This show took place early 2003, FYI.

"So I got on that airplane and off I went, and why don't the airlines just acknowledge that we're afraid? Why don't they just beat that on us? "Hey, have a great trip, you'll probably make it." 'Cause you probably will. They usually do. But what do they say? They try to make you not afraid by using that patronizing statistic 'Oh it's safer to fly in a plane the drive a car. Oh it's safer to fly in a plane the drive a car.'

I'm like Yeah, what about the other stat, the one that says it's safer to crash in a car then it is in a plane?? What about THAT one?? Cause that's the stat that matters. You get in a car wreck and they're like "Hey, anyone hurt?" Get in a plane wreck and they say "Hey, anyone RECOGNIZABLE??"

"By the way, has anyone noticed that Boo is the only scare word we know? It's the only thing we're ever taught to scare people with. If we didn't know Boo, we wouldn't know what to do. They'd open the door and we'd be like...... yeah. All we know is Boo. And yet Boo is not inherently scary. Watch, Boo, Boo, Boo, Boo, Nothing. So do people that say Boo think they're being so creative? "Boo, Gotchya." "Whoa "

No, it's the fact that you were hiding in the refrigerator at 3 in the morning that got me. You could have said just about anything. "Microwave wheeee..." It still woulda got me. I'm not afraid of Halloween, I'm not scared of Halloween, but the thing that is interesting about Halloween is that it's an inherently flawed holiday, because it doesn't work the way it's supposed to. Here's how it works: *knock knock knock* "Trick-or-treat, you gotta give me candy *whoo*"

The problem is, I wasn't tricked. They always come on the same day. I knew you were coming, no trick hence no treat. *slams door* It's too popular. If they came and Trick-or-treated in like, MAY. 3:00 in the morning, *knock knock knock* Arg, what's going on... "Trick-or-Treat." Oh, ok, you got me, ok. Whoo, alright, here's a pickle."

Everyone should go and watch Brad Stine. He's the bomb, and he uses clean humor. =)

-S