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Dr. Bionicle

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Blog Entries posted by Dr. Bionicle

  1. Dr. Bionicle
    No, my name is not Jigsaw. No, there are no winners. And yes, you will all come out alive.
     
    Anyway, here's a nifty little game that I've played more than a few times on the internet. It's really simple. There will be a series of questions or statements which require an answer. However, instead of using common sense (wouldn't want to hurt anything ), we're going to use what we call the Shuffle Button.
     
    That's right, take your iPod, Windows Media Player, or whatever playlist you may have available, and turn on the shuffle button. The answer to each question will be whatever song title is on your playlist. No skipping (unless, of course, the song title is inappropriate)!
     
    Here's my specially designed questionare thingermajig, some of which is snagged from others I've done...
     
     
    What is my life's philosophy?
    What will my last words be?
    How am I feeling today?
    What is my theme song?
    What song will be played at my wedding?
    What song will be played at my funeral?
    How will I be remembered?
    What is some good advice for me?
    What is my life's dream?
    What's my kind of lady/man?
    How do people on BZPower see me?
    How would I describe this blog?
    How would I describe my best friend?
    What's in store for this week?
    How would I describe my parents?
    If I had one wish, what would I wish for?
    What do my friends think of me?
    What is said about me behind my back?
    What do I think of this questionare?
     
     
    Go for it!
     
    Here would be mine...
     
     
     
    What is my life's philosophy? Life is a Highway
    What will my last words be? Don't Worry, Be Happy (XD)
    How am I feeling today? It Ends Tonight (O_O)
    What is my theme song? Hello, McFly (Hey, sweet!)
    What song will be played at my wedding? Beautiful Disaster (XDXDXD)
    What song will be played at my funeral? Bad Day (Well, yeah...)
    How will I be remembered? Head Held High (Oh, well, that's good)
    What is some good advice for me? My Friend (So Long)
    What is my life's dream? American Pie (Er...)
    What's my kind of lady/man? You Give Love a Bad Name (XD)
    How do people on BZPower see me? More Than Useless (Uh, thanks?)
    How would I describe this blog? Pressing On (Eh, more or less...)
    How would I describe my best friend? Healing Rain
    What's in store for this week? Come Sail Away (Ho, boy...)
    How would I describe my parents? Gone (O_O)
    If I had one wish, what would I wish for? Somebody to Love (Score!)
    What do my friends think of me? On Fire (O_o)
    What is said about me behind my back? Oh! Gravity
    What do I think of this questionare? Must Have Done Something Right (Heh...)
     
     
    So there you go.
     
    Interactively,
    Dr. Bionicle
     
     
  3. Dr. Bionicle

    Hi, Guys!

    By Dr. Bionicle,

    Okay, yes, I did kind of disappear and haven't really had any contact with BZPower in forever.
     
    So I guess some of you (BZPRPers, especially) are wondering where the cow I've been.
     
    Well... uh...
     
    Let's just say that my social life has greatly improved over the past year. Despite the fact that the learner's permit severely limits my driving skillz, my life has become saturated with... well... life.
     
    And also, you guys know that novel I've been talking about?
     
    Yeah, I'm still working on that.
     
    But that DOESN'T mean I've forgotten this place... not at all. In fact, I've been wanting to get back onto this place, but I've been afraid that with my bogged schedule, any toe in the water would end up getting me drawn back in and I wouldn't be able to commit any time here.
     
    Well, a few things drew me back.
     
    First of all, I miss the darn place. This is the haven of my nerdity, and you can bet I miss that.
     
    Second of all, I know that Smeag's probably going to cut my throat if I don't get back here for the BZPRPG, and I figured that I'd probably get something slapped on me for being gone so long (dig the new banner).
     
    And thirdly, well, I figure if I stay away too long, some of you guys are going to forget about me.
     
    So here I am!
     
    Let's see what I can do about this blog...
     
    ...
     
    Oh, wait, I need to do stuff first.
     
    ...
     
    Dang.
     
    Well, when I do, I'll be back.
     
    Till then...
     
    Schwarzennly,
    Dr. Bionicle
     
     
  4. Dr. Bionicle
    Yeah, so I got to miss the past two days of school due to Model United Nations in Topeka. For those of you that don't know what that is, it's basically where a bunch of middle/high school kids assemble and simulate the United Nations, speaking to the world's major issues and voting on them.
     
    Seeing as this was my first year, I got one heck of a nifty country: The United Arab Emirates.
     
    Don't worry, I'd never heard of it either.
     
    I convened in General Assembly II with my friend Sebi, who was representing Chile, and we began speaking to the agenda. I won't bore you with it, I'll just give you the highlights...

    I presented a resolution (basically, a bill addressing a problem) on getting the world clean water, which got passed. After arguing over the issue of global warming for an hour-and-a-half, we decided to table all resolutions pertaining to the issue indefinitely (basically, we decided we never wanted to talk about it again). Whenever you present a speech of negation or affirmation (that's a speech you make saying whether you agree or disagree with the bill presented and why the members of the council should vote for or against it), you usually present a "fun fact" about your country. Over the course of two days, I heard 11 fun facts about Russia, because the dude did nothing but talk. Fun fact about the UAE, two popular sports of ours are camel racing and falconry. Today we all voted down a resolution to establish a secret ninja task force that would combat all terrorism in the world (yes, that does include me... sorry, but jedi > ninjas *shrug*). General Assembly I spent two hours arguing over whether polar bears should be allowed to live or not. The Economic and Social Council entertained the idea of dissolving Canada under the rationale that it was utterly useless. It was suggested that it would be split into 5 pieces and be given to the five greatest powers in the world. (This did not get passed.) Mongolia dissed Russia three times, while Netherlands came in a close second with two disses in the direction of Russia. In the end, the UAE brought home the "Best Delegation" award, with one of our representatives taking the Silver Medal for "Best Delegate."  
    So yeah, if that doesn't sound totally nerdy, then you must have interesting parties at your house.
     
    Moving to adjourn this blog entry,
    Dr. Bionicle
  5. Dr. Bionicle
    Guys...
     
    Complaint topics aren't cool.
     
    I'll say it again.
     
    Complaint topics aren't cool.
     
    That being said, I'm not opposed to people expressing their opinions on things. Dude, if you don't like the Mistika, you don't have to, and I don't mind you telling me why you don't. Tastes differ. I get that. Odds are, I agree with you on at least one or two points.
     
    The thing that isn't really cool is just coming up and saying, "Hey! I don't like this! Let's all talk about it!"
     
    What makes this worse is when it whittles down to, "You don't agree with me and/or I don't think you articulated your opinion very well... I'm going to be insulting now!"
     
    And then the person in turn goes, "Hey, they're insulting me. What a #####!" and return the favor.
     
    First of all, guys, if you post a topic about it, all it really tells us is that you want to wallow in your dislike of something, and that's not very awesome.
     
    And yeah, I know, I know... it's just an honest display of your opinion.
     
    However, the thing that distinguishes an honest display of opinion and wallowing is the way you go about it expressing it. If you want to honestly display your opinion, go to the appropriate topic (if such exists), and give your opinion. If you don't like the Mistika, go to a topic about the Mistika and say it.
     
    A not-so-honest display of opinion desires to draw attention to itself. Walk into a topic and say, "Seriously, this ____ is really stupid" then you're just asking for attention to be drawn to you (if you didn't know that and don't like that, then you see your problem). When you post a topic, particularly in that manner, then that's where we get into wallowing.
     
    I'm not saying your complaints are stupid or aren't legitimate. I'm saying that there are better ways of handling it.
     
    I have rarely seen a complaint topic that couldn't be discussed somewhere else or PMed to somebody or simply expressed elsewhere. If you have a blog, go vent your crazy heart out (within BZP guidelines, of course ). Topics are not necessary and, in case you haven't notice, only cause havoc.
     
    Honestly guys, we don't need to discuss exclusively disliking something. Like it or not, your discussions on a website of this side will almost never be one-sided. Someone out there is going to disagree with you. There's no need to condescend them, complain them and/or people like them, or assume that a topic complaining will keep them away (in fact, it tends to have the opposite effect).
     
    Yes, I know... this whole thing is somewhat ironic, but I'm just saying...
     
    Cool your jets and easy on the complaint topics.
     
     
    Bioluminescently,
    Dr. Bionicle
     
     
     
  6. Dr. Bionicle

    *hallelujah Chorus*

    By Dr. Bionicle,

    The quarter's over, FINALLY. The teachers have finally let up on cramming as many projects/strenuous assignments/tests into their deadline as possible, and with a clean slate things have gotten much more relaxed.
     
    A three-day weekend ain't bad either.
     
    Well, a few updates...

    Looks like that literature festival I was looking forward to this month I won't be attending. Didn't get my form and money turned in time, I'm not interested in blowing up my brain by reading a novel in four days, and Copper Sun, the book I'm supposed to read, isn't that brilliant anyway. It's a little irritating, since pretty much all my friends are going, but I'll hold up.
    I'm doing Model UN. Woot for politics.
    KU beat KState at football (WOOT).
    KU Basketball starts up soon (AGAIN, I SAY WOOT).
    BZPRPG isn't dead, no. I've been pondering over outcomes and such, and how I'll be tying everything in exactly. For those of you that haven't peeked into the Academy Region topic, Kyshim will be going through some interesting controversy. I've already gone so far as to introduce my next guardian, not to mention my first female character, which will have some pretty sweet storyline revolving around her if it all works out as I hope.
    Being 15 is good.
    I'm looking into getting some Switchfoot/Relient K tickets on their tour this fall. Looks my best shot at a concert would be Rapid Springs, Missouri, but hey, it's two of my favorite bands ever.
    The Ventura Guitar is pretty amazing, and upped my CP (Cool Points) +3. 14 more CP points and I'll be ready to learn "Bored Expression"!
    I'm addicted to Star Wars: Battlefront II for the fourth or fifth time this year. I'm pretty cheap, too. Play Instant Action, set Heroes with the timer set to "Always" and the respawn set to "Always", and I'm ready to roll. Tantive IV and Death Star are my favorite maps at this moment. Luke Skywalker and General Grievous have got to be my favorite heroes. And I finally beat my deaths record in Capture the Flag with 198 kills.
    The novel, Cyborne, is finally starting to pick up. The introduction is always the hardest part to write, and I'm a good four pages into it, so things are going pretty well.
    I'm almost finished with Lord of the Flies which I, amazingly, have never read prior to my Advanced English class. I admire Golding's work, though the book's pretty dang freaky.
    On Monday I'll have been dating Liesel, my girlfriend, for four months, which is a pretty big deal in comparison with all the three-week relationships that generally surround the freshmen year.
    My auditioned school choir is traveling to KMEA (Kansas Music Educator's Association) and ACDA (American Choral Directors Association) conventions this year. Essentially, that means we're one of the best junior high choirs in 7 states, which is pretty cool.
    After our trip to Carnegie Hall last year, LCC's going for a something a little tamer, going to the "Sing a Mile High Festival" in Colorado. It'll be pretty cool, we get to stay in dorms in everything. However, we already know that the choir next year will be traveling to Lithuania and Latvia, and I'm graduating this year. Dang.  
    Yeah, so that's pretty much what's going on right now.
     
    *too tired at this moment to write anything more conclusively*
     
    ...
     
    *or write a sign-off*
  7. Dr. Bionicle

    Sick Doc

    By Dr. Bionicle,

    These are the times when I wish I was a real doctor...
     
    Well, down here in Kansas, there's been a bad flu virus breaking out with a telling average of 65 absent kids at the junior high for a straight week. I caught the darn thing a couple of weeks ago and lost it pretty quickly, but it looks like I didn't build up a full immunity to it, 'cause it came back on Wednesday.
     
    Within my time of sickness, I managed to inhale a few cups of Pepto Bismol, a score of Tylenol, and freak out the entirety of my school choir by being absent on Thursday, just one day before our state-wide convention in which I had a solo.
     
    I got better by Friday (the convention was SWEET), but its relapsed and so I'm sitting here with a stomach experiencing gastral schizophrenia. I don't know when I'm going to feel fine or when I'm going to feel like upchucking every cookie I've got.
     
    Feeling good now, and hopefully I'll get rid of this thing tonight. Tomorrow I've got Model UN (WOOT UNITED ARAB EMIRATES), and I'd look pretty silly throwing up all over the Model Middle East Caucus.
     
    (On the plus side, I finally saw Spider-man 3 and Transformers in my time of illness! On the low side, I rate them both in the 'okay' category, with S3 scoring an overall 'not bad' and Transformers bringing home a 'nice try' rating.)
     
    Blechingly,
    Dr. Bionicle
  10. Dr. Bionicle
    This is basically for guys. Girls, sorry, but I kind of have the advantage of being the same gender as the guys, so it's much easier for me to get where they're coming from. And the perspectives here are two totally different ones, really.
     
    So yeah, guys.
     
    You're going to/have reached a point where you start liking girls. Some of you may think this is weird still, some of you have probably been liking girls for a long time now, some of you are older than me and are thinking "What's this guy ranting about?", so just hear me out. I'm doing my best to speak to a good range of people here. Also know that I'm speaking from multiple viewpoints, some which are older and some which are younger than myself.
     
    First of all, those of you who still don't like girls, guys, you're going to. Yeah, I know, it may seem really weird, but it's going to happen. I could give you the whole biological lowdown on it, but the basic point is: It's inevitable. Some of you may hold out longer than others, but it's going to happen.
     
    Trust me, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Really. No, seriously, join the club. If your friends still don't like girls and you do, then just wait. Eventually, it'll get to the point where you're all comfortable with it. And once you all are, believe me, you're going to talk about it a lot. So don't feel ashamed of it. It may feel weird, but that's basically natural. I mean, it's a new experience, right? We tend to feel weird about stuff like this, particularly us as guys, because we feel we have a certain obligation to be masculine.
     
    So if you've just started liking girls, don't feel like it's going to go away. The awkwardness will go away eventually, but you're just starting, man. Girls are going to be a serious mental nag. You're going to develop crushes, some bigger than others, and as you get older, things start happening.
     
    You may start feeling more awkward around girls (or the particular girl that you like), possibly girls that you never had trouble talking to or maybe never talked to before. That's OK, really. It just means that you're not really sure how to respond yet. And how could you? Like I said, it's a new experience, and we tend to be tentative or cautious about new situations (unless you're a daredevil, in which case, hoo boy).
     
    Oh, and before I go any further, let me tell you exactly what a crush is. A crush is basically an infatuation with another person of the opposite gender (for us, a girl). In short, a crush is where you like someone "from a distance". Basically, you just like them because you've observed them and something about them attracts you. As you get older, you may experience some more personal crushes, as in girls that are maybe your good friends, but usually you start with some distant crushes. It's a pretty nice way to start, since generally, these don't hurt anybody.
     
    Guys, let me just tell you right now, a crush is generally 99% you. In other words, you're the single source of your own crush. Since a crush is generally private (till you hit Junior High/Middle School, in which case, it's generally considered public scandal ), you can rarely be swayed in who your crush is. I mean, unless your friend tells you that they feed on human flesh or something, generally you make your own decisions on the matter.
     
    And be warned, crushes can be delusional. You can take some things way too seriously or way too lightly under the influence of a crush (oh great, now I sound like a PSA). Seriously, though. If you invite her and some of her friends to a party, and she says 'No', she's probably not rejecting you directly, she probably just doesn't want to go. But still, something in the back of your mind makes a transfer, and you just kind of assume, "Oh, she's not interested. Dang!" That's a pretty calm mindset (I've seen worse), but still delusional. So just don't assume. You'll save yourself a lot of face that way.
     
    Okay, here's one big thing I wanted to hit on. Guys, sometimes you'll try to act different around your crush. There are multiple reasons for this. Maybe you think that being yourself isn't good enough, maybe you just don't know what to do, heck, maybe you want to stave her off. Whatever it is, look out. Don't do anything stupid like...
    Start acting like a total foulmouth when you really aren't Try to be the unsaid BMOC Brag about yourself all the time Act all flirty (Oh, gosh, you have no idea how bad this looks... ><) Try to deliberately act like a "jock" (AKA a person who generally is just mean, in the stereotypical sense) Put down everyone around you Be a totally spontaneous spaz Just a few generic things. Guys, seriously, this isn't even to assume that you want to attract her, just to save your own self. If you start doing this, it becomes fairly obvious why, and you'll most likely get heat for it.  
    And guys, a few other things, especially around girls you know...
    Don't treat her like just another guy. Really. While it may feel more natural, you have to remember she is a girl, and as such, that has to be respected. That means don't tell her your gross jokes, don't start making weird sounds with your armpit, that stuff.
    Don't give her all the attention all the time. Geez, guys, for people who generally like to keep this stuff secret, we sure stink at doing it. It's pretty obvious when you like someone if you're constantly talkign directly to them, regardless of who's speaking, and constantly looking at them. That doesn't mean you shouldn't give her attention, but seriously, if there are other people around, a little acknowledgment will not hurt.
    Don't try to bring up romantics. It gets pretty obvious when a guy's in C-Mode (aka Crush Mode) when he starts bringing up romance. If you wouldn't do it normally, good grief, don't do it now! You'll be getting weird looks for the rest of the day.  
     
    Now, a lot of you are probably at the point where you want to "ask her out". Now, few people realize what responsibility those three words hold. Guys, remember, that when you commit to being someone's "boyfriend", it is a commitment. That means you've got to be the boyfriend. You've got to pay special attention to her, stand up for her, all that. So if you think dating or being a couple is just about getting your arm up around her shoulder in the movie theater, you've got a lot to learn.
     
    You need to really be serious if you want to ask a girl out. Guys, seriously. I really don't care too much for these "relationships" I hear about that go on in 4th Grade, because generally it contends to the fact that neither is very serious about it. I'd at least wait beyond 7th Grade. The youngest serious relationships I see going on are in the 8th Grade, but these are still some special people we're talking about.
     
    Remember, only ask out a girl when you are sure that you can handle that situation of being her boyfriend.
     
    Yeah, some of you are probably thinking "Uh...OK?", right?
     
    Well, trust me, if you don't find it out here, you'll find it out on your own time or from others.
     
    Anyway, considering that you are actually ready for this kind of thing, guys, make sure you check your intentions before trying anything. Honestly, make sure that you...
    Aren't just wanting to go out with her because all your other friends have girlfriends. Being in a relationship is about you and her, not about other people. So if you start something around that basis, you can bet that it will probably crash to the ground. Aren't just asking her out because everyone says you should. Some people seem perfect for each other in theory, then end up being a mess in experiment. If you feel nothing, then don't listen to the masses. Aren't just asking her out to say you've asked out a girl. Dating isn't about getting a reputation, guys. It's about two people in a relationship that goes beyond friendship. So please don't make this mistake like so many others! Aren't just asking her to make someone else jealous. Yeah, sounds right out of a soap opera doesn't it? But believe me, the teenage mind works in mysterious ways, and you really have to double-check your motive. More than once, have I caught my friends doing this, and for the most part, they didn't even realize it. Aren't just asking her out because you're bored. Guys, relationships are scary things, and they shouldn't be based off of whims. Aren't just asking her out as a joke/because someone dared you to. That's low. Period. Aren't just asking her out because you're lonely. That's what friends are for, and I think it's good to experiment with friends before you try to move onto a real relationship.  
    Guys, the number one reason you should be asking her out is because you want to and think you're ready. If that's not it, check yourself. Your motives are not limited to this list, but if your intention isn't your own, then you need to do some seriously soul-searching.
     
    No, I'm not going to give you tips on how to score a date or how to be a wonderful boyfriend or any of that. Yeah, I know, you can start breathing again. Guys, I'm not trying to be Dr. Love or anything of that sort, because really I'm not. I just want to alert you to what's going on here.
     
    If you haven't figured it out yet, to us guys, girls are the most confusing thing in the world. We really just don't get them, so the concept of possibly wanting to date one is freaky. I hope that somewhere in this little rant of mine, you've picked up something, and if you haven't, then hopefully you will someday.
     
    And anyway, that's all I really wanted to say.
     
     
    Awkwardly,
    Dr. Bionicle
  11. Dr. Bionicle

    Dr. Independent

    By Dr. Bionicle,

    Those of you tempted to bust out into Kelly Clarkson lyrics in reaction to the title, you are excused. Go ahead. This is the only time I'll condone any praise of Kelly Clarkson, so take it if you want it. Commence. I'll wait.
     
    ...
     
    Done?
     
    Okay, now let's move along. (Those of you tempted to bust out into AAR lyrics, sorry. I'll try and get you a turn later.)
     
    For those of you that don't know, I have a mass of siblings. Three sisters and one brother. Now before my little bro came into the picture, I was the only guy in the house (minus my dad) which meant, that's right, I had my own room. I was free to do whatever I wanted to the walls, floor, whatever.
     
    Then little Drewmeister popped onto the scene and that independence is gone.
     
    So for nearly a decade I've been sharing a room with the little guy. It isn't that bad, really.
     
    Well, except that when he turned seven he had the uncontrollable urge to strike up some bedtime conversation in which I, being fairly sleep-deprived, had no interested in participating in.
     
    "Ben, are vampires real?"
     
    "Barglsmuffinbush..."
     
    "Ben?"
     
    "Zzzzz..."
     
    "Ben!"
     
    *climbs up on the bunk and decides to whack me in the head*
     
    "Za...wha?"
     
    "Are vampires real?"
     
    "No. Go to sleep."
     
    "Okay."
     
    ...
     
    "Ben, are you sure?"
     
    "Yes, I'm sure. Stop talking."
     
    "Ben, if you were a vampire, could you fly?"
     
    "No."
     
    "If you bit me, would I fly?"
     
    "Do you want to find out?"
     
    "Not really."
     
    "Okay, good. Go to sleep."
     
    ...
     
    "Ben, do you have a cape?"
     
    This would basically go on for about half-an-hour or so until he finally gets tired enough to go to sleep, or decided he needed to get up. At this, he would turn on the light (which, when you're on the top bunk, is like a floodlight), and start looking for something he lost a week ago for no apparent reason. As I tried to block out the light under the covers, he would ask me if I could see it.
     
    "Do you see it, Ben?!"
     
    "See what?"
     
    "My Gameboy!"
     
    "Why do you need your Gameboy at 10 at night?"
     
    "I need to see if my Pokemon grew in the nursery."
     
    "Get in bed."
     
    "Not until..."
     
    At this point, I would get frustrated and either bean him across the head with a small stuffed animal, or get up and turn off the light. If it was a particularly bad night, he would begin to argue with me, then the parents would awaken, also sleep-deprived, and no one goes to bed happy.
     
    He's stopped doing that now, although he does have the uncanny instinct to talk in his sleep. Well, after years of this, my graduated sister moved out of the house. What did this mean? I could finally take the office, and start to transform it into my own room. I'm happy to say that I am now writing this blog entry in my own room.
     
    As of today, we've only done a few things. My dresser is down here, my bed is in a placeholder position till we can get the huge computer desk out of here. The paint job and the floral trim aren't exactly a masculine touch, but we might be able to get the thing painted some time later this year. Right now, it's more office than room, but I at least have a place of my own.
     
    So that's the update for today. Whoo.
     
    Renovatively,
    Dr. Bionicle
     
  12. Dr. Bionicle
    It occurs to me that many people are unaware of how to make a good blog entry. People just type whatever pops up into their heads. Well, I'm here to set the record straight. Here is the format for a good blog entry.
    Here you should have a greeting of some sort. Something like "Hello", "Hi, guys", or "Good morning" or even "Hoo-hah Bonjour" if you're trying to appeal to those of foreign demeanor.  

    Here is where you explain your reason for not having made a blog entry in the past few months. This usually should have a well-placed excuse. Example: I'm sorry I haven't posted anything in a while, but I was abducted by these Aliens disguised as the Swedish Government (those fiends!) and they were holding me hostage on Pluto until we declare it a planet again.
     

    Now you move onto what you want to talk about. You should try to grab their attention with your first line. You can do it very nonchalantly (i.e. I found out Elvis came back from the dead today) or in a way that will excite your readers (i.e. ELVIS IS BACK FROM THE DEAD, RUN FOR THE HILLS!). Truth is optional here.  

    Now you should get to the point. Describe your situation in detail. Example: I made friends with Jenkin the Imaginary Dinosaur today. He's a good guy. I'm just afraid he might eat me.
     

    Now elaborate. Example: Because he's been looking at me all funny, licking his lips and stuff, and then I found out that someone replaced all the water in the shower with BBQ Sauce.
     

    Give a funny anecdote. Make sure it involves lots of violence. Example: It reminded me of the time that I accidentally hit Jane Doe in the face with an excited hedgehog covered in relish. She smacked me a good one upside the head after that. So I blasted her with my mashed potatoes. Then she had to go and set off a bomb. Then we started hearing these jet fighters come overhead...
     

    Throw in a joke. Relation to the topic is optional. Example: So the sponge said to the faucet, "That's no dish towel, that's my wife!" But seriously, folks...
     

    Compare it to past events. Example: I had this one friend, his name was Carny, and he was an Imaginary Tiger. Well, believe it or not, he tried to eat me. I didn't catch on till he strapped me to the grill and asked if I'd like to be 'well-done' or 'medium-rare'.
     

    Make fun of as many BZPers as you can in one sentence. Quality of the insults is irrelevant. It's quantity, not quality, that counts. Example: Which reminds me of Omi, who has weird hair, and SPIRIT, who's a silly rock, and -Chicken Little- who has hyphens before and after his name, and Kex, who's purple, and WaWa, whose name appears twice, and Smeag, who's schizophrenic!
     

    Throw in a pun, just for the heck of it. Example: Rodents like to go on MOLER Coasters!
     

    Complain about Bionicle in some way, shape, or form. Example: Those things aren't real! They're plastic!
     

    Advertise yourself. Make sure to motivate. Example: Remember to visit my blog and my mutant gerbils will be happy!
     

    Now that you've got them hooked, go on to tell them about your day. Make it as dull and monotonous as possible! Example: So then I woke and then I brushed my teeth and then I saw that there was this little bit of plaque, so I scrubbed and then it wouldn't come off and then I scrubbed again and then it still wouldn't come off and then I took out the blowtorch...
     

    Then wrap up your blog entry real quick with something snappy. Example: Ya da da da da-dat da! Ya-dat-da-dat! Uhbeebuhdabeeba...That's all folks! Ya dat dat da da-dat-da!
     
     
    And that, my friends, is how to make a *good blog entry.
     
     
    * Definition of good is variant and may or may not actually appeal to your desired audience. In fact, I'm not even going to lie, none of this really works. Just do it your own way and stop looking to my blog for advice. Young'ns.
     
     
    ly,
    Dr. Bionicle
  13. Dr. Bionicle
    Many of you may have been somewhat enlightened by my previous entry "How To Make a Good Blog Entry". I've decided to continue my series, expanding to other outlets of BZPower. One in dire danger is the Comedies Forum, and thusly I'm creating this entry for the benefit of writers everywhere.
     
    Please note that this is strictly satirical. Do not take this seriously.
     
    So let's get started, shall we?
    To start off, you need a good title. There are many trends going around as of late. Trends like "Toa as *age group*", "Bionicle meets *popular icon*", and "The ___ Show!". While originality is appreciated, 45 comedians can't be wrong, right?  

    You must have an alluring topic description. Something snazzy and spontaneous. Nothing turns the audience's head more than a good ol' "aLL yOuR bAsE aRe bElOnG tO pIe!1111.52 LOL desimuls". Or the ever-popular threat "Read this or I'll sick my radioactive badger on you! lol"  

    After you've come up with a title and you're writing the first post, it's time to think about what your story is about. Relation to the title is optional.  

    Include a narrator. Narrators give a sense of magic to the audience. And make sure that he constantly harms and/or argues with the characters.  
    Example:
     
    Narrator: So Tahu ate the pie.
    Tahu: Mmmm, pie!
    Narrator: ...that was full with Super Fire Nuva Hot Sauce!!!!!!
    Tahu: OOOMGEE MY MOUTH!!111 CURRsE u NARatir!!!
    Narrator: Lol, Tahu, you can't even spell good.
    Tahu: Oh ya, well I show u! FIRE BALLLL!!!!!!
    Narrator: But the fire ball couldn't reach the narrator cuz he's really good looking (eat your heart out ladies lol) and it bounced back and hit Tahu right in the rear.
    Tahu: OOOOMGEE MY REER!11
    Narrator: I looooooooove being the narrator. Bow to ma powa'!!! XDDDDXDXDDXXD
     

    Make sure you have a collective cast. It should consist of six basic elements (OMG SIX ELEMENTS LOL LIKE THE TOA ROAOTFL (that's Rolling All Over The Floor Laughing, hey parentheses in parentheses, it's da apocalypse!!)). These are...  
    -Your standard doofus. Doesn't know much of anything and always ends up doing something stupid for whatever reason. All the others scorn him. Common targets are Pohatu, Stone Toa, and people who's name in pig latin is Ohatupay.
     
    Example:
     
    Narrator: And so they were talking about quantam physics and stuff.
    Tahu: So, u see, e=mc2 and pi = 3.14s.
    Gali: Oooooo, I sees.
    Pohatu: I tought pie = cherry.
    Tahu: ???
    Pohatu: I like cherry pieZ!
    Gali: OMG POHATU we"r not toking abot pie with an E!!!
    Pohatu: theres other pie?!1!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
    Tahu: Yeah :bored:
    Pohatu: THEN LET MEH EAT IT!1
     
     
    -Your standard genius. Knows basically everything, regardless of whether it's true or not. Nobody likes them, but they're usually the leader anyway. Common targets are Gali, Hahli, and virtually any female.
     
    Example:
     
    Pohatu: PIE!!11
    Gali: 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510
    Pohatu: Dat not cherry!11
    Gali: Itz a irrational numbah.
    Pohatu: Like my mudda'-in-law? lolo
    Gali: Why we talkin' like gangstaz?
    Pohatu: CUz i liek Pie11
    Gali: Math!1
     
     
    -Your standard master of deus ex machina. Can solve virtually any problem within milliseconds. Common targets are Kopaka and Takanuva.
     
    Example:
     
    Gali: Ohs noes! It's da' blak hole!
    Pohatu: lol u talkin like a gangstazzz again!1
    Gali: we geting suked In thrugh centrifugalgravitationalfrictionizedinertiaismalism!
    Pohatu: o ya
    Kopaka: Don't worry! i Freez the blak hole!1
    Narrator: So Kopaka freezed the black hole.
    Black Hole: OHS NOOOOOOOOOOOOES
    Kopaka: Noone mess w/ Kopaaka!1
     
     
    -Your standard weirdo. Usually talks funny, acts funny, or just is weird. Common targets are Lewa, Lewa, and Lewa's son Lewa II (but you can call him Lewa).
     
    Example:
     
    Lewa: Heyguys weneed toget outof here!!
    Kopaka: omg u talk funny
    Lewa: I drink radioooactiv-citrus juice (az seen on TV lol well not ur tv cuz u guys not get my weirdo-89 station, gota luv da classics!! XD)
    Kopaka: ...................
     
     
    -Your standard leader, who nobody respects, likes, or obeys, but everyone still calls the leader anyway. Always has a quick temper and will blow anyone up instantaneously. Common targets are Tahu, Toa Olda of Fire, and Bionicle Set 8534.
     
    Example:
     
    Tahu: We need to beat da bad guzyz!
    Pohatu: GANGAZTA
    Tahu: Folow me!
    Kopaka: omg no i hateyou1
    Tahu: WHAT?!!?!?!? :burnfire: :urnfire: :burnfire:
    Kopaka: i mean uhhhhhh lets goz!
     
     
    -Your standard nobody. This is the guy that doesn't really do anything, but is there anyway because people like the number six. Doesn't have any personality. Common Targets are Onua. Yeah...basically Onua.
     
    Example:
     
    Tahu: Follow me!1
    Kopaka: i sAve u!
    GAli: Gravitashional forczE!
    Pohatu: coookee!11
    Lewa: Afteri finishmy bugsandwich11
    Onua: Okay.
     
     

    It's important to find a joke to stick with. If the audience laughs once, they'll laugh forever. When in doubt, use food. Food is good. Pie, cookies, anything that can be sued for obesity. The bigger a joke is physically, the funnier. And don't forget the exclamation points.  
    Example:
     
    Not funny -> Pohatu: heh i like bath towels
    Kinda funny -> Pohatu: I liek cheese
    Funny -> Pohatu: I LIEK CHEEZ
    XDlarious -> Pohatu: OMG I LUV CHEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     

    The appearance of celebrity brings in interest.  
    Example:
     
    Narrator: All of a sudden, Chuck Norris appeared!
    Chuck Norris: ROUNDHOUSE KICK the BLACK HOLE
    Black Hole: OHHHHHHHHZ NOOOOOOOOOOO NOT CHUCK NORRIS WALKER TEXAS RANGER!!! I DIN'T EVEN GET UR OTTOGRAF!111
     

    And most of all, you need to make sure you have a good ending to each chapter.  
    Example:
     
    Not funny -> The End
    Not funny -> To Be Continued
    Kinda funny -> TO BE CONTINUED!!!
    Funny -> WILL OUR HEROES ESCAPE WITH THEIR CHEESE?!!?!?
    ROTFLZ -> WILL OUR HEROES ESCAPE?! WILL GALI EVER GET PAST THE 50TH DIGIT OF PI?! AND MOST IMPORTANT, WHO'S PAYING ME TO DO THESE?!
     
     
    All-in-all, I hope you feel enlightened in how to be funny now. Otherwise, your comedy's gonna stink. Anyway...
     
     
    WILL DOC POST ANOTHER ENTRY WITHIN THE NEXT FEW DAYS?!?!
    WILL THERE BE PEOPLE TO COMMENT?!?!?!?!?!!
    AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHERE THE HECK DOES HE GET OFF THINKING ANY OF THIS IS FUNNY?!?!
     
    Doc: Hey'!!! It's funny!!
    Narrator: yeah well i da narrator and i say it's NOT!
    Doc: OH YEAH?!?!?
    Narrator: YEAH!!!
    Doc: OH I SHOW YOU!!
    Narrator: AAAAAAA! MY SPLEENPANCREAS!11
    Doc: Good night folks! Pay no attention to the man bleeding on the floor!
    Narrator: AAAAAAAAaaa, MY OTHER SPLEENPANCREAS!!!!11111
     
     
    Ridiculously,
    Dr. Bionicle
     
     
    Pohatu: PIE~!111Z
  14. Dr. Bionicle

    Resemblances

    By Dr. Bionicle,

    This subject fascinated me, just as a whole, because I didn't realize quite how many people see me in different ways.
     
    I'm sure that at least once in your life, someone's gone up to you and said "Hey, you look like so-and-so!". Man, I tell ya, I've gotten that a lot from a lot of different people. It got to the point where I actually kept a mental list of who I resembled, and eventually, it compelled me to post this.
     
    You think everyone sees you the same way? Well, take a look at this list of resemblances to one person and let's see what you think...

    Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe). This one I expected. For the longest time, I had glasses and dark mushroom-cut hair. My resemblance to HP isn't nearly so obvious, but people who called me that in the earlier years still call me that, and now with HP's hair shorter, I look a little bit like him still.
    Peter Parker (Tobey MacGuire). This one totally caught me off-guard, but all the girls tell me I look like Tobey MacGuire. Apparently, it's something about my eyes and how I compose myself. Watching the Spider-man movie, I see some slight resemblances, but nothing significant. And of course, none of the guys see where the heck that's coming from.
    Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen). Once again, a girls resemblance. They tell me that I have a face built like his, although my eyes and expressions are different. I lost any and all resemblance to him in the third episode, but I can sort of see it in Episode II.
    Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). It's the eyes and expression. I dunno, but something in my face reminds some of the guys of Captain Jack.
    My Grandfather. I tell you, I step into any old folks place that knew my Grandpa when he was youngish, they tell me I'm a spitting image.
    Paul McCartney. My friend, Ian, who's a huge Beatles fan said he first talked to me because I looked like Mr. McCartney. I see a tad of resemblance in the face, but the hair and expression totally throws me off.
    Jim Carrey. Whenever I make a weird expression and stretch my face the right way, people see some sort of twisted resemblance of this guy. I dunno, I've only gotten this a few times, but it's always the same face.
    Tim Allen. Something about my jaw and cheeks bear a resemblance to Mr. Allen, apparently. I don't remember who told me this, but I remember staring at myself in the mirror for a good five minutes afterward.
    Steven Curtis Chapman. When I'm relaxed and around some of the adults of my church, they comment that I look like Mr. Chapman. I see some resemblance, more than most other comparisons, but not one I'd expect moms to point out.
    TobyMac. This probably surprised more than any, but the way I look at people sometimes reminds them of TobyMac music videos. *shrug*
    The Emperor. Yeah, I'm still pretty sure this was a joke... At least, I'm pretty sure...  
    It's remarkable what different aspects of your physical appearance people will take note of. Eyes, hair, facial expression, even noses. People just look at you the way that feels natural to them, and they get some weird resemblances that way. Since they probably looked at that same aspect of one person, when they find a similarity, it jumps right out at them.
     
    Personally, I think it's funny. My friends have lists, but they have more like three or four. Apparently, I'm either so generic that I look like everyone or so unique that I only look like certain people.
     
    Anyway, I thought it was interesting. I guess that makes me Emperor Dr. Captain Tim-Jim-Harry-Toby-Bill McSkypottter.
     
     
    Uniquely,
    Dr. Bionicle
  15. Dr. Bionicle
    Press conference going on in Ga-Metru with Mythias and Zyrul.
     
    If any of you want to take this opportunity to ask the duo questions, you can submit some questions here, and I'll see if I can work it into the Q Session (unless I can simply answer them here). Any questions I can't answer in the conference I will try to answer or at least hint at here in my blog.
     
    Seriously, anything. Doesn't matter if it's conference-appropriate or not. Questions about The Academy's future, past, present, whatever.
     
    And if any of you feel like crashing the conference, well...
     
    Readily,
    Dr. Bionicle
  16. Dr. Bionicle
    Just for all your information, this week, till Sunday, I'm going to be away at Band Camp generally from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM Central Time, and then later I'm usually gone a few hours for an evening activity.
     
    That being said, if you have an urgent request or report or whatever, and can send it to someone else that you can guess is more active than this, then please do. I will be home for maybe two hours every day and in the morning, but how much time will be spent on BZPower there is unknown.
     
    So, yeah, just for information.
     
    Viva La Band Camp!
     
    Geekily,
    Dr. Bionicle
  17. Dr. Bionicle
    Yeah, so I forgot to post here in my birthday topic. Nothing snooty, just totally forgot for some reason. So to all you cool people who took some time out of your day to wish me a happy birthday, thanks!
     
    This birthday was exponentially more amazing than most others I've ever had.
     
    Saturday had a bash at my house with a bunch of my closest friends. For those of you who remember my study in the Complex of 8th Grade Males, I must say that Freshmen Males aren't a lot better. I have learned, however, that when females are present, the OML (those of you who are good little blog-readers will remember that stands for "Overall Maturity Level") is in fair moderation of itself.
     
    Highlights...

    P-Cart (whose real name is Patrick, but no one calls him that) succeeded in drinking 7-8 Dr. Peppers and was deemed unsafe for driving home (Ha ha, yes, we Kansans can get our permits when we're 14). I succeeded in hitting Nolan in the face with a plastic sword (total accident, I swear). He just said, "Toss me the weapon!" How was I supposed to know he meant handle-first and how was I supposed to know he would bend down that suddenly? I'm still the champion of BopIt Xtreme with a score of fweeoo, kahhn, bah! bah! bah! (for those of you not fluent in the BopIt dialect, that's 113). I succeeded in being appetizing, magical, neat, and delicious in Apples to Apples. Ian managed to kick the chips and onion dip onto the floor within the first ten minutes of the party, the likes of which had to be picked up by the entire group so that one birthday boy would be allowed to live to see his 15th birthday. I finally managed to beat out Nolan in piano jamming by getting an overwhelming chorus of the guys to sing "Somebody to Love" by Queen. It was pretty awesome, even though our upright stinks like geese. I also got the opportunity to jam on my brother's electric guitar, which sounded pretty awesome hooked up to the distortion channel. My spoils include a high school shirt (which I learned on Monday is pretty tight on me, but which I wore anyway since Liesel, my girlfriend, gave it to me and I was going to see her at choir that day), a subscription to Breakaway magazine, $15 iTunes card, $45 worth of Target giftcards, Hahli Mahri (a tribute from Alan for our LEGO nerdity), a mixed CD of some of the best horn ensembles ever (one of which is "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen, which sounds amazing), $15 giftcard for my favorite local fast food place, and Skillet's album "Comatose" (<3<3<3<3<3<3).  
    Saturday was pretty awesome. I fell asleep listening to Comatose (one of my favorite albums ever, now). Then came Sunday, my real birthday.
     
    There are far too many highlights to list here, but what I really got excited about were my spoils, which are worthy of a list themselves...

    The Bourne Identity and Supremacy (Matt Damon + Robert Ludlum = FTW) Stranger Than Fiction (one of my favorite movies ever, basically) Relient K's "Five Score & Seven Years Ago" (great album) Deas Vail's "All the Houses Look the Same" (I got this from my sister's boyfriend, who I consider a close bud, and I must say that I'm growing to like the band) Pants (there's a whole inside joke behind this that I don't care to explain now for ya'lls sakes) Transformers shirt (which, ironically, my sister thought was a Bionicle shirt) Hard Rock Cafe shirt ( ) Charleston Chews (if you don't know what those are, get some... best candy ever) Jaller Mahri (if you're doubting buying him, don't... he's the bomb) Guitar Capo The list doesn't end there, but the next gift I got is pretty sweet, so I figured it deserved its own paragraph.
     
    In my family, it's basically a sign of manhood (or adulthood) to get your own guitar. Emma got a Washburn, Caroline got a JetKing, and for whatever reason, Drew got a little Fender. After I started learning guitar last year, I've been playing the life out of Emma's Washburn, so I guess they figured it was time I got my own guitar.
     
    Yeah, I got a Ventura from the '70s, never been played.
     
    And it's pretty sweet.
     
    Sorry, I couldn't find a decent picture of the kind I got. It plays like a beauty, though, and I finally have a guitar of my own. So, whoo.
     
    There's really nothing else left to be said, other than it feels awesome to be 15.
     
    Whoo!ly,
    Dr. Bionicle
  18. Dr. Bionicle
    We Are One Tonight - Switchfoot
     
    While you indulge yourself in the absolutely amazing musical aspects of that song, I'm going to basically break down this whole song into how I interpret it. I like songs that make a point, but the point is fairly (note, not completely, fairly) interpretable.
     
    Take a song like American Pie. That's such an insanely out there song that no one except the writer knows what it really means. It's one of those songs where it can be whatever you want it to be, and while I love American Pie, I gotta say that this stuff really just sounds like a cheap shot.
     
    I'm not a huge fan of writing music for yourself. I mean, it's fine to write a song about something only you would understand and just keep it in, but then to place that on an album for a whole population to muse over...
     
    I've got nothing against creative thinking or interpretation. But I think that songs need to drive a point. I'd say, from what I know, about half of people like songs for the music, and half for the lyrics. I am very flexible on these two aspects. While Gone by TobyMac is a great song musically, I don't understand the lyrics at all. At the same time, I think The Only Thing Worse Than Beating a Dead Horse Is Riding One is lacking musically, but the lyrics I like. Therefore I like both songs, but for totally different reasons.
     
    What I love is that one song where the lyrics and the music lock. I'd classify this as one of those songs.
     
    I have definitely been in an area where I've felt all alone. I suffered from a few problems my 6th Grade year due to the fact that I converted from homeschooling to public schooling in that year. It was a terrible experience for me, with hardly any friends, and only one, I'd say, good friend.
     
    6th Grade was a nightmare for me. I learned things that I never had to confront in homeschooling. I'm not going to say I regret homeschooling, because it excelled me academically and in discipline, but it was still a terrible experience.
     
    Then 7th Grade, redemption year for me, came. The first kid I met was in my band class. He tripped over my case, and the teacher made him sit next to me since he was taking such a long time getting across the room. Ironically enough, he turned out being my best friend throughout most of 7th Grade and still remains my best now.
     
    A few days ago, I was staying at his house overnight, and you know, it's 2 AM and we're still talking, and we get onto the subject of 6th Grade. And he says to me, "Well, yeah, I really didn't have any friends in 6th Grade. I felt like a total loser."
     
    And I'm just thinking, wow. It's one thing to know that other people have the same problem as you, but to know someone that had the same problem is a whole other thing.
     
    At the same time, I was talking with this girl who had moved from my city to Wisconsin over the summer and was having a rough time with her friends. Her friend had gone behind her back with her boyfriend and all these things that nobody her age (or at any age) should have to go through. And remarkably enough, I had a friend with a very similar problem to hers a few months ago.
     
    It's interesting as a spectator to make comparisons. If you ever get the chance, talk to your friends about little bumps you had in your life that you feel comfortable about. I'll bet you that at least one of those you've shared at one point in your life. It's not so much "What's your favorite color" and "I like football too" that makes good friends, but similarities in trials and hard times.
     
    A whole bunch of other more minor things have occurred in a similar fashion to the two things mentioned above.
     
    Interestingly enough, I stumbled across the song you are/were/didn't care to listen to on my sister's mp3 player. And my mind's flashing back to all this stuff. And the concept's just hits me.
     
    To think that we are one tonight and we're dreamin' out loud, thinking about what we wish could be, all of us some how or another. And that whole concept that everyone goes through something tough, not just you, and that everyone feels pain.
     
    I don't know, I'm sorry if any of this sounds absolutely ridiculous and you've completely lost me through this whole thing. Sweet-action music has a way of doing that to your mind.
     
    But anyway, if you got nothing else out of this, just know that if you're going through a hard time that someone out there has done the same thing. We've all been through hard times and want to persevere, and you're not alone in wanting to push through your problem.
     
    Or, at least, a cool song.
     
     
    Interpretably,
    Dr. Bionicle
  19. Dr. Bionicle
    Inspired by Wysp. This is the satirical aspect, and I'm considering posting a serious one in a later blog entry. But for now, I'm going to make fun of the environment I so greatly enjoy.
     
    Now, many of you browse the RPG Forum, and want to post, but you just don't know how. How do you appeal to someone? How do you fight properly? How do you start a group? All pressing questions, all answered here! Good citizens of BionicleRPGForumville, I'm here to show you How To Be A Good RPer! Being much more extensive than my other How To's, this will be done in segments. First, let's work on...
     
    ~Character Creation~
     

    When creating a character, it is vital to come up with a great name, because honestly, who wants to save the world with a partner whose name is Fattythums? When choosing name, there are a few things to consider.  
    -Description of your character. Why not let those who don't know you in on what your character is like through your name? Look at LEGO. Axonn carries an ax. Brutaka is brutal. Roodaka is rude. Makuta is koola' than you. Let's go through a few examples on what gives the right impression and what gives the wrong impression.
    Examples:
     
    Bumbsi: Gives the impression of an obese, clumsy Bambi.
    Froopers: "Toa of Breakfast Cereals" comes to mind.
    Johnlennoneria: This is Bionicle, not Great Britain!
    Guud: Getting there...not bad...
    Awesum: Awesome.
    Superpoweredturbonia: Oh, we're cookin' now!
     
     
    -Easy to remember. Names like Tahu have no pattern and are difficult to remember. However, try a name like Qpalzmwoskxn. It's a simple pattern of going to the left of the keyboard, to the right, down, left, right, down, until you reach the third column in which you switch back to the right again. Easy, huh?
     
    -Cool letters. There are reasons why you don't see Bobs in the Bionicle universe. Take virtually any name and throw in a cool letter. Cool letters include Z, K, X, V, and Q. Let's take a simple name and make some changes. You might find this hard at first, but there's one simple philosophy that LEGO and RPers everywhere have been following for years. When in doubt, USE THE K.
    Example:
     
    Not cool -> Lenny
    Kinda cool -> Lenky
    Mostly cool -> Lekky
    Cool -> Lekkk
    Awesome -> Lkkkk
    OMG -> Kkkkk
     
    -A cool tagline. Now, while Kkkkk (Oh, man) is an awesome name in and of itself, it does get a little boring to just be yelling "Kkkkk!" all the time. So let's add a cool tag.
    Example:
     
    Okay -> Kkkkk
    Good -> Toa Kkkkk
    Great -> Supreme Toa Kkkkk
    Awesome -> Supreme Toa Kkkkk Master of All
    WHOA, NELLY -> Mr. Supreme Toa Kkkkk Master of All
     

    Next, you need to focus on your species. Nowadays, everybody wants to be a Toa or a Matoran. Don't take any of that unoriginal conformism. Be original! For the originality-impaired, however, there is what we call subtle plagiarism borrowing. Simply take a species and change the name and aspects to your liking. Example:
     
    Gross -> Fire Toa: Red and orange, humanoid, powers of fire, about 6-foot.
    Hmm... -> Firetoa: Red and turquoise, humanoidish, powers of fire, about 6-foot.
    Getting there -> Eriftoa: Turqoise and plaid, ape-like, powers of combustion, about 6-foot 5.
    Almost -> Erifto: Turqoise and plaid, reptillian ape, powers of combustion engines, about 7-foot.
    Sweet -> Eriftoz: Plaid, reptillian ape with wings, powers of nuclear weapons, 20 feet tall.
     

    Once that's done, you need to figure out the full extent of your powers. You don't want to go out there looking like a weakling? You aren't going to let those bigshots with their own guilds and organizations trample you! Nope. You want to come out looking like a football star...only with superpowers and stuff. Example:
     
    Meh -> Power of fire
    Hm -> Power of heat
    Close -> Power of light
    Yeah! -> Power of lightsabers
     

    With that done, you need to write your biography. Of course, you need to give your character a complex history. If you don't, nobody's going to bother with him. Make sure it's as deep, twisted, and complicated as possible. Example: Kkkkk was born and raised in Utahia on the island of USA-Nui, where he got super powers from a crystal of amazing energy. He went to Metru Nui and changed his name to Mr. Supreme Eriftoz Kkkkk Master of All, and now goes around killing everything.
     
    There you have it! A perfect profile!
     
    Come back next time for the next installment:
     
    How to Write a Good RP Post!
     
     
    Satirically,
    Dr. Bionicle
  21. Dr. Bionicle
    Musical Stimulus - Lonely Nation by Switchfoot.
     
    Some of the things I say here may be frightening, so I would not recommend that those who are easily scared, especially little kids, read this. This is a serious, scary issue.
     
    As I'm sure most of you are aware, there was a tragedy that occurred on the campus of Virginia Tech University. A single gunman killed, I believe the number was thirty-two, people in a single shooting.
     
    The media, of course, has been all over the stories. Some stations are more rash than others, and certain controversies spring up. I heard over a radio talk show yesterday over the issue of NBC playing a video of the shooter's rants. Other stations have said that they will not play the video or pictures of the incident or its relations.
     
    It's no doubt that this is one of those incidents where America is taken into shock.
     
    I'd like to say first and foremost that my heart goes out to every victim, their family and friends, and also the parents of the gunman. The case of victims are simply horrifying and a sad day in American history. I hope for strength in the family and friends of these victims, in their sudden loss of someone they care and love. And I especially would like to give my heart out to the parents of this gunman, who have to now live with this burden that their son has left them.
     
    I am no cynic about this situation, as there are literal tears in my eyes as I write this.
     
    So often we watch the news and look at the terror going on in the world. We will tolerantly ignore the fact that five people died in a car bomb, and we will usually overlook any personal murder of some sort. Unfortunately, we live in a society where we put up filters of indifference to this sort of thing.
     
    My guess is that there were probably around thirty-two people across the country that died of murder the day of the Virginia Tech Shooting, and those are so commonly overlooked. It's when these huge, massive events happen (like Hurricane Katrina) where you just see the pain and the sadness.
     
    We get a realization of how unsafe the world is and how unpredictable our lives are. Not a single one of the victims at that school was expecting to die. You wouldn't pick up their PDAs or day planners and see in there "10-11:30 AM - Die". No.
     
    Freshman were going to classes. Professors were ready to give lectures. Students were preparing themselves to take notes. Janitors were expecting to clean the campus like any other day. It was a perfectly normal day. Then...
     
    Bang.
     
    The whole world of that entire campus turned upside down in one day.
     
    There is no word better than horror to describe the thought of being an innocent victim of one of these attacks. To play no important part in someone else's life and then be shot by them. The fear of walking in the hallways of your school and imagining the kid at the water fountain pulling out a gun or the freshman at his locker withdrawing a knife. And we aren't aware of that. We all just assume that happens to somebody else.
     
    But we're all somebody else...to someone else.
     
    Believe me, I'm not trying to scare anyone here. I'm not trying to puff up this whole idea and making it into some horror story it isn't. The problem is, it already is a horror story. And it scares the heck out of all of us that it actually happened.
     
    There are things to be learned, and sometimes we can only learn from these terrible events. What you take from these events is your own business.
     
    My personal thoughts are that Life is temporary, and we need to make the most of it to us and those around us. You need to hang onto what you have, stick to what you believe, and live.
     
    A whole nation united in mourning under one tragedy.
     
    But...we'll soon forget about this as an earth-shattering event. It will be a historic tragedy...something that doesn't affect us anymore.
     
    The families and friends of these victims and the parents of the gunman will always have this issue, and for that I truly am saddened.
     
    Eventually, we'll drift back to our normal lives. We won't think about it anymore. It won't spring into our minds. And we'll feel secure...till the next tragedy.
     
    Desparate, we are young.
     
    Separate, we are one.
     
    I want more than my desperation.
     
    I want more than my lonely nation.
     
     
    Sorrowfully,
    Dr. Bionicle
  22. Dr. Bionicle

    Writing Fever!

    By Dr. Bionicle,

    For all of you hoping to make the "Oh no! The DOCTOR (OMG) has a fever! LOLXD", I beat you. So ha.
     
    Anyway, it's a weird feeling. When you're an aspiring writer and you've been working on a novel for a solid year, it's interesting to wake up one day, pull out your finished work, and then realize that you didn't enjoy reading any of it.
     
    Yes, for those of you that have keen memories, I'm talking about Cyborne, a novel I started some time back in early August, 2006. The original premise was that the government had randomly called in citizens to be turned into cyborgs (It's already shaping up to be something, isn't it?) and then some random guy comes forward and says it's all a conspiracy. So then this guy and his crew go infiltrate some labs to find some information. Somewhere along the lines, they get super powers. Then they bust in on this conspirators meeting. The main character's girlfriend ends up getting killed, as does his arch-nemesis, and then he goes and kills all the world leaders. It finally ends with the main character realizing that his leader is his father, and then declares a civil war. And then there was supposed to be a sequel.
     
    Even better? It's all told in FIRST PERSON.
     
    So yes, as you can imagine, that didn't flow to well with me now. So for the past few weeks, I've spent long nights trying to re-write this thing. I try writing out the girlfriend and putting the main character's brother in her place. I try to expand on the main character's childhood. I try everything my little writer's brain can come up with.
     
    Then suddenly, it dons on me.
     
    I don't need a new manuscript. I need a new plot.
     
    So I spent a few more long nights brainstorming some changes. At last, I came up with this.
     
    This is going to be a long synopsis, so be warned. It's not completely done yet. I haven't even gotten to the outlining stage at this point, but I will be starting at some point within the week. At this rate, I may be able to start writing within a few weeks.
     
     
    =Cyborne=
     
     
    The year is 3321. In the state of Delaware, an offer is extended to all hospital patients in the area: a government test program that could completely renew the physical being of any patient, from the terminal elderly to the minor youth, in a single operation. The program was widely accepted by a majority of the hospital patients, and the positive results suddenly bring in others grasping for the program. Cities, states, countries demand the installation of these operation programs in their area!
     
    They never told us there’d be a catch.
     
    The program is a simple one. Remove the faulty body components and replace them with sturdy robotics. The result?
     
    Cyborne.
     
    Even with this vast medical revelation, there were those who resisted the Cyborne. While they may have been healed, the robotic hybrids still have to bear their newfound appearance, one that drives a world to divide in prejudice. Connection programs are initiated by the government, but no sooner are these founded than a terrible tragedy occurs.
     
    Malfunction. Spontaneous Cyborne suddenly begin to terrorize the Humans, from massive mobs to single rogues. Around the world, all at once, various Cyborne seem to break out in mindless violence.
     
    The government cannot simply reverse this or pretend it didn't happen. The masses are in an uproar. The US Government has no choice but to issue the Cyborne Termination Grant. This grant allows and encourages any Human to kill any and all Cyborne they may encounter as a matter of national safety. All Cyborne operations are ceased. Following America's lead, other countries begin to instigate the same grant. The Cyborne are no longer a race. They're targets.
     
    And so begins an international civil war, with the races of Humans and Cyborne split. The Humans fight for their own safety, while the Cyborne retaliate as their means of survival.
     
    One particular renegade among the Cyborne steps up and makes a wild declaration. He claims that the government had planned out everything. From the operations to the war. He claims that this whole scheme was an international conspiracy to eliminate a portion of the human population for whatever reason. He even goes so far to say that the Cyborne malfunctions were planned.
     
    Naturally, he quickly scales the list of the world's most wanted men, and surrounds himself with an entourage of Cyborne rebels:
     
    -Drake Jasper. A British mercenary that steps out of his occupation to join the entourage for personal purposes. He hopes to avenge his wife, who was killed in the Malfunction Massacre, by exposing the conspiracy that killed her.
     
    -Jack Corby. An American millionare who was knocked off his economic pedestal by the Termination Grant. Now he hopes to regain his power in whatever way he can.
     
    -John Ratterson. A German scientist that believes the Cyborne to be only one step into a technical revolution that could change the world. He finds the termination of said race to be an offense to the field of science and technology. He hopes to continue the technical revolution by saving his race of Cyborne from certain death.
     
    -Michael Falkan. A man that answers to no country, but has a long history of abuse from Cyborne prejudice. His dark memories fuel his motivation in joining the uprising. However, he doesn't think they should stop at exposing the conspiracy. He wishes to destroy its conspirators.
     
    -Mark Caspian. A confused, young American that stands with the entourage on his unstable set of moral values. His purpose is to discover the truth, and he feels he is ready to face whatever obstacles might come along with that.
     
    -Mr. Q. A man with no name and no country, he is the leader who first proposed the conspiracy theory. No one is quite sure what his plans entail, but he's the only man radical enough to pursue such a theory.
     
    With his motley crew, Q seeks to infiltrate the highest levels of government security and bring about a revolution that will put a permanent end to the Cyborne Termination Grant. But even Mr. Q's intentions may not be so valiant as they seem. With the rest of the world pitted against them, the six radicals have to fight their way through a web of destruction and deceit in order to find what they seek.
     
    The secret of the Cyborne.
     
     
    So yeah. Dun dun duhhh and all that malarky.
     
    Comments, feedback, whatever. I'd love to hear it. Any suggestions you may have would be warmly accepted.
     
    Feverishly,
    Dr. Bionicle
  23. Dr. Bionicle
    Okay, not really.
     
    But on attempting to access Brickshelf today, I found this message...
     

     
    Whoa, mama.
     
    For those of you that don't realize the cataclysmic effects of this, with Brickshelf discontinued, that makes everything that has ever been uploaded to Brickshelf no longer accessible through that site. That includes BBC Contest winners, Artwork Contest winners, avatars, banners, comics, the whole kickin' cabootle.
     
    Yes, Maj is still up and available. I'm guessing that Brickshelf was discontinued so that Maj could stay up. Why? We do not yet have any reasons behind this sudden occurrence. Theories have been going around, but nothing is confirmed yet.
     
    So what do we do now that one of our most-used image hosts is gone, probably for good?
     
    Any way you can salvage images, screen shots you have, stuff you have on your drive, whatever, get it on Maj. Any images you may have lost on Brickshelf you should upload to Maj or another image hosting service to replace it.
     
    If you're a victim of lost work and want to avoid something like this from happening in the future, you can put a back-up of your files onto a nifty flash drive or simply keep them in your documents.
     
    PLEASE, do not take this as an excuse to totally lose your cool and flame Brickshelf. Right now, this is just an issue a majority of us will have to face. Brickshelf is gone, and we all have to accept that.
     
     
    ly,
    Dr. Bionicle
  24. Dr. Bionicle

    Rawr!

    By Dr. Bionicle,

    Never underestimate the power of small cats with captions. This image actually provoked Beans (one of my two cats) to jump on my desk and start hissing and scratching at the monitor. Finding her target unfazed, she quickly retreated to my closet, where she decided to claw up on a few of my t-shirts.
     
    Ahhh, yes, the pleasure of owning cats...
     
    Rawringly,
    Dr. Bionicle
  25. Dr. Bionicle

    Same Ol' Doc...

    By Dr. Bionicle,

    You know, I've always wondered exactly how much I've impact I've left on BZP. In my first year here, I was all about leaving my mark. I was anxious to make friends, create things, get involved, all that. Now, I guess, I feel my mark has been pretty well left. I placed in the first three RPG Contests, participated in Master of Bionicle, got promoted to Forum Assistant, and became a BZPRPG co-host.
     
    So yeah, it seems like I've put a few memories here, right? It seems pretty reasonable. I mean, I still come around daily. I post entries in my blog and make some posts. Check on everything. Close topics. And then I get off.
     
    I realized only recently, in light of an absolutely spectacular day, that I've lost sight of my real reason for coming to BZPower. It seems now that I'm surrounded by obligations here that keep me coming back. Signature reports, topics to close, the BZPRPG, Chaos in the Deep, etc. It has been so long since I've gotten on BZP simply for the sake of getting on BZP and having some fun.
     
    I think it really started with my Staff promotion. While being on Staff is great, since I'm able to help the site run more smoothly, and this is far from any sort of resignation, it has brought about obligations. Now I was getting on BZPower because a report told me to, not because I wanted to see what was hot in discussion or what art had been posted while I was gone. The Academy had been a subtle obligation, but not nearly so much because it was something I greatly enjoyed doing. With BZPRPG and more work to be done, I felt more obligation. Frankly, I didn't want to go to the RPG Forum to have a good time RPing, but because I had to straighten something out between members. Obligations, obligations, obligations.
     
    Recently, I've been rediscovering BZPower. While it's nothing profound (it is a kid's site after all), I've found out the reasons I grew to really like this community in the first place. The members here are great, the Staff does a fantastic job, and there's an endless pool of discussion and talent here. BZPower isn't just an obligation. It's a fun place to be. I had forgotten about that.
     
    What I'm trying to get across is that right now, I'm really not interested so much in being like an "employee" here. I mean, while I am Staff and I realize the responsibility that comes with that, I don't see why I shouldn't think of myself as any other member here. There are members here that come here just to have a dang good time and chill with people who share their interests. And isn't that what I want to do?
     
    So I figure right now, forget all that stuff that gets tacked on. While I may take on those responsibilities and take them seriously, I can't help but wonder why I can't just be Dr. Bionicle.
     
    In all honesty, that is who I am here.
     
    Not Doc the FA. Not Doc the co-host.
     
    Just Doc.
     
    And that's all I've really got to say.
     
     
    Just for fun,
    Dr. Bionicle
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