*The following is a transcript of a series of text messages exchanged last night from my fellow movie goer Partner In Crime, Yankey Doodle- And no, that is not his real name- *

"Yo carl"

"Oh hey- whats up?"

"Not much, bored."

"Small world"

"Well heres something to spice things up"

"?"

"Dare you to watch Captain America"

"Oh no did they seriously make a movie of that"

"Yes. Look it up and watch"

"Only if you watch it too"

"Fiiinee"

And that was how I spent my friday night. Watching Captain America with my compadre on Speakerphone.

It was bad, my brothers. Really, really bad. Heck, not even bad- just lame

It did teach me some good lessons from the Captain himself, though! Like if I'm ever strapped to a rocket, I just got to kick it hard enough to fly to Alaska and I'll live to be thawed out from a cryogenic sleep 50 years later! OR if you ever need to carjack someone, just pretend you gotta toss your lunch. OH and we can't forget going into enemy territory wearing a "fire proof suit" that makes you look like a human bullseye is always the best method of infiltration.

He's a true American icon.