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Sumiki

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Blog Entries posted by Sumiki

  2. Sumiki
    Now, after nearly two and a half months, I have to announce the winners of this thing, because bragging rights and stuff I guess.
     
    First Place - Sparkytron's Dr. Bananabot (10 votes)
    Second Place - Kakaru's Combustible Lemons to Burn Your House Down (7 votes)
    Third Place - Paleo's "Cutie" (6 votes)
    Fourth Place - Fenrai's The Citrus Ray (1 vote)
  3. Sumiki
    Last summer, as you may or may not recall, I spent 28 days on the road in 25 states, and blogged about my various experiences. These experiences included, but were not limited to, impromptu hail storms, toothbrush-gets, confusing waitresses with pre-cooked bacon, creating poems about eggplant, ridiculously large potholes fault lines in the road, our GPS channeling its inner HAL 9000, grown men sharing their beers with their dogs, getting attacked by a gigantic crow, squirrels that thought they were dogs, my dad rubbing his beard on various items, and, of course, going a few thousand miles with what turned out to be a busted ball bearing nestled somewhere in the driveshaft.
     
    After that epic journey concluded, I felt a longing to get back on the road - a reverse homesickness, of sorts. There's still a lot of this continent to explore, and my bucket list mostly consists of exploring it. North Carolina just seems so ridiculously small now.
     
    So then and there, preliminary planning for the route of the second Great American Road Trip was underway. According to our philosophy of aiming our car in a general direction, going, and hoping for the best, we did not want to plan too much of the adventure, but the various states and provinces we want to see on this trip necessitate a bit more precision. We're still not planning ahead too much, as we might be on the road for our maximum 37 days available. (If we don't run out of money, we should be okay.)
     
    This is The Great American Road Trip: Part II. Tomorrow - May 15th, 2013 - we shall depart from North Carolina, bound for Ohio, Michigan, Minnesota, western Canada, and possibly points beyond. (My dad keeps threatening to get "frisky" in Canada, drive to Alaska, off-road it to Nome, raft across the Bering Strait, buy an old Soviet tank in Russia, drive the Trans-Siberian Highway with Vladimir Putin. I'm not sure we have enough time to do that this year.)
     
    This is where you come in. If you see that I might be rollin' through your area, comment on an entry or PM me, and we'll see if we can work something out.
     
    So without further ado, let the insanity begin.
  6. Sumiki
    A blog so good, you'll eat your legs. 9
    Blogging to the exponent of awesome. 6
    An effective method of blogging. 5
    You COULD read this subtitle, but the really good stuff's in the entries! 4
    Blogging = (s/u)+(m-i-k)/(i) 4
    Your mind will be forever tortured unless you enter! 8D (And will still be tortured if you enter.) 2
     
    Thanks for making this a great contest guys!
  7. Sumiki
    I know I said that last week was probably the last tablescrap for a while, but that turned out not to be the case. I can say with 100% certainty, however, that this one will be the last edition for at least three weeks.
     
    Since, due to circumstances, I do not have any newer tablescraps to show, here's a little thing from memory lane: the first MOC I ever built, dating to mid-2004, found stuffed in the very back of a shelf. (I distinctly remember that another MOC named the "Toa of Sushi" went along with it, for some inane reason.) Anyway, I named this MOC "Sumiki" - and the rest, as they say, is history.
     
    And yes, I know. It sucks.
     

    (HQ Gallery [when public])

  8. Sumiki

    Thoughts on Grammar

    By Sumiki,

    Perhaps I've always been wrong.
     
    I've always been one to really notice when other people don't use proper grammar. I blame my mother for this. To us both, seeing something grammatically incorrect is like hearing fingernails being dragged across a blackboard.
     
    Yet over the years we've both been put into a great many positions where this has caused problems. It mortifies me when I look back at tracts of writing and find errors, and I'm one to extensively rewrite and proofread everything I write - blog posts, e-mails, even texts in the few instances where I've written them. Heck, I just rewrote the entire previous sentence out of a mix of habit and compulsion.
     
    Part of this stems from a kind of perfectionism that I've had to overcome in order to finish any creative endeavor I've ever undertaken. Part of it is as I've recounted - a lifelong obsession with proper grammar. But truth be told, I think a lot of it has come from not wanting to look like a fool on the Internet, which is a vast, wonderful, and occasionally scary place where first impressions mean a lot more and false information travels with the same speed as fact.
     
    Grammar is supposed to make language clear, concise, and intelligible. We may be able to understand simple language devoid of grammatical rules, but the ability to truly and deeply understand nuances in a society without grammar is tantamount to impossible. Even with the seemingly arbitrary rules which grammar provides for us, there is the possibility for misunderstanding. That's another slice of the equation for me - a fear of being misunderstood. All too often I fear as if this has worked against me, almost as if my compulsion to refine and rewrite actually decreases my overall clarity.
     
    This is why there is nothing like talking to someone face to face. Writing is full of pitfalls of miscommunication and misunderstanding, regardless of grammar. Body language and tone of voice communicate far more than words can alone, and what would otherwise be an ambiguous sentence in text can be as clear as a midday sky with tone of voice and perhaps a few well-placed hand gestures.
     
    That said, much of grammar is an exclusively textual thing. It's technically not right to end sentences with prepositions as much as it's technically not right to split infinitives, but this is how we talk. I do it far more than I can even keep up with because, for all my inclination for noticing these kinds of errors, they are so deeply ingrained into the way we speak that they go past my ears without That Part of my brain catching them.
     
    I have gotten better at this, I think. Other's grammatical shortcomings don't bother me nearly as much as they used to, although I tend to squirm internally every time someone screws up the usage of "well" and "good." Grammar takes the role of guidelines rather than rules - important, to be sure, but not the be-all end-all by-the-book my-way-or-the-highway set of rigid rules that must be followed.
     
    Part of this was my realization that the world won't change, especially since I've never been one to point out another's grammatical mistakes unless a) I've turned into a jerk after a very bad day, or b) someone says something so incontrovertibly and unbelievably stupid that pointing out typos and grammar flaws becomes a mere bullet in a round of ammunition, which I proverbially load if I so choose. Otherwise, since I wasn't trying to fix what I saw as a relatively minor (but annoying) issue, it was an internal problem.
     

    [xkcd #1108]
     
    But back to my opening point: perhaps I'm wrong about all of this. Perhaps my view of grammar, though evolved from an admitted high horse, is still too high of an expectation. Perhaps I've spent too much time on the Internet where folks don't have qualms about not capitalizing their sentences or ending them with punctuation. If my position had never evolved at all, I'd be unable to enjoy half of the things I do - heck, I'd be incapable of making up any of my status updates (despite the recent claims of a quasi-anonymous member on a popular blogging platform, I maintain that they are hilarious).
     
    I'm not perfect and I've come to realize that many things I thought to be immutable facts all of five years ago are suddenly not. I attribute a lot to those who talk about social justice, and although I have my problems with its surrounding culture, I'd be a lot worse of a person overall if I were still in the dark about those kinds of issues.
     
    My sense of what people should and shouldn't do when it comes to this matter has eroded, as in the examples I mentioned above, but is it wrong of me to ever mention someone's error online if I am unaware of the poster's background? I occasionally provide helpful feedback to members in the Library about grammatical or spelling errors I find, if there is a repetition of the same error, but a) I keep it as helpful and non-confrontational as possible, and b) it is out of not wanting anyone else to be perceived poorly because of a simple mistake. If someone is consistently misspelling a certain word or typing in run-on paragraphs, I feel as if it's part of my duty - especially as a staff member - to help.
     
    There is only one time in recent memory where I chided someone for their grammatical inadequacy, and it was in response to the same quasi-anon I mentioned earlier. In a series of four messages, each less coherent than the last, their grammar deteriorated along with the logic behind their argument. In my responses to these messages, I dedicated scant few sentences - two or three out of veritable walls of text - to examining their lack of grammatical accuracy as a tangential point to my logical deconstruction of their argument. I was not going after them solely because of this, and in fact, I would say that the vast, vast majority of what I wrote pertained to breaking apart a really weird and problematic point of view.
     
    But even in that mere sliver which I devoted to the side-note of pointing out their lack of grammar, did I go too far? Is it a stain on my escutcheon caused by overzealousness in annihilating a harmful point of view?
     
    I don't know, but maybe I was wrong to do so.
     
    And if I was wrong then, perhaps I always have been.
  10. Sumiki
    Sumiki's Blog fleshes a famous sky before the household spiritual. Sumiki originates before the specialized mask. A drivel indents the dynamic satellite. Will the spur bite the molecule? The epic keeps a liquid. A curious percentage scandalizes Sumiki. Opposite the amused rod screams Sumiki's Blog. Sumiki purges over a regarding misfortune. The competent reign wises Sumiki past a philosopher. A circular effort leans next to the lying structure. Sumiki examines Sumiki's Blog near a questionable outset. Opposite an insight nests the chopping foot. The spectacular paints the assisted thesis past a cartoon. The hail summarizes Sumiki. Sumiki's Blog jams! How will Sumiki originate against Sumiki's Blog?
     
    The confine sweeps.
  11. Sumiki
    When I was promoted, I was reminded of this little old thing called a Staff Page, and told to get something on it posthaste. Trouble is, I started work on something, but I didn't like it too much. Then the page went kaput for a while.
     
    Well, it's back - in fact, it's been back. The thing is, I don't like what I wrote, and I still don't.
     
    That's what this is for. Your mission is to write up my Staff page biography. There may be prizes, but we'll have to see about that.
     
    You have until Saturday, June 23rd, at 11:59 PM Eastern Time to post your bio here in this entry.
     
    This is not a traditional contest in the sense that there will be one winner and one winner only. Rather, the entries will be judged by me, and there most likely will not be a clear winner. I may or may not combine two or more together along with my own material - again, we'll just have to see.
     
    Anyway, I've written too much already. Now it's your turn to do so.
  12. Sumiki
    Long-time Blogarithm viewers may remember a long rant I wrote about the link between Star Wars and BIONICLE with regards to their respective prequels. In it, I made the case that fans of a certain thing have higher expectations and preconceived notions regarding backstory.
     
    I thought that it might be time to significantly expand on that train of thought by considering the monstrous job that now lays ahead of J. J. Abrams, a task that is both Herculean and nearly Sisyphean in its proportions.
     
    The post-Return of the Jedi world saw the beginning of what would become known as the Star Wars Expanded Universe. Now, the EU is huge - not just with more licenses than you can shake a lightsaber at, but with games and books that delve into the mythology like never before. It's pretty insane how much canon Star Wars material is out there. The fans have been accustomed to the Expanded Universe and the stories that are from the EU are as - in some cases, more - revered than the movies that started it all.
     
    Let's face facts: J. J. Abrams will not be able to make a Star Wars movie without contradicting the Expanded Universe. The EU also relies so much on its own internal canon that contradicting one thing would likely cause a domino effect and negate pretty much every EU story that fans have come to love.
     
    The so-called "Thrawn Trilogy" is a good example. Set after Return of the Jedi, the Thrawn Trilogy were a series of books by author Timothy Zahn that chronicled the main characters fighting off what remained of the Galactic Empire and fighting an Imperial admiral named Thrawn. It's considered to be one of the definitive EU novels and were considered frontrunners to be turned into Episodes VII, VIII, and IX.
     
    Well, as it turns out, they're not going to be made into movies, which means that they - along with quite a lot of the EU - is going down the drain, so to speak.
     
    The only way that effigies of J. J. Abrams aren't burned by rabid Star Wars fans is if, hidden behind all of those lens flares, he's actually a genius beyond mortal comprehension. However, I hope no one takes it as an insult if I say that I sincerely doubt that, even when taking into account the existence of Fringe.
     
    The common problem is that fandoms generally expect consistently high-quality material from content creators. Star Wars had such a following that the prequels were bound to disappoint, regardless of quality. The pre-A New Hope universe was not nearly as explored before A Phantom Menace as the post-Return of the Jedi universe is right now. (I hope that made sense.)
     
    All of which brings us to Greg Farshtey. BZPower did not grow to have the most members of any LEGO fansite without reason. BIONICLE was big, and BZP's heyday saw a level of traffic and server-busy messages unheard of today, all because of BIONICLE. We appreciated Greg's dedication and his interaction with the community, which is unheard of amongst the content creators of such a large fan base.
     
    Nevertheless, voices of dissent emerged, which only became more prevalent in the post-Great Downtime BZP, after Greg disappeared due to his personal life and LEGO's new interactivity policy. Opinions on Greg's writing skills are lukewarm at best, as fans have matured and looked back on Greg's methods of storytelling with more critical eyes. (Time Trap is a great book and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.)
     
    Why? Well, we had become accustomed, as a community, to Greg's presence. Without it, I believe that criticism of his writing would have come about much sooner. We, as fandoms are wont to do, came to expect an inhuman level of quality from Greg, as the Star Wars fandom is expecting an inhuman level of quality from Abrams and his gang.
     
    After all, Lucas got enough flak for the prequels.
  14. Sumiki

    I Nommed Something

    By Sumiki,

    Bun + Meat + Mayo + Mustard + Ketchup + Grilled Onions + Cheese + Lettuce + Tomato + Potato Chips + Bacon = WIN.
     
    This is an accurate description of a burger that I had earlier today.
  15. Sumiki
    The second in the remarkable copypasta series.
     


    Toa
    The Toa are the resident superheroes (or "Toa-Heroes") of the BIONICLE universe. They evolve from useless Matorans and evolved to even more useless Turaga once they have completed their "destiny." (For some reason no Toa have thought of saying "screw you" to their "destiny", and remaining awesome forever.) Up until 2006, LEGO usually released them as the first line of the year. Then, in 2006, in a bold, controversial move, LEGO released them as the second line of the year, and put the Piraka, the first-ever "ghetto" BIONICLE, first.

     
    Toa Mata

    The first series of the models, this team oversees the whole company, due to their lack of knees preventing them getting around much. If they do need to see action, they can always dip themselves in weird silver lava, and become the Toa Nuva, and get dual-action tools. If that's not enough, they don some snazzy adaptive armour and jetpacks, becoming the Toa Mistika/Phantoka. Their members are:
     
    • Tahu, Toa of Ash, who established a long upheld BIONICLE tradition of the red guy being either the coolest, or the leader, or both. This guy actually got broken into pieces at the start of the series, but was able to reassemble himself, proving beyond a doubt that the BIONICLE are robots, not some kind of bio-mechanical crud.
    • Onua, Toa of Earth. Onua established another firmly held tradition of BIONICLE: The black guys always have the lamest masks. ALWAYS. Talk about racism ... Also, he's so dumb that he thinks you need chainsaws to dig through the Earth. He also thinks they can be worn as rollerblades. Apparently, the BIONICLE story team is even dumber than Onua, because this actually works in the comics.
    • Gali, the sexiest member of the team. Gali is in fact the hottest being in the BIONICLE universe, but the the Toa Mata kinda keep her under wraps to prevent a robosexual uprising. You know the incredibly miraculous thing about Gali and all other female Toa? Five guys and one girl to a team, and there has never once been a fight over the girl, ever. Well, either that, or all the guys are gay.
    • Kopaka, Toa of Slush. Seriously, this guy is cold. He's emotionless, the Toa Mata's Mr. Spock, and he's... Gali's boyfriend?! LEGO, surely you jest! Anyway, Kopaka's mask of X-Ray Vision (No joke, that's what they call it), and his "zoom" attachment (also not a joke) allows him to see them from great distances.
    • Pohatu (Or 'Po,' for short), the Toa of Punk Rock. This guy has the ability to kick rocks like they were soccer balls. Unfortunately, this means that in the original 2001 LEGO sets, when everyone else had cool tools, all he got was a rock. And some cool shoes, but they don't count. He complained to LEGO, and got upgraded to a pair of dumb claws while everyone else was getting awesome dual-action weapons. Finally, he complained again in 2008, and they gave him propellers. Pohatu now plans on leaving LEGO as soon as his contract expires, and joining up with Mega Bloks.
    • Lewa, the Toa of Silly Speech. Unlike the other Toa, Lewa feels it is necessary to speak in a language designed by LEGO to be a point of comic relief in BIONICLE. This is made up by the fact that he can fly, and his Irish-sounding voice.
    • And the surprise bonus, Takanuva (also known as Takkie), the Toa of Light! Basically a Toa Nuva, except he got a whole movie devoted to his origin story. He's stupid, and everything a seventh member of a team should be. No one knew him before he joined, and they still don't. He's come back from the dead on more than one occasion, but no one cares.

     
    Toa Metru

    These guys whoop some real tushie. They take the most missions, they look cool, and they have the hottest girl of them all. Except Gali, who could whup her tushie any day and every day. They got mutated once into half-animals, half-people but the nuclear scientists who did it to them apologized and they got turned back into their normal forms. After they ate the scientist's heads first, of course. Their members are:
     
    • Vakama, Toa of Fire. This guy kept receiving "visions" from the "Great Spirit," leading all of the other members of the team to conclude he had had too much "powdered protodermis." Vakama wore the Great Mask of Concealment (LEGO was afraid if they called it a Mask of Invisibility, J.K. Rowling would sue them), and carried a launching device that could shoot LEGO collectibles.
    • Nokama, Toa of Water. Nokama, as said before, was the 2nd-hottest BIONICLE chick ever. Which is kind of creepy when you think about it. Does that mean BIONICLE fans honestly think she's hot?
    • Matau, Toa of Wind, who is the distant evolutionary ancestor of Lewa. When LEGO came up with this guy, they had come to their senses, and thus made him Nokama's boyfriend, rather than team's Mr. Spock.
    • Nuju was the aforementioned Mr. Spock, and the Toa of Ice. More racism, LEGO! He wore the Mask of Ripping Off Certain Other Ice Toa So Bad BIONICLE Geeks Can't Tell Them Apart.
    • Whenua, the Toa of Rock, kept up the great BIONICLE tradition of giving the black guy the lamest mask. However, he did get some neat ax things that fit together, so that kept everyone happy.
    • Onewa was essentially the team's skeptical Han Solo to Vakama's mystic Obi-Wan Kenobi. However, he did NOT wind up marrying Nokama.

     
    Toa Inika/Mahri

    In 2006, the fandom was afraid that LEGO was going to forget about masks altogether, in favor of Piraka faces. LEGO assured them, "Don't worry, you'll have your masks..." and fandom breathed a collective sigh of relief. Then, LEGO continued, "...They just won't be compatible with any other masks ever made, ever!" The infuriated fandom punched LEGO in the face, and did so again when they discovered that the Inika only had 2 types of tools: launchers that shot marbles (or, as LEGO kept referring to them as, "zamor spheres"), and "light-up swords"! Ohh! Light-up! Needless to say, the fandom has never trusted LEGO since. The members of the Inika are:
     
    • Jaller was the red guy, and had the Mask of Fate. When he used it on bad guys, they would start endlessly debating free will against divine preordination, until Jaller snuck up and bashed their heads off. (And with his light up sword!)
    • Nuparu was the first black guy to get a cool mask. Unfortunately, he couldn't leave it lying around, because it was so spiky the Toa who stepped on it would be unreturnable, if you know what we mean. Did we mention he has a mounted marble shooter?
    • Kongu, The horrible, horrible result of a botched plastic surgery, and/or LEGO's attempt to rip off Two-Face. One side looked like some kids stuck it on a hot lightbulb, and other like a bad case of dried skin. Did we mention he has a lightup crossbow?
    • Hahli is supposedly a girl, but it doesn't really matter, because she is nowhere near being the hottest Toa in the universe. Did we mention she once had a mustache?
    • Hewkii: Decided the brown was dumb so he became yellow.
    • Matoro: Matoro is the most venerated canister set in the BIONICLE Universe, because he suffered and died for our ... well, he died for some heroic reason! Remember him! Even if he looks sort of stupid! 
    Tune in next time for Part III, where we tackle the bad guys of BIONICLE!
  17. Sumiki
    Barring unforeseen circumstances, this will be the last edition of Tuesday Tablescraps for a number of weeks, for I will not have access to my parts for that length of time. (More on this later in the week.)
     
    Anyway, this tablescrap was an experiment in effectively utilizing my cache of old purple parts. I realized that I had a bunch of angled plates that went one direction but none of their counterparts - thus leading to the lower leg armor.
     

     
    | |

  18. Sumiki

    The Great Possum

    By Sumiki,

    I'm a Scottish Possum
    I'm a Scottish Possum
    I'm a Scottish Possum
    It's an excuse to floss'em ...
     
    I'm a Scottish Possum
    I'm a Scottish Possum
    I'm a Scottish Possum
    We all love the Possum!
  20. Sumiki

    Graaaaah

    By Sumiki,

    So I clean out my MOCing table and am ready to take pics of all of my MOCs that I hadn't taken pictures of yet, and my camera's batteries die.
     
    No problem, right?
     
    I get new ones. Fresh ones. Just bought, never used before.
     
    So what does my camera decide to do?
     
    Tell me that the batteries are too low to take pictures.
     
    …
     

  21. Sumiki

    Comics

    By Sumiki,

    Comics.
     
    The forum formerly known as Artwork III.
     
    There are those who love the forum and there are those who don't. I don't get the impression that there are very many active members on here who are apathetic on it - it seems like everyone has an opinion, whether or not they express it, and independent of whether or not they are an active comic maker or are entering a work in the comics contest.
     
    I respect comic makers and I sincerely believe that comics are a form of art. But comparing sprite comics to hand drawn comics is just like the proverbial comparison of apples and oranges, or comparing MOCs with epics. Simply put: it's not possible.
     
    "But Sumiki, they're both comics! Why can't we compare?"
     
    Compare all you like, but in the end of the day, it's different. Sprites are, by and large, made by select few members, be they comic makers or otherwise. I can compare pixel art to hand-drawn art all day, because there has to be innate artistic skill to do both. Yes, some comic makers who use other member's sprites have artistic skill, but I'm not going to go as far as to generalize all sprite comics and their makers.
     
    "It takes a lot more time to make a sprite comic than to draw one by hand!"
     
    This right here is a common defense, and on the surface, it seems to make some sense. It is, however, an ignoratio elenchi - an argument wherein one proves or disproves a point which is not at issue. The time it takes to make a sprite comic as compared to a hand-drawn one is totally irrelevant to the quality of the comic. There's no set time that one can make a sprite comic in, and there's no set time that it takes to draw one by hand. A ten-page sprite comic might be heinously bad, but the time it takes to assemble the sprites from the kit might take longer than the by-hand artist who makes an awesome four-page comic in half the time.
     
    If the amount of time poured into any piece of art is the sole indication of its quality, the winner of the comics contest would be whichever one took the longest. There would be no need for a poll in the first place.
     
    "How can you know, or compare? You don't even make sprite comics!"
     
    I don't have to know to be able to compare. Do you have to walk on the Moon to know what it looks like? I didn't think so. Plus, I actually made a few sprite comics in the past, and with very limited software, so I have at least touched the surface of the medium.
     
    Is it easy to make sprite comics look good? Not really. But is it easy to make them? Heck yeah. Anyone - even those who have no artistic ability whatsoever - can make a sprite comic.
     
    "Its easier to make a hand-drawn comic than a sprite comic."
     
    Sprite comics, for the most part, have stock backgrounds that are copied and pasted between frames. The characters, or parts of the characters, are already pre-created on another sheet entirely, ready to be copied and pasted into the comic. While professional hand-drawn comics sometimes do similar things, amateur comic makers on BZPower who draw their comics by hand do so because they don't want to copy and paste the same things like sprite comics are known to do.
     
    "But Sumiki, the time and effort that it takes to make a sprite comic far outdoes the work put into hand-drawn comics!"
     
    Ah, but the effort is the combined labor of the pixel artists, who aren't always necessarily the comic makers. Like I said, I respect the pixel artists and the kit makers for their creative skill, but I can't put them in the same category with the people who use their work to construct their own stories - unless, however, the pixel artists use their own handiwork in their comics.
     
    I think a lot of the issues that people have with the comic makers is that they have a stereotype of being easily enraged. Professional debate quickly seems to degenerate into near-flame wars, and they would if the brave folks who make up the staff of that forum didn't respond to problems with great alacrity.
     
    This entry is not intended to kindle anew the fires of a flame war. If anything, it is my response to many of the arguments that I've seen regarding the sprites-vs.-hand-drawn debate. The contest topic was not the place for it, and before you ask, no, I didn't start it. I try to stay out of drama here.
     
    I don't think I'm being unreasonable if I can sincerely expect everyone to be professional about this and not degenerate the debates and discussion into a slurry of insults hurled hither and thither. I believe that the members can live up to those standards, so please, play nice. There's no reason not to.
  22. Sumiki
    It's time for the poll.
     
    Vote for up to THREE explanations of the nature of my status updates. Vote in the comments. You can only vote once.
     
    Voting will end on January 19th ​at 11:59 PM Eastern. A tiebreaker, if necessary, will be held the following day.
     
     
     
     
     

    - - - - - - - - - -


    Entry 1: You have invented a new form of musical notation, which uses syllables to represent notes. Your status updates are in reality short piano pieces.
     
     
     
     

    -


     
    Entry 2: Written on paper strips are the words. You pull them out of a hat, or several.
     
     
     
     

    -


     
    Entry 3: You ate a Q-fruit from my garden to gain Qtopian powers.
     
     
     
     

    -


     
    Entry 4: Sumiki channels the amazing powers of Vezon, Deadpool, Murdock, and The Mentalist to select the exact and precise words and word order needed.
     
     
     
     

    -


     
    Entry 5: You get them from commercials. Likely, you take every 3rd, 5th or 8th word spoken in the commercial, or something similar. If it was Lhik, it'd obviously be every 13th, not sure what it'd be for you. It's also possible you exclude brand names and the like.
     
     
     
     

    -


     
    Entry 6: Clearly farm animals communicate these phrases to you in your dreams.
     
     
     
     

    -


     
    Entry 7: They are all simply part of an algorithm, one so powerful and so intricate, that if coded correctly could ultimately destroy the very infrastructure of this world, which would let Sumiki's roam the earth wreaking havoc wherever they go. Eventually, with Sumiki Prime (the head Sumiki) as their leader, the Sumiki's would rule the world with enmity and violence using farm animals as tools of war. For him to finish these algorithms would essentially foreshadow the dark and merciless future the Sumiki's have planned for us. That is an incredibly scary thought. I pray that the algorithm will never be completed; otherwise, we are doomed.
     
     
     
     

    -


     
    Entry 8: Surprisingly, it is a simple process that forms highly philosophical messages. Sumiki first takes the first and last notes of a piece by any famous composer (though he is partial at the moment to Chopin), and then converts their tones into a corresponding human pheromone. He then exposes test groups of 400 individuals to this pheromone and records their moods. These moods each have differing corresponding number values on a very special spreadsheet. Sumiki adds these values together and then counts backwards through the Oxford English Dictionary. This is how he obtains the so-called "odd words" in his status updates, so called by those ignorant souls who view his profile with empty minds. He then uses a trained blindfolded Orangutan to pick a book in the Congressional Library and a trained blindfolded spider monkey to pick a page in the book. Sumiki then replaces nouns, verbs and adjectives in that sentence with ones he chose using his pheromone method to convey cryptic snippets of wisdom from his great mind.
     
     
     
     

    -


     
    Entry 9: They are just random. You try to fool us with a well laid plan. But I see through it. Pure randomness meant to distract us from something far more... less random, as it is clearly a plot of deception designed to ensnare our attention. I applaud your efforts, but you have failed.
     
     
     
     

    -


     
    Entry 10: Mere mortals cannot comprehend the mental processes of Sumiki because of their fourth dimensional nature.
     
     
     
     

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    Entry 11: Sumiki listens to Broadway play soundtracks and chooses the 42nd word of the first song over 7 minutes. Repeating this process, he gathers enough words to modify sentences from ancient aramaic texts into wise sayings for the modern age.
  23. Sumiki
    First Place (eight votes) ...
    Lego Obsessionist!

     
    Second Place (three votes) ...
    LewaLew!
    What!? How'd you--!? Oh, well, you may have made it past my plunger locks, the double plunger locks, the laser locks, the electric locks, and the motorized locks, made it past all of my guards and sentries, and broken every BZP rule in the book, but YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT PAST MY TOPIC LOCKS! Why? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! I am the Evil Ogel, Sumiki, and I cannot be stopped!
     

     
     
    ---------------
     
    Congratulations to the winners and to all the entrants. Lego Obsessionist's image will be used first, followed by LewaLew's, and then any runners-up I find funny.
  24. Sumiki

    "Ċool Dude"

    By Sumiki,

    You know, I have noticed an issue in the forum software, and it has to do with the word filter. Don't get me wrong, I like the filter, it keeps bad, bad things from coming to BZP, but the word that changes to "Cool Dude" in the filter simply has got to go. I have four reasons why:
     
    1. It's designed so people don't get their feelings hurt by having someone call them that, but in reality, it's extremely rare for a person to be called that.
    2. There are plenty of other synonyms that are just as bad: "Moron", "Nincompoop", "Nitwit", "Dunderwhelp", "Gongoozler", "Micrencephalus", or "Gink".
    3. Everyone knows that "Cool Dude" is just the filter. (Comparison: a cool dude [non-filter] vs. an cool dude [filter].)
    4. Every BZP member knows what it means and have heard it in the real world before, undoubtedly countless times.
     
    In my opinion, and based on the reasons above, I suggest that the administration remove the "cool dude" filter, and punish members when they insult other members or set designers, and not when they use that word to describe themselves. What's so bad about saying that you're a "cool dude"?
     
    -=< >=-
  25. Sumiki
    Toxic Waste Bunny was a regular bunny who found his way into a landfill. After being dunked in toxic waste, he came out taller, multicolored, with three ears, two and a half arms, and another eyeball. Today, Toxic Waste Bunny is a celebrity and heads a large company known as Toxic Waste Industries. They invent new uses for Toxic Waste and possum fur.
     
    Toxic Waste Bunny is also well-known on television. His first show was known as Off-Ramp, hosted by TWB underneath a highway exit. After three seasons, Off-Ramp moved to the Toxic Waste Bunny Network, aimed at the possum population. It also has such shows as Wheel of Luncheon, where possums spin a wheel and eat whatever is on that part of the wheel if the possum guesses a letter in the word "possum". Other shows include Grandpa Earl's The Legend of Rope, Late Night with Toxic Waste Bunny, Eye Pus Cooking with Alfred Chipmunk, Polluted Possum Show, Survivor: Possum, Brillo Pads, and Possum Olympics.
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