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Want My Cell Number?


Sisen

748 views

Well too bad because you can’t have it! Why? FedEx still refuses to deliver.

 

I ordered my cell phone last Friday. Most of my paycheck went towards paying for the phone so it was a hefty purchase. The first few days after purchasing the phone I never received any type of notification for it. Monday I wrote to customer support and miraculously Tuesday I received a shipment notification.

 

Much to my displeasure, I found out the package would be sent by FedEx. On the few occasions that I have received things via FedEx, none of them have ever arrived on schedule. For some reason FedEx can never find the place where we live. I cast aside my initial doubts because when I checked on the package status Wednesday it had already passed through two cities and was at the local FedEx facility and in a vehicle for deliver. When I checked back in on the status later in the day it said there was a shipment exception, cannot locate recipient.

 

Yesterday I got on the internet when I woke up to check the status. I was happy to see the status was as “in transit” but then I found out it actually wasn’t. Once again down in the details it said “delivery exception” and “awaiting additional delivery information from recipient.” I logged off and called FedEx because I knew they weren’t going to call me. Luckily I got a receptionist right when I asked for one.

 

So I’m telling the guy my information and about waiting for my package, and the failed attempt to deliver. He went “oh yeah” when he saw the information come up on his screen. Then he started asking for directions on how to get to our house. I started telling him the directions to get here. It wasn’t my first time explaining directions to our house with all the other trouble we’ve had.

 

(All actual location names have been replaced with Peace, Love, Faith and Hope.)

 

”What road in the town of Peace should we take?”

“You’ll need to take Love and then our road Faith. We live in the town and are out from it, so we can be hard to find.”

”Okay, so Love then Faith. Is there a sign addressing your road?”

“Yes, it says Faith right on it.”

”What major intersection can you name?”

“It’s Love and then Faith.”

”But what major intersection?”

“Okay you know what, take Hope and then Faith, it’ll be easier that way.”

”So no Love, but Hope and Faith instead?”

“Yes. Hope and Faith are right by the cemetery, you can’t miss it.”

”Now what major intersection can you name?”

“There is no intersection. You take Hope and then you go on Faith. The cemetery is right by both you cannot miss it.”

”Okay. So there is no intersection. You’re standing in the middle of the road with a compass. Which way do you turn?”

“It depends on which way you’re coming from.”

”You’re standing in the middle of the road with a compass and it is pointing north, which way do you turn?”

 

[At this point I was thinking they did a really great job making a human sounding recording because of all the repeated questions. I think this is the most illogical scenario ever because I’m not standing in the middle of the road with a compass. I have no idea which way north actually is and just a general idea. Plus, I can’t use a wand to point me in the right direction.]

 

“South, turn south.”

”So you take Love and turn South onto Hope?”

“Yes. Once you get on Hope just keep driving, we’re about halfway down the road. You can’t miss our house it is right by the Church.”

“Okay, you take Love, which is right by the church and Hope, and your house is by the cemetery.”

“No, the cemetery is by the roads and our house is by the church.”

”Oh okay, so no cemetery. Are there any other landmarks or ways to distinguish your house?”

“Besides our road being right by a cemetery and our house right by a church, not really. There is a bridge right at the end of our driveway. You can go in our driveway or you can take the bridge, obviously the deliverer would take our driveway.”

”What other things can you mention? Is there anything in your yard that might stand out?”

“Not really. We have a mailbox with our name on it at the end of our driveway. You can’t miss our house because it is right by the church.”

”Okay then, I’ll get this updated and you should have it as early as Friday.”

 

Today is Friday and the phone is not getting delivered. FedEx called today right before I woke and talked to my Mom. After I got up she told me what they said.

 

”Did you order a cell phone?”

“Yeah.”

”Well FedEx called and it isn’t going to be here until Monday. The kid who is delivering can’t find the place and the guy who called sounded like he was getting upset* about it.”

*I can’t say the word she used here.

“I called and told them directions yesterday.”

”Well I told them to take Love and our road is right by the cemetery.”

“That’s exactly what I told them already.”

”You could have just had my cell phone.”

 

(I won’t even get started on how irrational it would be for me to take my mom’s cellphone. She needs it for work or anything and the bill is a pretty penny. My plan is a third of what they pay and I get more service and features than her.)

 

She didn’t actually tell them the road name, she used the road number but it’s the same difference. It is the only road in the area with that name so it really doesn’t matter. Then the mail was delivered and there was a postcard from FedEx.

 

We are holding your package. We need additional deliver information: Directions from a major intersection or landmark. Your package will be returned to the shipper if we do not hear back from you in ten days.

 

I’m not upset that I’m not getting my phone yet again. I could care less when I get it as long as I get it eventually. I’m more upset by the fact in today’s technological age one of the major delivery services cannot deliver a simple package. Take some time to sit back and think about that. Then again that is today’s potential problem. A majority of people don’t take the time to think before they act.

 

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