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Not With A Bang, But A Whimper

Ka-Chan

Entry posted by Ka-Chan

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So I got what was presumably the final issue of the Bionicle comics. Now I won't lie when I say I don't particularly care much about it anymore- 95% of my figures are sealed away in the attic. But I figured I might as well read it just so I can know how things ended to my childhood. I throw grammar and punctuation to the wind in this summary of all that went through my mind as I skimmed- yes, skimmed, I didn't have the brass to make myself thoroughly read it- through the comic.

 

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"Okay, so Tahu's in Makuta for some reason and- oh God no, it's everyone's favorite plot tool; the Mask of Life. OH and now the mask of Life turned Tahu into a midget for who knows what excuse- oh, he has to? Okay yeah fine explain it with one sentence, that's cool.... Okay now there's some random gold armor involved and Takanuva is shocked that Tahu is a midget yet seems to have no quarrel with being one hi- WAIT did the mask pay him a visit too or something? Gaah whatever, moving o- WHAT THE HECK. A random explosion? How the snot did tha- Oh Makuta did it, right. He has time to somehow pinpoint the exact location of some golden armor that's never appeared in Bionicle lore untilt he last two pages and he's able to snipe it despite being in a giant robot fight with Mata-Nui. Okay. Oh look one piece conveniently appears in front of Gresh WHO'S ALSO A MIDGET. Alright no, I'm not gonna fret over that, I got a feeling there's a lot more of it. Alright the two Gods are fighting now, that's pretty sw- OH NO STOP TALKING! STOP TALKING BOTH OF YOU! YOU MAKE OPTIMUS PRIME'S MONOLOGUES LOOK LIKE SOMETHING OBAMA WOULD WRITEoh wait look random battle and another random [Removed. -Shine] battle taking us away from the battle of the two Gods that I DO want to see and IT'S RAINING ORANGE RAHKSHI and Tahu's magical armor just makes him do some generic 'PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER' blast that killed them all.

 

Oh and Makuta gets killed by a rock that konked him on the back of the head and they all lived happily ever after.

 

'NEVER...THE END' Really? Because I'm pretty sure you guys just guillotined the franchise in favor of some crummy licensed Galidor'esque figures.

 

 

Either Greg ruined Bionicle, I'm missing a serious amount of backstory, or I was just another one of those kids who didn't need an in-depth plot to make robots cool. Nah Greg just brutally murdered my childhood is all.

 

Rest in peace, Bionicle, you're in a better place now; the heavily nostalgia-biased memories in my skull.

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Bloody Nine

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The one backstory bit you missed was Tahu always being in Makuta's body, me thinks.

 

The rest is SPOT OON

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Ka-Chan

Ah, I had a feeling. Well, I'd like to act as though that cleared things up but that's basically akin to removing one leech when you're covered in them.

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Ka-Chan

I HAVE NO IDEA. I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW THEY PULLED THAT OFF.

 

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If there is one thing I can't stand, it's stories where the antagonist inadvertently winds up killing himself and the protagonist barely has to lift a finger. Grow a pair and knock his block off! Jeez!
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Bloody Nine

Because hoist by his own petard is more amusing.

 

Better to let the mad scientist shoot himself with his death lazer than to shoot him.

 

Unless you shoot him and then fry him.

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Catra

I felt it was kinda rushed and a bit of a letdown too.

 

maybe because I'm an oldbro

 

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Tahu: WUHAHAHA I FOND DA GOLDAN ARMER WAT DO

 

*dons golden armour, magically kills all the Rahkshi on Bara Magna and somehow magically cripples Makuta*

 

Taka: ffs I coulda done that

 

 

which in itself doesn't make sense. in Time Trap, Voporak vaporized wave upon wave of Rahkshi in Metru Nui and Makuta didn't feel a thing. not to mention he was in his own armour and they were both in the same universe and, if I remember right, weren't that far from each other. so how is it that a blast of light from some magical armour - which, did I mention, Taka could've easily done? - does nothing more than incinerate a load of Kraata and yet Makuta manages to feel it despite being in control of an entire universe and the Rahkshi aren't inside him? it'd be like if antibodies were fighting bacteria on a Petri dish at my feet.

 

also the question of the moon smashing into his head could've potentially killed a lot of people. however, this could be explained in that the OoMN might've told them what was going down and evacuation might've been going on.

 

also blah, depicting it as an actual robot and not as a whole universe inside the MU like it should be, lolwut?

 

idk that's my two cents

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Ka-Chan

Well that's two cents closer to a dollar so don't you worry.

 

Either way, I've decided to write up my own alternate ending. Nothing big here, but expect some rushed literary hash coming your way soon.

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Catra
Well that's two cents closer to a dollar so don't you worry.

 

Either way, I've decided to write up my own alternate ending. Nothing big here, but expect some rushed literary hash coming your way soon.

panel4a.jpg

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delta48
Well that's two cents closer to a dollar so don't you worry.

 

Either way, I've decided to write up my own alternate ending. Nothing big here, but expect some rushed literary hash coming your way soon.

sounds like a cool idea

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Ka-Chan

Oh and just a beforehand disclaimer, the ending will probably ravage the space/time/canon continuum but I think Bionicle's recent canon sucks anyways so I'll happily replace it with my own. Heck, I could have taken Greg's job and done it better. *

 

Feel free to chew me out for that rather bold statement but I regret nothing BECAUSE I KNOW.

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Catra
the ending will probably ravage the space/time/canon continuum

>implying Bionicle hasn't done that enough already

 

because seriously man :wacko:

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Xaeraz
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I think Mata Nui shoulda just grabbed the moon and thrown it through Makuta's torso. Woulda been so much better.
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Bloody Nine
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I think Mata Nui shoulda just grabbed the moon and thrown it through Makuta's torso. Woulda been so much better.

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BUT THE CHILDREN! THE PEOPLE OF THE MU!
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Xaeraz

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I think Mata Nui shoulda just grabbed the moon and thrown it through Makuta's torso. Woulda been so much better.

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BUT THE CHILDREN! THE PEOPLE OF THE MU!

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So? Who cares about them? =P
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delta48
the ending will probably ravage the space/time/canon continuum

>implying Bionicle hasn't done that enough already

 

because seriously man :wacko:

i cant remember any retcons in bionicle

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Bio D
Makuta was not killed by a meteor, but rather by a 20-kilo ferrous slug because Serviceman Chung decided to be a cowboy and "eyeballed it."

 

This is Brave Dragon's explenation, and I'm sticking to it!

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