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M.o.d.s.


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8 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Rarity

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Posted Dec 03 2011 - 03:48 AM

M.O.D.S.MODS is written on location with the men and women of the BZP Moderator force. All suspects are innocent intill Black Six says they're guilty, in a court of oneJack: Welcome to Mods. The show where I host a game, right here in my c-John: DANGIT JACK! That's the wrong show!Jack: Oh.. which one is this?Bob: Where we(The BZP Moderator force) catch criminals... BZP criminals!Jack:... I quit2A.M. Comedies section:Bob: We got a report of a guy spamming over here. He must figure since it's late at night, no one will catch him. Well he's wrong! We patrol this late, just to catch people like him!John: I thought it was because we lost a bet.Bob: No one asked you*Car stops and Bob and John step out, confronting the alleged spammer*Bob: heya buddy, we hear you're spamming up the comedies.Nubhub01: Nu uh. I dun spam.John: Can you speak in a clear voice for us?Nubhub01: Of curse I kin...John: Uhuh... Well we're going to have to take you in for que- *Gets pushed over*Bob: Oh no he's making a break for CoT!John: We'll never catch him there!Bob: I'll hit him with my proto zapper! ON YOUR KNEES DIRTBAG! *Fires proto zapper*Nubhub01:*Falls over* Oh no! Now I'm at minus 1!Bob: Um... should we edit this out?John: Nah... it's not like they're gonna say we use proto zappers to freely!4:15 A.M. Comedy section:Bob: Well it's 4:15, and we got another call about an inapropriate comedy floating aroundJohn: Yeah, but it looks like B6 got here before us *points at giant 'inapropriate contest removed' sign on a house*Bob: Musta been big for him to come here himselfJohn: Yeah... Wonder what it was*Inside the house*Random member on stage: Then I said: "Don't bypass the word filter - B6Crowd: *laughs**Back in the car*Bob: Think it was just a front, for a place, just to make jokes about Black Six?John: Nahhh, coudn't be.5:00 A.M. Comedy section:John: Well our shift is almost over, and we have one last callBob: Yeah, it's one of our snitches, he keeps saying that there's a bad comedy floating around.John: Yes. And we haven't found it, just that house with the sign on it, so we're gonna teach him not to send false reports.Bob: Yeah.*They get out of car*Bob: Hey there kissup29, how ya doin?Kissup29: I'm good. I found some leet in someone's post, wanna see?John: No...Kissup29: Hey... WHAT ARE YOU DOIN- OUCH! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?Bob: To a place worse than comedies...John: To... umm... we don't have a place worse than comedies, so were just taking you on a tourKissup29: Noooooo
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#2 Offline Makuta of Comedy

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Posted Dec 03 2011 - 04:57 PM

I liked how you changed the taser into a proto zapper, it was a good idea.Besides the few misspellings, I think it will be a good comedy.
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If only you had known what horrible retribution your comment would rain down upon you.


#3 Offline Rarity

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Posted Dec 10 2011 - 01:58 AM

Thanks! xDI'm also gonna be taking GS's, PGS, and whatnot.SO ASK TO JOIN, PEOPLE!Also, I will probably have a new chapter up this weekend.
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#4 Offline Lord Kini Hawkeye

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Posted Dec 15 2011 - 06:05 PM

It's good Comedy :oFrom Shad, no less.And in the comedies...Every Law of BZP just got broken...Well it would appear Shad's about to be hunted by the M.O.D.S:P
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The worlds have now learned

Of the worst yet to come

On the brink of an end, a Boy learns to crawl

{/BZPRPG Profiles\}  :.: {/COMIC: Eljay: The Becoming\} :.: {/EPIC: Danger Close\} :.: {/EPIC: Wings\}

[There is Invisible Text here]
Cause I can't find a banner ;_;

{/Seven Lives, Two Faces\}

Don't pass up this chance, oh go tear down the walls

No gods will watching, no one cares enough at all

These worlds need now an ending, as they did at the start

But I'll keep on pretending, I won't

Go...


#5 Offline Zahaki

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Posted Dec 15 2011 - 06:23 PM

I don’t usually read comedy, just because I find most people try to hard...Yet I confess that this was a good read, it was funny to see the spammer talking how one would spam xpThe B6 joke in there was funny; I noticed a few people do that know... I wounder how long until he notices it XDGood work, and you might see me reading more of this!Posted Image
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Signature Under-construction.


#6 Offline Rarity

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Posted Mar 29 2012 - 12:06 AM

M.O.D.S.MODS is written on location with the men and women of the BZP Moderator force. All suspects are innocent intill Black Six says they're guilty, in a court of oneCOMEDIES SECTION: 4:09amJohn: Tonight we're just patrolling the comedies, looking for any disturbances.Bob: nothing's been reported tonight.John: Yep.Bob: Yeeeep.John: It's been a slow night.General Discussion: 12:05PMForum Mentor Nuirahks: Today I'm on patrol here in GD. I find my job more rewarding than being an actual moderator, because I get to help, and see members grow.Camera man: Have you ever been offered a position on the moderator force?Forum Mentor Nuirahks:...the server ate the message.BZP noob #231: Kopaka is best toa!Toa generic name and a bunch of numbers: I disagree!BZP noob #231: You have no facts that he isn't! BECAUSE HE IS!Toa Generic name and bunch of numbers: There are no facts in opinion!BZP noob #231: YOUR OPINION IS OFFENSIVE!!Toa generic name and bunch of numbers: I didn't say anything offensive! I JUST DISAGREED WITH YOU!Forum Mentor Nuirahks: Quit trying to start a flame war Toa with generic name and bunch of numbers!Toa generic name and a bunch of numbers: I'm not flaming, you rent a moderator!Forum Mentor Nuirahks: Uh oh, flame war, and offensive members... *pulls out lego walkie talkie* THIS IS FORUM MENTOR NUIRAHKS REQUESTING IMMEDIATE BACKUP IN GD!Admin #3: Alright, we are sending a team of moderators, equipped with riot gear, toward your location, hang tight.MEANWHILE A FEW TOPICS OVER...BZPer #1031: ROBOTS HAVE RIGHTS TOO!BZPer #2039: NEVER! *shoots member*BZPer #4987: MODS, WHY HATH THOU FORSAKEN US!!Back in best Toa topic...*Four moderators arrive*Moderator Toa4ever: *Pulls out proto zapper* EVERYONE! HANDS UP!BZPer #9016: I wonder what's in this topic!Moderator Toa4ever: *shoots BZPer* I SAID HANDS UP!BZPer #9016: Ouch! What did I do!Moderator Toa4ever: YOU CONTRIBUTED TO THIS MESS!BZPer #9016: No I didn't!Moderator Toa4ever: Arguing with a moderator? Well, I'll let the admins know to look out for you, you troll!BZPer: #9016:...I'm leaving.Moderator Nancy is a Toa: Who started the flame war!Forum Mentor Nuirahks: Well, It was BZPer #2-Moderator Toa4ever: NEVERMIND THAT! SHOOT EM ALL, AND LET BLACK SIX SORT EM OUT LATER!Moderator Nancy is a Toa: We can't shoot all of them, it'll look suspicious. Just shoot a few of 'em, with less than stellar records, and it'll look like we sorted this out.Camera man:...I'm still here you know.Moderator Pohata#111: Turn that off!ENDYeah, I know it wasn't that good, but it's all I had. :/
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#7 Offline fishers64

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Posted Mar 30 2012 - 08:04 AM

CCC Review: Corrections to spelling and grammar are in green. Chapter 1:

Jack: Welcome to Mods. The show where I host a game, right here in my c-John: DANGIT JACK! That's the wrong show!Jack: Oh.. which one is this?Bob: Where we (The BZP Moderator force) catch criminals... BZP criminals!Jack:... I quit(.)

I seem to be missing the allusion here...possibly to some reality TV Show, I'm guessing? Or a cop show?

4:15 A.M. Comedy section:Bob: Well it's 4:15, and we got another call about an inapropriate comedy floating aroundJohn: Yeah, but it looks like B6 got here before us *points at giant 'inappropriate contest comedy removed' sign on a house*Bob: Musta been big for him to come here himself(.)John: Yeah... Wonder what it was(.)*Inside the house*Random member on stage: Then I said: "Don't bypass the word filter - B6(")Crowd: *laughs*

Bob: Think it was just a front, for a place, just to make jokes about Black Six?John: Nahhh, cou(l)dn't be.

John: To... umm... we don't have a place worse than comedies, so we(')re just taking you on a tour(.)

Chapter 2:

Bob:(N)othing's been reported tonight.

I'm getting that you are trying to go for gangsta/ inner city police slang, but don't overdo it.Now that I'm done being Picky Punctuation Police, I do like this comedy. It has some hilarious one-liners, and the names fit with the characters involved. But that's it. It's short. There isn't a lot of plot, and the characters slide in and out quickly - except for Bob and Co.One thing I would like to see in the future is Black Six holding court - you seem to have given the impression that he does from your first line. Also, you might consider expanding out into other forums on here - the Comics forum, in particular, might be a chapter (hint: the mods are evil down there and their favorite weapon is the delete key).Overall, I'm going to give this a 6/10 for now. This comedy is rather shallow, and punctuation errors abound - the author has some great one liners, but that's all I can see. It would probably be better if I got the allusion on the front to TV...

Edited by fishers64, Mar 30 2012 - 08:06 AM.

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#8 Offline Rarity

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Posted Mar 30 2012 - 11:51 AM

Wow. To be honest, I didn't even notice some of those typos. D=And it's supposed to be based off of COPS.
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#9 Offline Lord Kini Hawkeye

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Posted Apr 08 2012 - 05:54 PM

Shadomedy Chapter 2...Hmmm.....Well it's better than everything else I see you write ;PPretty good, you must post up chapter 3... right after this post.Cause it's why I'm posting.Cause i'm cool.And this is a professional review.
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The worlds have now learned

Of the worst yet to come

On the brink of an end, a Boy learns to crawl

{/BZPRPG Profiles\}  :.: {/COMIC: Eljay: The Becoming\} :.: {/EPIC: Danger Close\} :.: {/EPIC: Wings\}

[There is Invisible Text here]
Cause I can't find a banner ;_;

{/Seven Lives, Two Faces\}

Don't pass up this chance, oh go tear down the walls

No gods will watching, no one cares enough at all

These worlds need now an ending, as they did at the start

But I'll keep on pretending, I won't

Go...





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