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Showing results for tags 'Project V'.
Found 22 results
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Scientists have apparently found a way to implant false memories in mice. Interesting!
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Was apparently a Time Lord. ALL OF HISTORY MAKES SENSE NOW
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And I want to paint it black...
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Remember that blog entry from about two years where I promised to fulfill the alleged 2012 prophecy by destroying the world myself? [buries compressed star in Earth's core and sets timer to 10:00 AM Eastern Time, December 21, 2012] The countdown... begins.
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Yay for blog entries with double meanings. EDIT: also some please cast a deciding vote in my name change poll already
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Hello. This is a message from the future. When you read this, you will have the wondrous and wonderful honour of being the first Earthlings to intercept a live tachyon stream. Never before has such an advancement in temporal technology been made in the grand history of humanity (and please don't try to change that by forwarding the message to Edison or something). Tonight, the world will uncover an ancient alien device, and change history forever by sending this signal! The world's top scientists will all be celebrating the momentous event, except for one, who believes that this technology could destroy the space-time continuum. Perhaps time itself will have to prove or disprove him? -transmitted 11:38 PM
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There's this member by the name of Google who keeps browsing the forum index. He has no profile.
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Before re-posting this, please remove comment #4, as it is considered chain quoting. Thanks! -Nukaya It is? Um, okay.
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In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. ... Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me "V."
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. So... should I open it?
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Maybe you've heard the rumors. Or maybe you've heard the lies "they" want you to believe. This project is here to bring you the truth. But remember, every step you take, every move you make, "they" will be watching you... THE V FILES: A SPOOF OF CONSPIRACY THEORIES EVERYWHERE! "But... WTH is it?" Project V is a fake conspiracy theory. The project is supposed to give proof that space aliens are trying to take over the world and that some of them are already among us. However, it is only for laughs, please do not take it seriously. Anyone accused of being an alien or covering up for them isn't really like that. (As far as we know...) But it is also an RHG. (Do not confuse with RPG!) Each installment will have one clue/puzzle. You may not post what it is or how to solve it, that you may PM to me. All the clues, but together, explain the answer. (If we only knew the question...) (If you don't know what RHG means, it means Red Herring Game. Examples includes Rampage Of A Rabbit, by Bioran23; A Change Of Space, by Moutekea; The Keys, by Tomana; and, to some extent, the Disc Collection Fad. And don't roleplay. RHG=/=RPG.) INTRODUCTION: You walk into an old apartment building and go up to the top floor. You ring the doorbell of an apartment, whose window you had seen while outside. It looked like no one had been there in years. The door creaks open, but still chained, with a strange-looking fellow peering out. He wears a brown overcoat with an upturned collar, a hat with the brim tipped downward, and sunglasses. PARANOID WEIRDO: Who are you? Why are you here? Speak, stranger! YOU: I'm, uh, here about that newspaper ad... the one that only had your address and a large V? PARANOID WEIRDO: Hmm... I'll let you in. But I can't say I trust you. Yet. The paranoid weirdo unchains the door and you enter. The place is decrepit, with cracks and cobwebs all over. YOU: So you... live here? PARANOID WEIRDO: You don't need to know that. What you do need to know is this. He walks to his desk (far from any windows) and opens a drawer. After shuffling through several files, he pulls out a folder and gives it to you. You read it. It has several pages on UFOs, as well as a few newspaper clippings. But the last paper surprises you. It is a signup sheet for some kind of alien-investigating team. PARANOID WEIRDO: So. Are you willing to join the V-Team? YOU: Yes, I believe I will. One question, though... what's your name? PARANOID WEIRDO: White. Matthew White. You fill in the form and are given some briefing on your mission, as well as an outfit that matches White's, and a briefcase. You leave, now a spy for... Planet Earth. So... like the whole concept? It's been in my head for a while, but now I have a blog and can put it into action. 8D If you want to join the V-Team, comment here and fill out your signup sheet: BZP name: Human name: [first name and last initial; you can use your real one but you don't have to] Gender: Skin color: Eye color: Hair color: Toenail color: [very important!] Specialties: Favorite brand of deodorant: [very important!] May the Farce be with you... EDIT: bumped for importance (no one wants to join? )
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Welcome aboard the Midnight Train to Nowhere. We will begin by departing from Accra, Ghana; traveling towards Cape Three Points and from there capsizing into the ocean until we reach the lovely little town of Nowhere. Nowhere is located at 0 latitude, 0 longitude and 0 altitude. It also has a population of zero. As this is a midnight train, we will leave Accra at 12:00 AM at a speed of 570 kilometres per hour. We will then screech to a halt at 12:01 AM and remain there until the next midnight. (This train only travels at midnight. Not 12:01 AM or 12:02 AM. Midnight.) This will continue for several days until we get to Nowhere. Enjoy your trip! DISCLAIMER: We will not be responsible for the disappearance of the drivers, mysterious knocking noises or weird ladies repeatng your every word. Be warned that your fellow passengers might be paranoid enough to try and throw you off the train.
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Welcome back, my fellow paranoids. It has been a while since we last met. However, turmoil has sprung up recently. Staff have retired, been promoted, been demoted, been promoted (forcibly), been self-promoted, been banned, been unbanned, been promoted again, been demoted... No doubt, this confuses you. Most likely, you may have resolved this debacle by rationalizing it as an April Fool's Day joke. There is one flaw in your logic, however. April Fool's Day does not exist. If you believe it does, you too have fallen to THEIR scheme. The calender you know is a figment of THEIR imagination, forced into your own minds. The earth does not rotate around the sun. The sun is a bioluminescent mothership that orbits the nanite infrastructure you inhabit. The illusion of Earth is so powerful it is nearly impossible to break. So we will not try. We will play into THEIR scheme. And use it against THEM. And it shall fall! Now, where was I rambling? Oh right, the admins. You see, everyone was shocked when B6 was banned. And Smeag. And Tufi. No doubt, you were too, unless you were brainwashed into believing the lie of April Fool's Day. Notice something missing, though? Allow me to reiterate: You see, everyone was shocked when B6 was banned. And Smeag. And Tufi. Still don't notice what's missing? Janus! He's what's missing. No one seemed to notice when he was banned. He was forgotten in the debacle. Because he controlled things. He is part of the Brotherhood of Andrew. All staff are. Everyone named Andrew is. What do B6, Smeag, Janus, Kaiapu, Tufi, Bones, Conner, GregF, and Turakii have in common? They are all named Andrew! It's insane! "Okay, Matthew, you've lost it. Only the first two have that name!" WELL THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN TOLD!! B6 AND SMEAG ARE ONLY ONES WHO AREN'T USING ALIASES!! THEY'RE PUPPETS OF JANUS!! Janus is the god of doors. (The doors themselves, not the hinges or knobs. His wife Cardea is over those.) Well, he controls the door of Hapori Tohu's left nostril! All staff are under his hypnosis! But one staff wasn't not. Until the vacuum companies got to him. More details next update. Someone's tapping into our communications, we must speak later. END TRANSMISSION disclaimer: it's a joke, okay
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---THE V-TEAM ADVENTURE: SHATTERING THE CONSPIRACY---
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...nothing happened. I love being wrong.
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I sense one. Please tell me that nothing scary happens tomorrow. Please?
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My real name is an anagram of "BZP NEST A.I. ON SALE." Obviously this has some connection to Matthew White's V files. Discuss.
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Hello, V-Team agents. Much has changed since you last heard from me. You remember the last report, investigating the "death" of the pitch William D. Mays, Jr., popularly known as Billy Mays. But that was not my last report. You see, the enity known commonly as Lhikevikk -- I will neither confirm nor deny that we are in fact the same being -- has kindly allowed me to hack into his blog to send messages to you. Every entry contains a message -- be it a warning, research update, or meeting plan. EVERY ENTRY. Unfortunately, an extraterrestrial servant is among us. I fear -- as I do many things, hence my founding of the operation -- that we will all fall if this entity, or their scheme, is revealed. Be on your guard. Trust no one. Look for the signs. And beware of grapes with wooden mallets. Conspiringly yours, --M. W. Mods, don't get weirded out by this, okay? Check the other entries in this category, they're all part of a Bradford Rant Institute-esque conspiracy joke. This disclaimer is here in case it wasn't obvious.
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(I'd do Michael Jackson and Ted Kennedy but we've got every other tabloid to cover them anyway.) The V Report: The W. "B." Mays Casefile Compiled by: Matthew W. w/ info gathered by Andrew T. and Joseph C. Date/Time/Location of incident: 7:45 AM, 28/06/09, Tampa, Florida Type of incident: Unexplained Death According to news reports, William Darrel "Billy" Mays, Jr. died of heart disease on June 28, 2009. But according to Billy Mays fact #98,725, Mays had no heart. He had a Tesla resonator. Instantly suspicious... Mays was an OxiClean salesman. Now, OxiClean HAS THE POWER TO REMOVE THE TOUGHEST STAINS FROM CARPETS! CLOTHING! FURNITURE! AND MORE! BUT WAIT! CALL WITHIN THE NEXT HALF HOUR AND YOU'LL ALSO GET-- Bah, if you know who we're talking about, you'd know what OxiClean is already. Some other questions need asking... 1. How could he die of heart disease if he had no heart? 2. Who were OxiClean's competitors? 3. What were those crop circles on his lawn? What's that? The news didn't mention those? Hmm... 4. Who is this "Vince Offer" person? And why is he in jail? 5. Are there any secret messages in the OxiClean ads? 6. What other products did he sell? Andrew T. and Joseph C. have manged to dig this info up on Vince Offer: -Born on April 25, 1964 in Haifa, Isreal (possibly forged, according to our investigations) -First seen in a "comedy" movie that you don't need to know about -Advertises ShamWow and the Slap Chop (ooh, that last one sounds violent) -Arrested for something that you also don't need to know about -Has a creepy smile O_O The last three just scream "alien" to you, don't they? But back to OxiClean. It would put vacuum cleaners out of business, no? We already know that the vacuum cleaner business is in cohoots with aliens to take over the world. (We will explain this in a future casefile.) We have already concluded that Vince Offer is secretly an alien posing as a human. And now for the shocker... (obtained by M.W. from an informant known onl as "Xaeraz"): It is also common knowledge that everything you read on the internet is true. (Unless the aliens are behind it.) Here are five very reliable facts: 1. Under his beard, Billy Mays has no chin. Just another set of vocal cords. (Why wasn't this revealed in the autopsy?) 2. When he was a child, Billy Mays had his tonsils removed and replaced with megaphones. (Same here.) 3. Billy Mays doesn't have lungs. He has sub-woofers. (Again, the coroners would have mentioned this.) 4. Billy Mays has no heart. He has a Tesla resonator. (How could he have had heart disease, then?) 5. Archaeologists in India recently discovered a new dinosaur. It was actually a bunch of dinosaurs, but it appears that the one in the middle killed the others by yelling at them. The dinosaur was originally called Billymaysaurus, but the Indian government made the archaeologists change it, because Billy Mays cannot die. That's right, he's alive, in hiding, no doubt. I, Matthew White, have already already sent my two best agents, Andrew T. and Joseph C., in search of Mays and Offer respectively. We'll keep you posted on this mission. May the Farce be with you. LONG LIVE YOUR LAUNDRY!
