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Bionicle news at 6:00 Solek: Release the hounds? Wow, Frezon is the worst writer ever. Who even uses that horrible quote anyway? Shadow leech (SL): You fool! Release the hounds! (A swarm of wiener dogs attack Solek, yipping hysterically) Announcer (AN): Really? You’re trying to kill Solek already? It’s the first chapter and there hasn’t even been any character development yet. How can you possibly know what your former character was like? Cameraman (CM): How did Solek know to be rude? Ehlek: Touché. Carapar: Ehlek, don’t use foreign languages. They hurt my head. And when my head hurts I tend to hurt the heads of others. Producer (PR): But seriously, who the heck told our characters what their former versions were like? Weapon: I blame my lawyer. It’s easier that way. Lawyer: who blamed me? I’ll sue you!!11!1! Kirop: Huh?!?!? What was up with the exclamation points? Carapar: Up? Okay, you can go up! (Smacks Kirop into the roof of the dome, he is annihilated by the hovering Eldrazi titans) SL: I sense the continuation of a disturbing trend. Solek: What, Kirop dying? No one cared in the beginning and no one will care now. PR: Wait a moment, where are those two guest stars? * El flashbacko, Inception music playing* Hammox: OH MY GOD< WE”RE GOING TO DIE!! (Pit of lava opens under them) Osram: WHY GOD WHY???? *End el flashbacko* AN: Seriously? Frezon is nearly fluent in Spanish, and he continues to butcher it? What is wrong with him? Frezon: many, many things. SL: I have more. Things wrong with me, that is. (Kirop hits ground, makes impact crater) Ehlek: Hey, we have 400 words. That’s enough, right? Solek: No, you brain dead fool. The word processor is counting Frezon’s carp intro in its calculations. Honestly, don’t you ever break the fourth wall? Carapar: hey, isn’t this Bionicle NEWS? CM: Way to get us back on topic, crab boy. (Laser emitted from Carapar’s jaws, CM steaming) owie. PR: Seriously, we should tell some sort of news. Ehlek: sure. This is the first day of the last day. Yes, it’s true, it’s December 21, 2012. Let’s turn to our sports guy to see how things are going. Carapar: Silly Ehlek, I annihilated Brutaka last comedy. Also, Trix are for kids. AN: Please shoot me. Or at least end this chapter. Weapon: Your wish is my command. Click click boom! -Commercial break- Was AN just shot? Will Carapar have ultimate power? Will I ever break out of this stupid mold of asking three questions at the end of each of my chapters? Find out next time on…. BIONICLE NEWS! !!!! Yeah, random, whatever. Stay tuned for better content.
