This is my lawn

Just do what I do and don't wear a shirt.

Just do what I do and don't wear a shirt.

brilliant

That may work for people who are actually thin, but if people saw my flab they would run for five city blocks and demand brain bleach.

Always wear something colourful for Thanksgiving.  That way if you spill food on yourself, there's a chance it might blend into the design.

Or just wear your sleepwear all day like I do, helps for passing out after eating much easier and comfortable.