Someone wrote me a staff bio on the staff bio page, and it is probably the greatest thing ever written!

For ease of access, here it is, reproduced in all of it's glory:

Now, dear secret admirer:

Who are you? And why do I get the feeling that you're probably super amazing and super sexy+ultrasexy yourself? And I somehow feel as if I love you terribly, and might have spent an hour or two on the phone with you the other day?