Bionicleman BS01 Entry posted by Chols October 19, 2010 844 views Share https://www.bzpower.com/blogs/entry/96029-bionicleman/ More sharing options... Followers 0 Rofls ahoy (Blue = Bionicleman, dark red = Grant Sud, sexy dark blue = me)
Chols Posted October 19, 2010 Also everyone who reads this just read Twilight dang it. D: I would put a picture of Edward making the troll face here but I don't have a pic of that. Quote
-Bionicleman- Posted October 19, 2010 Thank you thank you. But really, sexy dark blue? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. Anyways, if you want an explanation for why that is terrible writing, read on. First of all, even if the only writing class you've taken was in fifth grade, you know that having each sentence structured "subject-verb" is a bad thing. Unfortunately, all of these are subject-verb sentences, which makes reading it very stunted. Second, this paragraph describes a whole lot about Bella's current situation, but in the end these descriptions are really unnecessary. Do we really care what the exact temperature of Phoenix is, the material of her shirt, or her cary-on item? I haven't read much past this, but something tells me these details aren't very important later. I do think descriptions are important, as they put you in the situation. However, to describe every minute detail pretty much pushes people away from the story, not attracts that to it. Unless, of course, you're the target audience of this book, female teenagers who need to know everything about what a person is wearing. As for why I spend this much time analyzing a paragraph of Twilight? Well, I consider half of my life's mission to destroy the popularity of Twilight, not only because I think the writing isn't very good, but because of the message it sends to girls. The other half? Sitting down and watching TV with a piece of pizza. Actually, that sounds like a good idea now that I think about it... *calls Papa John's* Quote
Chols Posted October 19, 2010 http://www.majhost.com/gallery/BS01Waffles...dwardcullen.jpg This aint no text-only comment. Problem, Jacob? (thanks ) Quote
Bambi Posted October 19, 2010 Twilight is the worst thing that happened to the world beside Justin Bieber. Quote
Blessed Blade Posted October 19, 2010 xD ... *Realizes what it means* >_< Dangit and you trolling us Cholie. =P </jk> Quote
Ace Rimmer Posted October 19, 2010 Ah, yes, twilight. A book with a horrible introduction that draws readers in an i have yet to know why. I COULD MAKE THAT BETTER AND I AM A FREAKING 7TH GRADER. ohwait-I'll ruin twilight for twilight fans. HELLO BLADE. Quote
Waffles Posted October 20, 2010 Ah, yes, twilight. A book with a horrible introduction that draws readers in an i have yet to know why. I COULD MAKE THAT BETTER AND I AM A FREAKING 7TH GRADER. ohwait-I'll ruin twilight for twilight fans. HELLO BLADE. At first grade I could do better. I was behind in first grade. Quote
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