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MetaStriker posted a topic in Comedies--- Tahu’s Consequence Prologue: Capture In Ko-Metru... I have to keep running. For me. For them. For us. Using his Suva to telepathically connect to his Kakama Nuva, Kopaka weaved in and out of the streets, past oblivious Dark Hunters and Makuta, as he sped towards the Silver Sea. I don’t know why they didn’t tell me. They should’ve told me. Tahu wasn’t the only one who lost Lewa and Gali. Kopaka stopped in an alley to catch his breath. Lewa’s death had been announced years ago with the disappearance of the Mahri. No one seemed to know how he died or where his body was… That’s interesting. They could announce Lewa’s death. But they couldn’t acknowledge the statuses of the Mahri or Gali? I’m starting to see why they didn’t trust her. Checking warily around the corner using his Akaku, Kopaka sped out again, running to the shoreline. He slammed into a wall of protosteel. “Argh!” Kopaka fell to the ground, his vision spinning out of control. “What the--how did I not see this?” Considering that he literally has the Mask of Sight, I’m wondering the same thing. ...we couldn’t even make it two hundred words, could we? Ugh... In NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD... Hey, I’m the one who’s supposed to think of some narration to follow up this awfully cheap plot point. And I can’t think of anything that could possibly make this any less cheesy. Why don’t you just READ THE SCRIPT THAT I GAVE YOU? Frankly, that’s no fun. And come on. You’d think that after the second rewrite of this chapter, you’d actually have something reasonable written down. First of all, this is only the FIRST rewrite of this chapter. I added it in the anniversary edition. Hm. Okay. Second, the city’s in lockdown. There’s Dark Hunters and Makuta patrolling the streets. Of course there’s extra added security. Sure. And last, but CERTAINLY not least, you’re not the author of this comedy. Even you were, it wouldn’t fix the problems that you believe exist in it, because you’re the root of every single interruption and detraction from the story that has occurred thus far. ...ouch. I’m really getting annoyed here. You need to calm it down, dude. Are we done here yet? Or do you guys want to introduce yourselves? We’ll save it for a happier chapter, Transition Guy. At the moment, I think Narrator needs to wallow in his own pity and actually do what I tell him to do. Fair enough. Minutes Later, at the Border of Ko-Metru… “Hey! Wake up! I have to arrest you and capture you! Grrrrrrr!” Kopaka’s eyes snapped open. A few feet above him, The Shadowed One bent over, looking down at Kopaka’s face. His face was trying to be terrifying, but the Toa was not fazed. “Really? This huge, stealthy chase scene to escape Metru Nui, just to get caught by you?” Kopaka stood up calmly, staring TSO down. “This isn’t even a defeat in my eyes. It’s quite laughable, in fact. How’s your pizza protodermis rash faring?” TSO blankly looked at Kopaka. “I’m not joking. I’m actually here to throw you in jail. And I mean, it certainly got oily and red, but I squeezed all the dots away. No worries.” “That’s disgusting. You’ll definitely be scarred for life. Thankfully, that won’t be much longer for you.” “What? The dots weren’t long! They were dots!” Kopaka facepalmed. “You doofus. I meant your life.” “Hey!” TSO took out his Staff of Protodermis and pointed it at Kopaka. “I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid!” Down the Road… “He’s so stupid,” Helryx muttered as she heartlessly steered her truck towards Kopaka. “What? I don’t want to kill him!” Helryx turned to the audience. “He won’t die if I run him over! I promise!” Instantly, her fourth tire blew out, making her lose control of the van. The van veered left and right down the street as it sped towards Kopaka and TSO. Kopaka jumped back, hearing the van uncontrollably weave through the last two intersections. Diving out of the direct impact zone, Kopaka shot a sheet of ice into the street parallel to the protosteel shell. The truck exploded upon impact, launching Kopaka ten feet away, sprawling onto the concrete ground. He blacked out. An Hour Later… “Honey! Wake up!” Helryx blinked. For a split-second, she saw that she had landed at the foot of the protosteel wall, which had broken open from the explosive impact. Her feet were hanging off the edge, into the Silver Sea. “Never...again, Teridax.” She stood up, imbalanced from the explosion. Her armor, yet again, was scorched, and she was forty-nine percent sure she had broken her foot. “Where’s TSO?” Teridax motioned behind him. TSO’s body was still. “No...don’t worry, he’s not dead. I’m pretty sure he’s just dreaming about the Link is Dead in Majora’s Mask theory.” “Ugh. I kinda wish he didn’t make it, to be honest. And...Kopaka?” “He’s holding on by a really thin icicle. We’re not sure if he’s going to make it.” Helryx scowled. “That ice joke sucked. And no. We need him alive. He’s the only feasible key I have to find Tahu.” “Oh,” Teridax said, stepping back. “My bad.” “And get back here.” As he continued to shy away from Helryx, she strutted over and clamped his arm. “You’re not any better than them. You’re going to suffer the repercussions of your choices, just as everyone who has failed to support me will. I am ruthless.” To Be Continued… ---
Day 9 (I guess?)
MetaStriker posted a blog entry in blogs_blog_1909Well, I guess they still haven't turned off Premier Perks. Which means I can still post on this blog. I really don't have much else to say, besides please for the love of all things vote for a title. That's about it. P.S. As quoted from Discord, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the next game Sakurai is working on is a crossover between FE and Smash Like, all of the FE characters fight like they're in Smash, but there's an actual story, dialogue and choices like in FE Super Smash Bros. Emblem, releasing tomorrow. That's what Nintendo needs to sell 100M Switch units. That one game. Saturday, July 29th, 2017. Count on it. Can't possibly be a worse idea than The Emoji Movie anyway. Well, whatever. It's been a fun time. ~MetaStriker
Day 8: The Entry to End All Entries
MetaStriker posted a blog entry in blogs_blog_1909Hah, I said yesterday would be my last entry but it wasn't. I guess I didn't accurately grasp the concept of "one week" and didn't think the Premier Perks would extend all day Thursday. My bad. Well anyway, I really have nothing to reveal regarding the STILL UNTITLED REMAKE COMEDY. At this point, I'm either going to have to go with SPIRIT's title or just slap something else up there. Also, make sure to check out OKONICLE: The Okay Chronicle!! It's a comedy collaboration between myself and Master Inika on the story of 2001...somewhat. Check it out, it's something that I hope is fun for everyone to read! Here's the link: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25003-okonicle-the-okay-chronicle/ Again, I don't have an official release date for The Hero Tahu, but trust me when I say that I am working on it and it will most definitely come. Above all, I want to give the comedy the level of polish it deserves, no matter how long it takes, because I know it's all worth it. Perhaps I'll release a spin-off? I'm not entirely sure, but it's something I may look into eventually. Right now, my priorities are whatever's going on in my life, followed by OKONICLE, followed by THT. Whatever the case, I hope to be around here as much as I can. Until I feel that I'm done. And don't worry, I'm not done yet. I haven't been done for years. Even when I took a hiatus in 2013, I kinda figured I'd be back someday. I'm happy I am. See you next July 20th, ~MetaStriker
Day 5: Untitled Remake Comedy Bonus Content
MetaStriker posted a blog entry in blogs_blog_1909Day 5!! Already two days before I bid my blog goodbye for a year. Sad. Well anyway, today I'm going to throw together some hodge-podge stuff. Some timeline info on the remake, some deleted scenes. Teasers for the third season will come tomorrow and Wednesday. Hope you enjoy! GENERAL NOTES ABOUT THE REMAKE Four seasons - Transport, Consequence, The Hero, CENSORED (what? I can't give you the title just yet!) Replacing The Adventures of Tahu canon (this is correct) Will obliterate The Fire Chronicles canon (Yes. As stated before, TFC and its sequel are no longer canon with the release of this comedy.) Releasing chapters weekly, at least 6-7 days apart (Besides a few monthly gaps, this remained mostly true.) PSAs, Specials, Interviews still exist (That they do.) Brutaka/Vezon storyline = main addition (Brutaka was a minor character in TAoT. Here, he's a major character along with Vezon, despite their mysterious showings so far. They'll be further explored in The Hero Tahu.) More epicomedy (Somewhat true, but a large number of chapters in this comedy have contradicted this.)Humor is mostly reserved to NAW characters (This is mostly true, however.) [*]TNTS, Narrator, Censorer, Transition Guy, Guardius, Formata, Extra Guy (Yup.) [*]No stupid romantic subplots. (Almost...) [*]Will Hero Factory appear? If so, not until S2E10. (You'll see.) [*]No fan-made characters or Nintendo storyline, besides NAW (Still remains true. Meta may be a white and gold version of Meta Knight, but he's also a part of MetaStriker so...) [*]Only Narrator ventures out of Wig Salon. (Pretty much. TSO joined him last-minute.) [*]Less extra characters; characters that appear are mainly recurring/play some major role in story (Mostly true, though I'm looking to add a few characters in The Hero Tahu.) [*]More background (YES.) [*]Lewa's dead. (Yup. This was explained.) [*]Motivation for fighting. (I mean, if you haven't seen it by now...) [*]Still needs a title (sTiLL neeDS a TiTLe) ...seriously!! Please vote for a title. Next up... UNTITLED REMAKE COMEDY PLOT TIMELINE: 2006-2011 2006 NOTE: Everything before this year has gone just as usual in the plot. The Toa Inika defeat the Piraka. The Ignika falls into Mahri Nui, and the Toa pursue it. As Teridax's essence prepares to follow them into The Cord, a hurricane destroys the Piraka Stronghold. The Piraka and Umbra are killed; as the hurricane surfaces, the leader of the Order stands in the stronghold's ruins. Helryx stops Teridax from following the Toa and forces him to form an alliance with her, or face death. Suspicious, Brutaka questions Helryx's agenda. She ignores him. Axonn sides with Helryx in agreement, without hesitation. Brutaka attacks Axonn in disagreement, but Helryx fluidly pushes Brutaka away from them, into the raging storm outside. Helryx declares an end to the Order of Mata Nui and crowns herself as empress of the Orderly Empire. Teridax officially abandons his plans and joins her, reorganizing the Brotherhood of Makuta to be an army faction under the Order. 2007 The Toa Inika transform into the Toa Mahri, fighting the Barraki in search of the Ignika, Mask of Life. Helryx and Axonn travel to Odina to ally with the Dark Hunters. They meet some of the Toa Nuva there, convincing them to abandon their mission and return to Metru Nui. Helryx effortlessly convinces the rather dumb Shadowed One to ally with them, thus gaining control of the Dark Hunter army. Teridax possesses a Maxilos robot and, following Helryx's orders, travels to the Pit jail. He kills Lesovikk, Sarda and Idris during their fight with Karzahni. Though Karzahni despises Teridax, he allies with him to stop the Mahri and join the Empire's ranks. Axonn returns to Voya Nui to lead the Voyatoran into the Nui Caves. They disappear. TSO orders a siege of Voya Nui, looting the volcano of resources and destroying all known evidence of the beings' existence on the island. Vezon comes across the unconscious Brutaka and awakens him. The two realize the Dark Hunters are attacking the island and decide to escape together. Brutaka creates a dimensional portal and they disappear through it. Axonn enters the Cord, descending to the five Toa Mahri who are preparing to destroy it. Matoro locates and swims toward the Ignika. Helryx appears, knocking Matoro unconscious. She fails to retrieve the Ignika, which falls past the void of Voya Nui into Karda Nui. The Toa Mahri ascend the Cord with the Mahritoran and destroy the Cord. Behind them, Axonn effortlessly knocks out the group, placing them into stasis tubes. He meets up with Helryx, who is lugging along Matoro in a stasis tube, and they teleport back to Daxia Fortress. Mata Nui dies. 2008 The Ignika falls into Karda Nui alone, where it sinks to the bottom of the swamp. Lewa, who is using the Great Sundial to find the Codrex, notices something fall into the water. Levitating it from the Swamp of Mystery, Lewa dons the Ignika to revive Mata Nui and dies, unbeknownst to anyone but the remaining Av-Matoran, who have no way of contacting beings outside of Karda Nui. Mata Nui is revived, but is confined within the Ignika. The mask sinks back into the swamp and lays dormant for nine years. Helryx and Axonn secure the stasis tubes in Daxia Fortress. Helryx rebuilds Teridax's old body and appoints him Assistant to Her Orderly Empress. Axonn is appointed Her Orderly Mercenary, Karzahni is appointed Her Orderly General, and TSO is appointed Her Orderly Stalwart. Helryx calls for a mass meeting in the Coliseum. She announces that Mata Nui has died despite the efforts of the Toa Mahri, but she will be leading in their stead under the Orderly Empire. Suspicious, Taka sneaks to Mangai, where he finds that the Bahrag are still imprisoned, the Great Sundial is gone, and there is no sign of Lewa's body anywhere. He returns to Metru Nui without being noticed. The remaining Toa Nuva are appointed Her Special Guard. Helryx mentions that Lewa failed to obtain the Great Sundial and was murdered alone by the Bahrag. Reunification between the Matoran/Toa/Turaga and the Makuta/Dark Hunters occurs Brutaka and Vezon arrive in the actual BIONICLE storyline, observing what could have happened if everything went as planned. Realizing the horror of Helryx's plan, they try to go back, but teleport into a different dimension… 2009 On Bara Magna, the Skrall attack the Arena Magna during the Great Tournament and destroy it.After several months of fighting, the separated tribes all surrender to the Rock Tribe. The Skrall Empire, led by Tuma, takes control of Bara Magna and dismantles the Glatorian system. [*]Brutaka and Vezon arrive in "The Adventures of Tahu" storyline. They realize how bad the writing and jokes are and get out of there. [*]Taka journeys to Artakha and tells the being about his discovery. Artakha begins to dissent against the Orderly Empire. 2010 BIONICLE ends in the real world. The story of HERO FACTORY is established in the real world, and thus becomes a part of all alternate universes.Von Nebula loses to the Alpha Team, and is jailed inside his Black Hole Staff, spiraling through black holes continuously. [*]Artakha continues to reject the ideals of the Empire. Karzahni quietly lays siege to the island, destroying its Crystal Serpents and imprisoning his brother on his own island. [*]Brutaka and Vezon arrive in "Tahu vs. Tahu," where they see Tahu Stars singing his sword. Scrambling into the basement, they meet the dual Vezon toys for a quick sip of tea before they jump to another dimension. 2011 I join BZPower on March 19th, 2011. BZPower's Forum Construction occurs. The forums return in October 2011. Defeated, Von Nebula continues to spiral through tunnels of his black hole.He finally emerges on the coffee table of the Toa Nuva meeting room in Daxia Fortress. They freak out and alert Helryx. Helryx also freaks out. Teridax rushes in and uses his shadow powers to reanimate the portal and send Von Nebula back through the black hole. [*]Aware that Artakha has been incarcerated for rebelling, Taka goes to the Turaga of Metru Nui. They have also been suspicious of the empire. He tells them to not tell any of the Toa Nuva, but Nokama tells Gali. [*]Brutaka and Vezon arrive in "Choose Your Own BIONICLE Adventure." They choose to hop another dimension. === Wow. I'm sure that provided a ton of backstory. Keep in mind that the remake takes place in 2016-2017, so there's still five years of content I've yet to reveal One more small tidbit: Deleted Scene (Tahu’s Transport, Chapter 5) Moments passed. Moments turned to minutes. Minutes passed to ten-minute increments, because the author just had to draw out the dramatic effect as long as possible. … You can’t disagree. Now, normally this is the part where Helryx has some dramatic monologue about trying to find a little droplet of water to create a geyser out of, which symbolizes how one little slice of hope can achieve success. But since this is the second time we’re retelling this story, we’re going to drag out the dramatic effect of waiting even longer. And even longer than that. You know what I don’t agree with? The fact that we managed to fix so much about what was going wrong with this comedy, yet you got more annoying. Dude. Character development. Dude. Plot > Pointless Little Banter Between The Author And His Annoying Narrator. Keep math out of this. As a droplet of water fell from a broken sewage pipe, the droplet expanded in milliseconds to create a geyser out of. === Short, but sweet. I cut that part out because it was too drawn out and too rant-y for my tastes. This would've occurred from when the crowd of Matoran, Toa and Turaga rush into Nuju's Lab to see Helryx seemingly crushed under the pile of debris to when she rises out to give her terrorizing speech and kills Nuju. Good stuff. See you all tomorrow!! Hope you enjoyed this post and if you have any thoughts why not post them below in the comments? ~Meta
MetaStriker posted a blog entry in blogs_blog_1909Hey guys! http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/23623-tahus-transport/ http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/24356-tahus-consequence/ Now is your chance to choose a name for the untitled remake of The Adventures of Tahu! The remake has been running since October 23rd, 2016 and currently features two complete seasons, Season 1: Tahu's Transport and Season 2: Tahu's Consequence (both shown above.) Season 3: The Hero Tahu, is currently in pre-production, with a Season 4 planned. So yes, I'm about halfway through the remake and I don't even have a title for the whole comedy yet. I've been thinking about it for a while, but I prioritized making the comedy over creating a title for it. Now that I am taking a hiatus to get my life in order, perfect THT, and post OKONICLE, I thought it'd be a great time to explore possible names for this remake, among my other promises to release other content from the comedy. So, here are my ideas. If you have any of your own suggestions, feel free to post them in the comments, along with whatever name you may vote for. Thank you so, so much! The Adventures of Tahu: Redux The New Adventures of Tahu Tahu's Adventure Tahu's Journey |Tahu| Order and Freedom The Flames of Freedom Sparks of Justice Invented Disaster Tahu's Adventures 2: This Time It's Not Tahu's Adventures 1 ...and your own! If I think of more, I'll add them. Thank you! ~Meta
Day 4: With Hopefully More Entries on the Way...
MetaStriker posted a blog entry in blogs_blog_1909(You're probably thinking to yourself, wow, that was fast.) --- The Fire Chronicles: Finale Part 3: The Flames Die Out Forever? Several millennia ago only seemed like a few days ago for Angonce. He had spent his entire life on the planet, left to deal with beings on his own while other Great Beings left to party some light years away. And as if that wasn’t enough, he also had to deal with keeping Ranox imprisoned until the day his destiny broke him free. It was safe to say that Angonce hadn’t been having the greatest of times, and why he wanted at least one of his problems to go away made sense for sure. As Angonce battled Ranox, he thought about these things. Yeah, nothing more really needs to be said. That’s enough psychological torment for now, guys. Seriously, I need a new day job! Below Ranox… “Are you sure about this, Photok?” “He…took everything from me…my camera…my friends…my freaking liberty…well, I’m gonna give him death.” Tanma activated his wings, and Photok, on his back, activated his jet engine-thingy. “For Unity, Duty, and Destiny, let’s kill this thing, brother. For Takua.” “FOR TAKUA!” Photok screamed as they flew into the sky and attacked Ranox. Tahu only watched from the bottom, still in shock. “There’s got to be something. Why didn’t Ranox die when Helryx sacrificed herself?! They—should—both—be—dead.” “Because maybe, just maybe, the prophecy has more to tell us.” Gali landed swiftly right next to him, and gave Tahu the two parts. “That’s…incredible. What do we even—“ A wave of water pushed the two away milliseconds before a giant ball of shadow fell down below the beast, and they washed ashore next to the Wall of Records. Tahu was shivering. “How—much—longer—“ “It’ll be over soon, don’t—“ “CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT I’VE DONE? I RUINED EVERYTHING. I RUINED OUR DESTINIES.” Tahu stood up, swaying back and forth as fresh fire coursed through him. “EVERYONE’S DEATH IS MY—“ “NO!” Nuhrii and Gali tackled Tahu before he unleashed a Nova Blast and burned away the entire planet. “Stop it! None of this is your fault, none of it at all! You gave me a chance to redeem myself, a chance for everyone to rise up against this fiend and crush his hopes and dreams! And although many will go, and all will cry…” Tahu snapped out of his rage. His mask flashed gold as an ancient voice came from him. “Hidden in the forgotten land, is the story that started after the sand…the power of seven shall stand. The quiet one shall be humble until the end, but the host will seek power, and power she shall lend…to both aid and defend. There is one more fatal blow, to continue the universe’s go…two will go although, and two will mourn with a steady flow. The fallen rule shall arise in surprise, and with the other, eliminate the demise…and though many will go, and all will cry…” Gali and Nuhrii looked at each other nervously. The prophecy had unfolded right from Tahu’s mouth, right in front of their very eyes. They didn’t understand much of it, however. But Tahu did, and the truth startled him. “I need to get onto Ranox’s back.” “…what even…” Kiina said, rushing in. “I’ll tell you later…maybe. But guys, this is what needs to happen. And without buts, or whys, or any dissatisfactions, this needs to occur now. We’re so close, guys. So close.” In the Air… “You can’t win—Nui—not again…” Mata Nui swung his blade blindly and effortlessly as it cleanly sliced off the Prototype Robot’s head. He watched as the robot turned into a dark, shadowy dust and the head plummeted into a legion of Bokoblins. Mata Nui turned swiftly as he was scratched by the claws of the ferocious beast. As he moved his head more towards Ranox in an attempt to get him to touch the Mask of Life, the Great Beast kicked at Mata Nui’s chest, knocking the wind out of him and causing him to fall, as he fell he shrunk to his old size so he would not damage his fellow comrades. Ranox hovered above the ground, high in the air, as his feet began to grow closer to the ground. In doing so, Ranox grew at least one and a half times his size, and his red eyes continued to glow menacingly. "All is going according to plan. I can't fail now!" A flash of stars appeared before his eyes, and Ranox was startled to see Kirby and Angonce fly ahead of him, straight for his shadowy wings. Super Sonic hopped off Kirby’s Dragoon and made a halo-shaped tear in the first of the Great Beast’s wings, while Angonce simply tore through it in his own starship. As Ranox fell to the ground, his legs extended just a little bit, and his arms grew even more to come close to the length of his legs. Ranox snarled as he hit the ground, and shockwaves spread throughout the planet, killing most of its fauna and knocking down a good deal of the army. “Don’t worry, I can still kill you all on—wait, what is on my back?!” Tahu sat comfortably on Ranox’s back, his swords pointed down at the beast’s body. His mask was solid gold, and he gave off a radiant vibe of fearlessness and hope as he began stabbing Ranox. As Ranox turned behind him, Kiina thrust her trident into Ranox’s eye, which made Ranox grasp for his hurt eye. His legs imbalanced, he fell to the ground as cannons and mortars, commandeered by Nuhrii, Snake, and the Toa Voya, shot at the beast. “We did not fight in vain, Ranox. I hope you know that now, that all you have fought for wasn’t worth it.” “No…Tahu…maybe they did not fight in vain, but you…certainly did!” Ranox rolled around onto his back, thrusting the Toa off near the Council. In about two seconds, Ranox had turned back around and pounced onto the Toa, punching him with a shadowy fist that sent another shockwave across the planet after crushing the hero’s life force out of him. “TAHU! NO!” Kiina screamed, lunging at the beast. “YOU CANNOT WIN NOW, SEE? I HAVE DESTROYED YOUR ONE, GREAT LEADER, AND NOW HE IS GONE. AND NOW, I WILL GET RID OF EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU, AND CREATE A NEW WORLD FROM THE REMAINS OF YOUR OWN DEMISES!” “No, you will not!” A knight in gray-purplish armor appeared and stabbed Ranox in the forehead. The beast stumbled back and fell, clutching his head. “What—ow—is the meaning of—“ “Hello, old master.” Axonn stood on Ranox’s face, bold, tall, and powerful, with Ooccoo holding the Dominion Rod on his shoulder. “Fancy seeing you here in this interesting situation. I mean, I could swear you told old Axxie that he was getting something out of this, but I mean, if you want to kill me now—“ All the remaining members of the Orderly Empire II army surrounded Ranox, every single one of them ready to fire. “—you’re gonna have a baddd time.” Ranox smirked. “You honestly think your army can—“ “I didn’t say my army. I said that Axxie could…or rather, the prophecy did. So, I mean…I guess it’s gonna happen now…any last words?” “You insignificant flea! You honestly think that you and your mediocre army can kill me? Screw the prophecy…what were the words to that stupid thing anyway…only one again can rise?” “Sure,” Axonn said as he slammed his axe into Ranox’s gaping wound, and his vision turned white. ……are we in Heaven yet……? The Fire Chronicles Epilogue: Tight Ends (we hope) To Whoever it May Concern… If you’ve found this letter, well, you’ve probably been through a lot to find it. Either that, or you probably just got bored and started digging randomly near the Left Lake. I’m fine with either. Anyway, to start off, I was Tahu: Toa of Platinum at the time of writing this letter, but by the time you read this I’ll hopefully be vacationing somewhere in Tahiti…and I’ll also be known as Metahu. Sound confusing? I’m sorry, but it doesn’t get any easier from here, cupcake. Anyway, my alternate self and I have decided to split up the events after the Great War against Ranox. I guess I’ll talk about the boring stuff. After that white blinding light and stuff, Ranox’s dead beastly body kind of exploded but then sucked itself into a tiny little ball. Meta and I were the only ones awake to cast off the antagonistic particles into some other comedy, and then the vision cleared and Mata Nui restored the land to normal (again). I finally decided to cast away the Nintendo characters, as most of them belong in the new Smash and other games anyway (poor Ice Climbers though). It took about a month to rebuild everything else, although this was mainly because Meta and I sort of assisted/sat back, relaxed and drank some nice English tea. Overall, I plan to never come back and to forever seal myself away from this comedic drama…I guess to save my power? I don’t know…maybe I’m sounding just a tad bit cruel here. ~Tahu: Toa of Platinum To Our Next Great Hero (or possibly a gravedigger)… If you’ve found this by the East Lake, hey, you are a Warp Star! (Ugh, that was super corny.) My name was originally Meta Nuva, but by the time you read this I’ll be back with my somewhat mediocre opposite, merged into the wonderful new Metahu (jeez, I just hope there’s no relation to that other Great Being…) I’ve been tasked with giving a report of the occurrences of today’s troubles and stuff. So, instead of making you read a flashback of sorts, I’ll just get straight to the point. Yes, the prophecy was fulfilled, and one again did rise… thankfully it wasn’t Ranox, otherwise we’d all be dead by now. Pretty much all of the good guys made it out relatively well, and now that the remainder of the Orderly Empire’s beings are leader-less, Axonn’s made a pact with Tahu to merge both empires…no Orderly Hau though…that’d be way too weird. Gali and Kiina both survived, and both have come to the mutual agreement not to fight over Tahu (thank Nui.) Nuhrii has also been honored as a war hero, as well as Axonn and his trusty bird, who also somehow survived the fight to rejoin Link and return to the gaming world. Icarax and Takadox, while not playing a huge role in the war, did fight on our side with their legions of Rahkshi. However, when offered to be a part of the Council, both declined and went up north. Their activity is confusing, but I’m not worried at the moment… That really wraps it up. There’s not much of anything left to say here. Really, I’ve got nothing. “And you say that I rave-rant.” “Shut up, Narrator. Just because you did help save the universe does not give you the right to sass me around. Especially when I’m merged with that mediocrist.” “Aw.” “Mediocrist isn’t even a word, Meta.” “Shut up, Titler. Can we just get this over with?” “Why do you want this to be over so quickly?” “With your creations, anything can go wrong, even in the final chapter.” “…you sort of have a point there. Ah well. Any final words?” “Sorry this doofus here wrote such an awful tale.” “Sorry you had to deal with this guy, and that stupid Great Being too.” “What stupid Great—“ “See what you did? You’ve already sparked a sequel to this tragedy!” “Even though it’s already been announced…” “It’s not like anyone’s actually going to read it.” “Shut up, Narrator. Let’s just get this over with.” *_*_*_* That night, Mata Nui had a very interesting dream. It started out in the form of a Nintendo Direct, revealing several features of Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. Though Mata Nui only believed it was a dream, it was actually implemented into his head using Kirby’s mystical dream powers…if that’s what we’re calling them. The dream then shifted to Mata Nui and a few other ancient beings sitting around a dying campfire. As Mata Nui shook hands with one of them, the fire died instantly, only leaving behind its gray, but still glowing red ashes and embers. He felt chills of power, if that’s what you want to call it, surging through his body as he woke up, shivering. “That…was only…a dream…right?” No answer. Mata Nui sighed a sigh a relief. “Well then, I guess there’s no problem here.” The— “Nice EarthBound reference.” “FOR THE LOVE OF KARZAHNI, NEX!” End? --- I did post The Ashes, the nex...t installment in the TAoT series, without finishing this comedy, but I ended up cancelling it; it had very little response from the forum, was heavily unfocused, and really wasn't planned out all that well. For all intents and purposes, I am not posting any drafts from that comedy, really because I don't have much and it all makes no sense. What I'm planning to do now is vent on this blog, as expected, but also release content regarding the third season of the remake of TAoT. Later today, I'm also going to be posting a poll, sort of, where anyone will be able to suggest/vote for a title to the comedy. Keep in mind that I already have titles for each season of the remake. What I want is an overarching title that represents the comedy and plot of the story as a whole, without being terribly basic. Let's get the creative juices flowing! See you soon, ~Meta
Day 3: AMC Non-sponsored first look
MetaStriker posted a blog entry in blogs_blog_1909WOW, I didn't post at all all of yesterday and today. I'm just going to blame Splatoon 2 for that. The game is quite a beaut. Anyway, today I'm going to post the first half of THE FIRE CHRONICLES FINALE!! I originally never posted this because I thought it was horrible. While it indeed wasn't my best work, I still feel like I should have posted it, just as a form of closure to the comedy. The Fire Chronicles was cancelled in 2013 as a result of this, and also due to me entering a new phase in my life as well as the bloody data wipeouts in October 2013. Without further ado... --- The Fire Chronicles: Finale Part 1: The Dark Storm “We have to get out of here. There’s no question anymore. There has to be a way. Isn’t there?” Nuju paced through the lobby, thinking. Suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks. “Perhaps there is one way. Now that Ranox has entered the surface, there shouldn’t be anyone left to guard inside. The question is…where the gate is.” “Well, wouldn’t you know?” TT said. “I thought you would know, actually. I figured the Narrator would have said something.” “Oh, please, he never tells us anything of notable importance,” Guardius said, facepalming. “Half of the time he rants on and on about how no one respects him and stuff, but to be honest, the rest of us are really feeling that too.” “Well, I guess you’re royally screwed then.” In the Clearing… As the Council was blown to bits, time seemed to slow as a dark purplish cloud rose from the rubble. Actually, time did slow as Tahu, wearing the Vahi, dodged Ranox’s staff swing and flew out of the evil cloud. As he rose and looked around, he saw several horrendous sights. First, the ground around the Destiny Lake was enflamed. Just outside of the fire, Rahkshi, Visorak and Dark Hunters attempted to knock members of the opposing army into the fire. A few succeeded. Tahu turned away. The sky was also a dark purple, and it rained Shadow Bugs along with dark, hideous, giant monsters. Tahu watched as one of the monsters dove into a tree, and the tree was vaporized instantly. “Now, you see, we’ve hit the true terror. I’ve been waiting for millennia to unravel this plan, and now it’s about time the party’s begun. And yes, it’s only begun. I haven’t even brought beings back from the dead yet.” Ranox emerged from the shadowy vortex glowing black and purple. All signs of a water Toa’s body had now completely disappeared, and all hope of possible salvation was dissipated by gleaming red eyes. “I won’t kill you yet, though, hero. It doesn’t look like you’ve seen the terror of your consequences yet.” “I hate you,” Tahu snarled. In the North… Blasting another twenty foes away with her hydraulics, Kiina could already feel her powers subsiding. The army was gaining on them. “I won’t…give…up!” Malum yelled, shooting rows of flames at their opposers. “You’ll never take me dead!” “That’s because you’re immortal, duh, man,” Onua groaned as he pounded the earth, shaking Kraata out of their shells. Kiina stumbled, being cornered by Axonn and his trusty…bird. “No…stop…I’ve fought too long and hard…” “And yet there is one more fatal blow…wait a minute. What was that?” Axonn queried. “Nothing of your concern.” A wall of water slammed into the titan, knocking him into the river by the Water Gate. Axonn attempted to hold onto the rocks and stay amongst the steady current, but another blast pried his fingers off it and down the rocky rapids. Gali helped Kiina stand, then channeled another flood into the horde. “It’s not easy being us,” she said as she channeled a wave to sweep away their remains. “But we can deal. I think.” “I hope so.” “Even so…two will go although.” Wincing, Kiina committed herself to remembering the phrases as she channeled a huge sphere of water and hurled it at Karzahni…slowly beginning to realize the evils of their destiny. In the Desert… Right nex to the Lab of the Great Beings, a pitch-black hole had opened up. As some Goombas and Stalfos had realized after their fellow troops fell in, there seemed to be no way out. Or was there? Out of the hole peeked a little half-sphere, old and rising, and as the object continued to rise, Mata Nui’s eyes widened as he saw what exactly was happening. There, off the Prototype Robot, hung fifteen or so fallen enemies, and in the robot’s fist, were none other than CS, TT, Guardius and Chief, and in the robot’s eyes, glowed a familiar and extremely unsettling pair of red eyes. Teridax chuckled. “Looks like we don’t have a choice but to crush you, brother,” Teridax said, stomping his foot down into the soft sand and sending shockwaves throughout the planet. To Be Continued. The Fire Chronicles: Finale Part 2: Slight Reinforcements? A flash of light appeared and cut open Teridax’s grip on his prisoners. As Mata Nui willed himself to grow to a massive size, Meta Nuva caught his falling coworkers as TTP froze Teridax’s legs with solid platinum. Teridax stood, dumbfounded. “What is this—“ “Your demise,” Icarax yelled, sending a huge shadow punch into Teridax to topple him backwards into the dark pit. Heh, dark pit. That was a good one, wasn’t it? “Not really,” Meta said, landing on the ground to let his teammates rejuvenate. “It’s actually a spoiler for the sequel. Which means I probably should—“ Ganondorf’s shadowy Warlock Punch interrupted Meta and knocked him halfway across the desert. “You should probably shut the Helryx up,” he said, taunting with his sword. “I should have never let you into my comedy,” TTP said, channeling a silvery fire at the warrior. At the moment the fire hit him, he disappeared instantly. “Too bad you didn’t think of that with me,” Teridax said, rising from the pit again. “As long as this hole remains, the dead can keep coming back. Oh, look! There’s all those Rahkshi your friends just killed off.” TTP’s head immediately snapped in the direction of the dark pit. A horde of Rahkshi and Visorak rose up and started thundering towards him. “Ofrick. We’re screwed.” *_*_*_* “My power grows as each second passes. More of your troops die and are forever lost as each second passes. Look at what you’ve done, you pesky flea. All your friends die in vain, bound to some stupid, made-up prophecy. Ha, even my hostess believed in it. That’s why I’ve taken over her now. She can’t tread in my fate now.” Ranox swung his staff at Tahu, who, despite tiring, still blocked the blow. His mask began to shimmer in a golden light. “And how do you know what the future holds?” “Because I’m shaping it up to be in my own, perfect image. My planet to rule. I’ll finally show my two brothers who the real boss is. To create, I found difficult, but to destroy, is so easy. I’ll destroy all of you. But you won’t live to see it.” “Maybe you won’t live to achieve it.” Angonce appeared suddenly right next to Ranox, who jumped. “Get out! I will kill you. I don’t need you.” “Neither does she. And she’s very, very mad at you for what you’ve done to her.” “What do you mean by—“ Ranox paused suddenly, as he saw his arm pointed out and his staff aimed at his mask. “What are you playing—“ “He’s not playing at anything,” said a familiar voice. “Don’t blame Angonce for your fate.” Tahu’s jaw was hanging. “Is that—it can’t be—“ “Don’t stutter, Tahu. You know who I am. And why I’ve come back—for this short while.” “Put down the staff.” “I will not put down the staff. It’ll fall on its own right after I do this one, small thing—“ “Helryx, don—“ As she shoved the staff right through her skull, a high-pitched scream emanated from Helryx’s body as the shadowy form of Ranox exploded out of it. The noise froze time for five seconds, and after those five seconds everyone’s eyes darted to Helryx’s now-purified-but-still-lifeless body. The planet was silent as the armies huddled together, and they all stared at the one being that had made them fight for so long, and the sacrifice that unified them all as the dark pit closed at last. Needless to say, but since I’ve already broken this nice, peaceful, moment, I will say it anyway, this all lasted only a minute. Before all heck broke loose…again. *_*_*_* Tahu’s army looked up, jaws hanging and weapons dropped, as a ferocious beast hung in the sky. It was nothing more than a dark swarm of shadow, enlightened (or en-darkened?) by a pair of bright, glowing red eyes. “You thought a mere mortal could defeat me? How gullible of you! Seriously, please take out your phones and take a selfie with those dumb expressions on your faces. I actually won’t kill you.” Photok pulled out his Polaroid camera and, turning it around, took a selfie with his incomprehensible expression before Ranox sent a shadow dagger flying through the center of the camera and completely destroying it. As Photok’s expression changed to that of a spoiled little boy who didn’t get every LEGO set he wanted for Christmas, Ranox simply laughed. “What…I’m entitled to having some fun before I kill all of you!” Photok was fuming. “You killed my hero…you ruined my future…now…I’m going to ruin yours.” “Really? How?!” asked Ranox, albeit very, very sarcastically. Tahu whistled, and TTP and Meta’s army stood right in front of Tahu’s army, with the two spilt personalities leading the pack. Angonce also materialized above them, riding a golden starship that was meant to fly. “And you think that’s going to defeat me? You should raise your hands up, and touch the sky. You can’t mess with the destiny that I’ve created.” Angonce shook his head. “You’ve got it all wrong. You can’t mess with the destiny created long before us, and whatever happens now is up to what they wrote…what we all believe in…and our unity overpowers your supposed duty significantly.” “Heh, we’ll see about that—actually, no, only I will. All of you unfortunately won’t live to.” To Be Concluded. --- That was the first half of the finale--the second half will be posted tomorrow! I know it doesn't make a ton of sense but if you want to know more, you can of course leave a comment below! Thoughts? ~Meta
MetaStriker posted a blog entry in blogs_blog_1909Wow, already one day passed for blog perks. Stay tuned, guys, because I'm posting as much on here as I can, within reason. I'll probably post some old chapter drafts on here, as well as teaser stuff on Season 3: The Hero Tahu of the remake series, the latter of which is currently still untitled. On another note, I'm very excited for Splatoon 2. I don't understand why everone's criticizing it for being exactly like Splatoon OG, the gameplay was near-flawless in that game and didn't need much improvement. Obviously features like VOICE CHAT and changing your weapon between matches would have been nice additions, but it doesn't take away from the core gameplay in all its glory. With all of the CoD, FIFA, and Madden games that are reskins of the titles from previous years, I don't understand why Splatoon 2 is getting beat on so much, especially when it does have newer features, like a better single-player campaign and Salmon Run, among newer weapons, a far fresher UI, and crisper graphics. The real reason that Splatoon 2 even exists right now is so Nintendo can further promote the series and fuel Switch sales; it's a series that is clearly capable of doing so, as the original title proved so well. Well, with that, I'm going to sleep. I'll definitely be enjoying Splatoon 2 tomorrow but make sure to stay tuned for more content coming straight to NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD! ~Meta
Five years later...
MetaStriker posted a blog entry in blogs_blog_1909Wow. After five-plus years of being a member of BZP, I finally got around to making a blog during BZP's anniversary week. Took me long enough Happy anniversary, BZP. Thanks for all the opportunities you've provided to me over the years, whether for the cheeky set reviews, news about BIONICLE and LEGO, the forum upgrades, and the ability to hone my own skills in comedy and writing.
MetaStriker posted a topic in ComediesThe hackers didn't mess me up this time Presenting the finalized prologue of my invention, The Adventures of Tahu... --- Tahu’s Transport Prologue: Motives YEAR: 2007 The Toa swam, closer and closer to the hole in the ocean floor. The golden mask shined brightly in his grasp, the mask knowing that its purpose was about to be fulfilled. So did the Toa, swimming further and further away from his team and the Barraki warlords…he’d no need to say goodbye… A blue hand punched through his thoughts and into his head, knocking the Toa away. The owner of the hand, a Toa of Water, gave Toa Mahri Matoro a cold stare as she thrusted her shield down, blocking him from continuing forward. Huh? What was that? Matoro pondered. Why is this Toa here…what is she...the mask! The gold mask drifted away, falling into the hole Matoro had been approaching. Out of sight, the Ignika fell from the skies of Karda Nui into its murky swamps, where it would lay, uninterrupted, for years to come. “You’re ruining my destiny! I have to save Mata Nui! Don’t you even care that he’s about to die? You don’t even deserve to be a T--” The Toa swung her spiked mace into Matoro’s gut, knocking him out instantly. “It’s a shame you don’t care about my destiny.” She looked at her comlink, giving a thumbs-up as she rose into the mouth of the Cord... Inside the Cord… Axonn smiled as he looked at his mistress Helryx, who gave him the signal. “Well, what are you waiting for, Toa? Destroy this blasted cord!” The Toa Mahri did just that, watching Voya Nui fall straight down, crushing the remains of Mahri Nui. Axonn smiled slightly, then unsheathed his axe and smashed it into Jaller’s back, all with his battle cry. “HERE’S AXXIE!” Minutes Later… Helryx cackled, hauling an unconscious Matoro on top of the five other defeated Toa Mahri. “I don’t deserve to be a Toa. What rubbish.” “What rubbish,” Axonn repeated, opening the first of six stasis tubes that the Mahri would slumber in for years to come. Helryx shook her head. “I don’t care that Mata Nui is dead. That was his destiny. Now it’s time to take matters into our own hands. We shall, finally, create our own destinies.” YEAR: 2012 “But…she told you not to go…are you disobeying the orders of the empress?” “I have to, Tahu. It’s been racing through my mind…they couldn’t have just disappeared without not doing their job.” It was a starry night. Five years had passed since Helryx had founded the Orderly Empire, and five years had passed without any answers of the Mahri’s whereabouts. Gali, one of the most trusted members of the Toa Nuva, had grown suspicious of their disappearance, and was preparing to leave for Daxia to ask Helryx for permission to search for them...even though Helryx forbade any mention of them. “Gali,” Tahu put his arm around her, chuckling. “Pohatu and Onua disappeared to play Skyrim when they were supposed to be doing their job.” “I know, but…look, don’t worry about me.” Gali slipped away, walking to the edge of the balcony, turned towards the stars. “You know me well enough…or will I have to find a different—“ Tahu smiled. “You won’t have to—I’m always here for you, Gali…I…I wish I could go—“ “It’d be too obvious. And I know you want to get out of here.” Gali sighed. “I’m sorry, Tahu, but I can’t bear to lose…wait, why don’t you talk to Helryx about that? Maybe, like, a trip to Zakaz or the Southern Continent—“ “You and I both know that’s not what I want, Gali. No, I want to see the world, or even other worlds than this. We could expand the empire, get more resources, meet new people—and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Gali blushed. “Neither would I, Tahu. However…that will have to wait until I get back. Save the memories for me, won’t you?” Gali walked out of the apartment, leaving Tahu alone. The two would not meet again for another five years. And in that time, Gali, Tahu’s best friend and “sweetheart” was presumed dead by almost everyone. Note that I said “almost”, not— Narrator, stop spoiling the story! Sorry, boss. Moving on, then… YEAR: 2017 Ten years had passed since Helryx founded the Orderly Empire. Ten years had passed since Mata Nui had died. Five years had passed since Gali left to search for the Mahri. Five years had passed since Tahu was last happy. He had enough. He wanted answers. Answers to why he couldn’t leave to find Gali. Answers to why Helryx had outlawed Nintendo consoles in the empire. Tahu wanted a way out. A way to find Gali. A way out…of the terror he was slowly realizing the empire possessed. To Be Continued… --- Four years to the day have passed since the original comedy ended, and after sequel series, spin-offs, and reboots have tanked, I've finally decided to rewrite the original entirely and give it the level of polish and love I think it deserves. With filled plot holes and more focused humor, I hope this reboot will be something you all enjoy, even if I don't update it as frequently as you imagine I should (I'm quite busy xD). In re-rebooting the series, I've finally moved away from the plain "The Adventures of Tahu" name, because "Adventures" itself is obvious, general, and implies relations with Sonic games that I love to death but are actually terrible creations of our time . Changing the focus to Tahu himself seems so much more simplified and accurate to the premise of the entire comedy. It's not about the adventures; it's about himself and how he grows through his transport, consequences and heroes that he faces that have lasting effects on him. That is what matters. ~MS
The Fire Chronicles: Terror
MetaStriker posted a topic in ComediesI decided this time to let the old TFC topic rot away, instead having a fresh new topic to post in. It feels good. So anyway, welcome to the final season of The Fire Chronicles! For info you may have missed on Terror please check out the Spring CFE link in my sig. Character and Color Chart Prologue: Findings Chapter 1: Perceptions Special 1: Destined to Fade Chapter 2: The Long and Winding Road Chapter 3: The Bermuda Triforce PSA 1: Return of the Meta Chapter 4: Cue Gerudo Valley Music Chapter 5: Un-expectations It's all a choice. This is it. Scratch out what I said above. I'M BACK READ AT YOUR OWN RISK Well, let us start with the prologue, shall we? The Fire Chronicles: Terror Prologue: Findings In the Orderly Fortress… To the Council... I hope that when you get this it won't be too late...this is indeed a time of great terror. While the prophecy has been destroyed, and the Empire has fled Makuhero City, I hear that they are attempting to attack Spherus Magna once again...this time targeting the Gates and the Council building. I am slightly surprised that they are not searching for Icarax…but perhaps their plan is complete and they have no use for him. I have seen Ranox, ever so slowly, start to influence Helryx more. I experienced this especially after the skirmish in the Temple of Time—it’s almost as if he feels the need to do it himself. It is pitiful that she does not see the big picture: Ranox does not care about her. He simply cares about a way to get revenge—a way to destroy anyone that did and is getting in his way. And as for the Nintendo prisoners—they are easy to get back. I trust that the Nintendo characters I allowed entry in the beginning of the comedy will be able to get them back…note that I said Nintendo, not Bubsy. Although to get the Avokhii back will be a challenge, as it is in Helryx’s quarters, I trust the Nintendo characters strongly with that as well. While my power is slowly returning, I still cannot gain control of NAW. Meta is still holding onto it…with a frail grip. But will we be too late? Meta needs to get out of his position, or, at the very least, scoot over so I can take control in some form. It is needed to destroy the impending evil. Please help. Tahu: Toa of Platinum “Well, that’s nice.” Tahu muttered. “I guess we should—oh wait, there’s another letter…” To the Council… As the owner of this comedy, I am well aware of the letter my doppelganger has sent to you. I write to you in the hope that you realize how wrong and inexperienced he is. I have led this comedy fairly well (certainly better than he has). I employed the old narrator immediately in his time of need, whereas TTP sent him into a dark realm that he had no control over. That was fairly stupid of him and I would never trash my employees like that. “Well…he is kinda right. He stood up for my comrades when they were being bullied,” Snake said. Listen to Snake. He’ll tell you everything. “…that is just downright creepy. Let’s just keep reading this.” With this, I can blame the rise of Ranox onto him because he exiled Narrator and thus influenced the poor chap to come back…and thus defeat the Great Being. Secondly, the power that I hold is meant for one person and one person only, as you held it as. TTP let no one else get in his way, and lead the comedy in a way that he calls smooth and a way I call mediocre. It depends on the way he runs it. His idea was broken up into groups, but I personally let my beings work to the best of their ability to help out around NAW. They get what they get, do what they do, and don’t get upset. I do agree, however, that Ranox is becoming a bigger threat. Because of TTP’s non-existing attempts to stop Ranox, he has grown more powerful each day. I am trying to work out a solution currently that I need your help with. I do also request that you save my friends from the Fortress; each Nintendo character plays an instrumental role (and two rescuers is enough, I wish to ensure the safety of my friends). I, however, have no intention to include him in the plan—I’m sure all of your power combined will be enough to defeat Ranox. Of course, all of the reasons above further support the fact that I am not holding a frail grip on NAW…I am only changing it to fit the needs of the people. As a prerequisite of my plan, I humbly ask you to seek out Keetongu as he will be able to cure Nuhrii of his…downsizing. I know he is on Spherus Magna…but I do have a bad feeling he is in danger. Thank you, Meta Nuva Tahu put the letter down, then glanced at the two letters. “…so now what do we do?” End of Prologue Edit: Fixed on 3/31/14.
The Anniversary Edition of Tahu
MetaStriker posted a topic in ComediesWell, a year and week (curse you, hackers) has passed since the start of my first comedy and the first entry in The Adventures of Tahu series...that, of course, being The Adventures of Tahu. Looking back on it, I realize that there were some continuity errors, the humor was pretty bad and the writing overall needed a refresh...so here we are. Thus, regarding the above, this remake is to be taken as CANON. And if you don't understand yet, think of it this way. The original Star Fox game was released on the SNES in 1993. In 1997, Star Fox 64 was released as a remake of the original game for the N64. That game is considered canon, so much so that most people don't even know there was a SF game in '93... Now that I'm done with my rant, let's start this again... The Anniversary Edition of Tahu: Transport Prologue: The Motives TEN YEARS AGO… The Toa swam, closer and closer to the hole in the ocean floor. The golden mask shined brightly in his grasp, knowing itself that its purpose was about to be fulfilled. The Toa himself swam further and further away from his team and the Barraki warlords, knowing that his purpose would soon be fulfilled…he’d no need to say goodbye… A blue hand punched through his thoughts and into his head, knocking the Toa away. The owner of the blue hand, a blue Toa of Water, gave Toa Mahri Matoro the death stare. Huh? What was that? Matoro pondered. Why is this Toa here…and why is she royally screwing up my destiny? The Toa of Water punched Matoro yet again, knocking the mask out of his hands. The gold mask fell into the hole, into a murky swamp, where it was undiscovered for another ten years. The Toa looked at Matoro again. “Perhaps that mask made it, but you will not.” She looked at her comlink. In the Cord… Axonn smiled as he looked at his mistress Helryx, who gave him the signal. “Well, what are you waiting for, Toa? Destroy this blasted cord!” The Toa Mahri did just that, watching Voya Nui fall straight down, crushing the remains of Mahri Nui. Axonn smiled slightly, then unsheathed his axe and smashed it into Jaller’s back, all with his battle cry. “HERE’S AXXIE!” Back on the Ocean Floor… Helryx cackled. “Five down, one to go. You see, Toa, no one messes with the Orderly Empire…even before it’s even begun.” FIVE YEARS AGO… “But…she told you not to go…are you disobeying the orders of the empress?” “I have to, Tahu. It’s been racing through my mind…they couldn’t have just disappeared without not doing their job.” “Gali, Pohatu and Onua disappeared to play Skyrim when they were supposed to be doing their job.” “I know, but…look, don’t worry about me. You know me well enough…or will I have to find a different—“ Tahu chuckled. “You won’t have to—I’m always here for you, Gali…I…I wish I could go—“ “It’d be too obvious. And I know you want to get out of here.” Gali sighed. “I’m sorry, Tahu, but I can’t bear to lose…wait, why don’t you talk to Helryx about that? Maybe, like, a trip to Zakaz or the Southern Continent—“ “You and I both know that’s not what I want, Gali. No, I want to see the world, or even other worlds than this. We could expand the empire, get more resources, meet new people—and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Gali blushed. “Neither would I, Tahu. However…that will have to wait until I get back. Save a ticket for me, will you?” Gali jumped out the window of the apartment, leaving Tahu alone. The two would not meet again for another five years. And in that time, Gali, Tahu’s best friend and “sweetheart” was presumed dead by almost everyone. Note that I said “almost”, not— Narrator, stop spoiling the story! Sorry, boss. Moving on, then… In the Present Day… Ten years had passed since Helryx founded the Orderly Empire. Ten years had passed since Mata Nui had died. Five years had passed since Gali left to search for the Mahri. Five years had passed since Tahu was last happy. He had enough. He wanted answers. Answers to why he couldn’t leave to find Gali. Answers to why Helryx had outlawed Nintendo consoles in the empire. Tahu wanted a way out. A way to find Gali. A way out…of the terror he was slowly realizing the empire to have. To Be Continued… This is an entirely new chapter to the series. Originally, Chapter 1 was the prologue and Chapter 1, but I kinda figured I’d explain the backstory this time: the rise of the Orderly Empire and Gali’s disappearance are two key factors for Tahu visiting Helryx in the first chapter. It’s too bad I only thought of this during Season 2 of TAoT. Also, the titles for each chapter will mostly be changed from the original, though there might be a few that stay the same. And yes, I will be doing reflections on each chapter, basically comparing it to the original.
The Life of Pridak
The Phantom Antidermis
MetaStriker posted a topic in ComediesWell here we are! This, folks, is a spoof of The Phantom Menace from Star Wars. After all, you can never make fun of the prequel series enough, can you? The Phantom Antidermis Chapter 1: Big Red Battleship In the Droid Control Ship… “I have a bad feeling about this,” I muttered. “What do you mean; you have a bad feeling about this? The meeting was great!” “I know, Master Lesovikk, but—“ “But what, Tahu? They served caviar and root beer with real sugar!” “Yes, they did. They’re feeding us our demise.” Shoot, I guess I haven’t introduced myself yet (although he kinda did). I’m Tahu, and I’m in the Toa Order, led by the Toa Council, who strictly told us not to go here. Of course, Lesovikk doesn’t get bad feelings about anything, and dragged me away from MNLOG to negotiate with Mutran. Did I mention that I had a bad feeling about this? *_*_*_* “Stop.” Lesovikk unsheathed his lightsaber, bumping its hilt into mine to stop me. “I sense something in the Nui…” “Maybe Mutran changed his mind and decided to attack—“ “Shhh,” Lesovikk clamped his hand over my mouth. “He’ll hear us.” “Oh, so now you’re paranoid,” I grumbled, moving his hand away and turning the corner. “Too late.” An army of Vahki stood ahead of us, fully armed with Kanoka Disks and if looks could kill, I’d be encased in more stone than Ganondorf from The Wind Waker. “For some reason, I still don’t have a bad feeling about this,” Lesovikk said, turning on his lightsaber. Too late, I thought. His heart’s already turned to stone. In the Republic Cruiser… “Man, I haven’t had better hospitality since before I signed up for the Republic,” Evo said, finishing his coffee. “I know, right?” Nex asked, shrugging. He wolfed down another slice of pizza, then leaned back and burped. “It’s the life.” “So you say.” Mutran watched from the window above, then pushed a red button. “Super Vahki, execute Order: Destroy the Big Red Battleship. And bring large fries with that.” He chuckled, then exited for Naboo. In a Transport Ship… “How…did you do that?” I was in shock, for Lesovikk had pushed the Vahki all back, blinded them, and had them overrun by Fikou spiders. “Wax on, wax off,” Lesovikk replied, as if that was his life. “At any rate, where is this thing going?” I inspected a control panel. “Dantooine.” Lesovikk walked over to me, took the panel away, and smashed it against the wall. He then looked at the cockpit, smirking. “Yeah, that just won’t do. I’ve got a better idea.” HYPERSPACE “This…was NOT my idea of flying!!!” To Be Continued… If you didn't get it, Lesovikk is Qui-Gon, Tahu is Obi-Wan, Mutran is Nute Gunray, and Evo and Nex...are Evo and Nex. The Vahki serve as Battle Droids. How was it? ~MN~
How to Escape the Wig Salon
MetaStriker posted a topic in ComediesAnd here we are: the third spinoff to TAoT (and hopefully this is more successful than the last two!!!).This comedy will last for 10-15 chapters, which should quench your thirs for TFC!Actually, the end of this comedy will be critical to TFC's storyline. So...you might want to read this, otherwise you won't understand TFC at all.Anyway.How to Escape the Wig SalonPrologue: QuestionsIn the Wig Salon… The Wig Salon is a dreadful place. Some, like Turaga Nuju, say that it is most relaxing. But others, like Black Hole, find it dreadful and want to escape. Take it from me, the one and only Narrator. Well, it used to be that way. After I annoyed my master ever-so much, he ordered me to the wig salon for eternity. But here’s the problem: the Wig Salon Retirement Home, or WSRH, is where dead people go. I’m not dead. I was simply ordered here for eternity. TN:TS didn’t stab me, or give me poisoned protodermis. He couldn’t, because all of us in, well, our company, are immortal. So how can I be here, then? And how can I get out?Chapter 1: Endings and BeginningsAt the Entrance to the WSRH… The portal opened up once again, to show the dead from Chapter 3.7 of TAoT file in. Tarix walked in, with a jagged line of black scratched across his chest plate. “Yeah, that’s how it happened,” Tarix said, showing Nuju how he’d died. “Hmmm,” Nuju thought. “Shadow bolt?” “Indeed,” Tarix answered. “It only hurt for a second, then it took me.” “I’m sorry,” Nuju answered. “But this is for the better. Welcome to the Wig Salon Retirement Home, where you can relax after death.” “Retirement home? I thought that this was a bad place!” “Wrong you are, young Glatorian. You’ll never need to worry about anything ever again.” “Good. Can I see Berix?” “Yes. Third door on your left,” Nuju said, pointing to the hallway. I watched as Tarix opened the door to Berix’s voice. It makes me wonder, how people can be so happy being dead. I guess, because, they’re dead, and I’m not. Not really, anyway. What makes this even worse, though, is that even if he wanted to, TN:TS couldn’t break me out. The same Great Being that created me, TN:TS, and the rest of our team, created this underworld. To get out, we’d have to overpower him. But can we? “Narrator, you can’t keep thinking about this,” Nuju said, interrupting my thoughts. “There’s no hope for any of us to get out of here while Ranox rules this world. We should just enjoy what we have now…“ But something popped into my head. We had defeated Ranox once before. Could we do it again? “There’s a chance,” I said, “isn’t there?” “Possibly,” Nuju said. “But we’d need an awful lot of help.”To Be Continued…How was it?~MN~
The Adventures of Tahu: How it All Began
MetaStriker posted a topic in ComediesMy inspiration for this comedy was during my CCC review of TAoT. The reviewer asked many questions, asking how this happened and that occurred...Well, I'm very happy to answer all of your questions about what happened before TAoT, which is why I created this prequel comedy to TAoT (I also made Ackar and the Hot Hand, which as crazy as it seems, is canon).Presenting The Adventures of Tahu: How it All Began (or TAoT: HAB for short): The Adventures of Tahu: How it All BeganPrologue: Intention In the beginning of the world, there was nothing... Yeah, I know. It sounds cliché, doesn’t it? Sorry, but I had to start this comedy with something. Oh, that’s right, I never introduced myself! I’m Transition Guy, the guy who writes all the titles, transitions, and stuff similar to that in my boss’ (Tahu Nuva: Toa of Silver’s) comedies at NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD.I basically look like a silver Onua Nuva. All the other members of the Toa Nuva work at NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD too, except they’re silver and more powerful versions of them:Censoring Sister (silver Gali Nuva) censors uncool (to say the least) words and information that is not supposed to be known (whether at that time or ever); Narrator (Lewa Nuva) narrates the comedies; the Po-Police (bronze versions of Pohatu Nuva except for the Chief, who is silver) take away people that are not doing their jobs (in work or in the comedy); and the Guards (Kopaka Nuva) protect TN:TS. Well, now that that’s over with, let’s go back to the story now. So, in the beginning of the world, there was nothing. No BIONICLE, no lamps, no pie, and certainly no comedies. That was before the Great Beings came to the world of Spherus Magna. They created multiple beings, beautiful lands, jungles, and such. But we know about that already, don’t we?That was millions of years ago, though…way before the true reason everything existed came along and made this and other comedies. His name was Toa Tahu Mata, who later turned into the great and powerful Tahu Nuva: Toa of Silver.But what happened before TAoT? How and why did Helryx take over the Matoran Universe? Why did Axonn go completely insane? Why did all the Toa take Helryx’s side at first? What happened on Bara Magna after Helryx’s big win? And how did TN:TS create a comedy and NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD, or ACRONYM WITHHELD for short? Here is TN:TS on the purpose of this comedy:“Well, to just put it in a PSA or a Special, would confuse the reader more than before. Plus, there is so much expansion that can be done on the subject, so we are putting it in a spin-off comedy.”In short, instead of answering all your questions in one spin-off-like chapter from TAoT, we are putting it in a prequel comedy that will still attach onto TAoT, but introduce new characters and stuff like that. We’re sure you’ll like it! Sincerely, TG and the Crew of NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD To Be Continued…Well, how was it? Post your thoughts below! Also, I have made a color chart for this, I will post it when (or if ) someone replies back!~TN:TS~