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M.o.d.s.


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8 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Rarity

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Posted Dec 03 2011 - 03:48 AM

M.O.D.S.MODS is written on location with the men and women of the BZP Moderator force. All suspects are innocent intill Black Six says they're guilty, in a court of oneJack: Welcome to Mods. The show where I host a game, right here in my c-John: DANGIT JACK! That's the wrong show!Jack: Oh.. which one is this?Bob: Where we(The BZP Moderator force) catch criminals... BZP criminals!Jack:... I quit2A.M. Comedies section:Bob: We got a report of a guy spamming over here. He must figure since it's late at night, no one will catch him. Well he's wrong! We patrol this late, just to catch people like him!John: I thought it was because we lost a bet.Bob: No one asked you*Car stops and Bob and John step out, confronting the alleged spammer*Bob: heya buddy, we hear you're spamming up the comedies.Nubhub01: Nu uh. I dun spam.John: Can you speak in a clear voice for us?Nubhub01: Of curse I kin...John: Uhuh... Well we're going to have to take you in for que- *Gets pushed over*Bob: Oh no he's making a break for CoT!John: We'll never catch him there!Bob: I'll hit him with my proto zapper! ON YOUR KNEES DIRTBAG! *Fires proto zapper*Nubhub01:*Falls over* Oh no! Now I'm at minus 1!Bob: Um... should we edit this out?John: Nah... it's not like they're gonna say we use proto zappers to freely!4:15 A.M. Comedy section:Bob: Well it's 4:15, and we got another call about an inapropriate comedy floating aroundJohn: Yeah, but it looks like B6 got here before us *points at giant 'inapropriate contest removed' sign on a house*Bob: Musta been big for him to come here himselfJohn: Yeah... Wonder what it was*Inside the house*Random member on stage: Then I said: "Don't bypass the word filter - B6Crowd: *laughs**Back in the car*Bob: Think it was just a front, for a place, just to make jokes about Black Six?John: Nahhh, coudn't be.5:00 A.M. Comedy section:John: Well our shift is almost over, and we have one last callBob: Yeah, it's one of our snitches, he keeps saying that there's a bad comedy floating around.John: Yes. And we haven't found it, just that house with the sign on it, so we're gonna teach him not to send false reports.Bob: Yeah.*They get out of car*Bob: Hey there kissup29, how ya doin?Kissup29: I'm good. I found some leet in someone's post, wanna see?John: No...Kissup29: Hey... WHAT ARE YOU DOIN- OUCH! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?Bob: To a place worse than comedies...John: To... umm... we don't have a place worse than comedies, so were just taking you on a tourKissup29: Noooooo
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#2 Offline Makuta of Comedy

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Posted Dec 03 2011 - 04:57 PM

I liked how you changed the taser into a proto zapper, it was a good idea.Besides the few misspellings, I think it will be a good comedy.
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If only you had known what horrible retribution your comment would rain down upon you.


#3 Offline Rarity

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Posted Dec 10 2011 - 01:58 AM

Thanks! xDI'm also gonna be taking GS's, PGS, and whatnot.SO ASK TO JOIN, PEOPLE!Also, I will probably have a new chapter up this weekend.
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#4 Offline Lord Kini Hawkeye

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Posted Dec 15 2011 - 06:05 PM

It's good Comedy :oFrom Shad, no less.And in the comedies...Every Law of BZP just got broken...Well it would appear Shad's about to be hunted by the M.O.D.S:P
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I've been searchin' for the daughter of the Devil Himself,

​I've been searchin' for an Angel in White,

​I've been lookin for a woman who's a little of both,

​and I can sense her but she's nowhere in sight,
Cause I can't find a banner ;_;

 

 


#5 Offline Zahaki

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Posted Dec 15 2011 - 06:23 PM

I don’t usually read comedy, just because I find most people try to hard...Yet I confess that this was a good read, it was funny to see the spammer talking how one would spam xpThe B6 joke in there was funny; I noticed a few people do that know... I wounder how long until he notices it XDGood work, and you might see me reading more of this!Posted Image
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Signature Under-construction.


#6 Offline Rarity

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Posted Mar 29 2012 - 12:06 AM

M.O.D.S.MODS is written on location with the men and women of the BZP Moderator force. All suspects are innocent intill Black Six says they're guilty, in a court of oneCOMEDIES SECTION: 4:09amJohn: Tonight we're just patrolling the comedies, looking for any disturbances.Bob: nothing's been reported tonight.John: Yep.Bob: Yeeeep.John: It's been a slow night.General Discussion: 12:05PMForum Mentor Nuirahks: Today I'm on patrol here in GD. I find my job more rewarding than being an actual moderator, because I get to help, and see members grow.Camera man: Have you ever been offered a position on the moderator force?Forum Mentor Nuirahks:...the server ate the message.BZP noob #231: Kopaka is best toa!Toa generic name and a bunch of numbers: I disagree!BZP noob #231: You have no facts that he isn't! BECAUSE HE IS!Toa Generic name and bunch of numbers: There are no facts in opinion!BZP noob #231: YOUR OPINION IS OFFENSIVE!!Toa generic name and bunch of numbers: I didn't say anything offensive! I JUST DISAGREED WITH YOU!Forum Mentor Nuirahks: Quit trying to start a flame war Toa with generic name and bunch of numbers!Toa generic name and a bunch of numbers: I'm not flaming, you rent a moderator!Forum Mentor Nuirahks: Uh oh, flame war, and offensive members... *pulls out lego walkie talkie* THIS IS FORUM MENTOR NUIRAHKS REQUESTING IMMEDIATE BACKUP IN GD!Admin #3: Alright, we are sending a team of moderators, equipped with riot gear, toward your location, hang tight.MEANWHILE A FEW TOPICS OVER...BZPer #1031: ROBOTS HAVE RIGHTS TOO!BZPer #2039: NEVER! *shoots member*BZPer #4987: MODS, WHY HATH THOU FORSAKEN US!!Back in best Toa topic...*Four moderators arrive*Moderator Toa4ever: *Pulls out proto zapper* EVERYONE! HANDS UP!BZPer #9016: I wonder what's in this topic!Moderator Toa4ever: *shoots BZPer* I SAID HANDS UP!BZPer #9016: Ouch! What did I do!Moderator Toa4ever: YOU CONTRIBUTED TO THIS MESS!BZPer #9016: No I didn't!Moderator Toa4ever: Arguing with a moderator? Well, I'll let the admins know to look out for you, you troll!BZPer: #9016:...I'm leaving.Moderator Nancy is a Toa: Who started the flame war!Forum Mentor Nuirahks: Well, It was BZPer #2-Moderator Toa4ever: NEVERMIND THAT! SHOOT EM ALL, AND LET BLACK SIX SORT EM OUT LATER!Moderator Nancy is a Toa: We can't shoot all of them, it'll look suspicious. Just shoot a few of 'em, with less than stellar records, and it'll look like we sorted this out.Camera man:...I'm still here you know.Moderator Pohata#111: Turn that off!ENDYeah, I know it wasn't that good, but it's all I had. :/
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#7 Offline fishers64

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Posted Mar 30 2012 - 08:04 AM

CCC Review: Corrections to spelling and grammar are in green. Chapter 1:

Jack: Welcome to Mods. The show where I host a game, right here in my c-John: DANGIT JACK! That's the wrong show!Jack: Oh.. which one is this?Bob: Where we (The BZP Moderator force) catch criminals... BZP criminals!Jack:... I quit(.)

I seem to be missing the allusion here...possibly to some reality TV Show, I'm guessing? Or a cop show?

4:15 A.M. Comedy section:Bob: Well it's 4:15, and we got another call about an inapropriate comedy floating aroundJohn: Yeah, but it looks like B6 got here before us *points at giant 'inappropriate contest comedy removed' sign on a house*Bob: Musta been big for him to come here himself(.)John: Yeah... Wonder what it was(.)*Inside the house*Random member on stage: Then I said: "Don't bypass the word filter - B6(")Crowd: *laughs*

Bob: Think it was just a front, for a place, just to make jokes about Black Six?John: Nahhh, cou(l)dn't be.

John: To... umm... we don't have a place worse than comedies, so we(')re just taking you on a tour(.)

Chapter 2:

Bob:(N)othing's been reported tonight.

I'm getting that you are trying to go for gangsta/ inner city police slang, but don't overdo it.Now that I'm done being Picky Punctuation Police, I do like this comedy. It has some hilarious one-liners, and the names fit with the characters involved. But that's it. It's short. There isn't a lot of plot, and the characters slide in and out quickly - except for Bob and Co.One thing I would like to see in the future is Black Six holding court - you seem to have given the impression that he does from your first line. Also, you might consider expanding out into other forums on here - the Comics forum, in particular, might be a chapter (hint: the mods are evil down there and their favorite weapon is the delete key).Overall, I'm going to give this a 6/10 for now. This comedy is rather shallow, and punctuation errors abound - the author has some great one liners, but that's all I can see. It would probably be better if I got the allusion on the front to TV...

Edited by fishers64, Mar 30 2012 - 08:06 AM.

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#8 Offline Rarity

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Posted Mar 30 2012 - 11:51 AM

Wow. To be honest, I didn't even notice some of those typos. D=And it's supposed to be based off of COPS.
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#9 Offline Lord Kini Hawkeye

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Posted Apr 08 2012 - 05:54 PM

Shadomedy Chapter 2...Hmmm.....Well it's better than everything else I see you write ;PPretty good, you must post up chapter 3... right after this post.Cause it's why I'm posting.Cause i'm cool.And this is a professional review.
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I've been searchin' for the daughter of the Devil Himself,

​I've been searchin' for an Angel in White,

​I've been lookin for a woman who's a little of both,

​and I can sense her but she's nowhere in sight,
Cause I can't find a banner ;_;

 

 





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