Cederak

hi.about the books 45$?and also can they be shipped to europe?

Bionicle from the perspective of Matoran has seldom kept my attention very long. Something about their general fragileness when faced with the world around them just doesn’t appeal to me much. I try not to let that sway me when I’m perusing the epics here, though, and I can safely say this is an excellent start to a story. I came across a few minor errors, but nothing that a few seconds of editing won’t fix.

that is happens when fire-spitters

Le-Koro to Ga-Koro was sothing

The Nui-Jaga’s eyed, staring right back

Thanks again for an excellent trade on the sets, Mask collector. Considering I have a topic of my own with the intention of selling off my Bionicle items (and all of my sets now gone), I don't expect to make any further transactions with you, but I would certainly trade with you again if the circumstances arose. -Ced

Regardless of what direction BZPower takes next, some group is going to be in the minority. Staying with Bionicle will continue to alienate fans of System lines and Hero Factory, while shifting gears will drive off a portion of members who are still here because they truly enjoy Bionicle and the legacy it carries. It isn't hard to see how that legacy was injured by the downtime. Storyline and Theories has slowed to a crawl, the Expanded Multiverse (and the 100 page PDF made for it) seems nearly nonexistent on the new forums (not helped by the fact that it was never ported over), and BBC and the Library (while somewhat active) have noticeably less material coming in. Looking at some of the things discussed in this topic, it may not be a matter of appealing to the audiences BZPower has always held as secondary or more, but maintaining the loyal fan base BZPower and Bionicle already have. That doesn't mean a massive overhaul, restructuring of the site, and meeting the demands of those members (as they've clearly stuck around with few changes over the last decade anyway), but it definitely wouldn't hurt. It's clear what we all want to see changed, and the barriers standing between us. So it all comes down to what (if any) action the staff plans to take regarding the changes we'd like to see. They are not oblivious to what BZPower has become, nor are they unaware of this topic. Despite what we may want, ultimately, any change to this site is in their hands.-Ced

I read a lot of stories and books, but it's rare to see one where the prologue details events that occur before the first chapter. That always seemed like a greater concept in video game narratives, which is not to say its a bad thing here. I was happily surprised to see it actually. This alternate Matoran Universe you have going certainly feels alive, although I stumbled upon a few errors that contracted from that sense of "magic" you had going.

tall toa wearing a silver breastplate

the islands entire eastern halfThe islands name - Siramircreatures ears perked up to look around.The grassy patches dotting the islands eastern halfrumored to have taken over Stelts underworld.

due too its unimportant location

her chance was almost lot,

as fast as she can,

two spear strikes into the chest and keep coming

Across his back was a large sheathe holding a large claymore.

stone rat terrorizing a matoran.

the later being the only excitement

threw him Bula berry,

would likely be vessel responsible

In the spirit of accuracy, your title misspells the word "gray" - unless you live in the UK. (GrAy - American, GrEy - European) I must say though, after looking at the brickshelf gallery you linked, some of those MOCs are very impressive. In particular, the Phantoms and your silver Rahkshi. But this is a story, so I won't draw out the set discussion too much. Instead, I took a moment to highlight some minor issues throughout your chapter. If you aren't already using MS Word or a similar program, I highly recommend it to all writers.

I be sure to tell you what I think, okay?”

thirty kio squard,

Mountain, which could be see

rectangle metallic door

he is surprisingly even-tempered

slight smile “just in case.”

be cleared away of snow.

Telescreen emerged.

from one another island.”

“sir, so you’re implying that

“It’s quiet possible, my brother,

“so you think they came out of there, sir,

“while there isn’t any evidence against that theory, there is nothing against it,

“so we’re goin’ down there today and see

a sad smile, “unfortunately, Kromahl

can be gather and/or

“and, just in case,

shouted “yes, sir!”

Wouldn’t that be wonderful to have that feeling again…

Everything could use some improvement, even our beloved forums here. As stated in this topic several times, though, the lengthy downtime decimated BZPower - perhaps permanently. That said, some restructuring seems in order. If BZPower were to "open the floodgates" to System lines and Hero Factory and such, some greater degree of activity could return. Of course, non-Bionicle topics should be kept in their sub-forums. If BZPower were to include other lines in the forums, however, it becomes a one-stop discussion forums for all things Lego. Set Discussion has already expanded to System and Hero Factory, and the Library and Creative Outlet are the same. If the Media and Digital sub-forums followed suit, those are new opportunities to bring in more activity.And then we come to the matter of CoT, what I have always considered the monster of BZPower. There's certainly an established order with CoT, but there's far more gray area than any other sub-forum. The only solution to CoT I ever considered felt both enlightened and insane at the same time: split it apart. A divided CoT would be easier for separate moderators to oversee, control, and maintain. Someone stated their CoT story was quickly pushed to later pages because of the activity in the sub-forum, but creating a CoT Library does not seem out of the question. The same could be said of other topics within. In a sense, CoT would be a larger monster, but one split into easily-governed spaces.This all contributes to an ultimate goal for Bionicle fans: More potential Bionicle fans. If we draw in activity through other conduits, searching the forums could very well pique their interest, and suddenly, we have a curious Lego fan reading up on Turaga Dume, Artahka, etc. and wanting to learn more. Even without an active story or any continued sets, Bionicle has maintained a cult following in us, and probably in others on other unknown sites.Anyway, that's my take on it. Oh, and one last, personal note regarding Premier Membership: It'd be really great if I could send my payment through money order like I used to. I recognize this is a topic designed for constructive criticisms of the site and not simple grievances, it's just something I'd like to see changed back.-Ced

As a rule, I try not to reply in review topics unless I have something valid to bring up. On occasion though, validity comes in a small package. And by that I mean, I really, really did not expect your ending to Chapter 18. I just wanted you to be aware of that. Excellent writing as always, and with Dimension Hoppers having two chapters left (and your posting frequency of one chapter per week), expect a more in-depth review in mid-January. -Ced

I had recently intended to renew my premier membership through a money order as I had done in the past. This topic informed me I could send "via postal service," but this news article informed me that BZPower is currently only accepting payment through PayPal. If there's no way for me to send in a money order to renew my premier membership, that's all I need to know. If a money order is a possibility, however, could I please get a link to the address I would be sending my money order to?-Ced

Beyond the set reviews I glance at here on BZPower, Hero Factory is an entirely foreign breed to me. That said, I don't have any connection to canon characters within the story, as compared to the characters you're making up. From what I've gathered, the premise revolves around a villainous entity trying to steal technology from the protagonists: the Hero Factory. Of course, like most villains, that's probably only part of a much larger plan to annihilate his enemies. The classic battle between good and evil goes a long way when done right, and I'd like to help you get there. That said, I want to let you know that MS Word or a similar program is an invaluable tool in editing your work and preventing certain mistakes. I noticed a few below, and added some suggestions and tips for improvement.Space out your dialogue. Something more like this:

"Nothing came up on the radar. We got played.""I should have known!"The two strong, but not so smart robots were intently staring at the radar on their ship, looking for further directions on where to drop off the contraband they were carrying.

"Now we're stuck here with illegal neuclear waste!

Suddenly, a dark, twisted voice buzzed over on their raido.

Now, go 13 parsecs toward the Nekron sector."

The pair manuvered their freighter into the requested area as fast as possible.

Now, jetteson the payload from your ship

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Now I gotta send out a science crew to check it out.

I have never been much of a fan of Bionicle's time on Bara Magna, or in this case, Spherus Magna, but there is a massive range of possibility to be played with here. With an entire universe evacuated and being thrown into the mix with all the natives of Bara Magna, there's no telling what can happen. So despite my dislike of the location, you've put together quite an opening chapter. That's not to say I didn't stumble upon a few errors.

so the Skrall instinctively raised his shield to protect him.

Siril managed to discern a shape and recognised the species.

I assume it’s a gift…Or a curse.

the stunned Vortixx in front of him desperately trying to crawl away, “you on the other hand, my friend…Are not.”

Siril also considered the quality of the assassin’s.

As promised, I have been closely following this epic since my initial review. Of course, another eight chapters of story have transpired since then, and your work continues to impress. I glanced above at your worry of events being spoiled, so I won't say anything that might ruin certain surprises. What I can say is that the latest worlds you have painted are so vivid, and full of life in their own ways. Imagery, landscapes, and sensory details are omnipresent, and that makes your worlds feel inches away.Moreover, the characters introduced in later chapters have that same spark of life, containing touches of your own creativity without betraying where their influence comes from. As for the characters that are your own, homegrown entities, their depth remains as real and strong as those from the official storyline. Over the course of a story, the audience begins to have an expectation of how the main characters interact with their surroundings, and that early dynamic I discussed has flourished - your first person perspective certainly paid off in this respect.If the first post remains correct, and Dimension Hoppers concludes at twenty chapters, then the end is certainly close. I'm curious to see how you'll wrap things up. Reviewers of this epic have made reference to your other stories, so whether this is a story that will tie up all the loose ends, or leave certain questions lingering overhead, there is a little doubt in my mind that it will be a satisfying finale. Once again, excellent writing, TNTOS.-Ced

Is it $45 for the Glatorain comics? I am looking for those as I never ordered the Lego Magazine.

so you would take $10.00 for each set?So a total of:Turaga (All 6) [No Instructions + No rubber bands]$10.00Cahdok and Gahdok [built, but No Instructions]$10.00Exo-Toa$10.00Toa Hagah (Norik)Vezon and Fenrahk$10.00Lesovikk and Sea Sled$10.00Takanuva (2008 Version)$10.00Correct?

Hello, Here is my wants list:Sets:Turaga (All 6) [No Instructions + No rubber bands]Cahdok and Gahdok [built, but No Instructions]Exo-ToaToa Hagah (Norik)Vezon and FenrahkLesovikk and Sea SledTakanuva (2008 Version)What would you want for these? Individually priced please.

For a man who seldom belts out a short story, I'm actually surprised I made it to the public top 5/6. A funny aside here at the moment: The number of votes for each story is fairly analogous to each story's length. Anyway, good luck to the other finalists. Enjoy your "eternal glory" winners. =)-Ced

Sometimes, I'm in the mood to skim over the latest piece of work to make its way into the epic sub-forum. You were my winner today. So, I'll get right to it.

Takua, was a matoran

side entrance of Ta-koro

Due to the absence of anything exciting and Takua left his post to explore a cave away nearby.

As he finished speaking he heard the sound of a large rat rahi and saw it coming closer to the entrance.

Wow, after that great story, I hope you finish it in novel form. I never really thought about murder mystery in Metru-Nui, but it works so well! This one was great, and the wording was amazing. I hope you win!

So it's $150 for the whole lot of sets? Is everything in decent condition? If so, I think I'd be pretty interested in purchasing it.

First and foremost, this is not a trade topic. I am looking only to profit monetarily from my Bionicle items. I managed to amass quite the collection of Bionicle sets, books, movies, and comics over the years. And with the story having ended, I was hoping to find a buyer here before scouring other parts of the internet.About Purchasing: I am only shipping in the U.S, the buyer must pay for shipping fees, and items will be shipped once payment is received. I will accept payment through a money order or Paypal.Anyway, here's what I've got.Sets: ALL SOLDMovies: (BUY ALL FOR $30)Bionicle: Mask of Light - The Movie - $10Bionicle 2: Legends of Metru Nui - $10Bionicle 3: Web of Shadows - $10Bionicle: The Legend Reborn - $10Book Guides + Comics: (BUY ALL FOR $20)The Official Guide to Bionicle - $5Bionicle Metru Nui Guide - $5Bionicle Rahi Guide - $5Bionicle Dark Hunters Guide - $5Bionicle World Guide - $5Bionicle Encyclopedia - $5Bionicle Comics #7-27 (Note: Did not start receiving comics from LEGO magazine until comic #7) - $10Feel free to voice any questions, comments, or concerns. Or PM me if need be.-Ced

Half-Life: Gyah's AwakeningReview ThreadNumber of chapters: 5, plus a short prologue. So 6, technically.Thanks a lot in advance! The main thing I want to know is if it's easy enough to understand off the bat without reading the first three, being the fourth book in a series and all. The nature of the series is to be puzzling but I think this story may be just plain confusing.-tG

I like it, despite my constant gripe with the fact that short stories generally make for "un-ended" endings. It reminds me of the Poirot mysteries. You did make a few grammar errors:

"That may be," Vitram agreed, narrowing his glossy, emerald eyes, "but the Turaga doesn't have to put his computers on legs on city payroll."

"Computers on legs" should be in single quotation marks, not italicized.

A pair of Vorzakh held a topaz armored Dark Hunter in place, making sure he wouldn't escape.

The adjective "topaz" and the adverb "armored" are, in this case, a compound word and need a hyphen between them.That's all I caught, and, really, they're very small mistakes. My favorite bit comes right at the end.

As far as the world is concerned, Ryaric the Ta-Matoran is dead. But Ticryo, the hopeful criminal investigator from the Tren Krom Peninsula is alive and well. This is my existence now, my prison, if you will. To be honest, I suppose it could be a lot worse.

Nice story. Very chilling and mysterious (especially at the end).I was very confused when Vitram was accused of being the murderer, not to mention the murders being mysterious enough as it is. The two matoran per Metru seemed to have some pattern or method to madness... but that didn't explain the pile of kanohi in Ryaric's home. The only explanation that I came up with was he was to be framed or that Vitram was on someone's trail/doing his own private investigation and he really could explain the full situation if he were allowed to live.I wonder if that really was the murderer on Stelt or if it was the Dark Hunter playing a mind game after tracking down Ryaric? Or perhaps he just recognized him or had a hunch... Any ending sounds good to me, and I actually like how this was left open. ^^Good luck in the contest!

Dynamic Paradigm has been posted in its entirety, and it has been a little over a year since I first conjured the ideas of Landrak and his friends - uncertain of where they were headed. Though I expressed that this would most likely be my final work on BZPower, I am not ruling out another story being written at some unknown point in the future. Thank you to anyone and everyone who reads this epic, whether you liked it or didn't. What matters is that, like the Vapseron, you were willing to take the journey, and I appreciate the effort.-Ced

It was a sunny afternoon in Prime, as busy as any other day. Landrak was on his way to the transcontinental station after a pleasant visit with Aurozi. Having already taken trips to meet with Selpiar and Endico, Landrak was confident that his friends would live out happy lives under the watch of the Axiom Union. As he continued down the sidewalk, Landrak carelessly glanced off to his left. A large white sign with multicolor lettering read "Coming Soon: Nova Spire." Beneath the words was the distinct Axiom Union symbol Landrak would remember for the rest of his life. He looked further left and widened his eyes for a second. Landrak had somehow failed to notice a reporter interviewing Sovereign Carzandus near the metal entryway to a building that had yet to exist. Carzandus was standing beneath the empty arch, arms folded as he waited for another topic."What is the scope of involvement you will have with the reconstruction of Arc's cities?"Carzandus grinned. "Given the losses we have sustained, the Axiom military has taken a very personal interest in seeing each city center rebuilt to a new height of glory. Just as my top advisors took pride in the beauty of Starlight Tower, it is my hope that each area we plan to rebuild will leave biomechs awestruck. We want to give them the sensation of pride and astonishment when they visit a city center - truly breathing new life into these zones.""Has your company reached an estimated deadline as to when this project will be complete?"Carzandus retained his smile while releasing a faint sigh. Glancing off to the left, the deceptive Kyllidahk stopped his eyes on Landrak for a moment. They both knew they had the undivided attention of the other, but there was nothing to be said now. Landrak's expression of shock slowly turned to disgust - glaring into Omtazic's visual receptors before continuing on his way down the street. Carzandus' smile quickly faded, replaced by dejection.The reporter took notice of Carzandus' sudden unhappiness and gave him a curious look. "Are you all right?"Omtazic held his focus on where Landrak had glared at him, finally muttering an emotionless response. "The architects are still at an outline stage regarding much of the damaged centers in Prime, Dawn, Interval, Verve, and Sincerity. Beyond reestablishing foundations and improving the design of Starlight Tower, it's far too early to speculate a completion date."The reporter casually took down a few notes. "I see..."Carzandus quietly took a few steps past the archway and toward the area where Nova Spire would one day stand. The reporter at his side looked on as well, perplexed to see what he hoped to learn from studying empty air. Omtazic was incapable of viewing the emptiness - his mind was captivated by the dream Exogen denied him of, now reduced to a memory. Carzandus' hollow smile slowly returned and he considered the extent of his recent losses for a moment. He was alone on Arc now, sharing loneliness with a world of biomechs who felt only revulsion toward his true form. Worse than the feared and misunderstood Nerozak, Omtazic was the last of a hated design forced to suffer the needs of his antagonists. In the back of his mind, he could only hope Exogen would reconsider allowing the last Kyllidahk to return home.Landrak kept a steady pace as he distanced himself from Omtazic and Starlight Tower. In the coming months, he would make fewer visits to Prime, and eventually detach himself from Radiance altogether. The Axiom Union was a flicker of the past that meant nothing to Landrak now. The whole of Arc was at his fingertips. He smiled along every step that day, taking in the world he had grown so accustomed to. Just above his sight, a pitch black trail of aether spiraled up through the atmosphere and twinkled in the sunlight before vanishing entirely. The Arbiter of the Cosmos had a promise to keep to his love.

The Great Beings did not leave us orphans on the universe's doorstep. We are all intelligent races that must act on our own - pay the consequences of our self-destructive actions. Each day we rise, we have an opening to redeem ourselves. We never asked to be created, but regardless, we have a duty to one another to live in accord. If we don't owe this to our creators, we owe it to ourselves at least.-Cederak (Excerpt from The Eternal Void, Section 1: Absolution Created)

Nerozak walked through the outskirts of what would eventually become Reprieve, built over the ruins of Respite. Two months had passed since the Aether Network was reset and Nerozak was encouraged by the biomechs' spirit to rebuild their broken world. Reaching his destination, Nerozak uncomfortably gave Landrak and Talise a sad smile. They were located in a nearly completed cemetery, standing before a memorial dedicated to Ceyvim and Merolsy."Hello, Nerozak," Landrak greeted, trying to be friendly."Good afternoon," Nerozak replied, staring down at the grave."It's okay," Talise told him, giving Nerozak a smile. "My parents are together again.""Of course," Nerozak nodded. "Ceyvim was a soldier at heart, and I believe he loved Arc. It was clear he loved you, Talise. Maybe he was the lucky one.""What do you mean?" Landrak wondered."I mean that you two will be old and tired some day, but Ceyvim died as a hero...a soldier redeemed, practically passing in the line of active duty.""We can accept aging," Landrak replied. "My friends and I have had enough of the Axiom military.""What are they doing now?" Nerozak asked, motioning for Landrak and Talise to follow him."I know Selpiar returned to Radiance to become a surgeon, returning to a medic's work in a sense. Aurozi is on Radiance as well, working with reactor core maintenance in the cities," Landrak explained."Verton's last letter mentioned his work on Vault to accommodate a new biomech colony outside the ruins of Amtra's palace," Talise recalled. "And Endico returned home to Sincerity, living peacefully and happily near the Iron Sea.""And what about the two of you?" Nerozak asked. "Where are you going?""We're staying here, in Reprieve. Talise likes the scenery of Wake, and after you convinced Omtazic to open all of Arc to biomechanical travel, I couldn't wait to leave Radiance.""It was the least I could do," Nerozak grinned. "Your contribution was far greater than mine though. Not necessarily enduring your Vapseron path, but retaining your belief in others.""I could never lose hope in biomechs," Landrak smiled. "Even after years at war...I knew we would recover. Arc is going to be okay.""Thanks to you," Nerozak smiled. "It takes someone exceptionally smart and tactical to lead their friends through the trials set before your squadron. An existence like yours is more rare in this universe than you might think, Landrak. Take that for what it's worth.""Thank you, Nerozak," Landrak replied, shaking his hand."Not to ruin a moment of optimism, but you should hold on to your sense of realism in this new Arc," Nerozak added. "This planet is not a utopia, and Omtazic is not perfect.""We know," Talise reassured him. "Agents of the Phantom Faction are still out there - plotting to overthrow Carzandus in some way. With the Guards and Sentinels more united now, though, they stand a better chance at handling the leaderless renegades.""Very true," Nerozak agreed. "I suppose my point was that expecting a world full of biomechs to entirely agree on one idea of harmony is foolishness. The objective is to see that society receives more benefits than detriments from everyone's actions."Nerozak mused on his words for a moment, finally smiling. "My brother would be proud. There is no light without darkness. And there is no single pattern to succeeding in this life."