Starting today(well really a week ago but no one bought it then) I am making my 2012 insurance available to the public. For a mere $10 per share, you can insure that you and your family survive the catastrophic events that occur in 2012. Buy today and secure that you will be one of the fortunate ones to spend the rest of your live on a giant boat built by the government that sails around the flooded world endlessly.

Note: Some of the events in 2012 may be linked to pre-existing conditions such as fault lines, lots of rain, and possibly falling trains. We do not insure for these. Thank you.

-MT