Hello, V-Team agents. Much has changed since you last heard from me.

You remember the last report, investigating the "death" of the pitch William D. Mays, Jr., popularly known as Billy Mays.

But that was not my last report.

You see, the enity known commonly as Lhikevikk -- I will neither confirm nor deny that we are in fact the same being -- has kindly allowed me to hack into his blog to send messages to you.

Every entry contains a message -- be it a warning, research update, or meeting plan.

EVERY ENTRY.

Unfortunately, an extraterrestrial servant is among us. I fear -- as I do many things, hence my founding of the operation -- that we will all fall if this entity, or their scheme, is revealed.

Be on your guard. Trust no one. Look for the signs. And beware of grapes with wooden mallets.

Conspiringly yours,

--M. W.

Mods, don't get weirded out by this, okay? Check the other entries in this category, they're all part of a Bradford Rant Institute-esque conspiracy joke. This disclaimer is here in case it wasn't obvious.