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Blog Entries posted by Nikira

  1. Nikira
    Ran, two for you.
    Andi? FOUR for you, Andi Grrl. You go, Andi Grrl!
    And uh... Darth Vader, do we have a Darth Vader here?
    *distant voice from the back* It's DeeVee!
    Oh DeeVee, here you go, one for you...
    And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.

    Minor edit because I didn't know Ran's name but now I do! Fixed.
  2. Nikira
    Because it's a beautiful album and it took me years to realize it.
    Hey you! out there on the road
    Always doing what you're told, can you help me
    Hey you! out there beyond the wall
    Breaking bottles in the hall, can you help me
    Hey you! don't tell me there's no hope at all
    Together we stand, divided we fall.
  3. Nikira
    Sup, BZP. /o/
    I thought nostalgically of you today, so I thought I would stop by to say hello. I hope you've taken advantage of your summers! (:
    We're having issues at home - the breadwinner had to resign earlier this summer. We are drifting in the land of unemployment and uncertainty and are looking at moving. It really is a bunch of question marks. But we will make it through okay.
    Also, for those that knew my sister - her one-year anniversary was a couple days ago. She's all moved out and out-of-state and enjoying life with her husband. It's crazy!
    I don't know; my summer's been kind of boring, hahah.
    But hey, how are you all? IIRC Brickfair was this weekend - I hope you all had fun. Tell me your summer adventures and the songs of your hearts! Or just what song is stuck in your heads. Whatever works! o7
    pssssssst killer queen has been stuck in my head for a week
  4. Nikira
    I am never going to get used to writing that. OTL
    But uh, okay, since I know there are other aspies wandering around the blogs: Are you able to feel when you're getting overstimulated? And what do you do to get yourself calmed down again?
    I get very, very irritable and upset, kind of like the feeling you get if someone pokes you with a stick and doesn't listen when you tell them to stop. I just haven't found good ways to get myself back to a calm state. So I'd like to hear what other people do.
  5. Nikira
    So I have been bedridden for like three days now because of medicine complications.
    And then I get this card dropped into my lap this afternoon.
    Naturally in my drug-induced-state I completely forget to look at the return address and just open it.
    It's got lots and lots of glitter and a lacy dove with big googley eyes on it.
    First thought:
    "Oh dear god it's gotta be from HH and Janus"
    (spoilers: I was right)
    A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, guys. \o\ \o/ /o/ I got Professor Layton and frosted animal crackers and my own cane! You bet I'm happy.
  6. Nikira
    The world is not beautiful, but that in itself leads to its own sort of beauty.
    Humans are far from perfect and shall always do as humans do, but in their own ways to deny, defy, or even reach for their own perfection, they shine as the phenomenal creatures they really are. To embrace both strengths and faults as just things that are.
    I think that's a pretty beautiful thing.
    Life has been difficult right now. It hurts. It's hard. One might say it's been ugly from time to time.
    But you know, I'd rather it be ugly for the time being. That just means there's something ready to shine underneath.
    It just needs time.
    Then we can see something beautiful again.
  7. Nikira
    Celebrating my holiday with a diagnosis of Asperger's and General Anxiety Disorder. I start social therapy on Monday.
    But I am just thankful to have a name for things. Not gonna lie.
    Happy Thanksgiving, BZP. Hope you find something to be thankful for, too. <3
  8. Nikira
    Two blog entries in a month?
    But anyways.
    So this time next week I will apparently (hopefully) have a diagnosis of either Asperger's syndrome or PDD-NOS (atypical autism) along with an anxiety disorder that I can never catch the proper name of. This has been 3 and a half months of doctor visits and like years of awkward and mistakes and horribleness in the making and I am still not sure how to feel about it.
    I mean, being autistic on any level doesn't change who I am or anything. I'm still me. But it's like... a question on everyone's mind of "why didn't we really take care of this sooner?" My sister especially. She worries about me often.
    But yeah, that has been on my mind for a while. I am a boat floating forever on a sea of uncertainties and flaily useless panic. Glub.
    (This has been a totally quality blog entry of worrying from Nik, you guys can move on now.)
  9. Nikira
    It is currently my 22nd birthday.
    We have a president and I am so okay with that.
    Maryland did some lovely things.
    I finally have a bass guitar in my hands for the first time in almost 2 years, Ibanez left-handed 3/4, and I am playing Day Tripper like it was only yesterday.
    Life is pretty okay right now, guys. <3
  10. Nikira
    We're just getting the furthest tendrils of it here at home. Lots of wind - some of the gusts are already knocking power out and ripping shingles off of roofs. But it's not horrible.
    There's lots of family in Point Pleasant and Atlantic City (some of which we haven't had contact with) so we're glued to the phones and the weather reports especially with the eye of the storm over that part of NJ right now. So it is basically a super fun day today.
    East Coast members: bunker down and stay safe, you guys. o/
  11. Nikira
    Nik's summer, in condensed form:
    Lots of sleep
    Lots of rainbow cupcakes
    Lots of playing of the piano
    Got a new dog! Chocolate lab - he's a sweetie.
    There was a wedding in there somewhere as well. My sister looked gorgeous and she's very happy with her new husband.
    Had to drop my last semester of college, but I'm okay with that. My credits aren't going anywhere.
    Got screened for GAD and high-functioning Asperger's. And everyone proceeded to wonder why we didn't do this like 5 years ago. This is still a work in progress. (I was also screened for ADHD, which was ruled out - be proud of me, Becca, I actually bothered to ask!)
    Played way too much minigolf.
    Rewatched Legends of Metru Nui more times than I can count.

    I guess that final one is what made me roll back on here for a little bit, hah. Hi BZ, I missed yooooou. I also missed Vakama. But I think I missed you a little more than Vakama.
    *flops on everyone*
  12. Nikira
    Some little scout must have found something yummy in our kitchen, because we now have hundreds of ants swarming through all of our front windows both upstairs and downstairs.
    EEEEEW. >.<
    They're kinda cool to watch, though~ I can't really decide whether to be disgusted or just curious... XD
  13. Nikira
    Nice weather + How to Train Your Dragon + girl scout cookies + drawing + learning a new game + making new friends at my new job + my brother making me laugh a lot + my kitty = a good kind of night.
    Hopefully some decent sleep will actually happen tonight (I haven't had a restful night's sleep in months). That would make it an even better kind of night. ^.^
  14. Nikira
    Very tired, very sick, typing out lots and lots and LOTS of PMs (to the senders: please stop sending them... I'm getting to them as fast as I can and you all have gotten your point across >.<), have to plan out a whole bunch of projects, unpack my clothes and wash the smell of cigarette smoke out of them (our neighbor on vacation smoked a bajillion boxes a day and it came up through the vents), work on forms for school, dig out some medical equipment and maybe take a nap.
    Oh and I have to find the little insurance slip cause the post office mangled my shipment again... third time! Dx At least I got insurance for it this time but I can't find the little slip of paper anywhere...
    Oy... I just wanna sleep... >.<
  15. Nikira
    I have come to the conclusion that working on something at 2 a.m., no matter how important that something is, does nothing but wither out the back portions of your brain. Or at least your eye sockets. Then you wake up the next morning and look at what you did and you see all the mistakes or typos and hypothetically facepalm yourself a million times.
    At least that's what happens to me...? I make lots of mistakes in the earl morning. >.<
    Time for sleep, yes~
    Kitty and I wave goodnight. :3
    ...remind me to take a picture of the kitty sometime... XD
  16. Nikira
    So so so I FINALLY had the time to finish watching the first season of Code Geass.
    I love this show very much (it's such a strong story), but the last five episodes made me cry, and then there are plot twists and aaaaaaaaaah!
    Euphemia........ ;.;
    ARG I have to go find the second season somewhere. XDDD
  17. Nikira
    Getting ready to go to New York for the first time! x3
    I'M SO EXCITED. I wanna go see the giant ToysRUs. ;v;
    We're leaving tomorrow, only gonna be in NY for a few days and staying in another state the rest of the time to see family.
    Feeling a little sick, so hopefully I'll feel better as the week goes on. ^.^
  18. Nikira
    So those art projects? They were for an artist position on a Pokemon site!
    Even though I didn't do as well as I wanted, apparently I did good enough.
    :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:
    I'm so happy... ;v;
  19. Nikira
    Hi guys! *scribble scribble*
    Frantically trying to finish a few art projects that are due tomorrow evening on top of one that just got destroyed in the mail on the way to its owner. *scribble*
    But I've got oreos and milk. *nomnomnom*
    So the frantic just got a little less frantic and a little more sweet. ^.^
    I'll post the pictures if I live to tell the tale. I've got so much to get done!
  20. Nikira
    The house smells like roast and bread and cheese potatoes.
    It might be stressful and crazy and emotionally exhausting here otherwise, but I like it when the house smells of good food. ^^ I'll take endorphins when I can, even if they're coming from good food smells. XD;

  21. Nikira
    Life is hard sometimes.
    Sometimes life just means you give things up.
    And no one really enjoys giving things up.
    It's been raining like nuts today. It's really bitter and cold, and there is so much flooding.
    My sister and her beau came back from school to visit for break. I'm a little bitter that I have to give up my bedroom, but it's only for a week. Hopefully the sunshine will come back soon so I can go on walks and go play around in the park with my brother. The next week is just taking care of the house and lots of cleaning up after the college kids. It sucks.... but I will find time for fun.
    Looking at a couple jobs right now - one's on another website as a site artist and I'm also looking at part-time with a deli near where my father works. It's not much, but it's work, and I haven't had work in a long time.
    Anyways, have to get back to work - cleaning up the room right now.
    Question for you all: Is there anything you've had to give up? Temporarily, permanently, chasing a wild thought or planted with firm conviction that it's what you needed? I'd like to hear what people have gone through - life is melancholy for me right now.
  22. Nikira
    Ok, so the snow just finally melted away. It was so nice, you could see the grass and everything was fresh and you could walk outside without getting cold and miserable...
    WHY did snow magically come back overnight?
    I just want the snow to go hibernate somewhere warm so it'll all melt away and it can finally be spring. I want sunshine and flowers. ;____;

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