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(Daedalus)

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Blog Comments posted by (Daedalus)

  1. Interests:

    - Video games: Deus Ex series, Mass Effect series, Bioshock Infinite, Knights of the Old Republic (1 and 2), Dark Souls (first one only; haven't played the second), Mirror's Edge.

    - Hobbies: Reading, writing, gaming

    - Star Wars

    - Audio dramas: Adventures in Odyssey and the Father Gilbert mysteries in particular.

     

    BZP activity: Minimal these days as I am currently writing a novel and don't have the time for multiple leisure pursuits, but I was most active in the Bionicle RPGs. My favorite of my own characters are Faora from the BZPRPG and Von Worten from Bionifight: Infinite.

     

    Other: I'm an Apostolic Pentecostal Christian.

     

    Current activities: Writing a Christian fantasy-ish novel, playing the Mass Effect games, and, uh, not much else, really.

  2. *Incoming Transmission*

     

    I hope this solution works for me. I've really been wanting to participate, but school and all the projects that come with it have been taking up a lot of my time, especially since I'm having to cram four years of high school into two-and-a-half years (the high school portion of the private school I am attending is closing down, so I'm trying to finish school before that).

     

    *End Transmission*

  3. *Incoming Transmission*

     

    Wait, is that supposed to be "Conspicious" or "Conspicuous"? If the former, what does it mean?

     

    If it is the latter, what does it have to do with the story itself? Also, what does justice have to do with the story? I'm not against either name, but part of the reason I have a hard time naming stories is because I want the title to have something to do with the story itself; I want the title to subtly allude to something in the story.

     

    Also note that I am not saying that either title has nothing to do with the story; I would just like to hear why you guys have chosen the titles you have.

     

    *End Transmission*

  4. Kevin woke up. He slowly opened his eyes and saw a massive warrior and a dog. He exhaustedly lifted his head. What happened? On closer look, Kevin found that the "dog" was in fact a wolf. He tried to think of what to do, but he something in his body didn't feel right. He heard a voice, and a growl, and then a stern voice-probably the warrior-yell back at the first. Kevin tried to get up, but immediately the ground shook. He looked up to see the warrior swinging a huge battle axe at the creature who had emitted the voice. To his surprise, it was ugly and large, its voice nothing to hint about it's appearance. It was obviously more technologically advanced, as bullets pinged toward the warrior.

     

     

    *Incoming Transmission*

     

    Tell me what you think about the changes. That was just the way I thought it should be done, but feel free to make the changes you guys think should be done. Also, in the bold sentence, am I the only who thinks that the wording could be slightly improved? I mean, it gets the point across, and it is no way incorrect, but I just feel it could be worded differently. Again, only an opinion. Tell me what you guys think.

     

    *End Transmission*

  5. *Incoming Transmission*

     

    Crase did his best not to scream. He strained, and willed himself to disconnect from that chaotic mess. When everything returned to normal, Crase found himself on one knee, the energy drained from his body.

     

    The titan shook his head. "What was that?"

     

    Crase rose slowly and painfully. That was a very good question, and though he had no answer, he knew that whatever it was had almost broken his mind.

     

    *End Transmission*

  6. *Incoming Transmission*

     

    It's okay, Hawk Six. I actually like the way this is going a bit more than I would had he fully responded to that. That part can be edited later when we are putting this whole thing together.

     

    "What--!"

     

    The mecha was distracted for a brief moment, and that was just what the titan needed. He swung his huge fist forward into the mecha's body, crushing in the mecha's chest and sending it flying backward toward the edge of a cliff. The titan quickly rose and charged toward the mecha. The mecha began to rise, but the titan did not let it. He swung his fist again, this time connecting with the mecha's head. The mecha lurched up and back, landing at the very edge of the cliff.

     

    "While he is under our protection," the titan rumbled, "you... won't... touch him." With a simple push, the titan sent the mecha's upper body over the edge, it's weight dragging the rest of it's body with it.

     

    I will let you, KNI, decide if Arcanios and Virgil know Crase, or if he just showed up.

     

    Also, I think I should let you guys know that I might have limited access to the internet for a while. I am currently having to use my dad's computer because the video card on mine took a dump. So I apologize ahead of time, just in case.

     

    *End Transmission*

  7. *Incoming Transmission*

     

    Okay, forget my last post. But before I post the next paragraph, two things: (1.) I'm going to assume that magic can be used (Arcanios used magic to cover Virgil with armor in the story he is in); and (2.) The guy Arcanios and Virgil are protecting is Kevin, unless you guys can think of better way to incorporate him into the story.

     

    "Have it your way." A man materialized not far from Arcanios and Virgil. Both turned toward the man, but before they could act, the man gestured, and a wave of energy slammed into them, sending them tumbling backward.

     

    Hm, maybe we should allow ourselves to do more paragraphs in order to have a bit more control over how we want a particular part to play out. We could do a maximum of three paragraphs or something. That way we can have a bit more liberty per turn without any one person taking full control of the story. Just a suggestion. Yes? No?

     

    *End Transmission*

  8. *Incoming Transmission*

     

    I'm here, I'm here!

     

    Just read all the previous posts, and to KNI: That is a good idea, but a problem with that is difference in style. Generally, as writers, our styles are different. That's what makes us unique. Now, it would be fine in an epic; the difference in style won't be so incredibly noticeable since it would be broken up in chapters. I fear, however, that if we each write an equal portion of a short story, it will be a bit more noticeable. Of course, we do have quite a bit of time until the deadline, so we could try it out and see how it goes.

     

    That's what I think, anyways.

     

    *End Transmission*

  9. *Incoming Transmission*

     

    Eh, here is mine.

     

    Dylan slowly traced his finger along the table's edge as everyone yelled at him. Well, he thought everyone was yelling at him. It might just be his brother. His abusive brother, Kyle, the one whose father did not stop him when he began to beat Dylan.

     

    Dylan's sisters sat on the couch, staring at him with those hateful eyes. His dad stared at Kyle with a look in his eyes that was almost respect. Dylan hated that.

     

    "Are you even listening to me?" Kyle shouted, right in Dylan's face.

     

    Dylan lifted his near-lifeless eyes up to his brother, but he did not answer. Instead, he turned toward the table, leaning on it.

     

    "I asked you a question!" Kyle yelled, swinging his fist wide toward the back of Dylan's head.

     

    Dylan did not try to dodge it. There was no point. Kyle's fist smacked so hard into Dylan's head that his whole upper body lurched forward, sending his face into the table with a thud.

     

    Dylan immediately knew his brother was not done, and he knew that the next blow would also be on the back of his head. He didn't really want that, no. So he rolled sideways off the table, doing his best to ignore the pain in his face.

     

    Kyle's fist slammed into the table with a crack, and Kyle howled. Probably broke his hand. Too bad for him.

     

    Dylan ran toward the door.

     

    "Boy!" his father yelled at him. "You haven't finished your chores! Don't you dare run out that--"

     

    But Dylan did not stop to listen. He ran straight out the door.

     

    As he ran across the lawn, Dylan heard his dad yelling.

     

    "You better not come back, boy, if you ain't gonna appreciate what I do for you and go and run away! You hear me...?"

     

    His voice faded away. Dylan ran all the way to the bridge over the river. The river was fast and had a terrible undercurrent. Perfect.

     

    Dylan slowed at the bridge. He though of his brother. His father. His sisters, who had both, at some point, tried to drown him when he was younger. That wasn't worth it. None of it was.

     

    He jumped.

     

    I'm not sure where exactly the talent is in that little story, but whatever.

     

    *End Transmission*

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