Brickeens

I found it a bit hard to follow the first time I read it. Some shading would help clarity a lot, as at first sight it can be hard to tell what's what in more detailed panels, like the 4th. Nice details, though. I really like those airships.I'm currently in the very slow process of decoding that message. I don't know how you had the patience to do all that out.

Happy birthday, man.

Member name: BrickeensEntry name: LightkeepersEntry URL: Page 1 Page 2Entry topic: HereEntry thumbnail:

This is my entry to Comics Contest #1. I think this is the first time I've ever posted a serious comic on BZP, so comments are very much appreciated.

IC: Carraig"Yes, he was definitely a Toa of Stone. And he did have claws." Carraig also looked around, sincerlely hoping the Toa would not return. "He was wearing a hooded cloak, so I couldn't make out much of his face. How do you know of him?"

IC: Carraig"It's not safe out here." Carraig said, looking down again at the cloaked Matoran. "In fact, I wouldn't advise you to walk Ko-Wahi alone. We... ran into an unpleasant character earlier."

IC: Carraig"He was attacked by a Muaka." Carraig moved a little away from the Matoran, who was getting a little too close for comfort. "And my name is Carraig."

IC: Carraig"I'm very sorry." Carraig glanced behind Sumiki's shoulders. "But speaking of powers, what about those disks? I've never seen powered--"He was interrupted by a greeting from a figure who had seemingly materialized beside their group. It was a navy colored Matoran."Hello." He replied, stiffly. "We're heading towards Ko-Koro." He did his best to relax. She seemed to be walking unnervingly close.

IC: Carraig"What's the problem? Can't you absorb and regenerate more?"

IC: Carraig"I'm a Toa of Stone." Carraig answered, looking back over at the strangely armored figure. "And what about you? Are you a Toa of Iron?"

IC: CarraigCarraig watched as the two Toa began to duel. "I don't think that Toa of Ice is after us. Let's get out of here before anyone else shows up."

OOC: I never thought about what composition Carraig's sword is. Does it make a lot of difference whether it's protosteel or another metal?IC: Carraig"When we get to the Koro, you can go your own way. What we're doing is not of your concern." Carraig had no intention of telling the Toa more than he needed to know. He hoped they would reach the Koro soon.

OOC: Oh, sorry. I didn't realize the cloak had a hood, and I assumed there were traces of infection on his Kanohi.IC: Carraig"Yes. We're going to the Koro." Carraig waved his sword forward. "Get walking."

IC: CarraigCarraig hoped Cantai and Sumiki were ready for a fight. The Toa seemed completely on edge, trembling as he spoke. He pushed his sword back into the figure's path. "I don't want your gems. And if you want to travel with us, you walk in front of me."

IC: CarraigBefore Cantai had a chance to speak, Carraig stepped in front of him, sword drawn. Everything about the cloaked Toa seemed wrong. His body was twisted and damaged, his Kanohi appeared infected, and he had a manic look in his eyes."Why do you want to travel with us?" He growled.

IC: CarraigCarraig broke his silence. "I'm heading towards Ko-Koro, too, so I might as well accompany you."

IC: Carraig"You're welcome." The Toa of Stone paused. "My name is Carraig."

Yeah, I couldn't do everything I wanted to with the creator.I'm well aware that the buffalo and the cows are much closer to reality, but I still feel that seeing as Cranky is a donkey and thus related to ponies that he should be closer to their style than than anything else. Iunno, I just can't help disliking the way he's represented.

I don't think I'm getting my point across. Of course Cranky's going to be different if he's a Donkey, but I think they went way too far with making him different. Have a look at this:I made that on the pony creator. Let's say that's young Cranky, because I couldn't age him. Now, compare that to young Cranky in the show:Can you see how different he is to the ponies and their style now? Even when he's young, he's got bony looking legs, a very different head shape to the ponies, nostrils sticking out, and a pretty different looking tail as well. I just think it's silly that the ponies have their lovely sleek designs and come in all the colors of the rainbow, and then these donkeys have contrastingly realistic features and are limited to real life colors. Why shouldn't they share the lovely stylization? You'll probably all think I'm mad going on like this, but I just find that sort of thing really annoying.

Cranky was just old. I mean, Granny Smith isn't exactly winning any awards for outer beauty.

Thanks so much for the extended deadline, chaps. I'm working on my entry.

Am I the only one who's really jarred by the way they portrayed the donkeys? You've got the ponies, who are very sleek and nice looking, and then you've got the donkeys, or even the cows, who look so different you'd think they're from a different cartoon. It looks like the animators or designers went out of their way to make them look ugly.

The legs... do seem a bit open. How did I not notice that they were so open? Great, now that's going to be bothering me. HURRR ANOTHER GREAT TESTAMENT TO MY INTELLIGENCE AND EYESIGHT

My new favorite part is the legs. Those are way better than last time. They're solid, good looking, and they match the body much better, because of how mechanical they look.I'd like to see new feet, and I'd get rid of those metru lower legs, as they seem a bit contrary to the rest of the build. But the rest of the legs are great.The torso is still nice. The pilot's legs are still exposed, but he does look a lot more protected than last time. The rollcage helps a lot there. Nice work with that tubing, too.I think the arms are the only area that haven't kept up with the rest. They are a bit better than before, but they have big holes in them and they don't look as mechanical as the rest. If you followed your leg technique on the arms, that would probably help a lot.Anyway, great work, Squish. I like it a lot and you've really improved it, so well done.

IC: CarraigHe could see the Muaka clearly now. It was a fine, huge beast, but there was no time to admire its physique. The grey Toa it was after was doing his best to fend it off with a pair of intriguing powered disks, but his attempts seemed to be making the beast even more furious.Carraig hoped he could scare the creature off without having to hurt it. As ferocious as it was, he had no wish to cause it harm. Putting his sword on his back, he outstretched his arms. Underneath the thick layer of snow, the ground was rocky, and would answer his powers over stone. As the Muaka lumbered towards the grey Toa, Carraig swiftly brought the ground up underneath its feet, knocking the large creature onto its side.As he did so, he thought he saw a white figure approaching from his left. Was help coming?