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Tahu vs. Tahu: Vultraz’s DinerThe Revenge of VultrazChapter 1 – One Year iBrow Comedy ProductionsThe Bedroom: The Matoran Vultraz was depressed. This came from lack of a real job, to put it bluntly; his one real hit had faded away with the surge of a civil war a year ago, and now he was gone for good.Dust in the wind.Since then, he’d taken to roaming the halls of the house in a cloud of assorted emotions; anger, despair, depression, and so on. However, it was during a tantrum in the closet, raging at the vacuum, that he realized something:Power could be his again. After all, what was mightier than the Plastic Spoon? There did seem to be a lack of any in the house (for obvious reasons; who would have dozens of the most powerful weapon of the universe in their home?) but he was sure he knew where to find one. The question was- how?“JALLER! METUS!” he bellowed.A few seconds later a Ta-Matoran on a Gukko bird could be seen speeding down towards him like a bullet, drilling through the air. Vultraz screamed and ran in the opposite direction, colliding with the approaching Metus painfully.“Ouch.” Metus muttered, somewhat unnecessarily. “That hurt.”Jaller landed the Gukko smoothly, glancing over at them.“What are you guys doing?” he questioned. “Also, there’s an arena match going on in the Kitchen. Tarix and Strakk versus Thok and Vezok- I’m missing it right now.”“Those arena matches are dumb.” Vultraz muttered, standing to his feet with the help of Metus’ head. “Everything about this comedy is dumb.”“I find Tahu vs. Tahu to be an enjoyable experience, myself.” Jaller replied. “You would.” Metus snorted, dusting himself off. “You got a free ride out of it. We got nothing.”“Nobody else got anything.” Vultraz responded. “Well, I guess Takua got a crab to ride, but he kinda lost any sanity remaining in the process... wait a minute.”“Vezon?” Metus guessed, nodding. “I understand. Even he got something- brains, two of him, and two ferocious beasts under his control.”“Precisely.” Vultraz agreed. “This place isn’t for us. In Vultraz’s Diner, I could fight ALMIGHTY one on one and nearly win. Here, he’d blow me apart.”Jaller sighed from above.“What do you want me to do about it?” he asked.“You’re giving us a ride to the cupboard under the stairs.” Vultraz told him. “We’re going to find my Plastic Spoon.”Jaller rolled his eyes.“You can’t honestly believe it’s here.” He complained. “You made us search for a week before.”“I have a feeling this time.” Vultraz retorted, climbing onto the Gukko with Metus right behind. “I know it’s there.”“Very well.” Jaller sighed, pulling up from the ground. “Let’s try and make this quick. I don’t want anybody to notice that we’re gone.”Meanwhile, the Kitchen....“And with the surrender of Vezok, Strakk and Tarix take the win!” Avak boomed from his special booth. “What a fight that was, eh Meltdown?”“Yes, a fight to remember for sure.” Meltdown agreed from beside him. “Everyone thought Strakk and Tarix were lost when the Piraka managed to blind them with their eyebeams- it was some very exceptional defensive work.”“Anyway,” Avak began, “Our next combatants are none other than Tahu Mata and Tahu Stars themselves, in the final battle of this Tournament celebration for one year of Tahu vs. Tahu!”“And what a year it’s been!” Meltdown replied. “A civil war, tournaments, time travelling, six month forum downtime ARGH I HATE THAT, invasion, and more! Let’s hope this next year is just as exciting!”“And now, the fight you’ve all been waiting for!” Avak announced. “OUR FINAL TWO FIGHTERS- GIVE YOUR APPLAUSE TO TAHU MATA AND TAHU STARS!!”Down in the Arena:“So, how’s everything going?” Tahu Stars asked casually as he and Tahu Mata shook hands.“Things are going pretty good.” Tahu Mata replied as they did the customary bro-hug. “Planning a big party for the next few days; it’s gonna be busy.”Tahu Stars cringed. “You’re not still planning to have me in the chocolate dunk tank, are you?”“Of course I am!” Tahu Mata grinned. “People are gonna love it!”“I’m not.” Tahu Stars frowned, backing away and pulling his sword out. “Just for that, I’m gonna do my best to beat you- and you’ll notice I’m wearing my lucky gold armour today.”Tahu Mata sighed, tossing away his red mask and placing on his own gold mask.“Still not as good as me.” Tahu Stars told him. “You actually look kinda ridiculous, but whatever. Let’s start this thing.”“Please, let’s.”The two Tahu sets charged at each other, their swords clanging together somehow. The crowd immediately began to grow wild, cheering for one or the other (some began cheering for both, but then they got eaten and everything was good again).“Looks like a fairly traditional fight so far.” Avak observed. “And somehow, that just feels right. It even relaxes my back!”“Uh, no.” Piruk muttered from behind him. “That’s me. You ordered me to give you a backrub 24/7 or you’d kill me.”“Ah, right.” Avak nodded. “Right. Continue on!”Meanwhile, in the Cupboard Under the Stairs....“Stupid comedy is celebrating being one year old.” Vultraz snorted. “We didn’t celebrate being one year old.”“Celebrating being a year old is for losers.” Metus commented, before noticing the scared looks on the faces of Vultraz and Jaller. “What?”“Trust me Metus.” Vultraz began, shaking his head. “ALMIGHTY can be terrifying, but when you insult iBrow and his practices, you’re tempting something far, far, far, far, FAR worse than ALMIGHTY.”“...you’re kidding, right?”“No.”“Yes you are.”“No.”“Yes.”“No.”“Y-” Metus stopped himself. “Never mind. iBrow, I repent! Forgive me of my trespasses, and forgive those who have- you know what, screw this. iBrow, you suck.”Jaller sucked in a deep breath. Vultraz cowered behind a cobweb that actually hid him pretty well. Until nothing happened, and Metus shrugged.“Guess we’re more lucky than you guys remember.” He said.“No. Trust me, no.” Vultraz shook his head. “We’re gonna pay for this. We’re gonna pay for this... hey! There it is!”Lunging forward, he grabbed the plastic spoon.“Wicked!” he grinned. “I feel so AWESOME right now.”“I feel better.” Jaller announced. “More full.”“I feel like I just drank a whole jug of Eggnog.” Metus sighed. “It feels wonderful....”“Chirp!” the Gukko chirped. “I feel SERIOUSLY COOL now!”“It can talk?” Vultraz asked.“You can talk?!” Jaller exclaimed.“I can talk?!?!” the Gukko cried. “SWEETNESS ITSELF, BRO!”Vultraz muttered something under his breath.“Alright.” He told them. “Let’s go to the Kitchen. It’s time to announce my return.”Back in the Kitchen:Tahu Mata panted a little as he lunged after Tahu Stars, who retreated a couple steps before shoving off of the arena wall and rushing towards him, smacking him in the side with his shield.“Argh....” Tahu Mata groaned.“You... feeling... it... dude?” Tahu Stars attempted to taunt while in between gasps. “Man... I do not... want to know... what... our... final battle... is gonna be like....”“Feel... so... fat....” Tahu Mata whined, staggering towards his opponent and poking him in the eye, causing Tahu Stars to squeal in pain. “So... tired....”Tahu Stars stumbled backwards and landed on his butt; however, he continued to blindly swing his sword around, eventually catching Tahu Mata by the ankles and causing him to land sitting down too.“How... about... a rest?” Tahu Stars asked. “Just... ten... seconds.”“You... got... a deal.” Tahu Mata gasped.They didn’t have ten seconds; suddenly, Avak, Piruk, and Meltdown flew down from their booth and into the stands, squishing several sets beneath them. A new voice now spoke, using the microphone to project his voice to all gathered.“You all know me.” The voice said to them all. “But you also fail to know me. I am Vultraz. Your comedy replaced mine one year ago. Today, I am here to tell you that I have gotten my power back. And with my power, I tell you that this comedy now belongs to me. Welcome to Vultraz’s Diner.”Both the Tahu sets glanced over at each other, Tahu Stars through the eye that wasn’t the size of a grapefruit.“This is bad.” Tahu Mata commented.“Tell me about it.” Tahu Stars groaned. “My eye is bigger than the rest of my body. How am I supposed to get up?”“No, I meant about the fact that a puny little Matoran just took over our comedy and made it completely different.” Tahu Mata responded.“Oh.”Tahu Stars fell silent for a moment.“Well, that doesn’t make me feel dumb at all.” He continued. “[/sarcasm].”To Be Continued.... Your thoughts be?-ibrow
