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------------THIS ENTRY BROUGHT TO YOU BY------------ ---------------------------------------------------- Moar uppdaytz:EMC#7: Shard Moons -- go and post! Your task? Describe the elemental moons of the EM planet Clysmax. We'd previously had this as an open question in the Discussion topic, but now we've turned it into a separate mini-contest. Go! Why Bionicle's Return is Likely -- GD essay topic. Go read and take it to heart! Bionicle is actually quite likely to return! Just not right now. Taxes be done yay bye now on to "more important" things lol... In case you're wondering, about my LDD Bionicle contest, yes, both the new HF pieces and the existing LU mode are now allowed for it. Seriously go there and maketh stuff, there's literally zero entries so far!
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So, making poetry is fun and it's been a while since I've done any on my blog. But this turned out to be more of poetic prose. Technically I believe it's considered a "short short story." Anyways, enjoy, and you get extra points if you figure out what the title means. Transillumination Last in line at grocery checkout, shortest line open but short isn't the word. Running late. First in line's an old lady moving very slow. Very doesn't cut it. Extremely. Many groceries. Unloading slow. Tick. I comment quietly, to the man ahead of me who just calmly checked his watch. Tock. He doesn't face me. Doesn't seem at first to hear me. Then he says, just loud enough that I can hear but the old woman cannot, just one word. "Transillumination," he says. "What?" I ask. "Transillumination, around the fifteenth circling up behind and about twenty... seven? Yes, twenty-seven and seventeen. Plus negative one... no, never mind that last bit. Definately twenty-seven and seventeen. Hamburger... No, cheeseburger with lettuce, onions, and a calculator." So he's insane. He looks a little dirty, wears a big gray overcoat, never used a razor apparently. The watch looks cheaper now. A bum. The cart, he'd probably brought in with him and would take with him too. I should've kept my mouth shut. He glances back at me as if to make sure I'm listening. I try to look like I'm not. The bum holds out his hands and types in the air, staring silently at me for a moment. "Case in point," he says. "After about four... maybe five, maybe three or a million, you say that... Well, let's recompose..." He continues to stare at my face as he speaks, keeps typing the air. "There's a knock at the door. Doorbell rings if you have one. It doesn't if you don't. You put down the cheeseburger. You answer the door." He nods to himself and mercifully turns forward again, watching the old lady, but he just keeps on talking to himself, won't quit. "Yes, twenty-seven and seventeen, I'm sure of it." Drops his hands to his size and acts normal except for his moving mouth. "If you had a screen door, it's gone. You don't see it even if you have one of those windows in your door, until you've swung the door wide open. It's an eye. A giant eye, much bigger than your door. You can't tell if, like the eye of Sauron, it's unlidded or lidded, except that it never blinks. You can't tell if it's a right eye or a left eye. You see no hint of a nose, an eyebrow, or anything except the eye. It's pressed up so close to the doorframe you cannot see around it." The old woman finally starts paying her bill. Fumbling through her purse slowly. "The eye is made of metallic wood. Yes, I said metallic wood. The circle of color around the pupil is blue -- not a human blue but a dark, pure blue with no hint of depth or texture -- just the solid color blue. The pupil... The pupil is black. Jet black, pitch black, these are not the right words. Pure black. No light reflects off the pupil. It pulls in everything. Red, green, blue, heat... even cold, though it doesn't affect the room's temperature itself." The man appears to shudder. "The eye stares directly at your eyes... or seemingly between your eyes and a little above, at your forehead. It never blinks. It just watches." The bum waves a hand. "You reach out to close the door, hand shaking. But the door explodes into splinters at your touch. As if it had been sliced and diced, invisibly, and restacked there just waiting for you to knock it off balance. It even seemed like the pieces were springloaded. Looking down in the rubble you see little metal coils here and there, and you wonder how you never saw them before. Through the wood. Or whatever material your door is made of." The bum backs up a step, bumping my cart. Steps back forward, apologizing under his breath. "You back away. But the eye advances. Crumbling through your walls, ceiling, floor. It moves forward through your house. You turn and run. Glance back. It's following, demolishing your house on the way." The old lady finally finishes paying and leaves. The bum walks forward and starts unloading his groceries. But he keeps talking, at the same volume. I can tell the clerk can hear, but tries not to look like it. The man keeps glancing back to make sure I'm listening... or to make sure the clerk knows who he's talking to, perhaps. I try to look small. "You retreat to the farthest room, and the eye moves forward, destroying everything. The hardest materials, the strongest metals, all of it crumbles. At the widest parts of your house, you look back hoping to see lids or a nose with this giant eye, but the metallic wood part just seems to stretch beyond all of it. When you try to go towards your back door it angles around and blocks that way too. Finally you reach the last corner of your house and the eye bears down on you." The man gets out his wallet. "You close your eyes. Then open them." Hands the clerk some money. "The eye is gone. Your house is fine." Signs the receipt. I can't help it -- I look, but it's illegible. "The next day, you're walking casually along and some kid bumps into you, then runs away apologizing. There's nobody else on the street. You didn't see his face, or really notice even how he was dressed. He turns a corner and he's gone." The bum pulls away and I start unloading my groceries. Waiting for the bum to leave so I can comment on him to the clerk. The clerk appears to feel the same way. But the bum doesn't leave. He walks forward a few paces, and raises his voice just enough that I can still hear him over the crinkle and thumps of the groceries. "Later when you try to pull out your wallet, you find out it's gone, and you immediately realize the kid was a pickpocket. But there were no witnesses, or so it would seem." Finally the bum starts moving, but he turns one last time to add, "You know better." And he leaves. "What a weirdo," I mutter. The clerk smiles. "Twenty-seven and seventeen," the clerk says. I stare. "What?" "That's what it comes to." "Oh. Right." I feel for my wallet, suddenly afraid it's gone. Sigh in relief. It's still there.
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Various little updates on S&T, EM, and other stuff: 1) See the blog entry below for the Denizens Tiebreaker. Sorry for the delay, that crazy ole' real life again. On the plus side, that computer is fixed. Think it'll be a month before it conks out this time? XD And sorry for pushing the tiebreaker off the top spot with this entry; I felt this shouldn't be delayed. I plan to repub the tiebreaker tomorrow morning. 2) I'm for Kinetics as a canon element (there's a poll about it now). If anyone's curious, I gave my reasons, including an extensive list of responses to the most common points being brought up against it, here. Basically, it creates interesting new story potential that's very much about imagination and use of the brain in battle, which is what IMO it should be about. There's a lot of face-off scenarios it inspires, many of which I mention in there, that I would love to see in the storyline, or have "sanctioned" by canon for fanfic inspiration purposes. Also, it's the only remaining major type of energy that has not been added to the list, along the lines of gravity, magnetism, light, etc. so to be consistent, it makes sense to be in there. If loses (and currently it is losing), though, I won't mind. It's in the EM, and in my own fanfics too. 3) The new Farshtey Feed topic in S&T is up and is pinned! Check 'tout! 4) The OGD has been unpinned, also. Open up S&T and have a look at the OGD's new title decoration, BTW, intended to make it easy to spot amongst the other topics (pinned or not). What do yall think? Silly? Useful? Silly AND useful? Maybe something more like "Official Greg Dialogue ------ { O G D }" would still be easy to spot but less annoying? (And that wouldn't show up in the forum index; the current way does, which is a little annoying.) Or maybe something else? 4) The Greg Team account has no avatar or banner. What should they look like? Any idears? 5) And yes, I know, I keep missing the midnight closure times for polls and such. When I say "closes at midnight", it means "closes no earlier than midnight, and as soon as I have a chance after that point which is probably noon the next day lately". Any votes that sneak in in that time are valid. But I'll try to stop forgetting this. 6) Lotsa people have been begging to know when the Tyrants entry list will get updated. Guys, unless you're going to be away from a computer for a week anytime soon, please stop worrying about this. The extra editing period will be at least a week after the entry list is updated, so anyone who needs to fix anything will have plenty of time to do so (and someoone will PM those members). If, on the other hand, you ARE going to be away for a week or more soon, just let me know and I'll try to look at yours early.
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Today the Bones Blog brings you a simple psychological exercise I have often found beneficial, which can help you learn to enjoy new things better. Bold is for the basic points. This was originally posted in response to someone who argued for imposing negative personal tastes on others. I do not agree with imposing tastes on others, but in reply to him I pointed out that by that logic, we could argue that it's far better for the majority to try to change the disgruntled majority to like what they dislike. I had a long leadup to the following pointing out that obvious flaw in the person's argument, which I don't want to quote here. Suffice to say, I do think encouraging others to try to enjoy things better is a good thing, as long as you keep in mind they might not be able to, genetically (many tastes are learned, and thus can change by choice to some degree). Full context here. One thing from there to keep in mind here is that the point of entertainment is NOT as some make it to find as many things to complain about as possible, but instead to find as many things to enjoy as possible. Not that all complainers consciously think otherwise, but many seem to behave as if they subconsciously think this. For criticism to truly be constructive, this is one of many things you have to keep in mind (the other main one being considering what the majority wants, not just what we each personally want). Also keep in mind that negativity is not some whimsical fantasy harmless mindset -- it involves poisonous emotion-chemicals and mind-patterns that can have minor and sometimes serious side effects. Anything we can do to avoid negativity (without fearing constructive criticism or honesty, mind you) is beneficial. So it's in the interest of possibly helping yall improve in this way that I bring you this entry. So, on to the exercise: ------------------------------------- I have a mental exercise I go through all the time, where I envision a "pitch volume bar [i mean, a group of bars, technically]". If you ever seen this setting control in some music programs on the computer or on sound boards or the like -- different pitches have different controls, so you could for example make bass pitch low volume but higher pitches higher volume, or turn up the moderate bass only, or turn up only the lowest bass for a subwoofer effect, etc. The point of this is that some of the bars I've seen display a center line, and positive levels of volume above that center line are green bars extending up above it (representing positive tastes here -- but specifically tastes I have developed, NOT genetic tastes, -- yet I consider all of tastes to be developed for the sake of the exercise; read on), and others are negative red bars extending below it (representing negative tastes). As I encounter something new, I have a preset taste setup, with some tastes being already set to positive, and others already set to negative. If I'm used to something, for example, I might react negatively to an "opposite" style. If I got used to primitive setting for example on Mata Nui, I might have allowed myself to develop a strong affection for that style by the very method of developing a strong dislike for the opposite -- advanced style. So when Metru Nui comes along, I might be tempted to dislike its style. The bar for that taste is hanging down, red. But in the exercise, I temporarily forget about whether my dislike is genetic or not, and I purposefull throw out all my tastes for a moment. I equalize all the taste bars at zero, neither green nor red, so all I have is a simple flat line across the board, with no bars at all but with little "dashes" of yellorange along the line. Then, I apply four rules as steps in this order: 1) Imagine all the bars going up simultaneously into the green. 2) Imagine them all going UP ALL THE WAY. 3) Thus imagine myself enjoying the new thing. 4) Then, allow some bars to access my genetic tastes and sink down a little if needed to be more accurate to my "real" tastes. So some taste-bars will be lower than others, but I try to remove the reds, see? Others are farther into the green. This accomplishes all these things: 1) It deletes my learned negative tastes. 2) It also eradicates negativity, which is harmful to the psyche and even to the body, replacing it with beneficial emotions that improve the mind, attitude, emotions, sanity, and even physical health (due to placebo power). 3) It even strengthens my learned positive tastes! 4) It allows me to learn new positive tastes. 5) It also allows me to be more honest and true to my actual genetic tastes. It's possible that as time goes on one or two of the genetic negatives will sink into the red as I get bored with the style or whatnot. If so, I will let it happen, because I tried, most times, in favor of moving on to enjoy other things that are into my positive tastes. (This would represent leaving Bionicle/BZP, if you find that there's nothing for you, or at least leaving the feedback topics on BZP since you simply accept that it's not for you. [Also, you could avoid feedback topics about the specific aspect of Bionicle that displeases you and that objectively has been shown that it shouldn't change due to the majority liking it, but go into feedback topics about other things, etc.)] Even so, the negative tastes won't be so far down into the red, because I am focusing on other things I do like. Overall, I will still be practiciing healthy positivity. I dunno if this works for other people, but it's certainly worth a try. ------------------------------------- Now, this doesn't have to, of course, be done exactly how I envision it. Though envisioning something does help, at least for visual people like moi. The basic idea is, consciously throw away your learned tastes when you're encountering something new, and try as top priority to enjoy it to the fullest. I have the theory that using this basic method, it's possible to enjoy virtually all styles for what they're worth. It could also be that I simply have a genetic preference for variety more than other people, I dunno. So far I have never found a style I cannot like at least a little, and many styles I used to dislike I have come to enjoy.
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Secure Password Method -- Bang (strategically) On Keyboard
bonesiii posted a blog entry in blogs_blog_39
A lot of people don't seem to know about this method, so here you go. Been meaning to do this for a while, recent events merely reminded me. Note, please take into account the suggestions mentioned in this Refdesk topic. Also HH has good tips here. The most secure passwords are random strings of as wide a range of keyboard characters as possible. An easy way to create them is to bang on your keyboard. It sounds primitive -- it is -- yet it gives you the most secure possible password. The only downside is you must record it somewhere, or memorize it, but I recommend copying it to paper; if you use if often enough you will probably memorize it anyways. So instead of agonizing over coming up with new passwords -- or worse using easily guessable ones -- just bang on the keyboard! For added security, though, here are several easy techniques to make it more strategic than just a random bang. 1) Make it long. Maximum possible if you can; unfortunately some sites limit passwords to twelve characters or so, which is IMO stupid but they do it. 2) Bang on the letters area AND the numbers area. 3) Make sure you're not just banging up and down in the same few spots. Cover the whole keyboard randomly. (Of course, avoid the F# buttons and other things such as the "Shut Down the Computer Instantly And Ruin All Your Unsaved Work Just Because A Cat Happened To Step On Your Keyboard" button if you have a keyboard from Stupid Design Enterprises™ like my other comp does.) For this I recommend slowing the process down, so you randomly bang, then consciously move your hands, then bang again, etc. until you have a long password. 4) Alternate holding and letting up on Shift as you bang, so that you get a mix of capital letters and symbols too. 5) Alternate holding the keyboard backwards, so the side that's normally away from you is closer to you, just so you don't get predictable finger-relation patterns. Though hackers would need to be super mathemeticians on the level of Charlie Eps on Numbers to use such patterns. Still. If you do Step 3 well enough this isn't necessary though. 6) Once you've got a long string, look for often-repeated characters and delete them. Also make a note to yourself to avoid hitting them so frequently in the future; if that happens often you're not doing Step 3 well enough. However, if it's fairly rare, leave them be, as a truly random string is quite capable of having repeated characters and if you interfere too closely you're probably making it easier to hack, not harder. 7) If you wanna go supersecure, bring in a few foreign characters (Insert Symbol option on Microsoft Word has a lot of 'em for example), although then you can't type it. Well, I've heard these have keyboard shortcuts sometimes but no idea what they are -- you could research that and stuff. But make sure you just randomly put a few in, and don't reuse the same ones. Also, don't use only these; remember the idea is to have a wide range of characters. Other advice, do NOT store it anywhere online. Especially not in email accounts, and never use the same password twice (see the web page the Refdesk topic links to). Assuming you haven't memorized it, you have two basic options IMU. One, store it in a text file on your hard drive, recommend naming it something illogical to have anything to do with passwords and bury in lots of other text. Then when you need to sign in, copypaste it to the password area. (You could write it on paper too as a hard backup, of course.) (Many people including HH advise against this, but aren't factoring for keyloggers, see below.) Two, write it on paper only, and physically type it in every time you need it. This is harder, and might be less secure in the case of keylogger viruses, which record keystrokes and can send them to the makers of the virus. On the other hand, if a hacker got into your files the other method could be equally risky. So which of these two you choose may not matter much, far as I know (and I don't claim to be a professional this is just based on everything I've heard/read over the years). What I recommend strongly AGAINST is storing it on the computer AND typing it in, as that puts you at risk of both ways for a hacker/virus writer to get it. The chances of either method or even the third one happening to you are rare, but better safe than... 8) Another idea to avoid both the above risks is to type it from paper, but use a random "count how many I've typed, skip characters, then count back and insert the missing characters" pattern, which you should probably write out in detail and diagram on paper instead of trying it from memory. This adds a level of security that could only realistically be thwarted if a hacker logged keypresses, mouse clicks, and where exactly you clicked. No idea if that's much harder for hackers lol, but it's further complexity and a normal keylogger is guaranteed not to break it right away. 9) In fact, you could even use a randomly shifting group of skip and insert patterns that you cycle or the like if you're REALLY paranoid. Or just periodically change your pattern. Unfortunately both methods 8 and 9 take the "easy" claim mostly out the window, but if you plan it properly, it's not much harder. My best advice, though, is this -- if you think these more complex ideas are too hard -- BANG ON YOUR KEYBOARD NOW. That, at least, is so kindergarteney easy with such great results there's no excuse to put off changing your password. Finally, change it often. Your idea of passwords online should NOT be something you memorize and then just use forever, IMO, but of something you must periodically change intended to keep your online stuff safe. The old simple memorizing idea is a nice gesture, and maybe in ancient times it worked fine, but it doesn't necessarily anymore. (On the other hand, a passphrase is still more secure than a password, so that idea hasn't entirely gone out of usefulness, but like I said, many sites limit your password max length to ridiculously low amounts, so phrases don't really work there; in that case I recommend not risking easily memorizable words, and you'd better be able to memorize the random string anyways.) Yarr. I intend to repub this several times in future. In other news, tons of work on the EM is happening. It rocks. Yay and stuff. -
The Arena Method of Writing Today the Bones Blog brings you the writing method that not only avoids writer's block, but creates a realistic, believable, and enjoyable plotline and story that is fun both for the reader to read and the writer to write. The Arena Method is my term for what I consider the perfect way to write a story. GregF has commented that this basic idea is how he writes Bionicle story -- this is my take on it. I'll introduce the concept, list the rules of the method as I see them, and then walk you through the steps of the method. If this entry strikes you as an impenetrable wall of text, skip down to the Summary section at the end. Bold is used here somewhat for important points as usual but mostly for organization purposes. Enjoy! Introduction In the Arena Method of writing, as author your job is to develop characters, settings, cool mysteries, artifacts, stuff in general, etc., figure out characters' various goals and plans, and choose an inciting incident. After that point, your only job is to devote time thinking, brainstorming, and writing down what would logically happen from there. Your job is to sort of set up a domino effect, and then knock over the first domino -- except in this arena of cause and effect, you as author do not know what will happen! Not for sure, anyways. Put simply, you build an "arena", fill it with characters, and then you allow the characters to drive the plot forward. With the arena method, the story writes itself! Before I tell you more about what is it, what is the Arena Method NOT? Tedious outlines. Plot devices. Killing off characters. Writer's block. Criticisms of unrealism. Forcing the story. Pointless stories. Meaninglessness. Lack of characterization. Just a bunch of explosions. Tedious writing process. Tedious rewriting process. Tediousness in general. Predictable endings. Boring beginnings. Lack of suspense. No fun involved. Mythbusters busting what you said happened. If you use the Arena method correctly, none of the above will have anything to do with your story. Nobody could fairly accuse you of killing off a character, for example, because you didn't control the events of the story. Well, okay, the mythbusters still might bust what you said happened, but that would be a high achievement in and of itself. :-P Most importantly, the Arena Method does NOT involve the author writing towards an ending heshe already thought up. Ideally, the author will be just in the dark about how the story ends as the reader will be when reading. This is the secret to a fun and streamlined writing process. When you as author already know what you'll end your story with, it's much harder to motivate your mind to do the actual work needed to get there. Writer's Block is perhaps the worst symptom of that mistaken idea -- you either aren't sure how to get to the end you wanted, or you are worrying too much on trying to plan your end anyways. Now, to be clear, I do often write down theories as to how the story will probably end. But the key here is that they are only theories. If, in the course of writing, something else would logically happen, then that is what MUST happen. Ground Rules: 1) Make an "Author's Guide" that sets up the arena your story will play out in. Take notes about the world and characters before you start writing. Aim for cool and interesting. Keep your notes concise, simple, easy to reference later. Review your notes often in your mind before you begin writing and as you write. 2) Pick an inciting incident -- the first moment of trouble that pulls the trigger on the chain reaction that follows throughout the rest of your story. It doesn't have to be huge, and it might not necessarily be obvious right away why this moment is the trigger. But it must NOT be mere introduction to the world. It must introduce the conflict of the story, or the reader will not be engaged. 3) Begin the story immediately at the inciting incident. No ifs ands or buts about it -- your reader needs to know by the third paragraph -- first if you can -- that conflict has begun. And they should have a sense of what that conflict might be, too. This part might be the hardest in any method, as it is the most crucial. To use the sports analogy, this is when the game begins in your arena. There might be leadup and planning before this moment, but this is when the action really starts. 4) Whatever logically would happen from that point on, MUST happen. You MUST write down what your brain is telling you would happen. Not what you hope happens, not what you think the audience wants to read, but what WOULD happen. Believability is your goal, and this is how you get there. 5) NEVER do an info dump for the reader's sake. If you mention the fictional government of your world, don't launch into paragraph upon paragraph, or even two sentences, of explaining this government. It should be made clear naturally from the way the narration, dialogue, or thoughts flow. And if it isn't made immediately clear, it can always be expanded on eventually. You might think "but the reader will want to know what I'm talking about!" Yes -- but that is not the reader's top priority. Top priority is to enjoy what they're reading, and usually the only people that like to read textbook style explanations are the author himherself or writers of textbooks. :-P Readers want to learn about your arena the same way they would as if they were eavesdropping on a conversation -- they want to pick it up themselves. Now, this rule is a bit more flexible than the others. Later in the story sometimes it is okay to do this sparingly, and a few words of explanation might actually BE necessary anywhere. But by a few words I mean like three. 6) Avoid guiding the plot like the plague. In fairness, sometimes you might have an overall story arc that demands certain things happen, so you might have to guide the plot sometimes. The problem with this is, readers can usually tell. It's better to make sure your arena is already set up to make it likely to happen than to suddenly do something out of the blue to rescue your characters from a situation artificially. The cliche way to say this is to avoid Deus Ex Machina, the plot device where something or someone that wasn't introduced previously suddenly shows up to save the day. Doesn't mean a character can't show up to save another character, but only if it would realistically happen given the stage you've developed. Usually you want to make super sure you introduced such a character or whatever earlier on in the story so reader's won't see it as coming in out of the blue. For example, if a character has to be alive for a later story, then there should be a arena-based reason that the antagonists or whatnot are unlikely to kill them. Perhaps they need this person for some reason, or think they might in the future. Makuta has always avoided killing Matoran, for example, because he needs them as worshippers, and possibly now to live. 7) Do not outline. If you do, treat it only as a theory of what might happen or as notes on what the important characters are planning to have happen. Quality fiction should IMO work how real life does -- every single factor affects the flow of events. An outline cannot fairly account for all those factors. 8) Have a good understanding of causality. Cause and effect, psychology, weather patterns, fictional or real physics -- anything that deals with "how stuff works," if you will. 9) Finally, not an absolute rule, but try to focus on emotion in your story. Doesn't mean your story can't be about a life lesson, science fiction concept, cool power, complex machinations, etc. But emotion should be your top priority, as that engages the reader. Put another way, make sure that at all times, emotion is portrayed through whatever you have on the page. It might be logical debate between Vulcans, lol, but your primary aim should be to produce an emotional reaction in the reader that interests them, gives them motive to want to know what happens next. For example, Bionicle's story is primarily entertainment. It teaches moral values, but as a second priority to telling a fun story, because if you don't tell a fun story, nobody reads the story, and so nobody learns the moral values Bionicle teaches. Perhaps not everybody will "get it", but that's okay -- if you are engaging readers emotionally, at least some of them will get the more logic-based things you hope your story conveys. Besides, if you are letting the story flow truly as it causally would, the emotions you are focusing on will reinforce a true lesson, perhaps even one you didn't expect or know yourself before you started writing! The emotions will back it up, not distract from it, in other words. Also, keep in mind something I've often pointed out about logic -- ultimately, the basis of everything is emotion, not logic. Without the promise and attaining of positive feelings from learning some life lessons or some logical truth or some rational system you've developed for your story, whatever, there is no point to logic, or even indeed of existence. You have to want to know the truth before you can learn it. Likewise, readers have to want to know what happens next, or why, before they can learn that. If you don't believe me, know that I am speaking as a logician. This is not a put-down against logc, but rather an explanation of why logic, truth, existence etc. matter in the first place. The Process Before I begin, a little intro: What I usually do is use plain old Notepad (or even literal paper notes) to make my own sort of plain text BIONICLEsector01, if you will, about the settings, characters, etc. that will form the arena of my story. For my non-Bionicle series I've actually developed a website-like html guide database I edit and access in Frontpage, almost literally an encyclopedia, heh. Not everything in your guide will necessarily be used in the story -- just as not every inch of a sports arena will necessarily be covered in a game -- but it is all available for me the writer if I need it. Here is where the temptation to info dump might come in -- again, keep in mind that NOTHING in your notes necessarily has to be told to the reader. The vast majority of it can be shown anyways, and that's always more fun. A writing prof has clarified about that old "show, don't tell" thing -- sometimes if telling is shorter, you should tell instead of show. But if by imagery, dialogue, etc. you can "show" it, it's usually better. How I tell what is needed when is I ask myself which one will convey emotion better? Ex: if a character is against the current government system, a short (SHORT) explanation of it can possibly convey that emotion better. If they had a hand in making it thus are proud of it, or if they are unusually enthusiastic about it, same idea. But if it's just a fact of existence for the character, it's probably better just to let it come out in bits and pieces. And I don't necessarily follow this exact order. Sometimes a cool idea for a setting is what inspires a story; other times it's a cool character idea, or a cool conflict idea. Finally, note that I'm going to go into a lot of detail about the IDEAL way to use this method. But I rarely do all of this -- for example I rarely write out lengthy history notes for my characters. I just focus on taking the notes on the most interesting stuff. In other words, do as much or as little of this as you enjoy doing. If this part is getting tedious, it's probably because you're doing too much of it -- or your ideas aren't cool enough yet, so you need to rethink things. Step 1 -- Build the Arena Setting is key to any story. It sets the feel of a story, and that is 90% of what readers like most about any story. (Give or take. ) Now to be clear we are not talking about actual sports arenas. I'm talking about definition #4 here: You need to develop notes about the physical, cultural, emotional, and rational setting of your story (there might be more than these needed). 1) Physical -- that's fairly easy. The climate, land, plants, native animals (or non-native), and all other such aspects. In my style, which is Adventure Mystery, I aim for the coolest possible settings, that get as far away from the cliche as I can. But if you're writing a different style, you can just go with an existing setting or develop one very similar to Earth or the like (much fantasy does the latter). In Bionicle fanfics, you can go with an existing Bionicle location or make your own. 2) Cultural -- depending on the place, the culture will affect a ton about what that place looks like, what systems run it, etc. Buildings, roads, signage, decoration styles, symbols, etc. come from a culture. For example, just from that teaser images of 2009 on Bionicle.com, we know a lot about the culture of the characters that live there -- they are somewhat primitive but highly industrious. We know this from the cool flags made of simple materials, but obviously displaying expert craftsmanship, and the stone arena (punny!) that exhibits complex architecture and masonry, but is also made of "primitive" stone instead of some more complex material. Despite their lack of advanced technology, there is a sense of the work ethic, or something similar, being communicated to us through their creations. Note that this aspect of your setting plays to the physical, emotional, and rational. 3) Emotional -- this is incredibly important. Every place has its own emotional feeling that it causes beings to have when they see it, though it might not always be obvious or the same for each character. 2009 seems to display a sort of harsh but adventurous life, for example. We get a sense of the emotions of the characters from the setting. Star Wars for example has the "worn universe" look, cluing us in that the characters are somehow worn down emotionally themselves, perhaps in general a bit cynical, or overworked, underpaid, or something like that. Note that putting these things into words might be difficult, as this example shows, but you should probably try to in your notes. 4) Rational -- the beliefs, ways of thinking, knowledge, thoughts etc. of your characters and culture. For example, in the BP epic #4: Twisted Island that I am writing currently, the story takes place at this highly unusual location because the enemies judge it to be the ideal place for them to accomplish their goals. That is their logical analysis of the situation related to plot, and in this particular story, that is what decides the setting. Step 2 -- Populate the Arena Characters. A believable plot is driven by characters for the most part. Unless you're telling a dramatized story about a hurricane or the like, you have living people, animals, or whatever in your story. Characters have goals, beliefs, their own repertoire of traditions and habits and knowledge. They have their own strengths, they have their own weaknesses, and above all they (usually) have the ability to adapt. These things create conflict with other characters. These are the keys to a character. Appearance is minimal in importance, but it can and should reflect these in realistic ways, and of course the reader does need to feel like they "see" your character based on your description. But description is the last priority when it comes to what you as author need to establish before you begin the story. Here are the aspects of a character I try to focus on: 1) Basic personality. Comedic? Serious? Aloof? Outgoing? A mixture of these and more? The latter is most likely. A fairly complex personality is usually important to establish, as real people are rarely simple. I try to focus on conflict related to personality -- does one aspect of it clash with another? Or does their personality tend to clash with life? How? Etc. 2) Abilities, talents, skills, powers, etc. Their strengths. These are the things the character usually thinks define them. 3) Weaknesses. What character flaws, physical weaknesses, vulnerabilities to temptation, or other weaknesses do your characters have? These are the things that define your character in terms of the plot usually, because they create conflict. ALWAYS have at least a sense of this for every major character, and preferably the minor characters too. And even with good guys, the more of these you establish the better, as stories are all about conflict. To use the sports analogy again, how well each player performs will depend on both their strengths and weaknesses, and how these things jive with the situation. 4) Their basic history. This can be driven by, and also drive, their personality, depending on what you do with it. But you need to have characters who have memories in their heads. It's not enough just to write a personality into the page -- real people have a history. 5) Their goals. The biggest one that will drive your plot. What do they WANT? This is what drives real people's actions, after all. We never do anything that on some level we do not want, unless we have no choice. Your character might not achieve his or her goals, don't misunderstand -- but they have goals nonetheless. 6) Their plans. What have they already thought of, or prepared for, that they believe will lead them to their goals? These will often be rethought by the characters as the story unfolds, but they usually need to have a Plan A in place. And Plan Bs etc. too if they are smart enough. 7) Beliefs, traditions, habits, etc. Just various things that further define who they are. What's in their heads in terms of how they behave and why. 8) Knowledge. Or lack of it (ignorance). I tell Adventure Mystery, where trying to know more and having to go through radfun adventures to do so is the goal. I tend to have different characters or groups of characters who know more than others, and maybe who don't want to tell others. And with just about any type of story, this is true to some degree. Who knows what? 9) Appearance. Last priority, as I said. But you can convey emotional ideas about your character through appearance. Especially when you're dealing with clothing (or mask powers/shape or the like), as these are often chosen by the character. Step 3 -- Write the Rules If there is to be an arena with competitors inside, you also need rules -- what type of sport will be played in this arena? The analogy is flawed, as these rules are written by the characters most likely, not a rules board. :-P But the idea here is which aspects of the arena or characters MOST define what can happen? In other words, what are the most important elements of your story? Unless you're telling a Glatorian competition story (or the like :-P), not everything will be equal in importance. Something will be the central idea of your story, and other things will be nearly as important. The plot will center on these things, not just on the basic idea of different competitors with their own equal aspects. For example, in Twisted Island the basic rules are that the villains have brought good guys to an island where a zoo of the most dangerous creatures in the universe has been damaged, setting these creatures loose on Twisted Island. These characters are trapped there and in constant danger, and more than ever before, they must work to solve the mysteries of this place, or surviving and escaping will be impossible. Obviously, I have other "rules" or basic elements behind the mystery that are classified, too. As another example, another epic I'm planning for later centers around the highly mysterious goals of the enemies alone, having little to do with the location. The bad guys don't even have plans in that epic -- just a single overriding, all important goal that they exist to accomplish. Sort of like Bohrok, only even more obsessive. I center the story on that -- making it rule #1 -- because I judge the secret to be such a radcool idea (inspired by a fairly recent subject that was discussed a lot on BZP, actually) that I think will have a great "whoa" effect when it's revealed, and yet should be really fun to tease throughout the story. So what kind of "rules" am I talking about? Well, it can be extremely varied, but here are some basics that almost all stories need: 1) Protagonist -- main good guy, usually. Who will be THE main character of your story? You can have POV of other characters if you want to write that kind of story, but this is the one who primarily try to steer the plot in the best way. (Unless of course you are focusing on a bad character, but the idea is this is the person you focus on who needs to take on a challenge of some kind and overcome it.) Another note here -- avoid like the plague having a character who just reacts to things. They can react, but they should almost immediately take a proactive, "fighting for what I want" approach in your story, and they should keep this up throughout the whole story as much as authorially possible. Could be exceptions. 2) Character lesson -- I usually write down how I think the plot will change the character as a person by the end of it. In my style, the protagonist of every story is going through an important life lesson the hard way. By the end, they will likely learn from what they experienced and walk away a better, stronger person for it. (But not necessarily -- that will depend on if it WOULD logically happen. ) Not every style uses this, but my writing profs have always said that your character MUST change by the end of your story in some way, or you don't really have a story. One prof went so far as to say your stories should always be about the MOST important event in your character's entire life, the one event that they cannot possible walk away from without being changed. Some might object that they prefer a plot-based story style. But that is simply not possible with the Arena Method -- either the characters or the setting, and usually both, drive the plot. Just like in real life. 3) Antagonist -- this is THE engine of your plot. Stories center on conflict, and you can't have that without an antagonist. Again, they don't have to be villains, but in some way their goals must conflict the most with your protagonist. If you tell a story about a bad guy, good guys or other bad guys (or neutrals) might be your antagonist. Also note that you SHOULD pick a single individual to be your main antagonist. It doesn't always work out that way; sometimes there's a group enemy such as a swarm, but in general you need an enemy leader, or elite enemy, or an enemy that has something against your protagonist specifically -- something to set apart an individual. What I often do is work with enemy groups with a leader, as does Bionicle. Sometimes conflict with a group might span multiple stories, in which case the antagonist of each story will be different. For example, in Epic 1: The Sword is But the Focus, the infected Wkahnau giant burrowing Rahi is the antagonist. It's clear that some more intelligent hidden enemy tied a powerful artifact to it with a rope, and of course Makuta is controlling it, but it is the main enemy of this story. What the Wkahnau does for the 2001 Paracosmos Saga is open the mystery of the hidden enemy group. In Epic 2: Agents of Surrender, Lewa hunts down the hidden enemy, and eventually finds three of them, with a single one leading them. Throughout the story, it is clear that the hidden enemies in general are the antagonists. Only when Lewa finds these three do we have a particular "subleader" revealed as this story's main antagonist. And in the process by the end the secret top leader of the hidden enemy is hinted at. Then in Epic 3: Captain of Treason, both Kopaka and the hidden enemy leader Rathoa take turns being the protagonist and antagonist. Kopaka is the main good guy, while the story focuses heavily on Rathoa's flashbacks that led him to become who he is, and on his current-day plans. Regardless of which one you consider the antagonist, there is clearly only one. In my notes I simply labeled Kopaka as protagonist and Rathoa as antagonist with heavy focus and flashbacks, since Rathoa is clearly the bad guy and is driving the plot, while Kopaka is being forced to deal with Rathoa's machinations. But you could see it the other way around, for reasons that become clear as the plot unfolds. 4) Core conflict. I just sum up the bad guys' goals and how that conflicts with the good guys, usually. Sometimes I list detailed aspects to the bad guys' plans. 5) Core mystery. Depending on the type of story you're telling. Since I write Adventure Mystery, each episode centers on a single mystery. That may or may not be solved totally by the end. :-P But some aspect of it must be solved by the end. This is distinct from the larger mysteries of the whole series or of each saga, though it might be connected. Again, depends on the story you are telling. 6) Theme. The general theme of the story. Along the same lines as character lesson, but it spans the whole story instead of being developed near the end. For example, in Captain of Treason the theme is obviously treason, betrayal. In my first short story, Folly of Fire, the theme was temper vs. patience. This is often unstated; implied. Also, the emotional feel of the story plays a role here. 7) Limits. What is not possible? For example, in Twisted Island, nobody can leave except through very specific ways (similar to LOST, apparently :-P). Epic 1 was about how we struggle with our own limits of ability, and unexpected ways of reaching beyond our own percieved limits. Epic 2 reminded Lewa constantly of his limits as he dealt with a hidden foe that seemed very powerful, learned horrid secrets of the Turaga he was not to pass on, and encountered the Jungledweller, who though a mere Tohunga had many well-practiced skills and collected secrets that outclassed Lewa even though he was a Toa. In Captain of Treason Rathoa very quickly imposes a major limit on Kopaka that affects his psyche even more so than his powers, and limits of knowledge are a big theme too. Step 4 -- Trigger the Conflict Choose your inciting incident -- decide how the proverbial game begins. Given what you know about the setting, characters, their goals, the major ideas your story will focus on, etc., ask yourself what will be the best introduction to the conflict of your story. Focus on introducing it RIGHT AWAY. This is not just the opening of a movie, this is a hook that will draw the reader along through your text. Movies sometimes do not begin with this, and same with television, because visual things can hook the reader in. With writing, anything other than an inciting incident is usually NOT an effective hook. This is because of the wall of text phenomenon. Which this blog entry is probably guilty of () for the sake of you authors, but readers have almost no tolerance for these days. Old fiction used to begin with lengthy description, introduction of the characters, setting, etc. and take 20 or so pages to even give a hint of what the trigger of conflict is. Instead, in the very first paragraph (or first page), a clear and powerful hint at the conflict to come should be apparent. Usually you introduce your main character through this -- one of my profs defined the inciting incident as the moment your protagonist first (and truly) becomes aware of the trouble of the story. Doesn't have to work that way -- many authors use prologues from the POV of a side character more like what an episode of CSI typically begins with. Most important thing is that the READER is given a clear hint at the conflict. Choose carefully. Your inciting incident should: 1) Be realistic. Think about what would happen, how your characters' goals and the like would naturally lead to such an incident. More on this at the start of Step 5 below -- but logic and realism and causality must apply here too. 2) Hint at the type of conflict to come. It may introduce it outright, or it may only introduce trouble of a sort that will lead to it. More on this in the explanation for rule 3: 3) Be concise and clear. If you have use info dumps to explain what is going on, it's probably a bad trigger. Rethink it, possibly go further back or forward in time, and pick something SIMPLE. For example, in my non-Bionicle fiction (classified for now), for the longest time I was planning on a particular plot idea being the first episode. The problem was, though the conflict was a cool scifi idea, there was no way to introduce it without a fair bit of explanation. I rewrote and rewrote my inciting incident a thousand different ways, but ultimately I decided that it didn't even introduce the basic themes of my larger series well enough anyways. So I changed it to an even cooler scifi idea that is even more original, that can be introduced quite simply. While I will probably revise the timing of it further as this is my life's work so it's more important that I get it right than the Paracosmos, heh, the basic idea of it needs virtually no explanation. In fact my inciting incident doesn't even directly state the trouble of the story at all, and the characters don't have a clue about it, but because of the nature of the world I am introducing along with this inciting incident (and the title), it is clear what the nature of the trouble will be. By the end of the first page, the main character knows there's a vague and mysterious threat, and part of a hasty message sent by someone he needs to meet up with who will explain further. The exact nature of the threat is a mystery that the whole episode explores, but the reader will almost certainly guess the basic idea of it right away, while being unable to predict its cause or consequences. That is what long years of college and tons of writing homework and the opinions of some experienced profs including one who is an actual author and editor tells me is what an inciting incident should do. And it all flowed naturally out of looking for the simplest, most concise part of it. Ironicles how long this explanation is. :-P 4) Be interesting. Last but not least. My fave and oft-cited prof said that there only two absolute rules in fiction -- it must be clear and it must be interesting. I propose that there is really only ONE absolute rule, because of course mystery can be totally unclear at first, but the intro to the story must leave the reader clear that it will be interesting. :-P If your introduction isn't clear, it's not interesting. What does it mean to be interesting? I dunno, it depends. It's subjective, too. You have to judge it on a case by case basis, but if you yourself go "Wow, this would be a cool start! I have to use this!" when you think of it, it's probably interesting to a lot of people. The rule of thumb is to make sure YOU are interested in what you're doing. If you're boring even yourself, you need to rethink it. This is the trigger. From this point on, the author's conscious control of the plot should STOP. Everything that happens after this should cascade naturally from the stage you have set and the characters you've put on it. What will happen? Who knows! That's the thrill of it! Note that it's around here where I usually write down basic theories of what will happen. But these are NOT outlines -- never use a formal outline unless you're just weird like that. And I used to try to do informal outlines, but ultimately I found that it was foolish -- how could I accurately predict the basics of what would happen without knowing the smaller unforeseen factors that will affect things in unexpected ways? The only way to accurately do that would be play the whole story out in total detail in your head and write it down as you thought of it so that you won't forget a single detail. Which is almost the same as writing the story, except you'd probably not be thinking about the super important things like tone and theme and feeling and imagery and the like. So you might as well just write it properly. In other words, my story IS my outline. As you write it, and especially after it's all written, THEN you can go back and touch up things and make revisions and such. And though it's taken some practice, I have gotten to the point where I never need to rewrite anything major. Step 5 -- Let the Story Write Itself Your obligations now as author are comparable to the radio sports announcer. Your radio audience can't see the story that plays itself out inside your head. Nor can you control the game, though admittedly perhaps you can influence it. But your responsibility is to let the reader in on what is happening in the arena in an engaging and entertaining way, NOT to control it. The following is what you must devote time and mental energy to: 1) Think about what would realistically happen next. You may need to do research, and you might not always be writing, but this is NOT Writer's Block. WB is when you honestly can't for the life of you figure out what to do. This is the opposite -- this is simply allowing the sortof domino effect you've set up to play itself out in your mind. You often do not even need to be in front of your computer (or with paper handy) to do this. I am usually thinking through the next step of my story as I eat, do other things, go to sleep, walk dogs, etc. Because I have spent enough time developing the arena and memorizing it, I can do this totally in my head. If you DO feel The Dreaded Writer's Block coming on, return to your notes. Review what you've established, or build on it. The idea will come to you, because all the pieces of the puzzle are already there (or should be). 2) Be willing to LET it happen. Never guide your story to avoid something like a character death or to force an info dump. This is vital, vital, vital. Now, you can design your arena in such a way that a death, for example, isn't likely, or so that information will likely come out for the reader naturally. But when it comes down to the wire, if a character's gonna die, you MUST let it happen just as it would happen if your story was real. Because it is. Fictionally. Never "kill off" characters -- characters should die for the same reasons people die in real life. The situation should demand it. Of course, certain readers might accuse you of killing them off, or just use the term carelessly as today's culture seems wont to do, but you know the truth -- YOU have nothing to do with it aside from designing the arena. I focus on death merely because it is the aspect writers and readers alike both seem to obsess over guiding or seeing as having been guided. But this applies to everything, good or bad, neutral, random, etc. 3) Spend time writing it down. Your own style will influence this part of it the most. There is no way for me to tell you how to do this part -- it depends on who you are, what you know, etc. The thinking and writing might happen all at once. Or it might not. Often I am able to sit down, and write the whole story out instantly. Aim for this if you can, as it's the most enjoyable way to do it. But even if you have to pause your writing to think (or do something else in your life ), your wondering how the story will end should be enough to motivate you to come back to the typewriter/paper later. Just make sure you do take time to actually write it down. A story in your head is not a story -- it's just a dream. I know I said choosing the inciting incident might be the hardest part, but forget that -- this might be too. So many other things demand your time, and you might be dealing with people that don't think you should waste time writing. Tons of cliches here, but what people need to understand -- and perhaps what you the writer need to convince them of -- is that as a writer, you NEED to spend a lot of time writing. Expect money to be a big stickler in this category. Don't expect to make much if you're a writer. I know personally I write because money or not, I CANNOT NOT write. I literally could not live if I was not writing, as it is the very fiber of my existence. It's like breathing -- I'm not making any money by doing it, but I HAVE to. Maybe that's not quite true of you, but at the very least, nobody can read your story unless you take the time to write it. 4) Allow yourself to concentrate 100%. Forget what I said earlier, THIS might be the hardest part (), given that other people around yadda may not respect your need to concentrate 100% even if they respect your need to spend time writing. Find ways to get around it or convince them that as a writer you NEED to concentrate. But if you are using the Arena method and you like the arena you've made, the conflict should be with outside distractions, not with yourself. Personally at least I always feel like I want to concentrate on a writing when I use this method, unlike homework for example where your brain wants you to concentrate on anything but. I admit that shallower methods of writing such as plot-driven writing will be much easier in this category (and time) than the Arena Method. But IMO the result is usually less fun for the reader and author and far far less satisfying to the very soul. What is easy is not always what is best. If you can get the time, and get away from the distractions (or if you're one of those rare individuals who can concentrate despite people making rackets, looking over your shoulder, etc.) the rewards of the Arena method will far outshine the alternatives. 5) Show ONLY the interesting parts of the story. While more might happen that you can imply or briefly sum up, do not waste space writing it if it is a boring detail. Skip ahead to the next most interesting event. As said above, my rule of thumb for what is interesting is usually if it conveys an emotion. (Other than boredom. :-P) Also, try to keep the five senses in mind. Don't just describe what characters see -- what do they hear, smell, feel, etc.? 6) Never tell anyone what you're about to write. Write it, and make them read it. This one might seem odd and even rude, perhaps. But it is a psychological thing that many other authors far more accomplished than little old me have observed -- if you report about what you're going to write before you get it down, your brain plays a nasty little trick on you where you feel less motivated to write it. You feel as if you have already written it, though you haven't. In fact, I would strongly advise not telling anyone even things you've already written. Keep your whole story a secret until it is finished, and have people read it. Generally far better that way, although I often tell Ojhilom about any major things I'm undecided about how I should proceed to ask his opinion. To do that I have to tell him something about what has happened, and I do say if I agree that his advice is probably best, but I never tell him what I end up deciding to go with until it is written down. And I ONLY do this for Ojhilom as he is my brother and he helps develop both the Paracosmos and my non-Bionicle fiction, so he is going to be honestly open-minded about it. Even with him, if I tell him too much about the story I'm currently writing, though, my motivation to continue sinks. The real danger is answering the question for the random friend or family member who already has no idea what you're writing about because they didn't help you develop it. To the mind of a writer, these are "readers." If you clue them in like that, your brain subconsciously tells you that you have given your story to the readers already, when in fact you have not. Now, with the Arena Method, you CAN tell them about the some of the "arena," perhaps. I'm talking about what happens after the inciting incident -- the stuff you need to spend time writing down. I've already used some details about the arena of Twisted Island in this entry, though I haven't finished it yet. But I know that if I revealed even a little of what is going on in the actual plot so far, it would become much more difficult for me to motivate myself to do the work of finishing it. Trust me, learned the hard way. Of course, if you haven't yet written your notes about it, the rule applies there too! 7) Review and proofread periodically. The worst thing that can happen with this method of writing is to write the whole story, then during your proofreading and rewriting process you discover that your story took an illogical turn halfway through. As a result you would have to scrap the entire second half of your story, or worse, try to weave results of the corrected version through the unaffected parts of the rest of the story. Avoiding the need to rewrite later is the best way to make that process easy and enjoyable. If you feel like you've become foggy on what you've already written, go back and read it. What comes after must be consistent with what came before. 8) Check your arena notes often. Same idea as checking what you've already written. Now, often it's easier to revise your notes than to revise your story. But still, you might have forgotten something that you mentioned in passing already in the story, and that might give you the same problem as above. This is even easier to review if you've made your notes concise and easy for you to read. 9) Watch your pace. Just as a radio announcer doesn't have much time to spend on telling the listener what just happened on the sportsfield, you don't have time to languish in one event too long. The reader will get bored. Keep the story hurtling forth doing its chain reaction as fast as you can without losing sight of the events themselves. You need a balance between brevity and detail. 10) Keep writing until it's over! Go all the way to the end -- finish what you started. No matter what. 11) Proofread. Look for typos, and follow the logic of the plot as a reader would, to make sure it makes sense. A few tips here are to 1) Proofread once for typos only and again for the plot, 2) Wait a few days, weeks, or longer before you proofread so you will have forgotten most of the details; that way it's easier to see the logic of the plot as it's actually written down, not what is lingering in your head, and 3) Have someone else proofread. And of course, don't rely on a spellchecker program. But once you've proofread yourself, do run it through a spellchecker just in case. 12) Rewrite. Fix the typos and any logical problems. If you did the previous steps well enough, this will be easy. It's best to proofread right in your word processing program, so that you can combine the rewriting with the proofreading. Save new drafts as different files (clearly label them as such), in case later you decide you want to go back to something from a previous version. And that's about all I've got to say. Sounds like a lot, perhaps, but most of the above is just my own personal take on the basic method. Put simply, set the stage, and then let the story write itself, instead of writing towards an ending. That is the Arena Method. Summary Introduction In the Arena Method, you set the stage for your story, and then you let the story write itself out from there as it would actually logically happen. Your direct control is only over the stage-setting part, not over the plot of the story. You don't know how it will end -- you get almost as much thrill when writing it as the reader does when reading. (Although you do know things the reader doesn't.) It avoids such plagues of writers as Writer's Block, and does not use any intentional plot devices. You don't write towards an ending. The ending and plot flows naturally from the arena you set up. Ground Rules: 1) Make an "Author's Guide" that sets up the arena your story will play out in. 2) Pick an inciting incident -- the trigger of your story's conflict. 3) Begin the story immediately at the inciting incident. 4) Whatever logically would happen, MUST happen. 5) Never info dump (try to focus on emotion at all times to engage the reader). 6) Avoid guiding the plot; instead make sure your arena is set up right. 7) Do not rigidly outline plot. 8) Learn about causality, psychology, etc. to better fulfill rule 4. 9) Strongly recommend focusing on emotion as you write as top priority. The Process: Step 1 -- Build the Arena Setting is key. Develop it in these ways (at least): 1) Physical -- climate, land, plants, whatnot. 2) Cultural -- buildings, roads, decorations and the like. 3) Emotional -- the overall feelings of places or of the people in them; emotions related to the setting 4) Rational -- beliefs, ways of thinking, knowledge related to the setting Step 2 -- Populate the Arena Characters drive the plot, mainly because of their various goals. Basic aspects I try to focus on: 1) Basic personality. 2) Strengths; natural talents or learned skills, psychological giftedness, etc. 3) Weaknesses; character flaws, physical weaknesses, psychological vulnerabilities, etc. 4) Their basic history. 5) Their goals. 6) Their plans -- how they think they can reach their goals. 7) Beliefs, habits, traditions, etc. How they behave and why. 8) Knowledge/ignorance. 9) Appearance. Step 3 -- Write the Rules Establish the most important elements of your story; what aspects of the arena or characters will your story focus on? A few basics (among many possible) I focus on: 1) Protagonist -- main good guy or who your story focuses on most. Should be proactive, not just reactive. 2) Character lesson -- in my style, the way the protagonist will change; what heshe'll learn by the end of the story 3) Antagonist -- the main bad guy or person who your main character conflicts with. The central driver of the plot. 4) The core conflict -- what's the main clash between protagonist and antagonist? 5) Core mystery -- in my Adventure Mystery style, the main hidden secret the characters try to unravel in the story 6) Theme -- the moral or psychological theme that spans the entire story, usually implied. 7) Limits -- what isn't possible? Or what are the only ways something is possible, etc? Step 4 -- Trigger the Conflict Choose your inciting incident. The very first moment of your story, the hook to draw the reader into the rest of it, the incident that first gives the reader (and usually the protagonist) a clear hint at the conflict of the story. Your inciting incident should: 1) Be realistic. 2) Hint at the type of conflict to come. 3) Be concise and clear. 4) Be interesting. (Vital, this.) Everything after this point should be beyond the author's conscious control. You could jot down theories as to what might happen after it, but things might happen differently. Step 5 -- Let the Story Write Itself Like a radio announcer, your job is to let the reader know what's happening as the story naturally unfolds beyond your control, in an engaging and entertaining way. Devote time and mental energy to: 1) Think about what would realistically happen next. 2) Be willing to LET it happen. 3) Spend time writing it down. 4) Concentrate 100%. 5) Show ONLY the interesting parts that convey emotion; skip or sum up the "boring" stuff. 6) Never tell what you're about to write. Write it, then let people read it. 7) Review and proofread periodically. 8) Check your "arena" notes often. 9) Watch your pace. Don't get bogged down but also don't move too fast. 10) Write all the way to the end. 11) Proofread. (For typos and for plot logic, try waiting a while before doing so, and/or have someone else do it. Don't rely on spellcheckers.) 12) Rewrite.
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Today the Bones Blog brings you an explanation of my term for the style of writing I love best -- the 'genre' I write. I consider LOST and Bionicle itself to be the best examples of this "genre". Scifi? Fantasy? Mystery? Thriller? Drama? No -- it's the best of all of those wrapped up into one awesome style -- Adventure Mystery! There's a newer breed of story that began with LOST (and, I would argue, with Bionicle). Take a look at the "genre" section on Wikipedia's LOST page and you'll see that's it's a mess. A joke. LOST doesn't fit into any one of those genres -- so what is it? This entry is fairly easy to write (for me ), because all I need to do is list the pros and cons of the various genres it's similar to -- and then take out all the cons and keep the pros. Most definitions will be taken from Dictionary.com, then put into my own words. By no means are these definitions or pros/cons exhaustive. If you really must, feel free to skip down to the Adventure Mystery section. Also added a Summary section at very end -- I promise it really IS short. Science Fiction I've taken a whole college class centered around trying to define scifi vs./and fantasy, and the one thing everybody agrees on is that nobody agrees on how precisely to define or categorize the two genres, especially scifi. Some say scifi is a category under fantastic fiction, others say fantasy is a category under scifi. Just about every scifi author has their own definition and many have core components such as addressing a key aspect of culture or human nature, or taking place in the future. Yet other scifi invariably violates such definitions. What I've put forth on my blog before is that scifi and fantasy form two ends of a spectrum of "physics fiction", with science fantasy in the middle. All three genres are generally distinct from "normal" genres in that they in some way tie the fictionality to physics. (See Bones Blog: Science Fantasy = Bionicle.) Scifi tends to explain the physics of its universes, and usually to make it sound plausible within real physics. Now if you're wondering where Adventure Mystery fits in the spectrum, well, it doesn't. It can actually fit in any of the three genres, and technically it could somewhat fit with stuff like CSI: Miami. But more on that later. Pros:Scifi is the most believable of the "physics fiction" genreMany of its scifi concepts can be (and have been) later actually done in the real worldIt tends to be "grounded" better and thus more relatable to for humansCons:It tends towards long-winded boring explanationsOften feels very "out there", plausible but still hard to believe could actually be trueStereotyped -- often fairly -- as pessimistic and darkGrounded perhaps too much in that it usually can't do anything innovative with physics without an "explanation", wheras fantasy can do fictional physics to make a more important psychological point.Fantasy I define fantasy as the opposite end of the "physics fiction" spectrum. Fantasy doesn't worry about -- and often bans -- the explanation of its made-up physics. Fantasy and scifi are both often about culture and human nature primarily, but fantasy approached it from a more direct route. Pros:More free to be "about" human natureNo limits to what is plausible; throws the traditional physics rules out the windowVirtually no "explanations" needed. Tend to be optimistic or "fanciful".Cons:Mostly unbelievable except as something like a different universe entirely or as secret aspects of the real worldGenerally useless to real world scienceDifficult to relate to as humans; not grounded as much as scifiStereotype as being "escapism"Science Fantasy See the aforelinked blog entry for more on how I see this as being defined. Essentially, it can mix and match anything from scifi and fantasy in any way. If Adventure Mystery fits in any other genre, it's this one. But I raise CSI: Miami (and shows like it) as a possible "fringe example" of something on the edges of this genre because it tends to be highly advenurous (more so than most crime dramas including the other CSIs IMO, though I don't watch much of CSI: NY so not sure), and obviously it's mystery, yet it's not "physics fiction." It does tend to brush the edges of scifi, though, touching on new technology often (of course, many other such dramas do that too, esp. NCIS and Numbers). Pros:It's freer to be grounded and yet also focused directly on human nature. Any of the pros from either scifi or fant, it can have.Cons:It's more nebulous even than scifi and fantasy -- pretty nebulous already -- so it's difficult to define beyond "mix". Any of the cons from the other two.Mystery Mystery is the main thing that Adventure Mystery is about, so you might think it goes in this genre. Unfortunately, though, "Mystery" has a deeply engrained stereotype as being specifically about real-world-style crime drama. Esp. Murder Mystery. When you say "Mystery", people think "Sherlock Holmes." There is some similarity, and obviously the mystery of murders and the search for clues can be major aspects of AM. Ex from my stories, Mindfire was the winner of the Epics Murder Myster Contest, and Epic 2: Agents of Surrender was all about a CSI-style investigation of clues about the hidden enemy. As a Bionicle example, I'd give Greg's original Tuyet story on BZP, and from LOST the whole Season 1 issue of "what Kate did" before the crash. But Adventure Mystery is definately not limited to crime mystery, and so it cannot fairly be put under this category. Bionicle is certainly not a crime drama. The LOST Monster wouldn't fit in a Sherlock Holmes story. Pros:Mind puzzles up the wazooAlso clearly about human nature and the likeSense of "who can be trusted?" most famous from this genreSeen as optimistic or realistic generally; the crime is usually solved, the bad guy caught, etc.A specific genre that doesn't have the vagueness problems the physics fiction tends toCons:Not as thrilling or suspenseful; feel small-scale and perhaps "quaint"; hard to feel the threat of the enemySo specific it sort of chains up "mystery" into a lesser form of mysteriousnessNot as directly about human nature as fantasy or scifant can be, though lacking the stereotype against thisLimited (in the usual definition) to real-world physicsThriller Thriller best example I would give is the Bourne Trilogy. Matrix, etc. Heavily about action adventure, which is a major aspect of Bionicle and Adventure Mystery, but not necessarily focused on mystery. It's about fighting. Kung fu. Yadda. And the genre name to me brings to mind real-world settings, not generally scifi or fantasy. Ex: I wouldn't classify Bourne as scifi, though maybe on the fringe of it. Pros:As the name implies, thrilling and heavily into suspenseJust plain funThe threat of the enemy tends to be VERY feltCan be very about human natureExplosions.Cons:Stereotype as NOT being about human nature, "just a buncha fighting", and sometimes deservedCan be in the "physics fiction" genres but stereotyped as being "real world"; spy/conspiracy movies, etc. Mystery is often merely to aid suspense, not about the feeling of mystery itselfTend to feel like characters are dragged through it, not exploring willingly.Drama All fiction is drama to some extent. As a genre name it can also mean a wide variety of things but tends to refer to "real world" fiction. Esp. "Daytime drama" cheese on television. The main weakness I would say is the opposite of the strength of fantasy according to Tolkien -- fantasy can show human nature much more clearly than "real world fiction" by taking it out of context. It can take away all the 'excuses' of setting that we tend to use to avoid understanding ourselves in the real world. Drama often seems to me to ironically have less emotional impact than "physics fiction" because it tries too hard, and is stuck in the whirlwind of the everyday. If we do not see our own nature clearly in the mundane that we already live in, using that setting in fiction tends to have the same mind-numbing effect. Pros:The most direct human nature themeGenerally the most grounded and easiest to relate to; often about normal lives and situations.Cons:Stereotype as limited to 'real world"; imagination is limitedMay be directly about human nature, but incapable of focusing on human nature out of context; limited in HOW it can do soSoap opera cheese stereotype (generally deserved ). Tends to have 2D characters who are essentially emotional see-saws stuck into real life situations; the drama can become overdone ("melodrama" is the fancy term for that). So can ironically lose realism. Adventure Mystery So here's how I define Adventure Mystery (in general), taken right from my BP collection topic intro I wrote last week: A science fantasy 'genre' that focuses on the intense thrill and adventure as the characters unravel deep, grandious mysteries, with innovative science fiction and character-focused secrets behind the mysteries. AM is fantasy, science fantasy, and/or even real world on the surface, but tends to be science fiction in the secret hidden level that must be uncovered by the characters. Instead of long-winded explanations of the mysteries, they are slowly explored throughout the story. So the discovery is actually fun, not just pushed on the reader in summary to "justify" what is being done. You don't know why what is happening is happening, and that just makes it all the more fun. A recent complainer said something about Bionicle and I pointed out how it was true in 2001 that is relevant here -- he whined that in Bionicle, there is "no clear justification" for why there are females among the Matoran, when they have no apparent need for gender at all. I pointed out that in 2001, we had "no clear justification" for robots being on a tropical island, or for the characters to have masks of power. Indeed we did not even get the slightest hint about masks until 2009, IMO, when now we know the island of Mata Nui was a mask on Mata Nui's face all along. It was a huge clue, and in hindsight I wonder how the heck we didn't see it. And that is essentially what Adventure Mystery does -- it uses clues and adventure to explore the imagination of the author, not "clear justifications." Ex: My Paracosmos is not just science fantasy; everything in it other than the fantasy physics it takes from Bionicle as a given is actually rooted in a science fiction explanation. The physics consequences of the Big Secrets lead to clues, and are actually somewhat mathematical in some areas. But I NEVER waste time on long-winded scientificey explanations, and when they DO uncover scifi aspects to the world, the characters have emotional reactions to every bit of it. Indeed, all of it is fundamentally rooted in psychology, because none of it would ever have happened if not for the motives and characterization of a certain classified founding character. My non-Bionicle fiction is also Adventure Mystery. In that, though now is not the time to reveal any details, I basically take a revolutionary scifi approach to all the big mysteries of the real world, with plausible scifi 'semitheories' about just about everything. Example, my first episode introduces a scientific explanation for spirits that nobody else has apparently thought of (readers of my old Wacky Physics topic may remember an earlier version of it), but I do this through exploration and mystery, not preachy explanation, so it's fun. By the end of the planned series such semitheories will "explain" everything from why I believe God not only exists but HAS to exist to wave-particle duality of light to what the Greek myths could have been founded on to many mysteries of ancient culture to how superhero powers like telekinesis could actually work for normal human beings. Also with plausible scifi ideas for cool fictional mysteries just made up for the fun of 'em, heh, and to focus on human nature, yadda. If I were to sum it up, I'd say that people usually claim the "magic" or supernatural in stories like Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Harry Potter, etc. can't be explained with science, or shouldn't be -- my fiction quite simply throws that rule in the trash compactor where it belongs and opens up anything to explanation discovery. LOST appears to be doing things similar to both of the above. Ex: The hatch had a scientific explanation behind it, but it was teased and slowly revealed over two whole seasons. Traditional scifi would have wasted that brilliant concept on a paragraph or more of long-winded explanation as soon as the hatch was found -- and probably would have opened the hatch way, way sooner just to try to impress the viewer with the imagination of it. But the sense of mystery would have been lost, and frankly a lot of people would have been bored. (But then maybe it SHOULD have been opened a biiiit sooner -- Season 1 had the opposite issue of teasing things too long, as Greg has pointed out) Of course, doing Adventure Mystery juuuuust right is the hard part. So we DO have to list some pros and cons: Pros:All of the pros listed for all the above genresThrilling action and mystery yadda yaysies!Cons:Extremely difficult to pull off in a consistently captivating wayAdventure Mystery is not a genre to be done lightly. You do not simply sit down and start writing this -- nor do you simply establish characters setting and plot and write it out either. You must hold the audience's interests simultaneously in the characters, the action/adventure, AND the mystery. (IMO the Arena Method helps extremely towards this BTW.) Ex: LOST Season three lost (eheh) some of the mystery and a bit of the adventure. It became too nebulous, seemed to be feeling around in the dark for a theme, and as a result it lost (There's that pun again!) a ton of viewership. I constantly struggle with maintaining that balance in my fiction, and I always worry that I'm failing at it when I start a new story or saga. One of the biggest reasons I'm doing the BP in the first place is so that I can test out different approaches while also trying hard to maintain that balance. Adventure Mystery as a series can NOT become too established as about a certain mystery (ex: many 2001ists seemed to think the whole tropical robots thing was "Bionicle's mystery", and complained when Bionicle moved on from it/answered it). The hardest part is holding your reader's interest with each new central mystery as much or more than you did with the last one. The basic answer seems to be twofold: 1) Make sure fans are captivated about an over-arching series mystery, like the Event with the Paracosmos, or the Island/Crash with LOST. Bionicle lost sight of that to a degree at times, and I think that explains some of the disinterest or sense that it's lost its mysteriousnes with some years from 2003-2008 or so. Thankfully, it seems established now as being the larger conflict the Great Beings are involved in, relating to the Shattering, and/or about Mata Nui's mission. 2) Make sure you have innovative smaller-scale mysteries and secrets behind the mystery that can form dots in the larger "connect the dots" grand mystery, with one taking the forefront in each major section of the arc (saga). LOST didn't really have anything like that in Season three; in Season 1 it was the Monster, in Two it was the Hatch, in Four it was the Boat, and in Season Five it's the Moving of the Island. In three it was all over the place; ended up being about getting off the island, but frankly that shouldn't have been the theme because of Gilligan's Island -- nobody actually thought they WOULD get off. It was really cool as a twist, but the theme should have been something clearer. So anyways. This has been a non-exhaustive guide to what I mean when I use the term "Adventure Mystery." Final note: I define it as being in science fantasy, but again, it doesn't have to be per se. So far all clear examples I know of are, but likeisay things like CSI: Miami could be considered on the fringe of the genre. Also, Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean stand out to me as other possible examples. Summary Adventure Mystery: A science fantasy 'genre' that focuses on the intense thrill and adventure as the characters unravel deep, grandious mysteries, with innovative science fiction and character-focused secrets behind the mysteries. ION: Lotsa art for Twisted Island and the Altacosmos Chronicles done. Hopefully later today the second AC and an artwork topic for both Chronicles will be up. Will include how I imagine Toa Helryx's Mask of Psychometry to look.
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Random updates: 1) I'm now a member of the Premier Poll-Making Squad. Even though I'm technically not Premier. But I love making polls and I promise to do my best to fulfill requests as fast as humanly possible. So feel free to PM 'em to me! "Let them come...." 2) It hasn't begun yet, but the rules for the S&T Contest #5: Bionicle Time Capsule have been posted. Begins officially Jan 1 2009. Basic idea is to create a commemmoration of all eight years of Bionicle thus far, now that the first chapter has ended. And virtually any type of entry is allowed. The reason the rules are posted so early is that it's something I wanted to give people time to prepare for. Yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition. *grammar rebel!1!!!!1!* 3) Been writing Epic #4 Twisted Island a ton lately. It's not done, but things are speeding towards the end. I've just yesterday written every single one of the winning Bones Blog contest beasts into the story (although I haven't worked the honorable mention "Parawins" in yet... I guess I really should, eh? ). As for any other details... I can't tell you. *see below entry * 4) And also been doing a ton of artwork. Mainly, coolified Glatorian avs. Also, the logo for the S&T contest. See below images for topic linkage. Wouldn't mind some more posts in 'em, BTW. Coolified Glatorian Avs: Coolified Glatorian Avs 2: Coolified Mata Nui Face & Island Mask Avs, Banners, Wallpaper: 5) Snow! :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: 6) Put up a bunch of images for Captain of Treason in the Review Topic, including an awesome MOC of Rathoa made by Pekel secretly for me years ago. Also some other never-before seen art, along with the usual past art of characters the epic shares with past stories. 7) Am updating CoT twice weekly now, usually around Monday and Thursday. And would love more reviews -- put a ton of hard work into that epic. 8) Plan on doing a lot more art soon; we'll see. -------------THIS ENTRY BROUGHT TO YOU BY:---------------
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Poem. A new universe Worlds blink into existence First large and wide second pulling together into shimmering orbs A moon here, a planet there, a comet streaking there Growing in size Growing in number Blink One second twenty worlds Next second a million Even as the universe grows, its fate is sealed Worlds grow too large. Out of control. Worlds merge. Collapse. Two great arms stretch out A horrible chorus of screams reaches beyond the universe as it is swept aside Even as the universe sloshes aside, new worlds appear behind the arms Swept aside, too as the arms return to their position beneath the* (It's a cyclical universe It's a cyclical universe It's a cyclical universe It's cyclical universe (The scientists determine this near the end of each cycle, before their world ends. Does anyone escape? Is there a legacy? Is there still history?) It's a cyclical universe It's a cyclical universe Endlessly repeat until the rain stops pouring down upon the* ) *windshield. A new universe...
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Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose. As a sequel to my Visual Guide to Cool, today the Bones Blog brings you a collection of leaves found in my yard and around my neighborhood while dogwalking in the last two weeks. Study these leaves closely -- they'll be on the test. I mean... they roxor... With the exception of three "leaves", including the pine needles, that I plucked from trees and bushes in my own yard, all of these were found on the ground. Then I scanned them in my scanner. All have had the brightness and contrast upped a bit, but only to return them closer to what they looked like in real sunlight -- the scanner makes them look dimmer than reality. (At least on my screens.) Dunno the names of a lot of 'em so I won't bother with that. The names aren't the point here -- the coolitude is. There was no clear science behind which leaves I chose -- these are the ones that stood out from the millions of others, the ones that instantly made me go, "Wow! That's cool!" What is it that defines cool? As in the Visual Guide, I am not sure how to describe it. But I know what it looks like -- at least to me! Maybe by studying these leaves, you can get some sense of what is "cool" to me. I tend to share the preferences of most Bionicle fans, so maybe this is useful in that way too. I notice that the bright colors stood out to me the most. But I also like leaves that have serrations, clear patterns, branching patterns of color, and are just plain huge. Back: Unlike most fans, I do like brown. I noticed that most of the leaves I liked weren't brown though. But for us brown fans, here's the three best I found: My second-favorite leaf is the big green and yellow one in here, for cool shape, texture, AND color: Ultimately this kind ended up being my favorites, 'cuz I love the Umbra-style color scheme, the varied patterns of 'em, and because these were the leaves that inspired this entry lol: The white background really doesn't do that kind justice. Here's a brown fill background: Just awesome. Imagine: plant-based canister villains using these styles, with arms, legs, masks, etc. I would buy a ton of 'em. And now that I've finally seen some appaaarently approved 2009 pics: » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «The green canister set looks to be using some of these very design styles! ION: Next week, a Tohunga list for my RPG made by Zarkan, and the completed walkthrough by MotR (not including chores or the like), in a series of entries all in one week. Also, possibly my AC entry, if I have time to finish, by the end of the week. Don't forget to enter the Monster Mystery Powerpoint Art contest by November 25!
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Random thunks: 1) RPG skeletal version main programming is DONE! I just completed the full test play yesterday, and we are currently fixing a few major errors. We are aiming for putting it online this weekend. Maybe even tomorrow morning (if not, Sunday). It'sa gonnabe fun, man! 2) I posted another one of those annoying staffie rant topics. Please read it. Evidence, Not "proof", Needed for Theories. 3) I know, I know, the S&T contest results topic is late. Bear with me -- I expect to have that up Monday. Premptive congrats to all the winners! And you can look forward sometime much later to a presentation Swert and I have been planning for the Expanded Universe side of the contest. 4) Not sure how soon exactly, but the next S&T contest will launch in the later months of 2008. And readers of this boringly-titled blog entry get a special heads-up. The contest will be titled, "Bionicle Time Capsule." This will not be another officialness-contest -- this will be you folks competing for the best memoriam presentations of all eight years of the first chapter of Bionicle, as we draw closer to the close. Most likely I'll post a rules announcement at least a month or maybe two before the actual entry period, so everybody can get a chance to prepare and also involve stuff from the end of 2008. Most likely, the contest itself will mostly run in 2009. Right now, prizes aren't established and I'm not sure if we'll have, say, three winners or just one or maybe a little more, whatnot. One thing I can say for sure -- there will be no categories in the rules. Whatever format you guys can produce will be allowed, though there might be limits on just how in-depth you can go, since a Time Capsule in real life has limits like that. Idea is for short and to-the-point stuff. Categories might be assigned when entry period closes for purposes of poll arrangement, not sure yet. Those of you lucky enough to have just read the above can get a bit of a head start.
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The Bonesiii Mental Health Diet Important points are bold. Weight Loss Plan Eat less. Forever. Mental Health Diet Regiment All those veggy diets and such bleagh-ness neglect the importance of good taste for mental health. Besides, all the fancy schmancy diet intructions are murder on your sanity. Who cares about a flat stomach if you go insane? Therefore: eat tasty stuff. Just less of it. Cheese is good. Throw in a leaf of lettuce every once in a while if you feel like it. Try Honey Roasted Peanuts, they rock. Orange juice is cool. For meat... BK's Double Cheeseburgers. Aaaaaaaaaaaaw, yeeeee-uh!. The Price Just send me money! It works with all the other diets, right? Testimonials Pohatu: "I tried one of those liquid diet supplements, but I just kept putting on more weight. When you read the fine print for those things, it says it doesn't work without diet and exercise. I'm too lazy for exercise, and why bother with some extra supplement if the dieting is what actually does the trick? So I tried the Bones Diet, and voila! Dramatic weight loss! I've even turned the color of sharp cheddar cheese! Cheddar rocks, man!" Makuta: "I used to snack on Dark Hunters and anybody else I could get my Shadow Hand on, until I accidentally tried to eat a rock and ended up in a protocage for a few months. Not eager to repeat that experience, I tried the Bones Diet, and I can say I've most definately put the weight off!" Nuju: "Click whistle whistle tweet-chirp snap crackle pop whistle tweet tweet cluck caw cocka-doodle-dooooo! Raaaaahk! Polly wants a cracker! Raaaaahk! Polly wants a cracker! Raaaaahk!" Axonn: "Um... I have big bones." Karzahni: "What are you staring at? Physics is backwards in my realm, remember?" Ahkmou: "Nice try, dude -- I'm on the Makuta diet."
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Random updates yet again! Huzzah and stuff? I've concluded that there are two major types of food. 1) Pop Tarts. 2) Cheese. Yes. They don't mix, right? Plus, I can eat cheese everyday for my whole life and never get tired of it. Pop Tarts are better as every-once-in-a-while breakfast. All other foods fall under these categories. I defy you to find a food that doesn't fit. We've got new phones in the house. They've got a robotic voice that "says" the listed identity of the caller. I put "says" in quotation marks because whoever programmed it forgot how to teach it to pronounce things in English. It's virtually impossible to figure out what it says just from listening -- you have to go over and read the screen to see the number. Kinda defeats the purpose, no? For example, if a caller's ID isn't listed, robophone says: "Nahm oonahvay labble." We've been going around pronouncing things unavailable with this pronunciation ever since. It's fun. Our cat, Hunter, likes to stand by the door when we're going in and out and sniff. She's an inside cat, but sometimes she does creep up as if she's going to go outside. So I say: "Ohwoot seedeh oonahvay labble!" "[Person]'s cell" becomes "Person S Cell". "Cell Phone OH" (abbreviation for Ohio) becomes "Cell Phone Uh-wedge". And then when it gets a last name? Totally incomprehensible. Readers of Captain of Treason might wonder why there's been no new chapter in a while. It's because: 1) The next chapter has hugo RPG spoilers, and: 2) We're sooooo close to being able to put up the full RPG skeletal version that I've decided just to delay CoT until then. If we don't have it up within two weeks I will be shocked. The above means I'm mostly oonahvay labble for stuff on BZP for a while. A ton of people keep PMing me random questions lately. Not sure why, but if I seem very slow to reply, that's why. I'm not complaining, just saying, don't expect instant answers. Also, not really sure if I'll worry about keeping the Bones Blog weekly for a while. I've got a ton of potential content, but takes time to write it up. We'll see. Just to let yall know ahead of time. Don't worry, though; I'll keep up with the contest voting schedule. Physics-defying 2001 set. Recently, my brother moved out of the room we've shared for a years and took my sister's room, since she's moved out now. The process involved digging out the extra LEGO pieces I've had sitting around for a while. I build a lot of Fusion MOCs (using both System and Technic/Bionicle pieces to give a semi-robotic look) for MOCs that represent vehicles and suchnot in my non-Bionicle fiction universe. I came up with an excuse to actually use a lot of the extra pieces that I didn't think I could use -- junkbot racing. Made a ton of hovering racing vehicles and their robot drivers. Twas fun. (This would be like demolition derby, except with no limits cuz there are no people in the vehicles. ) So anyways, as I was building, I wished I had four of those ladder pieces, yanno? They can add nice texture. I used to have just one of those pieces, many moons ago, but it broke. But I didn't want to bother actually getting any. They were, you could say, oonahvay labble. Then, my mom was rearranging, and she discovered a box labeled "LEGO", with a date stamp of 2001 on it. She opened it up, and found a traincar set inside. A real life LEGO set, just sitting unknown on a shelf, from eight years ago. Nobody knows how it got there. And it was supposed to be both black and blue, but was missing the blue pieces (though I ironically had all of those pieces as extras). And it had four black ladder pieces. Of course, by that time I'd already worked around needing those pieces. So I just built the traincar as per instructions with my extra pieces, and then turned it into a cooler-looking train engine with other extra pieces. But I'm sure if I can ever actually get a better camera than my Stupidcam™ and I can thus actually take MOCs apart, I'll have plenty of uses for the ladders. The Bones Blog banner above shows this set (a pic I found on brickshelf of it cuz I was too lazy to scan the instructions ). It's just the car on the right. Engine wasn't included; I have no idea if that engine is even a real set, but the traincar is. Kinda boring set by itself, lol. And that CG pic isn't 100% accurate (those gray handles inserted into blue bricks are really just one big blue piece with attached handles), but whatever. I have little time right now lol.
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Enter the 2nd Chances MOC Contest: Beasts! by July 3rd! Winning MOCs will be in Epic #4: Twisted Island! I've been debating on and off whether I should do yet another random stuffish entry or the What Most Fans Want entry today. This won out because of the first random stuffish thing below. WMFW will be next week's entry.Bionicle Paracosmos Epic #3: Captain of Treason will begin early next week! Watch the Epics forum for it! Background for those who don't know -- epic is already written, just not published yet, and it takes place after the RPG. I was going to wait until we could get the RPG skeletal version up, but I'm getting impatient. Also, we are very very close to a skeletal version going live of the RPG. There are some spoilers from the RPG in the epic's later chapters, but I'm not going to worry about the timing of it. I finally decided to enter my own S&T contest (lol) with the Lightstone Rifle. Wasn't sure if I was going to enter since I generally think it's unwise for a host to enter his own contest. Decided to because 1) there will be multiple winners, more than any previous S&T contest , and 2) I got in the mood to actually draw the thing, figured I might as well give it a shot. (And of course, members will vote -- I have nothing to do with who wins -- and I and the helpers don't have anywhere near as big a role as S&T2.) BTW, there are a few appearances of it and a modified version of it in the later Epic 3 chapters (though with purple lightstones). It was actually that section of the epic when I was writing it that inspired the original idea for the S&T contest. Someone suggested having more winners in that category due to me entering. I haven't ruled it out, but the problem is, there are way, way fewer entries in that category than most of the others. I want to keep the math of how many people win consistent -- right now Description and MOC may very well get more winners, but not Art. So if you guys want that, you have to enter a lot more Art: Computer entries. Note, however, that top winners will still be chosen in each category (except Art). So there will be a top winner in Description, for example. And I doubt I'll win anyways. Entered mainly cuz I'd like to have it be in the Expanded Universe. I'm pleasantly suprised to see a lot of people like it though. By now you're probably shouting at the screen for me to get to the thing about the BBC. Here tis. Put simply, the problem with BBC contests doesn't exist anymore, lol. Two things I mean by that. One, I had a problem with them for a long time similar to a problem a lot of people have with Bionicle -- I just didn't have the time to follow them due to the Dreaded Real Life plus all the BZP duties I had to put on hold. In reality, it's a problem with me, not the BBC, just as it often is with Bionicle fans who have been bogged down by other things demanding their time or have aged a lot since their first year, etc. Thankfully I'm finally starting to be able to follow BBC contests again lately, and lemme tell you, you guys are amazing. I'm sure this is old news to all yall () but IMO the vast majority of MOCs that enter and win those contests are better by far than official sets. I know sounds weird from me -- I love Bionicle sets, don't get me wrong. Not an insult towards them. It's a compliment towards you guys. :-D I've missed being able to follow 'em, and it's good to be back in the swing of things. Two, I've agreed with Tufi's comments about the overuse of humanoid MOCs. I can enjoy those fine, don't get me wrong, but personally the really fun part of MOCing is being able to break out of the mold of what we look like and imagine characters or creatures nobody's ever seen before. Obviously part of that went into my current Beasts MOC blog contest. Now, here's the point I wanted people's takes on -- coming back to BBC contests, it seems to me that the too-many-humanoid-MOCs problem (from my POV anyways) has been largely fixed. I remember a lot less inventive MOC shapes back when I used to follow MOCs. What's your guys's sense on that, if you've been following BBC contests more than me? Agree? Disagree? Whonot? Is curious.Artwork Forum too -- you may have noticed I'm posting more art again now. I'm also finally able to actually pay more attention to other people's art topics and comment, etc. That was a hugely missed part of my life when I was so busy, and I sincerely hope I can keep it up and get more into it, etc. I'm two things principally -- a writer and an artist -- and I've felt like I was starving without this. Also, I always feel guilty when I post an art topic but I don't go around posting in other people's topics. I want comments as much as the next guy, so I feel like I should be out there posting in others' topics. I know, I have a right to look and leave. :-P But that's not really what I'm talking about. And fun Art contest last time! Requests -- I still can't seem to get into the mood to fulfill some requests I'm late on. And I really think I'm better off just posting my own artwork and doing guides to help others see how to do it themselves. Requests just... I dunno, maybe they're just not for me. They come in at unexpected times, and even when I think I can do them it doesn't usually work out. Toa Velox, I'm especially sorry yours has taken so long. It really shouldn't take that long, I just can't seem to get around to it. (If you read my last randomness update thingy, I'm not accepting new requests, BTW. I miiiight change my mind if I ever catch up, but... yeah, unlikely.) Spoiler policy. Glad to finally get that off the ground. Good questions asked so far; I think most of the basic questions have been asked and answered. Of course, there will always be some people that don't like any new policy, and I hope we can discuss back and forth politely in those cases and reach an agreement on what's best. A lot of times people don't know the reasons behind the policy, so they jump to conclusions. Sometimes we didn't think of something that they did, though, so it's good to have those kinds of discussions. And many thanks to everybody who voted in the poll and posted arguments that we used to decide parts of the policy. Some of you even made such good arguments you convinced me to go less time than the majority voted for on Serials. On that basic topic, the "Are the Admins Harsh" topic has been interesting. Hopefully we staff are helping to clear up some misconceptions a lot of people have about why rules are in place, why we do things the way we do, etc. I personally wanted to keep a link record of this post of mine. Basically I am using that example to explain why we don't allow discussion of banned members, and why often bannings that people think are unjust actually are. Also, Takuta-Nui's post here is very relevant. Hopefully this helps people. For the record, "no discussion of banned members" is a rule. A lot of people are pushing it and even breaking it in there. As long as the admins are okay with the topic, I'm not going to challenge anyone for doing so, but please do realize that it is a rule. Also for the record, I don't want in any way to be misunderstood as attacking the member I quoted in that post. He said those things for understandable reasons, and I am glad he brought it up. Obviously a lot of people don't understand what's going on in cases like that -- so I hope we can help make it clearer. Got tons more ideas for blog contests, so should be good there for a very long time. Sometime in the semi-near future, I'd like to start a blog series called "Plain English Fallacies." This would be about the list of common fallacies, and also some that I have identified that aren't "official". IMO the most important aspect of logic that everyday people can benefit from is knowing a lot of these basic fallacies. Fallacies are basically a list of ways of thinking that have been shown to be very untrustworthy. The ones I'll be listing show up all over the place. In newspaper columns, in political speeches, in conversations at a restaurant, in complaint topics here, wherenot, they are unfortunately everywhere. Problem is, logicians traditionally use "logicianspeak" to describe them, and they have these horrible Latin names that you have to memorize. Which is fun for logicians, but for everybody else, it just turns them off. So hopefully the whole "plain English" thing will be helpful. For now I'm assuming it will be a fallacy per entry -- and they'll be super short entries compared to most of mine. When you use "lol", do you actually laugh literally "out loud"? I use that all the time as a faster way of saying "that's funny!" but I usually don't actually burst into laughter. Maybe we need another acronym. lq? Laugh quietly? limh? Laugh in my head? ltych? Laugh that you can't hear? itttc? It's the thought that counts? And probably ten more things I forgot. Don't forget to entry the 2nd Chances MOC Contest: Beasts! A lot of great entries so far -- the Twisted Island epic can still use a ton more. Finding good photos of jungle/swamp scenes at night is freaky tough. Wants more, for when TI actually comes around. This entry's banner and the banner of the 2nd Chances entry are the only two good pics I have. Got one more but it's CG and you can really tell. [nerdy moment]I need something more real.[/nerdy moment]
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Which blog contest should I run next? Makuta Jeopardy -- will have audition contest, then AIM game with three contestants. Bionicle trivia. Will be introed in the next interview, which will be with Makuta DoomAH. Answers will come from BS01 "Random Pages" under major categories. 2nd Chances MOC Contest: Beasts! (BPC#1) -- any past MOC, whether from a BBC contest or not, except for actual BBC winners, can be entered. Winning MOCs will be beasts set loose from a "zoo" of superdangerous, exotic beasts in an upcoming Bionicle Paracosmos Fanfic. Multiple winners. Was planning to do #1, but I'm leaning more towards doing 2nd Chances now. And don't forget to enter the Powerpoint Faces contest if you can! Ends midnight EST Thursday! See entry below.
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Contest Banner, Elements, Petitions, Requests, Etcetera
bonesiii posted a blog entry in blogs_blog_39
Random Thunks. Contest Banner Here's a banner to spread the word about the Powerpoint Face Contest: [url="http://www.bzpower.com/forum/index.php?automodule=blog&blogid=39&showentry=29997"][img=http://www.majhost.com/gallery/bonesiii/BZPstuff/powerpointfacecontst/powerpointfacecontest_sigsize.gif][/url] Yall must use it, capisce? That's a Normalfied Calix, a Coolified Kaukau, Coolified Jutlin from my recent Phankuta art topic, Coolified "Igniru"request from GB#1 that was used in the second of the art guides as an example, the original Coolified Vahi, a coolified Hapori Tohu, and finally, a Ninja King face I made for Ninjo a long time ago that he used as his avatar for a while. These are a few of my faves from my own work; hopefully they can help inspire yall for the contest. You can see these and other Powerpoint art on my brickshelf, if you want even more inspiration. Elements A lotta talk lately about new Bionicle or fanfic Elements. Personally I think the more official elements, the better -- even many that Greg has turned down, I would include if it were up to me, but many would simply be considered evil elements just like Shadow. (Acid, for example.) And I really like the idea of "Abstract elements", like "Mind" for intelligence, or "Emotion", in which actual elemental energy would control these abstract aspects of the Matoran's world. I think these would really help make Bionicle's physics even more different from our world, which IMT is a good thing. Maybe more importantly, it would challenge and inspire imagination even better than "obvious" elements. I think imagination is a very worthy goal, 'specially considering this is LEGO. And I think a more complete selection of Legendary elements would make sense, even if they are merely "considered" elements and not actually used in the story. Time and Life don't sound much like a complete list. Force is probably the best example of one I'd support; it's basically kinetics. The best argument against Aether/Continuum/Space, I think, is that kids wouldn't understand it, and I admit I'm Mr. Physics so this is like kindergarten to me much more so than most people, but I think "the fabric of dimensions" is simple enough to understand -- and just say it can make wormholes, modify physics somewhat in an area, and maybe a few other limited things that could be compared to fabric -- but if it ruptures space, the whole universe pops like a balloon. Besides, all I really wish for is that it be considered an element. (Also, calling it "Space" would be confusing, so another good argument against it is that the alternatives are just as confusing for names.) Another idea I've had is "Mutated elements" -- where the element itself is mutated, not just the weilder. So the normal rules for elements wouldn't have to apply, per se, and they could be mixed with powers in some ways. A short list of some random, mixed up examples of elements I have now listed in my Paracosmos Notebook database as real elements in my fanfics: Lava -- A classified weilder of this rules a volcanic island; fits Ta-Koro style. Crystal -- Fits Ko-Metru, lightstones, heatstones, etc. Void -- Vacuum element; I think it fits best as its own element with its own EE, not as a "sub-element" of all others. Plus fits Levhak Kal better. Blue Fire -- The important element of the RPG, as fans of it already know -- probably best not done in Bionicle though. Shade -- Similar to Shadow, but not inherently evil. So stories about heroes who use the darkness are possible here. Another that's probably kept to fanfics. Music -- Sounds weird, but it's tied in with a classified physics concept of the BP that will be revealed in the Le-Koro RPG level. Is an abstract. Ghost -- Control semi-tangible ghostly materials that can defy gravity. Ocean -- a mutated element from Water; weilders can breathe water and repair wooden boats. Garden -- a mutated Le element, similar to Plants, but more for growing crops for food and controlling plant arrangement. Forge -- a mutated element from Ta; includes ability to make metal and melt it. Shredder -- a mutated Po element, can shred stone into fine sand with energy beams. Clockwork -- a mutated Onu element; can reshape any solid into clockwork parts and understand such machines inherently. ____? --- I still need a suggestion for a Ko-equiv for these mutated elements. Any idears? [EDIT: The above six are the Kriitunga elements. Also, the Ko-element is stasis.] Memory -- an abstract element Psionics -- an abstract element Venom -- an evil element Frost -- painfully cold evil element Tar -- an evil element Creation -- a Legendary; includes ability to know how to make things work, and to make them from elemental energy. Chaos -- a Legendary; includes ability to make order chaotic, plus understanding of "chaos theory" -- controlling things that seem random but are really more like complex dominoes, like dropping a feather, or hitting a target from a distance just right, etc. And there are quite a few more that are too classified to reveal. Petitions As I had to say recently, many members seem to think it's wise to make petitions for any random feeling they have. If you wish Bionicle would go back to styles that sold poorly, you make a petition. If you wish LEGO could magically make prices go down with no reductions in sets, you make a petition. If you dislike Onua Mata, you make a petition. If you want free cookies for life, you make a petition. Guys, that doesn't make any sense. First, you must logically determine what LEGO actually should do. Not just what you personally want -- that's personal taste. Bionicle has to appeal to the majority taste, which isn't necessarily the same as your own tastes. And your tastes aren't "better" than everybody else's either. Everybody's equal; to imply otherwise is a form of discrimination, as I talked about in a past entry here. Also, we are a very tiny minority among the fanbase -- sales results are a much larger form of "petition", and LEGO does listen to sales results quite a bit. So LEGO is concerned with what the fans want, enough to do focus group research and sales analysis and various other things instead of just making random things and hoping they sell. We shouldn't puff ourselves up so we think we're the only fans, or worse, the only fans that matter. Everybody matters. "Die-hard fans" -- I've heard the argument that devoted older fans are somehow more valuable. I would actually argue the opposite -- toys are for kids. Have you ever seen those cereal ads where they say "These are for kids, silly!"? Well, us adult fans must always remember that we are guests to this experience. Devotion is great, but acting spoiled is not. We should be grateful for the many nods LEGO has sent our way (especially including the storyline reason the Nuva were brought back -- remember that was never motivated for set reasons anyways; it was to have the Nuva in story spotlight). So petitions like that only send the signal that we want to bite the hand that's feeding us, I'm afraid. Now, sure, petitions for logical, good causes are okay. I've supported one -- the "bring back the collectibles" one. But that was because the starter thought things through and came up with an idea that was actually plausible. That's the key. Requests No matter what I do I just can't seem to get in the mood to fulfill some art requests from some of you. I apologize for the rediculous delays, and I'm afraid the delays are just going to continue for another few weeks at least. I will try to fulfill the requests I have at this point. However, from now on, I will not be accepting any art requests at all. No av requests, no banner requests, nothing. I just need to get that load off my shoulders so I can focus on other things. Sorry. Mysteries One of my favorite things, as a writer, is just reading storyline debates many of you have. Because recently some of my best ideas for Bionicle Paracosmos mysteries have come from things you guys have said. Obviously, I can't get specific or it would ruin the surprises. But the ideas can come from the least expected places. Similar to how I got great new element ideas from the "What Don't You Want" topic (), I got a great mystery idea from someone else who was arguing recently about how something was impossible. Basically, it made me think "what if it was possible? What could cause it?" and I made a comparison to something in the real world that fits the scenario, and modified it to make it possible in Bionicle. So keep on debating guys. This Week and Next Week Probably gonna be busy this week, as I've got a big to-do list from the Dreaded Real Life. I'm hoping to set a new policy in stone related to storyline so we can announce it soon. Don't worry, nothing unusual. Not sure what to expect for next week's schedule but something has come up that might cause me to be away for several days. If I do have time, I'm trying to catch up on all the Gold Key to Nongu nominations that have made. The problem is, some of the nominations seem so good I haven't had time to read them in detail due to their length. Workin on it... Next Survurlode Interview I have three ideas for who to interview next, hopefully in May. But I can't decide which of the three it should be. I am leaning towards a Lawyerahk named Bob -- I usually interview somebody that was hinted at in a past interview, and Lawyerahks are the most obvious category of those. But there's someone else who should be very interesting and who was named in one of the older interviews that I haven't got around to yet (and would be well timed). There's a third new character who should be really fun, but he hasn't been hinted at or introduced at all. Future Blog Contest I got a great idea for another blog contest. But since I'm already running one right now, I'm keeping it classified for now. Suffice to say, whatever you are expecting, that's not it. -
So I wanted to post something besides the usual essay today but couldn't think of anything fast enough. This is a fallback I've had ready for a while, ever since an old (dead) COT topic. Plus someone else was blogging about UFOs so why not (see Czar's blog). Now, the UFOs in question here aren't the flying saucers. It's the giant, silent triangle craft with three running lights. There have been sightings all over the country, and I even know someone who claims to have seen one. This description is near-universal. It seems unlikely to me that it's made up. Well, a few months ago, there was an episode of Mythbusters that gave me an idea: Why I Think This is Plausible First of all, everybody's probably going "But what about ET?" Well, the answer is ET is working for us, and Rahkshi don't have running lights last I checked. But seriously, I don't think any of the alien ideas are actual plausible theories. That doesn't mean it's impossible -- believe me, I'd love it if there were aliens and if they had wacky enough technology to actually come here. But there's three huge problems with the idea: 1) Statistics. Statistically the chances of life-supporting planets being close enough to us for a sublight trip here (and then only to fly around trying not to be seen) are pretty unlikely. Never mind the fact that in both major origins worldviews, logically, it's unlikely that aliens exist at all, but that's a subject we can't get into here (and is full of confusion among the populus). Statistics for the homes of aliens are an even bigger problem. 2) Travel time. Let's assume that there's an intelligent, highly advanced alien civ on a planet on the other side of the galaxy. Unlikely, but pretend. They would have to spend hundreds of thousands of years to get here as sublight speeds, since there's an upper speed limit called the speed of light. Matter cannot reach or surpass this speed. So unless some aliens figured out how to make warp drive a reality, it's unlikely they'd come here. 3) Least likely scenario. There's two main possibilities for these UFOs IMO: (1) They're classified aircraft, and (2) They're aliens. Since we know the US de-classifies aircraft every once in a while, we can assume they have classified aircraft right now. So for both the silent triangles and flying saucers, isn't it logical to conclude the UFOs are most likely classified aircraft? The argument I see so often is "Here's evidence that there's really a UFO.... Therefore aliens are real." That makes no sense, really. Evidence that an unidentified flying object really is flying, and really is unidentified, is just that -- evidence that something's in the air that we don't know what it is. It's a giant logical leap to say it proves aliens. No, I would argue that it barely even implies them. I think a much better argument is "Here's evidence of UFOs, and also, we can assume USA has classified aircraft. Putting two and two together, UFOs are probably just classified aircraft." And then, the triangle shape of this theory would explain one of the types we hear about so often. *waits for government to storm house* ----------THIS PRESENTATION SPONSORED BY:---------
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I'm really short on time today so I'ma gonna use a quote from one of my posts. This is from Emperor Kraggh's topic: How Do Newcomers View Nostalgia? which is, BWT, almost dead despite being an interesting topic. (Revival is 30 days in GD so there's still time to post as of this moment!) Bold is for important points, not emotionalism. This is just my view of it; I'm no scientist, but it fits perfectly with my observations of myself, you guys, people in real life, etc. It seems that not only is enjoyment about personal taste, but about the "lockdowns" we impose on our own tastes. Sorta like a "cool kid" in school letting everybody else tell him what he's allowed to like just so he isn't seen as "weird" (which is rather silly considering everybody's supposed to be weird, not clones lol), only in this case we are letting a past experience tell us perhaps too exactly how we are to be pleased. And lemme emphasize that this shouldn't be interpreted as preachy -- it's up to you if you want to "unlock" your own tastes fully, or if you want to stick to a more narrow definition of what you allow yourself to like. It's all taste, therefore subjective, therefore it's not a crime to be confined by nostalgia. However, "unlocking" it may very well help you be a happier person, so it's worth considering! A simple trick is to pretend that every year, you are coming into it like a new fan, who doesn't remember the old years, and just let your own tastes judge the new year freely, in the same way your tastes judged the old year. Doesn't mean you'll necessarily like new as much as old, but perhaps it can help. Everybody on BZPower who has ever said that they have tried this tells me that it works for them.
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A poem from that Poetry class last semester. 1-800-HAPPY-SMILE-KIT Are you suffering from depression? Do you have low self-esteem? Do you have trouble guffawing when the boss cracks a lame joke? I’m Nicholas T. Bernard, and you need my Happy Smile Kit! You’ve been told to read “self help” books, but the authors are charlatans – frauds! You’ve been told to count pills, but look at the side effects! Studies prove that most depression is rooted in your surroundings. Your senses. My Happy Smile Kit has everything you need to tickle forth a smile! Smiles are the key to happiness! Look at your walls. Maybe you see dull, chipping paint, or faded, off-white wallpaper from the 1800s? No more! The Happy Smile Kit comes with seven vivid neon color plates, made of high-quality posterboard with our smiley-face logo watermark. Hang them all over those walls! Maybe you’re rudely shaken from sleep by a series of impersonal beeps every morning? No more! This decorative smiley-face clock wakes you up with a personalized voice recording from me! Simply record your name in the speaker, and you’ll get one of seven random encouraging messages addressed right to you every morning! Does the slob in the next cubicle always get his mug shot framed as “Employee of the Month”, never you? No more! The kit comes with a picture frame with the words “Person of the Year” emblazoned in gold ink at the bottom. Simply slide a picture of your grinning face in and pin it to your cubicle wall! It doesn’t stop there! There’s a smiley-face watch that says “You’re a great person, (insert your name)!” every hour! There’s a soothing sunlamp that doubles as a star ball, painting a smiling constellation on your ceiling at night! There’s a bobblehead “thumbs-up” doll of me! There’s a smiley-face umbrella, a smiley keychain, and a smiley coffee mug! All this is a 100-dollar value, now only 79.99! Call 1-800-HAPPY-SMILE-KIT now to order! But wait! There’s more! Order now and we’ll throw in a FREE smiley-face toothbrush, so you won’t gross people out with all that smiling! Again, that number is 1-800-HAPPY-SMILE-KIT. That’s 1-800-HAPPY-SMILE-KIT. Call now!
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This is one of my poems from the Poetry class I mentioned I'm taking at my college. Lemme know whatchall think of it. The Orange Fades I saw a carved pumpkin on a porch yesterday. It made me think of an old Autumn-themed scrapbook from my childhood. I pick it up, feel its orange-leather cover. I open it and step into all the photos I wish I’d taken. An unpainted, wooden storefront towers over me, barrels of gourds and miniature pumpkins out front. Orange, red, yellow maples and oaks wreath the building. Five plywood planks climb over wild grass to the front door. Photograph taken by a heavy black camera, leather grips on the sides. Reels of cider film inside, developed in a red darkroom somewhere in the city. I struggle to remember more about the scene. What was inside the store? Did I even go in? No, I stayed in the car. Was that the rusty blue Aerostar? An eyeless face with dry off-white fur and orange pimples. Pumpkins everywhere in a field full of what might be hay, might be straw. Some with brown rough spots. Others neon orange. I turn around, my sneakers crunching the hay or straw. All I see is pumpkins, like an ant in a vat of candy corn. Two photographs. First taken with a panoramic camera, printed in vivid colors, patterns of curvature of orange dots created by the panorama. Second taken from a helicopter directly above me, looking down at the field, the smiling road, the wild apple-orchard hair. A barrel lodged in the middle of a wall, made of rich, dark wood paneling clothed with shelves full of cinnamon candy sticks, mugs, pumpkin carvers. The smell of apple cider draws me to the barrel. Paper cups catch cider from the tap, and I don’t care that liquified worms might also be soaking my tongue. Photograph taken with a disposable camera. Smell of cider captured inside a sealed plastic tube that I filled with for a week, and only open rarely. After ten years, the smell is almost gone. A row of characters I imagined with my carving knife and markers. Obese green and yellow gourds with warts. White and yellow speckled midgets with crowns. Titans with jagged orange teeth. One squat miniature pumpkin had a blue and white snowsled origamied and markered from posterboard, and a paper hat with an open top for his stem. He had a name. What was it? Photograph taken of the whole group that year, seven in all. An eighth later preserved, a softball-sized pumpkin with white-out eyes, hollowed and laminated, the clear plastic so thin I can still feel the texture. But it didn’t fit in the scrapbook, so it became a windowsill decoration. The dust blurs the texture and the sun washes out the orange. But I stand in front of the house with that pumpkin, carved by another’s hands. It’s not the same. The scrapbook in my hands crumbles to dust. The orange mist fades from sight, from existence. I clench my fists, knowing that in ten more years even what’s left of the memories may be gone.
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This is just a quick story for my Screenwriting Workshop summer class -- everybody in class liked it, so I figured, "Why not have a blog entry AND homework done?" Inspired in part by the Hagar the Horrible comic strip. It's written in the format for a screenplay (as close as BZP formatting can do), which might be a little jarring at first. Some tips -- "beat" means "slight pause", and the all caps either introduce a new character or are sound effects. Enjoy! --------------------------------------------------------------- Wise Guy FADE IN: EXT. MOUNTAINTOP – DAY PILGRIM, young man, reaches the top of a mountain. Wise OLD MAN, short, long gray beard, thick gray clothing, cloth hood, sits atop mountain. Peak has a small plateau surrounded by a few pointy rocks on the edges. Small stone house behind old man on other side of plateau. Snow covers house, ground, and old man’s hood and shoulders. Sound of WIND WHISTLING through the rocks. PILGRIM Greetings, oh Wise Man! I have heard of your great wisdom, so I have traveled far to this mountain and struggled for days to reach the top to seek-- OLD MAN Yeah, yeah. My nose can tell. Go away. PILGRIM Oh! I’m so sorry if I have offended you in my rush to beg your advice! Such is my great foolishness compared to your lofty wisdom! OLD MAN I know. Scram. PILGRIM Please sir, I will leave quickly once you give me advice. You see, there’s this girl— OLD MAN You know how many times some random pilgrim has said that? Everybody thinks they can come here and say “How?” and I jump up, salute, and say “That’s how!” like a slave. I’m SICK of it. PILGRIM But sir! Your wisdom is so great, and I have traveled so far to learn of it! OLD MAN Well that was stupid. You think I came up here to have company? Pilgrim is silent, stunned look on face. OLD MAN Are you still here? Look, let me guess. You’re dating her, but she can’t stand your drinking problem, and you’re afraid to ask her to marry you. PILGRIM Why, yes sir! How did you know? OLD MAN Please. The nose, remember? Besides, look behind you. What do you see? Pilgrim turns. A line of OTHER PILGRIMS stretches for miles down the mountain, some coming, some going. OLD MAN Now do I have to spell it out, or do you have a brain? PILGRIM No sir. I mean, yes… (beat) What is your advice, great wise one? OLD MAN Marry the girl, quit drinking, work hard, invest in mountain climbing gear. (beat) Divorce the girl, start drinking again, retire, and write a book on why you shouldn’t invest in mountain climbing gear. (beat) Get rich. Then re-marry the girl, and keep drinking. Got it? Now go away. PILGRIM But sir! She doesn’t care about money. That’s what I love about her. OLD MAN Bah. Old man tugs his beard. OLD MAN Well, that was my giveaway advice. If you want anything else, you must answer a riddle. PILGRIM I’ll try. OLD MAN Where can a hermit find peace? Pilgrim looks deep in thought. OLD MAN And “on a distant mountain” is not an option… PILGRIM Well, I live in the city, and nobody ever asks me for advice. And I shave my beard. Old man’s eyes widen. He lifts his beard up, stares at it. OLD MAN Oh. I guess I forgot to shave again. Old man looks at pilgrim. Drops beard with a RUSTLING SOUND. OLD MAN Irony and paradox! The best place to avoid people is where the people already are. Brilliant! I say, young man, you are the wise one. (beat) You know, there really is no rum here. No beer, no wine. Would your girl, by chance, like a home with a scenic view? Pilgrim slowly grins. FADE OUT.
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When ya see a topic in LGD about the LEGO Drome Racing game, and don't see your name mentioned anywhere on the first page... it's a good sign you're waaaay out of it, lol. Many of you newer members probably don't even realize who I am when it comes to the drome. So today I thought I'd take a little zoom down memory highway... When the drome first came out, I logged on, because I love racing games, almost as much as battle games, so I thought, eh, why not? Might be fun. I was a little surprised at first that it wasn't a steering game--you don't actually get to drive the car down a track, you set up the race strategy beforehand and let the computer simulate the race. The music was what hooked me, I think. I loved that music. I had to pick a team of course, and H.O.T.--High Octane Team--stood out the most to me. So an H.O.T.er I became, and I was glad of it. My experience showed that it was indeed the best team, for the longest running time. Keep in mind that at this time, all that we had was a Jungle Track and a perpetual "Coming Soon" list of other tracks. And level D--nothing higher. But that fitted me too--I liked the Jungle track, and the car I had--a Scorcher--did what I needed it to do. I needed a name, of course, and couldn't think of one, so I looked at the avatars available. The Skeleton stood out most to me. So I became "bones." But that was taken--and I refuse to string some random "54721495" number at the end of a name. So I decided to go with Roman Numerals for 3... but even that would not quite do. It needed to be distinctive, and I knew immediately how it would be. It would always be lowercase. bonesiii. Not Bones The Third, but "bones triple 'i'". So I raced a few races, figured out some winning strategies, and found I was quite adept at it. Those strategies, which are still classified (), turned out to even more winning than I thought. I went in to check the high scores one time... and lo and behold. I was first place. Of everybody. What shocked me most was that I was the only one who seemed to have thought of my strategies. Now to be fair, it -was- a new game. I'd always wondered how people get to the top of such high-scores lists, and short of just plain insanity, I think most get there because they got a big head start. That was true in my case--but now how could I hold the lead? Well, that's classified. But hold it I did, for a long time. The game grew up, and many competent racers tried to pass me but failed. Somehow I managed to become the Drome's very first major, long-term champion. I held the lead for at least half a year, maybe more, though now my memory of it grows dim. Eventually a maverick passed me, but even after I was reduced to second place, H.O.T. still dominated the Jungle Track, and overall was ahead of every other team. With most, they were ahead by a lot. I don't know what it was, and I'd like to hope that my big forefront lead helped H.O.T. stay ahead so long. But I strongly suspect the main driving force was the everyday team member, working hard behind the scenes to push those numbers up like one of Lord Survurlode's floods. That Maverick soon passed me by thousands. So far ahead I could never catch up and also have a life--it was just a fun game after all, and by that time I was beginning to get involved here. And yet... Maverick did not pass H.O.T. That I could not have done alone. Not possible. Now of course, the drome is different. My old account didn't work (I actually had had to get a second one before due to a glitch, becoming "bonesiii_v2"--that one now is abandoned as well). I have a new screenname for the new Drome, and I did race some races for sheer nostalgia, but to be honest since then I've forgotten the password. It was fun for a time but now I've moved on "to bigger and better things" as it were (BZP! ). I have now officially retired. So there it is in a nutshell. Y'all might know me now as the storyline geek for Bionicle, but my original claim to fame was as a Drome Champion. To this day I keep the basic idea of a skull insignia as my avatar here, and obviously the name has stuck, although nowadays I give in a little and capitalize it sometimes. But the Drome wasn't special to me just because I was a champion. Frankly, I don't even care about that. What impressed me was the teamwork that I saw evidence of, even though nobody really knew each other and there was no method of communication (other than BZP and other such outside places, and I did have the honor of meeting many fellow dromers). When you think about, all online communities and indeed just about everything else works for the same reason. It isn't the "champions" that make something great. It's the whole team. And my tactics are still classified.
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The Frog in the Bog The frog in the bog dislikes smog and fears dogs near the clog in its log near the soggiest jogger who flogs lazy hogs, drinks eggnog, and plays Pog in the foggiest fog in the bog, turning cogs using togglable progs in the log'rithmic blog about Gog and Magog typed by groggy couch-hogging green frogs who read logs while they jog in the foggiest fog by the log in the bog! ... You're probably wondering if I've gone insane--no, no, just felt like putting this up since I worked kinda hard on it and I think it's fun. It's what I call "Tri-Syllabic Poetry"; you find all the possible beginning sounds/letters for a rhyming sound you know, and try to write a poem with it that has some sort of coherence (as in, some sort of rough storyline...)--and it MUST rhyme every three syllables. Not that easy really. Ya gotta make charts and stuff. Had thought of it last year but never had opportunity to waste time on it, but recently in Linguistics we studied minimal pairs, which are words that basically only have one difference (Fog/Bog)... plus we're starting the Poetry section in another class, and I'm not normall into Poetry... at all... so I needed some excercise to get into it, lol. It works really well with Bionicle; there's so many "ahk"s and things like that. I wonder if anyone can come up with one to beat this'n: Kopaka's Akaku Kopaka's Akaku shows Rahkshi who flock near a rock as they thaw cold Bohrok and this shocks poor Kopaka who locked them in blocky ice boxes; he gawks as Bohrok start to walk and then mock him with talk--they're Bohrok Kal--and knock o'er the rock like a sock then they rocket at Vakama's Croc, which unlocks any lock, like Cahdok and Gahdok's, while the Rahkshi just balk at Kopaka like jocks--at a dock o'er in Ga-Koro, Thok and Piraka Avak come in Vahki boats, Zaktan by ox-pulled cart, Hakann, Reidak, and Vezok by Brutaka's mask, mocking Kopaka with hockey sticks, chalk art, and talk--all this knocking, unlocking, and mocking's from clocks--Evil Clocks! Even harder would be making it actually fit official story, XD... In case anyone is curious (and really, really bored), here's the rules I was sticking to: 1) MUST rhyme every 3 syllables. 2) Must use as many 3rd-syllable starting sounds and/or letters as possible, including mixes (like "smog" or "frog"). 3) Must not repeat excessively. 4) Must have some sort of logical cohesion. 5) Focus on sound primarily, not letters, since that's where rhyming comes from. Kopaka's Akaku contains every single possible beginning sound in the English language, incidentally, not counting mixes, except the "zh" sound (as in "Jacque"--if yall wanna beat me figure out how a French name can go in Bionicle ). You can "cheat" to get the rhyme too--I got "yahk" by saying "by ox" which phonetically is /bajaks/ (bahyahks).
