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Conserved


The Earth Man

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Chapter 4: City 15

 

“So where to now, Visarra.”

“well my map says, that we should go to the nearest city”

“Which is?”

“City 15”

City 15, I’ve heard of it before. They say that it’s a very depressing city, or at least it looked depressing. Still I had to be on my guard, you never know when something might attack. I almost failed last time, but I wont fail this time.

“ok were here” Visarra said.

I saw city 15 and it didn’t look pretty. Smog covered the air, the buildings were either dark grey or silver, and it seemed to be raining all the time, but worst of all every single person was wearing the same, bland, navy blue, suit.

“what happened here“ I asked

“who knows, for all I know this used to be a water village, streams flowing and a huge waterfall, but ever since Makuta came it turned into this”

I looked around and saw a shattered statue of something, and then it hit me.

“I’ve been here before” I said

“Really?”

“Yes this was one of my friends village, I know because he helped made that shattered statue…It all makes sense now!”

“what?”

“This used to be Ga-koro, and that statue is of Gali, Toa of water”

“Wow so this used to be Ga-koro, what did Makuta do to this place?”

“I don’t know, but now I’m certain we have to stop him”

We kept moving, but from the back of us we heard a voice.

“Halt”

I turned back and saw a man in black trench coat-like armor, he was also wearing a whitish-grey gas mask.

“uhh…who is this ” I said

“city 15 security”

“well what should we do?”

“don’t worry, I have a plan just follow my lead”

She walked up to the security and said

“hi we were just delivering a message to the leader of this town so if you can just contact him and tell him were on the way”

“ok I’ll tell him”

He turned his back and stated talking.

“this is our chance to run”

So we ran away, but it was too late

“I’m sorry but our leader isn’t expecting a package….wait a minute, stop right where you are”

“he spotted us keep running”

“this is security number 4567, requesting backup”

“this is squad number 8 were on our way”

We ran through an alley, jumped on top of dumpster, hopped onto the roof, jumped through a window, went through a house, jumped out another window and landed on the floor(MINOR BONE FRACTURE: DETECTED), all while we were being shot at by security. We were at the end of the city, we were home free, but it was too late. Security had surrounded us.

“your hands where we can see them and don’t move”

We were done for it was hopeless, until I saw somebody up on the roof. He was wearing dark green and black, and wore a dark green mask that looked like it was always smiling. He jumped down and shot one of the security guards.

“Tally-ho!!!”

He landed and wiped out almost all the security. One of the security was requesting backup, but he slammed his face into the wall.

“we could use a guy like him” said Visarra.

“maybe we should ask him”

We got up and I said

“those were some nice moves back there”

“thanks, but I don’t have time to talk I have a city to save”

“so you protecting this city” said Visarra

“yes, and I wont stop until every single one of these “security guards” are gone”

“well were trying to stop the heart of all this” I said “were trying to stop Makuta”

“you are” he said “well..I guess I can stick around with you guys besides it kinda looks like you need me”

“thanks, oh by the wayI’m Drakis”

“and I’m Visarra”

“Name’s Garion”

“well welcome to the team Garion”

“it’s an honor to join”

“well…come on lets go the world isn’t gonna save itself”

“Is she always like this” Garion whispered to me

“yeah, basically”

Well at least now I have someone other than Visarra to keep me company

3 Comments


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A decent story I suppose.

 

Every sentence, speech or not, needs to be capitalised. You should type this up in Word, because it automativcally capitalises sentence beginnings if you're just too lazy to do it. >.>

 

Also, punctuation for speech is also a must, and it goes inside the quotations.

 

For the story itself...

 

You should explain more of the background information of the plot in some way. I don't really know anything that has ahppened before, except what the General tells Drakis.

 

Also the experiment tube things reminded me of Metroid Prime and Phazon and all that. :P

 

 

~KS~

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A decent story I suppose.

 

Every sentence, speech or not, needs to be capitalised. You should type this up in Word, because it automativcally capitalises sentence beginnings if you're just too lazy to do it. >.>

 

Also, punctuation for speech is also a must, and it goes inside the quotations.

 

For the story itself...

 

You should explain more of the background information of the plot in some way. I don't really know anything that has ahppened before, except what the General tells Drakis.

 

Also the experiment tube things reminded me of Metroid Prime and Phazon and all that. :P

 

 

~KS~

 

I do type it in word but when I bring over here it screws up everything, also the reason you dont hear much back story is because this is from Drakis's point of view, and he doesn't remember much of his past

 

-TEM

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