It's Thanksgiving!
So give thanks to the people who had to endure so much to give us our cool country while we get drunk, eat turkey, and watch football while yelling at the TV screen with family members who are also drunk.
Because it doesn't matter whether you're 5 or 105, you will get drunk on at least one family holiday per year.
If that's not the true spirit of America, I don't know what is.
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