So today, for a school assignment, I was required to write a short story in the form of an African folktale. I voted on going for a "Why?" story, which explains through highly unscientific means such mysterious subjects such as "why turtles have patterned backs" or "why mosquitoes buzz in people's ears."

*Ahem*

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Milk lived on a supermarket shelf with a bunch of milky friends. He was quite happy and content, and not wanting for company.

One day Person came and took Milk away. Milk bid his friends a hasty but meaningful farewell, yet knew this step was necessary to fulfill his milky destiny.

When Person arrived at his home, he tossed Milk on the counter and bolted to the living room to watch the latest episode of Sappy Love Overcomes Lame Scriptwriting. Milk waited patiently.

Hour after hour passed, and Milk became lonelier and lonelier. He began to wonder if his destiny involved dying of boredom.

Night arrived, and Person yawned, turned off the television, and fell asleep. Milk was by this time very put out.

"Stupid Person!" he cried to the empty kitchen. "I'll show you! I'll show you all!" And with that, he summoned his curdling power.

The next morning, Person walked into the kitchen, readied a bowl of cereal, and poured some milk over it. He stared in confused at the lumpy, white mess all over his Raisin Bran.

"Huh," he said.

"Serves you right!" muttered Milk. "Ha!"

And that is why milk curdles.

Turakii