Edited by Shadow Guardian, Feb 06 2012 - 09:27 AM.
Posted Feb 04 2012 - 10:41 PM
Posted Feb 05 2012 - 01:32 PM
I think you meant to say 'stared'.
He stated at the Olmak which sat behind glass across from him.
Should be 'hand'.Anyway, this is a good story and I enjoyed it.
His held clutched Tridax's own acid-tipped staff.
Everyone is one choice away from being a bad guy in someone else's story.
Posted Feb 06 2012 - 11:19 PM
Posted Mar 10 2012 - 11:54 AM
That should be were. Pretty much the only error I found that someone else hadn't pointed out.All in all, kudos for fleshing out an underloved character in a creative, interesting way.-Teezy
They'd shoved him in a place so pathetic its inhabitants we're referred to as "ghosts."
the world is full of horrors. you can fight them, or laugh at them, or look without seeing. go away inside.
"...And that's why you always leave a note."
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