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Noxryn

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Blog Entries posted by Noxryn

  1. Noxryn
    This entry is for the BionicleZonePower Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Straight, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Agender, Genderqueer, Pansexual, Omnisexual, Everyone Group
     
    Short version: BZRainbow (Because everyone is different in their own beautiful way, like each and every color, but when drawn together become a beautifully united front.)
     
    Anyone is free to join this group! You do not have to be gay or bi or trans or anything – that's why "straight" and "everyone" are in there. All you have to do is like people!
     

    Members:


     

    Kohaku



    ToM Dracone



    Spink



    ~Allegretto~
    dotcom
    -Windrider-
    Bundalings



    Waffles
    Laughin’Man
    Toa Onarax
    VampyreAri
    My Little Xinlo
    Squishypony
    Lhikevikk Returns!



    Disky



    Lih



    Nifelheim



    Lord Kini Hawkeye



    Chols



    Jedi Master J.



    Kinali



    EmperorWhenua



    Alku



    Ballom



    twinArmageddons


  3. Noxryn

    s&t

    By Noxryn,

    i never have and never will be in favor of canonizing every pebble in Bionicle G1 for pretend "world building"
     
    the narrative's over and the book's done, but there's a lot of room for fan interpretation and expansion
     
    filling in every little detail and hole will completely kill that and absolutely KO the story when everything's canonized to the point where there's no more room for imagination.
     
    also forgive me if i'm a bit sour for having to take others' headcanons as official canon fact because they asked greg for permission.
  4. Noxryn

    Trans Content (tm)

    By Noxryn,

    It'll be a good day when I have my vocal chord surgery.
     
    It'll also be a good year when I remember to take my HRT medications on time properly, but a couple days off isn't as bad as forgetting for a month straight.
     
    Plus, got some nice skirts that I should wear out sometime.
  6. Noxryn

    bionicle stuff

    By Noxryn,

    whenever i go to add new entry with the feature outside of my blog on the drop down list it still uses my older blog title, weird
     
    anyway
     
    on the whole bionicle coming back thing 'cuz i should say something as i was/is a fan of it
     
    - hope it's a reboot
    - hope the story doesn't become a convoluted mess of dark edginess and attempts to be gritty (and vezon can go away forever ok)
    - hope the story is able to create its own unique identity
    - hope the story is fun to read and features a larger, more interesting cast of female characters
    - hope the story doesn't create the silly gender restrictions like last time, because that was terrible
    - hope makuta goes away im done with his ten year long plans that have more plans inside of plans and plans for the unplannable. plans. (or they just make makuta better)
    - hope every single little detail is not explained b/c that kinda killed latter bionicle for me, personally, when BZPers went and got every. single. small. little. detail. canonized and killed a lot of the fun imagination (ie: all the canonized "THIS IS WHAT THIS SIDE CHARACTER LOOKS LIKE OFFICIALLY" cuz no that's your headcanon and while it might be a cool one i have one i like more but can't use it anymore b/c people will cite BS01 when reviewing fanfiction featuring my artistic interpretation of that character kk)
    - hope romance isn't like, decanonized, 'cuz cutesy romance is kinda fun and it's my weakness
    - hope when it does go away again we dont get stuck with a bunch of BBBCers again
    - hope it catches on and brings more new creative people around who do new things and explore new horizons in their own creative ways (i also miss the activity of the short stories forum i lived in there for like a year or two)
    - idc if they have cheesy jokes everywhere, old bionicle did so (plus it's lego they do that)
    - ngl i hope the story team doesn't have extremely long prolonged interaction with BZP or other forums on the basis that it'd prolly lead back into canonizing everything (though a way to have dialogue in like a feedback sort of way would be pretty cool... but it'd prolly be flooded with questions/canonization requests so eh).
    - it'd be pretty cool if there were some gender non-conforming characters introduced, i'd personally really enjoy seeing that although im not really expecting it
    - ill prolly buy gali, kopaka and pohatu and maybe lewa (kopaka/pohatu otp now and forever; gali seemed like she had a poseidon thing goin' on which seemed cool and lewa was... one of the earliest sets i got, so)
     
    but in the end i mostly do hope i enjoy it again, can use it as a creative springboard on days when just stuck or dealing with writer's block, and yeah i know already i'll rant on a lot of stuff (most likely).
  7. Noxryn
    i dont think i can make any sense of skirt sizes online
     
    will it fit, will it not
     
    who knows, buy it to find out
     
    will it flow in the wind like an oversized flag, or will it try to crush your internal organs
     
    only one way to find out
     
    (that guess will be seventy dollars pls)
     
     
     
    edit: also yes i will rant about this on all my blogs
  9. Noxryn

    AMC!

    By Noxryn,

    So I have a job interview with them tomorrow! (The theaters, not the channel sillies)
     
    Just need to run to get my haircut after school (It's getting long *hasn't gotten it cut since before Brickfair*), shave and find something nice to wear.
     
    What's awesome is that I know how to get there, and to the haircut place, and have my own car to drive myself there in (and to school, so no blechy buses anymore)
     
    Hopefully I get the job *would love to work at AMC*
  10. Noxryn
    my computer can run it on max settings wooo (but only at an average of 46~FPS going by the benchmark test, so prolly a bit lower) but the game looks just rad on high and medium settings so there... which technically doesn't matter since the human eye can only see like 27 ~ 30 frames per second (if this is wrong punch my 3D animation instructor from two years ago).
     
    (but i plan to get the collector's edition for my PS3 since it's just a safer investment and get the standard version for PC so i can play it there too/see if it runs well... though i think i can do that in open beta so we'll see)
     
    but yay i wanna be a miqo'te white mage <3
     
    (i'll be so bad at white mage jsyk)
     
    if other people plan to get it and play they should totes say something (i have like one other friend who wants to play it too so we're gonna be miqo'te boys blowing things up randomly)
     
    but yay so excited (and release date is Aug 27th, but since i plan to preorder headstart is August 20th... and that's after the open beta which i think will be in mid-late July since Phase 3 testing is in June [and open beta is Phase 4])
     
     
    (oh oh oh and i graduated wooo so now onto college come Sept 4th)
  12. Noxryn

    Musical Inspirations

    By Noxryn,

    My friend showed me a song recently that made me want to write, or just find, a story where the fate of the world hinges on Pong.
     
    And, like, the characters would challenge each other to these world-changing, mind-smashing rounds of the game with:
     
    "Let us play Pong."
     
    And it'd be all dark and serious and stuff. *makes ominous hand motions for dramatic effect*
  13. Noxryn

    how do i post

    By Noxryn,

    where is the box i feel old and i have (1) opinion
    everyone else put in life updates so heres mine no one asked for

    estrogen made me hot and i have a boyfriend

    and a pool, i have a pool

    im kinda a big deal
  15. Noxryn

    years

    By Noxryn,

    i just realized ive been here for like ten years
     
    i turned 21 like a month ago so there's that too
     
    but ten years dang where'd the time go
  17. Noxryn
    I feel more prompted to post this as BZPower, as a whole, seems to fall into this pit fairly often with a variety of people.
     
    Religious discussion is not allowed. The rule goes further to nix religious statements, quotations and so forth. (Even though, these days, that does seem more lax although I am fairly certain no official alteration to that rule has occurred).
     
    It's not a rule designed to slight people who are religious. It exists because religion is one of those things everyone argues over to the point of near tearing out someone's throat, verbally. Absolutely no eye opening, wonderful, well developed discussion will occur over the subject on a forum dedicated to Lego. By and large, discussions about it belong where there's a large base with a vested interest in the topic who actually studied the subject (Even then, odds are most contributors never took a class on any religion anyway, so the value there is questionable at best). If someone really holds a burning desire for religious discussion, they can speak to a religious leader, other members of their community, or find a platform more suitable for it. Easy as that.
     
    A lot of people seem to think LGBT related talk is comparable to religion and should be banned because it offends some individuals of some religions. Straight up, it's not. Being a person is different than believing in something. If LGBT content was 100 percent banned, like it used to be, an entire section of this community wouldn't be able to open up about themselves or talk about important details of their life that other individuals can freely discuss with no consequence: that's not fair and it's not equal treatment of members. LGBT individuals can't post bible quotes, or statements, just as non-LGBT members cannot. But LGBT members can talk about significant others, post romantic stories, art, etc... just as any non-LGBT member can.
     
    The two situations aren't comparable and trying to force them to be just because you don't like some people is irritating at best. Hopefully people can understand that.
  19. Noxryn

    yo

    By Noxryn,

    haven posted a thing here in forever but decided to come back for nostalgia and boredom sake for a single night in the midst of october
     
    its so weird
     
    like bein in an abandoned hospital but the lights're still on and you can jus hear your voice echoin down the halls
     
    man and i spent like... idk, i think i was active mostly through 2015? but like, 12 years of havin an acct
     
    my acct is older than elementary school
     
    also nearly half my current lifespan
     
    wild
     
    my icon cute tho
  21. Noxryn

    hm 2016

    By Noxryn,

    2016... a lot of negative stuff went down, a lot of sad things happened, a lot of bad things in general occurred and surfaced.
     
    But in 2016 I made... 30,000 word progress on my book, so I'm nearly halfway done with it so far. I slowed down a lot due to falling into some potent periods of depression (I vanished off tumblr too for a good part of that time), I lost a lot of momentum I had due to that and the last couple months sorta felt like scraping buy to design some semblance of self worth. I quit my Starbucks job earlier in the year, too (I was going on HRT and everything, so I felt like with the drive, with the stress, physical and mental, it'd be healthier for me and to continue my therapy I was having trouble keeping due to my schedule that couldn't be changed).
     
    The middle of the year was a haze really. I had a birthday, turned 21, annnnnd... yeah.
     
     
    And everything else was pretty monotonous for me, it's all like just grey smudges if I had to think of a color for it. All blends in together and is kinda just the same.
     
    But then in December like... I fell into a relationship with Serein and I've honestly like... I can't remember being this happy in... the last... six? Years? I actually cry from being extremely happy, or I blush and giggle, and just been in a fantastic mood and it's so new and refreshing and I just... lose my words and sound like a nerd a lot, BUT I MEAN
     
    (plus she's super cute omg )
     
    So it ended like incredibly, amazingly, happily and... just.. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
  22. Noxryn

    Holidays, and so Forth

    By Noxryn,

    I felt surprised I got things this year, namely because I really didn't provide a list as there really wasn't much I wanted. But anyway, I did end up getting:
     
    - Dishonored
    - ACIII
    - Emilie Autumn's Opheliac Album :3
    - The soundtrack to Repo: The Genetic Opera (Met the guy who plays the surgeon in the movie~)
     
    I really like the album though, I've been meaning to get some of her music for a long while now. (I do want to pick up Fight Like a Girl soon...). Have yet to try the games, been more into Guild Wars 2 and Zelda, plus Kid Icarus.
     
    Otherwise, we all went to see The Hobbit earlier today and man, I loved that movie.
     
    Oh and visited family, met some cousins I haven't seen since I was like 8. (And, of course, I'm the tallest family member *at this gathering* and yet the youngest of my cousins <.<;;; [for perspective, they are parents with like 5+ year olds])
  23. Noxryn
    Okay.
     
    I debated for a -long- time on whether or not I'd come out and say this on BZPower, or if I would simply quietly outfit my profile to make it obvious. Normally I'm more comfortable doing the latter, it's my Facebook approach (though there hosts family and real life people, which is another issue entirely) but since this is BZPower and I feel pretty comfortable here for the most part, I thought why not make a blog entry? It's a part of who I am, about my life, and about how I would like others to refer to me on the site.
     
    In real life I generally present myself as male. Not really by choice most of the time, but because that's what people will assume when they meet me and I'm far too nervous, shy and anxious to ever correct or try to assert how I prefer to be seen and referred to. I also, currently, don't wear the outfits and clothes I would absolutely adore to wear out in public, nor do I spend time with makeup (again, due to a lot of various insecurities and how my anxiety acts up). As a result of this, I've adopted to using basically either gender neutral terms (Ze/Hir/Hirself) or straight up female pronouns (She/Her/Herself) when online (I really want to get to the point where I am just as comfortable and confident IRL, but right now going to such lengths would likely cause me to... well, experience anxiety on a level were I'd be physically sick).
     
    I sift between gender expressions and identity: sometimes I'm completely comfortable being seen and referred to as male. Sometimes it bothers me, makes me feel upset and angry and depressed and I might go down a self-destructive road in a warped attempt to fix my feelings, or fix myself. The majority of the time I like ze/hir/hirself pronouns -- they aren't tied to a gender in the binary, but they share similarities to female pronouns and I prefer it for that reason (exactly why? I don't know, I really can't give anyone an explicit "this is the precise reason why I like this" All I know is I feel more comfortable, I feel happier, I feel depressed less and I treat myself better), however; as this is a website, there is the option to change one's gender on their profile. I've gone to the length that I will select a gender for how I feel in hopes people will notice and use the associated pronouns to refer to me at that point in time... rather than me making requests all the time.
     
    So, I guess this is... kind of my way of coming out as pangender?
     
    It's not exactly new to me, I've had these sorts of feelings for a -long- time (started early high school, actually) but I never had words to ascribe to them, never had any resources to peruse before, never was pointed in any direction for proper help with these issues, and was often ignored when I asked for help trying to figure all this out as it was causing me extreme distress and discomfort. I never mentioned them here in the past as I didn't have the words and I was terribly frightened of someone mocking me, or using it as a springboard to attack who I am. Or to use the entry, or wherever it was stated, as a way to drudge up their personal opinions on something they don't have any authority to talk about in such a manner.
     
    But, within the last... two? Years I've been able to find resources for nonbinary identities, I've been able to talk to some people about how I feel and get some solid help I wanted (namely just "Do other people feel this way? Is this some kind of phase I always hear people talk about? Will the feelings go away if I ignore them? Am I messed up, is there something wrong with my brain's chemistry or the chemistry of my biology? Etc..."). Of course I do want to take some of this to a therapist eventually, to receive more resources and assistance with other issues I have, but I'm still hesitant as I've never had a therapist I felt comfortable with (I basically just had one who only emphasized my fears constantly, which lead me to having near-breakdowns with them and I never wanted to see them again. So I'm hesitant about finding a new one).
     
    And ever since I started identifying as Pangender, and since I started to refer to myself with my own desired pronouns, I've felt so much better. I still fall into depression and other problems, but I try to combat it with exercise, eating better (well, trying to eat better... I... actually still need to eat something today :x) instead of unhealthier means (none of which I will explain, so don't ask).
     
     
     
    Annnnnd normally I don't try to post this level of personal thing on this blog, but... I mean, it deals with how I want people to see me and understanding myself, so I thought it'd be beneficial. Thanks for reading, I guess?
  24. Noxryn

    Oh Look

    By Noxryn,

    I have a phone interview tomorrow for the school I settled on, and I'm kind of excited and kind of nervous since, based on the text message, I'm going to have to explain I'm transgender and I go by "Kit" nowadays (it's not legally changed yet, I haven't had the ability to put together the time, funds and scheduling for the next steps I need to take -- Court hearing/Publication of the change -- and I'm trying to work my gender markers on my forms of legal ID to female).
     
    Granted, I haven't been called by my birth name in years so it's always a bit disorienting to me when it's used to refer to myself.
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