You're attacked by a Repair Nektann

Bfahome 2012.

Even better: do the moonwalk and then the robot just after you've been sworn in as president instead of a speach.

Give your entire innagural address in rhyming couplets.

Give your entire inaugural address in rhyming couplets.

 

And end with a famous line from either Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who or Shakespeare.

I would totally not give an inaugural address, just to be contrary. Then the next day I would announce that I would not run for reelection so that I could focus purely on my work.

 

The milk thing, b the way, is pretty stupid. I see no reason for law to intervene, but it's stupid regardless, because my father is convinced that whole milk is the only healthy milk, even though at my siblings' age they'd be better off with skim. Then he gets whole milk of a different brand than Land'O'Lakes that also has a pink cap, which ticks off my sister, and to some extent, me (although I no longer live with him, but I still sleep over for the weekends). Part of the stupidity is my sister's fault, who rants to him about the milk he gets, but never bothers being specific, and instead of requesting that he gets 0% Fat Milk or actually going shopping with him, she lazily says she wants the pink kind while she lays at home and becomes a Siamese twin with the couch as she plays on the computer literally 24/7.

 

Oh, and by the way, if I was elected Governor of Iowa by a crazy margin, such as 93%, I would totally use that popularity to change the state anthem from the tune of "O Christmas Tree" to "The Raider's March".

 

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Et tu, Bfa?