Jump to content

Bzpstuck - The Comic


InnerRayg

Recommended Posts

[Hannah]: PANIC!

]1080.gif

HOLY SWEET POTATO!

[Hannah]: Catch breath

1081.gif

Law' t'underin' jesus. Your heart is racin! Man, maybe you should lay off the sodium a little. Just gotta catch your breath. Phew!Thank goodness you're both safe.

[Hannah]: Make sure Pommes is safe.

1082.gif

Pommes?

[Hannah]: Search for Pommes

1083.gif

Suddenly, you hear a series of sharp barks from your new backdoor.

[Hannah]::::

1084.gif

Stones rain down outside as the mesa above you crumbles. Pommes must be nuts! He's gonna get flattened like a latke out there.

[Hannah]: Save your dog!

1085.gif

Your poor dog! You call out to him. Desperation sets in...but how can you save him when it's so dangerous to go out? Metric tons of rock crash down from above, missing him by inches.But you can't save him.You're too afraid.

[Hannah]: Hurry!

1086.gif

[Hannah]::::!

1087.gif

[Hannah]::::

1088.gif

[Hannah]::::

1089.gif

POOOOMMMMMEESSSS!

[Hannah]::::

1090.gif

[Hannah]::::

1091.gif

[Hannah]::::

1092.gif

[Hannah]::::

1093.gif

[Hannah]::::

1094.gif

[Hannah]::::

1095.gif

Pommes suddenly finds himself as your steed.Yeehaw! You scurry on back to the relative safety of your house. The one that crumbled like cardboard just a minute ago.Phew!

[Hannah]::::

1096.gif

You return and take all the necessary precautions one would expect when one's life is being threatened by thousands of tons of rock hurtling from the sky. You decide now would be a really good time to get on the internet and check on everyone, and you're absolutely right to do so. You're as safe as a freshly sliced potato sitting innocently next to a warmed up frier. No way you're gonna be in the hot oil anytime soon, no sir!Oh look, Andrew's messaging you.

 

GG: Ah, Here she comesGG: Troubles are risingMM: andrewMM: i'm squatting in a bathtubGG: Oh no love!GG: I know you're scared, but we're togetherGG: not aloneMM: why are you talking like thatMM: i told you to stop that MM: erMM: cut that... jibGG: It's a god awful small affairGG: but your friend is nowhere to be seenGG: This isn't Mister Arthur talking to the girl with the mousy hairMM: uh?MM: what are you flapping your silver tongue aboutGG: Helping you find stars that look very differentMM: Who is this???GG: Love, look to the screen. I'm a different man. GG: You see it's the freakiest showGG: and I'm floating in a most peculiar way

 

[Hannah]: Look at screen1097.gif

MM: oh

[Hannah]: !!!!1098.gif

MM: my

[Hannah]: !!!!!!1099.gif

MM: bowie

[Hannah]: Fall in love with Bowiesprite1100.gifWell shucks buster and shoot pardnah it sure is gettin mighty steamy in here! What a strange commotion what has come over this innocent country gal. You are really quite a fluster! Your glasses just can't seem to stop fogging up at this sudden influx of delirium you are experiencing! Of course, when such a gentleman caller is present one can't very well be expected to be completely restrained.

Oh Mister Bowie, you do tempt one so!

 

GG: Love, I ask you to focus on GG: They're writing on the wallsGG: in bullets and bloodGG: Don't let the men blast your shadowMM: it's hardMM: when the men are boulders :(MM: oh bowie what am i gonna do??MM: i'm a whisker away from becoming a roadkillGG: You're not a rock'n'roll suicideGG: You must hurry and finish his homeGG: He's trying hard but he GG: "can't initiate the ascension without complete deployment"GG: then once we've really got a good thing goingGG: you're gonna make it tooMM: youMM: you reckon?GG: I'm sureGG: but you're not protected, it's plain to seeGG: Come out of the bathroom, babyGG: you'll catch death in the tubGG: Get your feet back on the ground, this is an easy game for you to playGG: but time is not on our sideMM: aight...gosh mr. BowieMM: i'll tryMM: i'll try

[/font][/center]

Edited by Makaru
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[???]::::1101.gifYou are now....[???]::::1102.gifThe Larcenous Warden. And your communicator has just blown up in your face.This makes you angry.[LW]::::1103.gifWhat an impudent little philistine. The nerve of that over anaerobically metabolized primate. You've wiped your various organic material depository ducts with sheets of compressed fiber possessing higher intelligence than him. The nerve. THE AUDACITY.[LW]: Get Revenge1104.gifYou can't wait to get someone else to really teach him a lesson. You'd never sully your own scarf with such base actions. It's a handmade original.[LW]: Drink more hipster coffee1105.gifYes, regaining your composure is important. Emotions really are such a bad habit that you indulge far too often. You retrieve your precious beverage from your VINTAGE MODUS. Nothing like the classics.[LW]::::1106.gifMmm. The finest ground beans harvested from a world no longer in existence. You'll settle for nothing less.[LW]::::1107.gifSometimes it takes a few minutes for the captcha card to develop, but anything good is worth waiting for. Only the best for the best.[LW]: Leave hub room.1108.gifThere's really no reason to leave. You're perfectly fine sitting in this dank human factory room with these horridly soft pink monkeys. Yes, you think staying here is definitely the best option. It has nothing to do with the fact that the doors won't recognize your clear superiority. Such ignorant machines really are beneath your consideration anyway.[LW]: Call for help.1109.gifNot that you can anymore, but why would you want to even if you could? You have everything you could want right here. A cup half full of freshly brewed beans. A bunch of tubes that glow enough for you to pretend to read your obscure alien literature. A computer with the ability to rewrite human history. You know, the creature comforts.[LW]: Find someone else to open the doors1110.gifThe only person who can get you in and out of this room is that cretin who just blew up your device, unless one of these pedants wake up. It's why you and your cohorts agreed to work with him in the first place - he was an asset, until now.It doesn't bother you that you can't leave - it just irritates you that you need his help to if you ever did.[LW]::::1111.gifYou'll never understand what is so special about having imagination anyway.[LW]::::1112.gifUgh. How disgusting. One of -them- is wriggling around a little.

webbanner.gif

Latest Update: STORM AND SAND

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[LW]: Be the wriggling boy1114.gifYou are now the wriggling boy.[???]::::1115.gifWhat will you do?[???]: Identify surroundings1116.gifSure man, no problem.looks like you're having a dream.[???]: Go outside.1117.gifUh. Sure.How.Anyone out there?A lil help?[LW]: Reveal your nefarious plot!1118.gifRAAAAARGLLEBARGLEGRAAAH!You reveal your nefarious plot to scare the brick out of this worthless peon by jumping out at him from behind something.Truly, your intellectual abilities are astounding.[LW]: Succeed1119.gifYour plan is a tremendous success.[LW]::::1120.gifYou chuckle to yourself. It's always nice to put these hominids in their place.[LW]::::1121.gifServes him right for existing.[LW]::::1122.gifIs anybody cooler than you?You seriously doubt it.[???]: Suddenly appear1123.gif[???]::::1124.gif[???]::::1125.gif[???]: Be cooler than him1126.gifIs anyone cooler than you? You seriously doubt it.[???]::::1127.gif[???]::::1128.gifOoph.[???]::::1129.gifOh man. That hurts.Yeah. You're gonna rest for a minute.[???]::::1130.gif[???]: Wake up1131.gif[???]::::1132.gifOh boy. That hurts. You're not even exaggerating even a little bit.[???]::::1133.gifThe HUMANITY. Your anguish is so palpable you could make a nice soup from it if you really wanted to. You're not sure you've ever experienced such excruciating pain. Who knew having some minor bruises could be so terrible![???]::::1134.gifGuess that's what you get for trying to ride your bike to your job. Life is so hard. But you will persevere. After all, whether people know it yet or not you're gonna be the one to change the world. You're a star in the making. Everyone knows that![???]: Reveal name.1135.gifThere's no way everyone doesn't already know this, but we'll pretend someone out there is just that sheltered.Your name is PATRICK DARKLIGHTER. Yes, of THE Darklighters, famed for all their exploits a long, long time ago. Isn't this common knowledge already? People in galaxies far, far away know this stuff, you're pretty sure. Anyway, we'll continue on like they don't. After all, you never get tired of telling stories. Especially ones where you're the main character.Those are the BEST stories.Anyway, as we were saying, your name is PATRICK DARKLIGHTER, and you love stories. Once you start talking, entire rooms have been known to be drawn into your charisma, your words, just LOST in the mysteries and tangled webs you weave. You can't help it that you like to talk, after all, it's not your fault if other people keep listening. If they didn't want you to talk, they could just stop listening. But no one ever does. ###### you're good at talking. You could just talk all day. Stories, politics, religion, literatute, nerd stuff, photography, just name it.Of course, when it comes to discussions about OPINIONS, there are none stronger than yours. You believe passionately in the things you believe, and you will suffer no fools. If you believe someone holds an opinion that hurts you or your friends, or anyone, really, you will often lash out in a manner you think of as forceful and succinct, but can really just be cold and biting. Hey, it's not your fault that others aren't as keen on your verbose-yet-succinct methodology. And it's not your fault that other people are just continuously WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING.You currently live in a place. It is a cool place, and it is not a thing you like to talk about, oddly. It's a recent move, but hey, sometimes things don't work as planned, and dreams don't always come true. In fact, dreams are really just that- dreams. No matter what anyone else says. DREAMS ARE NOT REAL.You, of course, are best known for your work in the plastic building-block toy world, as one of its most favorite sons. What's that? Can you build things all on your own? Son, you build things that others would spend lifetimes dreaming of how to build. And you do it in a day. You've made the majority of your life connections through this hobby, and you've heard something about some video game thing through one of them. You're cautiously optimistic. Games are sometimes fun, after all.Seriously, you could talk about this stuff all day. But I mean, come on, there's no way you didn't already know this stuff. And you've got stuff to do!

31399314352_5890b9b8a3_o.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[Pat]: Take a deep, invigorating breath to wake yourself up1136.gif1136b.gifYou attempt to take a deep, invigorating breath, but the bruises from your biking accident hurt so it becomes a halting, regular-depth, slightly-painful breath.But it still succeeds in waking you up, so that's something?[Pat]: Be so tsundere1137.gifYou're not sure what that means, though you know it has something do with the animes. You think it has something to do with aloof anime schoolgirls?The visual of yourself as a cute-aloof-yet-secretly-lovestruck anime schoolgirl creeps you out.[Pat]: Call up cousin Gavin. You know, of THE Darklighters.1138.gifYour cousin Gavin? You mean, your great-great-so on ancestor from a long, long time ago?You're not really big on talking to dead peeps. Not really your style. You prefer your ancestor Biggs, anyway. For obvious reasons.[Pat]: Beware the CURSE OF THE DARKLIGHTERS.1139.gifThe only curse the DARKLIGHTERS suffer is of being too awesome.Haha, suck it non-DARKLIGHTERS![Pat]: Bask in your own glory1140.gifMan, that last joke was so great you feel compelled to bask in your own glory.Who are we kidding, do you really need an excuse to do that?You bask. We all bask. Everyone basks in your glory. And it feels so good.[Pat]: hey is that a spider i see because man i sure love that spider1141.gifEveryone loves that spider. Who wouldn't? It's one of your (many) works of staggering genius with the bricks.[Pat]: Play with your awesome mocs.1142.gifWoah, play? These things are important works of art, you don't just take them off the shelf and play with them! NO TOUCHING!Still...[Pat]: Put Master Chief MOC in a silly pose1143.gifWho is Master Chief? This here is Sarge! In fact, that sort of title sounds just like something a member of the varmint blue team would say.You pose Sarge in a manner more becoming of someone of his stature. Suck it blues![Pat]: Build another dragon1144.gifYou're working on it, promise! But these things take time. For now, we'll be content with the one we've got.[Pat]: Cut pieces1145.gifWOAH THERE BLUE, WE DON'T DO THAT HERE ON THE RED TEAM.You seethe at the mere mention of such a hack maneuver. Only those who lack the creative fortitude and IMAGINATION necessary to become behemoths of art resort to such methodology. Cutting parts is cheating, no ifs-and-or-buts about it. Sure, some people build some nice things that also contain cut parts, but those MOCs will always be just interesting asides, neat little sideshows in the real world of competitive artistic plastic-brick-toy building.You look down on anyone who cuts parts as a second-class builder. The audacity and lack of creativity makes your hair bristle.[Pat]: Captchalogue the awesome dragon MOC1146.gifDone and done. Your CREATIONARY MODUS snaps up the dragon without a problem, depositing it in the most appropriate color. The thing is the only way to get it out is to use the provided red blocks to build a small MoC of the item in question. Which means to get the giant dragon made out of Lego bricks, you have to build a tiny dragon out of lego bricks.Yeah. Gotta love redundancy.[Pat]: read mysterious inscriptions1147.gifWhat could they mean?? You decide to make decoding these your top priority.Just kidding, that would be stupid. You can't imagine anyone thinking it'd be a good idea to waste their time investigating these dumb scribbles.[Pat]: Add your signature to the benches1148.gifVANDALISM IS WRONG.(You do it anyway)[Pat]: Marvel at your rare misbound copy of Huckleberry Finn1149.gifOh Huck Finn! You know that many scholars point to the Great Gatsby as The Great American Novel, but you know that they are WRONG WRONG WRONG. Mark Twain is the finest American novelist of all time, and his grasp of diction, characterization, and cultural synthesis combines perfectly in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn to become The REAL Great American Novel. No other novel truly encapsulates the American ability to both rise above institutional evils while also encapsulating the American ability to still believe in those very institutions. Not to mention the American love of ignoring rules and laws they don't like!Plus, Huck Finn utters the most powerful words in all of American Literature when faced with the prospect of freeing Jim or being for all eternity: "All right then, I'll go to ".Powerful words, man.This copy is bound wrong. But that's just how Twain would have liked it.[Pat]: Contemplate love for Ohio State.1150.gifXCUSE ME but how many NCAA national championships does this "Ohio State" have? You don't know, but you know it's a lot less than the FIFTY-ONE the GREAT UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA STATE has won. That's FOURTH ALL TIME, everyone. You don't play around with this stuff! You get your ORANGE ON, you COWBOY UP, you are a POKE 4 LYFE, son. You spent four glorious years at this university, and you are proud of every single one.And you should have played for the BCS National Championship after that spectacular 2011 season. You are still a little bitter, in fact. But it's okay, you know Nick Saban and the rest of the SEC will get hit with infractions eventually. Cheaters never prosper long.Though obviously long enough to win national championships.Grumble grumble.[Pat]: I am your father.1151.gifNo you're not.[Pat]: Use the Force, Pat. Use the Force.1152.gifMaybe later. Right now there's more important things to do!

31399314352_5890b9b8a3_o.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

[Pat]: Take apart all your MOCs to make better MOCs1153.gifYou used to do this regularly, but since you became an adult with the ability to buy parts at a whim, you keep them all together now. It makes it easier to have MOCs to display at conventions and stuff too![Pat]: Sit in one of many choice seating arrangements1154.gifOne of the many, many, many awesome perks of your current living situations are these SWEET CHAIRS. They remind you of those old Greyhound bus rides you took with Raymond years and years ago. Ahhh, such good times those were!They led to such great things! Which led to an amazing person!And then terrible things.Yeesh. You decide to think about something else. Lest Terry Shaw come up from his grave-you're-certain-he-has-to-be-in-now and get you.[Pat]: Think about your favorite bands.1155.gifYou love so many bands! You're not a music snob like your friend Andrew, you'll listen to pretty much everything. Catchy Top 40 pop music? You'll Party in the USA all day long. Early 2000s Punk Rock? You're down with some snotty Fall Out Boy. Hip-Hop? You love taking it Yeezy. Of course, you'll always have Death Cab for Cutie, Coldplay, and Relient K. Bastions of classic rock? Definitely not, but you'll take Ben Gibbard following you into the dark over those goofy British guys Andrew's always talking about any day.(Just kidding, you know who the Monkees are.)(Also, you really do like modern music better. SOMEBODY has to balance this classic rock love-fest out.)(Also Ben Gibbard is a genius.)[Pat]: Dodge the incoming attack.1156.gifYou are certain that Andrew knows of your musical tastes and isn't planning any attack.You still feel slightly nervous though.[Pat]: Imagine an argument in your head and get mad1157.gifYou start to think about Andrew's irritating musical snobbery, and it starts to make you angry...Nah, you're good. Getting angry about such a thing would be silly! I mean, just because he ignores ENTIRE SWATHS OF AMAZING TALENT AND ABILITY to focus on a bygone era that he hasn't even explored all of (heaven forbid someone listen to any of the music that HASN'T been touted as "BEST OF ALL TIME" from that era. NEWSFLASH! The "CLASSIC ROCK" period had a lot of terrible music too.)Okay, maybe it's time to think of ANOTHER something else...[Pat]: Retrieve communicative device. 1158.gifYou decide to get on the old Internet. See what the modern world is up to. They didn't have the INTERNET during the "classic rock" period either. Score one for modern music.You retrieve your laptop from the box containing ALL YOUR WORLDLY POSESSIONS(But seriously, you're pretty down with classic rock too. You like a lot of that stuff!)[Pat]:::: 1159.gifThe last of the really good times floods your screen. You know since everything went to ###### ###### just a few moments later, and led directly to your current existence that you should probably move on. But you have a hard time letting go of that memory. Everything felt so perfect, like things in life had finally, FINALLY all fallen into their perfect places.[Pat]:::: 1160.gifYou don't know why things always seem to go to ######. But they do. You had big dreams, you two did.But dreams aren't real.It's not your fault other people can't see that. After all, your dream decayed in front of your eyes, just a few moments after this image was taken.This is the last of The Dream.[Pat]:::: 1161.gifDreams aren't real.[Pat]: Google your screen name1162.gifYou decide what the hey. It's not like you have your username tag tracked on any social networking sites...Hey, everyone deserves to know what's being said of them.[Pat]::::1163.gifYep, still just a lot of "PAT IS AWESOME HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT ABOUT EVERY ARGUMENT YEAH WAY TO STAND UP FOR COOL KIDS YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"You knew it. You ignore the negative "PAT IS A MEANFACE" comments. Clearly some people don't take to losing arguments well.[Pat]: Be summoned!1164.gifYou see someone is trying to pester you. You don't know why you even signed on to that messaging client.It's not like you.[Pat]: A conversant seeks an audience!1165.gifYes, you see that. But you don't really like these IM things. You don't really know why. They just make you uncomfortable.[Pat]: be pestered1166.gifOkay fine.

warwornArbalest (WA) began aggravating graphicalPerfectionist (GP) at 10:52 PSTWA: hey beanWA: i know we don't talk much but i was hoping i could pull your ear about this hep cat adams WA: it's my understanding that you're pretty good friends GP: he is totes my bfffff 4 lyfe yo WA: crazy WA: i mean WA: what's his deal? WA: he hit me up in such a panic i didn't know what to make of it GP: his deal is usually buy one get one off WA: that kid was in outer space GP: he is usually quite cray cray, yes WA: i see....WA: far out GP: was he in a panic because you were talking to him WA: no brother he gave me a bell first WA: i was hoping you could clue me in WA: i mean i suppose we had a divine little chat for what it was and i can tell he's got some jets GP: he can be a bit of a smartypants, yes WA: but i'm still not sure what he was all worked up about GP: he is sincere though...sometimesGP: i haven't talked to him much on the recent GP: i can think o flots of things he'd be worked up about though GP: also of lots WA: care to enlighten me? GP: ray's one of those guys GP: you know? GP: he likes the peoples GP: he likes to talk WA: i could tell GP: he pretends he doesn't GP: but don't let him fool you GP: there's been a lot of cray cray dramatics lately WA: i mean he was real gone GP: he's the guy who wants to hold it all together by strings WA: we hadn't even talked before but i got the impression i had already razzed his berries and that was a bit of a kick GP: and yes, you probably did. i bet he was adorably flustered WA: ice it, though WA: so you kids are pretty tight GP: we are the tightest illest kids for realz WA: you seem to know him well WA: i mean i don't mean to go ape over him WA: he's just caught my attention is all, you know? WA: i don't mean to be a germ about it WA: maybe he razzed my berries a little too, if you can dig GP: i can definitely dig GP: in the other room i have a big shovel GP: the other room can even be a freezer where the shovel is iced GP: i am hip to metaphors WA: i can tell WA: we're cookin GP: you and ray? WA: ;-) WA: aheh WA: ain't that a bite GP: he does like to bite GP: you have to be careful GP: he thinks they're gentle love nips GP: but those teeth are as solid as any in a community that regularly and intelligently flouridates their water supply WA: like a puppy? WA: or like a bear? GP: well he's too gangly to be a bear GP: not quite innocent enough to be a puppy GP: i'd say like a cat WA: stealthy, perhaps? GP: well i for one wasn't expecting bites WA: you were a victim! you guys must really be tight GP: one time he slept on me WA: on top of you? GP: on my shoulder GP: he is totes adorbs when sleeping WA: he must be... tinier than i thought GP: ... GP: probably notGP: wink GP: he is a big muscley man of muscle WA: like a lumberjack? WA: tell me, daddy-o WA: how can this adams be like a cat and a lumberjack at the same time? WA: that's a riddle i'd like an answer to GP: he is like "what if gaston wasn't straight-up ###### looney and instead had the heart of a champion and the veneer of a noble and true englishman from stories of old" WA: then beauty and the beast would have been a different story, i supposeGP: it would have, because ray would have been the noble and pure gaston and also the prince, but with no curse because that man knows how to let little old creepy ladies in out of the storm, and he also LIKES roses WA: he's both fellas at once? GP: yes, because he really epitomizes the noble savagery deep inside all stereotypical portrayals of pure masculinity whislt also having the social graces and confidence to speak with gusto about his accomplishments whilst also appreciating the beauty of a woman literally named "beauty" who loves to read, to imagine, to dream. a man who appreciates the wilds of both the real physical world and also the intellect WA: he... he sounds quite fly, then, i suppose GP: he is so fly GP: he is outer space fly WA: that's perhaps the highest and most infinite level of fly attainable GP: right? GP: he's so fly i'm not even going to pipe in with a "but I'm more fly" GP: I am but I won't pipe in with itWA: i can't say i know you well enough to attest to who is more fly my deepest apologies GP: it's okay GP: (it is really me though) GP: i will tell you it is ray in the service of noble bros WA: he's noble, too, is he? GP: oh yes WA: i must say you've provided some captivating descriptions of this adams fellow.i confess i still don't know what prompted his anguish or initial communication with me GP: eh, we'll find out i'm sure WA: but at least i know he's noble, and could play at least two characters in a classic children's tale, right? WA: not sure what else i could ask for GP: he likes to draw GP: and play with the legos WA: gaston, a beast who possesses only favorable qualities, and an artist? righto WA: sounds incredible.WA: unbelievably so.GP: haha good GP: hopefully this mild panic he was in was because a pencil broke or his brother built another lame robot or something silly WA: i must wonder what lead him to contact me of all people, though GP: it's probably because you razzed his berries WA: oh ###### no!GP: no it's okay he likes having his berries razzed warwornArbalest ceased aggravating graphicalPerfectionist

 

[Pat]: EARN "WINGMAN WINGS" AWARD1167.gifYou have achieved the coveted "WINGBRO FO SHO" tier! Only the most accomplished of wingmen have reached this rung - but you do what you can.[Pat]: Be Totally Alone1168.gifYou're not totally alone. There's always that hobo who is always watching you. It'd be creepy if he wasn't such an adorable little guy.[Pat]: Pat the hobos1169.gifTo do that, you'd have to go outside!You suppose you ought to. You are hungry after all![Pat]: Go outside1170.gif1170b.gif1170c.gifYou open the door into the beautif subway[Pat, pat, Pat, pat, pat, pat]: you're cute1171.gifYou are grateful for the reminder, but you wonder where this sudden outburst came from.[Pat]:::1172.gifYep, right where you've come to expect it! Every week this mysterious rail-cart arrives with provisions. They say something about a "DHARMA INITIATIVE" on them, and you've ascertained the octagonal symbol on the cart probably has some sort of meaning. But trying to figure it out just leaves you LOST.[Pat]:::1173.gifYou turn just in time to see that adorable hobo you share your tunnel with scurrying away. You wonder what he's been up to...

31399314352_5890b9b8a3_o.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[Hobo]: Be up to something.1174.gifHey! Who are you calling a hobo??? Everyone falls on hard times now and then. Especially me. I've been living in pure terror for weeks![iR]: Provide longer update.1175.gifHello??? I can't do my job when this freaky little thing is sitting there, waiting to strike! Sure, he looks inanimate. Sure, he's never once moved under his own power. That's just to lull you into a false sense of security. You can never trust a puppet.[iR]: A puppet.1176.gifLook at that smug little face. He makes me sick to my pixels.Or maybe it's because I've been hiding here for weeks and my clothes are really starting to smell.[iR]: Are you insane?1177.gifAnd look! A canadian flag pin! The only thing you can trust less than a puppet is a patriotic canadian. TRUST ME ON THIS.[iR]: Be spotted.1178.gifWHY WOULD YOU WRITE THAT???[iR]: Hahahahahah.1179.gifHE'S AFTER ME! QUICK SWITCH TO SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

webbanner.gif

Latest Update: STORM AND SAND

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[brian]: Think about your next big life choice.
1180.gif

IrritableRevenant (IR) began aggravating technicalDropout (TD) at 12:18 MST
IR: Brian you crack me up you know that?
TD: Im glad thats a thing i do ray
TD: It warms me from the top of my tall tall head to the tips of my feet
TD: And the only thing that could improve this jovial mindset of mine is for you to elaborate on what it is that makes you laugh
IR: Well, your hilariously goofy hat collection is always a good start
IR: but this time it's just me thinking back to what you said earlier today
IR: about this game being a little more immersive than I'd expect
IR: really comedy gold right there
IR: a little more immersive
IR: the sea? it's a little more wet than a puddle.
TD: Is that a thing i said gosh that seems so long ago
IR: Yeah it's a thing. Look it up the logs are right there.
IR: Aren't you supposed to be some kind of technical GENIUS?
IR: waving your magic wand and watching technology dance for you like you're mickey mouse and you've just discovered the sorcerer's hat
TD: Hang on let me check this prophetic wisdom i layed before the masses
TD: (come on man work with me here)
TD: (okay just move that window over there)
TD: (no youre just messing everything up)
TD: Haha okay yes that is most definitely words i used

[brian]::::
1181.gif

TD: So i take it to mean you have started playing
TD: (the game that is)
IR: playing
IR: I'm standing knee deep in a sand dune three feet from where a space bug tried to murder me while listening to a floating microsoft office assistant icon tell me how to manufacture pure imagination to fly my houseship that I've named the Ta-Tanic into the stars
IR: is that what you mean by playing
TD: Yes although i think we skipped a few steps there can you rewind that back a bit
IR: I don't know if I have much time to lay it all out
IR: I mean, I'm not a super sleuth but it sounds like you knew this was going to happen
TD: I am mostly aware of the task set before us but i must admit with utmost humility that the details routinely evade me
IR: well let me break it down for you buddy
IR: Upon installation I found myself promptly beset by attempts on my life by some angry god with a lot of lightning at his disposal
IR: My house was set on fire multiple times, attacked by a nincompoop who needs to wear a helmet when he plays videogames, and finally turned into an admittedly sweet spaceship that took me who knows where.
IR: And that was just the beginning! Since then I've found myself dealing with aliens and lego people and killer robots on a minute by minute basis.
TD: Wait
[brian]::::
1182.gif

IR: and the best part is how an annoying, ego centric ###### has been floating around telling me what to do the entire time
IR: so maybe you should start spilling some beans on how you knew about all this
IR: and more importantly why none of those ridiculous things I just said were exaggerations or lies like they usually are
IR: since I doubt I'm gonna live much longer anyway, at least grant me this last wish
TD: I would like to explore this topic in the great depths this subject requires
TD: But while i do appear to have some manner of prognostication without context i cannot make any real sense of it
TD: But I can deduce with some manner of confidence that you have been partnered with andrew
TD: (so glad to see that worked out in the end)
TD: And somehow in the process you began to take orders from your lil' bro
TD: Which i must admit does baffle me to a degree
IR: ?
IR: No no

[brian]::::
1183.gif

IR: I'm not sure where he ran off to. I think he got made after I almost murdered him and I haven't really seen him since
IR: I'm talking about the other annoying ######
IR: the one the game provided
IR: He basically floats around and tells me how to do things I already know in the most excruciating way possible
TD: Oh dear did you acquire such a companion through a convoluted mess of pairing unlikely objects
IR: Yeah actually
IR: You're holding out on me bro
IR: I will get the key to those secrets eventually
TD: Um okay so you acquired this companion before the events that led you andrews apt display of gamesmanship
IR: He showed up after Andrew was done destroying my house
TD: Oh gracious me
TD: Ray i think we are in a bit of a spot here
TD: I have such a companion in my presence
IR: Good. Serves you right
TD: No you dont understand i have not had anyone set me up im totally a free agent as it were
IR: what.
TD: I may have accidentally cheated and i think i may have gone about things altogether not savvy with the mechanics of it all and the botherations of all sorts and
TD: Okay
TD: Ray i think i broke the game
TD: But there is still time to fix it i think
TD: Is andrew still waiting for someone to act as his server
IR: I can't say for sure. I think he's being a big stubborn butthead and not talking to me anymore
IR: Hannah said something about playing the game with him though so she's probably taking care of him
IR: got him all swaddled up like the big baby he is
TD: Oh blast then there may not be much time then
TD: But i must set things right for my friends
IR: Couldn't you just play with her?
IR: I mean, if my experience is typical she's probably going to need the help
IR: Before her potato gets baked like mine almost did
[brian]::::
1184.gif

TD: All right then so my task is clear
TD: Good luck with your beaches mission this countdown clock is starting to frighten me something fierce i shall speak with you in due time
IR: Waait dangit
IR: What's going oonnnnnnnnnn

20383310448_7d514f8ffa.jpg

 

Spoiler Alert

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[brian]: Abuse Newfound Powers.

1185.gif
HEY TINPLATE. YEAH YOU. GET A HOLD OF MS. KANAKANAK PLEASE.
[brian]::::
1186.gif
He does not take kindly to your encouragement.
[brian]::::
1187.gif
Buzzkill.
[brian]::::
1188.gif
But of course, even this dandy droid knows how important this is. He obliges your request.

 

technicalDropout (TD) began aggravating MoochyMensch (MM) at 12:20 MST
TD: Hannah thank goodness you are present how are things in your neck of the prairies
MM: howdy pardner!
MM: things are right crazy over here, let me tell you
MM: but I think i'll be okay for a spell
MM: I'm just huffin and puffin' here!
TD: Oh that is good news i was worried you might have some manner of crisis on your hands
TD: For example
MM: heavens to betsy, no! The crisis is over!
MM: I saved my loverly li'l pup :')
TD: Oh well that sure is a dandy thing you did for your little Poutine
MM: durn tootin!
MM: he was so brave
TD: Now on the other hand
MM: chargin' to save me from some big ol' rocks
MM: I took some pictures of him, do you want to see them?
TD: Maybe later if we could just
MM: he is the bravest puppy
MM: also the cutest
TD: Yes yes he is just the most fetching thing but i need your help on a situation of my own
MM: well mister you wouldn't be alone in that. I just had to be the rescue dog to another feller, too
TD: Yes Ray did speak of andrew in that regard and he is quite a trooper
MM: i suppose he's a trooper all right
MM: he was in a real pickle!
MM: neighbors were blazin' guns like the reverie boys were comin'
MM: but I dropped the couch on 'em!
TD: That is definitely something i am sure will make sense in the process of a good chew of the cud as it were but i think i need to interject that if i do not put some things in motion on my end of the business there may be a slight chance of failure and death for all parties involved
TD: (if thats okay with you)
MM: snakes alive! it seems like danger's followin' all of us lately
MM: you know, I durn near had to demolish that ol' feller's house in tryin to fix him up good
MM: I think he was a little rustled
TD: I think that wanton domicile destruction is a thing we will all have to make our peace with if we wish to survive
TD: And i think fate has put it my hands to wantonly destroy your little house on the prairie
MM: well, I reckon you'll have to saddle up and run that there game, then
MM: can you do that?
MM: or is Canada in the PAL region or something
TD: My dear hannah

20383310448_7d514f8ffa.jpg

 

Spoiler Alert

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[bZPStuck]: Mo' Canada

1189.gif
Indeed! A second wave of heroic patriotism washes over you as your true destiny reveals itself. As a newly minted member of the DISTINGUISHED ROYAL ORDER OF THE CANADIAN GENTLEMEN, it is your solemn duty to just look your darn best.
[brian]: Play the Game
1190.gif
Oh. Yes.
You remember you don't actually have the disks yet.
So much for destiny.
[brian]::::
1191.gif
Think Brian think! You know there must be a way to get the disks! Perhaps if you could retrieve a small aircraft you could take it to find them....no, that will never do! Perhaps more of those emergency curtains opened, like before! Surely there is a series of repetitive tasks that require you to run around in a circle for several hours, collecting whatnots to give to whomever in order to trade for the key to get your game!
[Droid]: Attempt to smash Brian.
1192.gif
A heavy hand suddenly rests itself on your shoulder. Surely he can't be aching for round 2 already? You just got done reinflating yourself after the last pounding. Boy that one was a real humdinger. You really do feel bad for anyone who didn't get to see it, because it was probably the most intense STRIFE of your life! Other than your constant battle with the mechanics of basic electricity that is. Which you are totally actually good at and not a massive flub.
[brian]::::
1193.gif
Oh. He's not looking for a fight.
[brian]::::
1194.gif
Which makes sense after all.
[brian]::::
1195.gif
He's always been there to help you with your problems.
[brian]::::
1196.gif
If there's someone you can always count on, it's Brain.

 

20383310448_7d514f8ffa.jpg

 

Spoiler Alert

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

[brian, Hannah]: Install1197.gif1197b.gifYou, meaning Brian, install your server copy immediately while stashing the client for later use. You, meaning Hannah, finish installing your client. You of course already installed your serve to take care of Andrew. Boy, what is he up to anyway? If you were you, meaning Ray, you'd probably be pretty curious if he managed to take off yet, but you are you, not you, so your priorities are much more of the avoiding imminent squishing at the moment.[Hannah]: Aggravate Brian1198.gif

 

MM: Boy howdy those rocks are sure landin awful close buddy...MM: Think maybe we could scoot this along?TD: My apologies! I am still getting used to the interface.TD: However I am fairly certain you are hearing my somewhat awkward placement of devices likely to be crucial in your escape.TD: (if my theory of what's happening is right)TD: (which it might not be)

 

[Hannah]: Stop hiding1199.gif

 

MM: What the he...I mean, lawd have mercy!

 

[Hannah]: Engage in dialogue with Brian1200.gif

 

MM: What did you do to my piles??MM: This here's just uncalled for!TD: I do apologizeTD: AlthoughTD: I am not sure what I am apologizing for?

 

[Hannah]::::1201.gif

 

MM: The piles bro!MM: The piles!MM: They're all ruined!TD: The...piles.

 

[Hannah]: Be bored. Enter the next room.1202.gif

 

MM: I had a SYSTEM man!TD: Uh. TD: Well I'm sorry.TD: I'm no stranger to posessing a room that appears chaotic but which is in reality a highly organized system that is totally obvious to anyone with a brain.TD: And since I essentially have two, it's doubly obvious to me.TD: (or is it half as obvious?)TD: That your whole house is anything but methodically layed out and strategically decorated...with...TD: Piles.TD: Of doritos.MM: Thank you.

 

[Hannah]::::1203.gifWait...

Is that...?[Hannah]::::1204.gif

It is. It’s your Lehvak.You pluck the long-lost plastic bug from atop of what once was its hidden tomb. You can’t believe you lost track of this priceless treasure, this significant relic of your past.Woof, this thing has been buried for a while. It seems to have accumulated EXACTLY TEN YEARS TO THE DAY’s worth of dust.You feel a tingle in the back of your mind.

Edited by LehvakLah
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

[Hannah]: Be overwhelmed with NOSTALGIA.1205.gifThe tingle of INTENSE NOSTALGIA hits your brain like a week old potato. You remember the day you found this mysterious set inside your backpack with nary an explanation. You think it's pretty likely the answer is lost to time completely and will never come up in any conceivable form or fashion again.[Hannah]: Be past Hannah1206.gifYou are now Hannah...in the past. Past Hannah. Pastannah.This is stupid.So like...what the heck is this thing? You pop the top and breathe in the fresh smell of factory plastic. Mmm. A girl could get addicted to this stuff.[Hannah]::::1207.gifThe label on the package reads "Bionicle". What a weird name! You sure would like to know more about these Bionicles. That's definitely the way you pluralize that word you decide. It just makes sense![Hannah]::::1208.gifYou access your STATE OF THE ART computer and connect with your LIGHTNING FAST 56k modem to the internet. If the answers are anywhere, they'll be there, swimming on the digital stream like hungry little fish looking for a dangling query hook to hang on to.[Hannah]::::

1209b.gif1209.gifYou find a website that looks promising. "Bionicle Zone Power". What a cool name. This front page looks state of the art. A banner with an explosion on it? Now that's cutting edge.You decide to register.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...
[Hannah]: Spend Ten Minutes Bobbing Lehvak's Head Back and Forth.


1210.gif


Oh yeah!




[Hannah]: Go With the Lehvak on an adventure!


1211.gif


You are now the LEHVAK, freshly hatched from the nest. A single thought rings through your robo bug mind. Your mission is to CLEAN IT ALL. IT MUST BE CLEANED.


You've got a lot of work ahead of you.




[Hannah]::::


1212.gif


From a distance you spy an impediment to your progress. The interloper will surely provide nothing but trouble. You've tangoed with this fancy footworker before. You won't be feeling the painful Toa's toe to your backside this time though. You have other plans




[Hannah]::::


1213.gif


GOTCHA!!!




[Hannah]::::


1214.gif


ENJOY BEING A SLAVE TO THE HIVEMIND LEG BOY!!




[Hannah]::::


1215.gif


You fling your Krana Toa-ward. Or at least you would if it was still inside your brain pan. Instead your head plate flops uselessly forward and you end up just looking very silly.




[Hannah]: Get Krana


1216.gif


Gosh dang it all to betsy. It looks like you've misplaced the little brain mask. Now how will you take over the minds of your victims and force them to do your bidding?? It's a real shame too. This Lehvak is clearly a PROTOTYPE, considering how you received it YEARS before it would actually be released in stores. Not to mention the awesome glowing affect it had - you always wondered why they never included that feature in the final product. It was so dern neat!




[Hannah]: Be Brian


1217.gif


Suddenly you are current Brian again. Good greif, this is getting messy! Look at these two well-explained characters doing all their shenanigans.


Nice try. But don't you think you've held out on us long enough? Corral this nonsense before you lose everyone.




[brian]: Be Past Brian


1218.gif


1219.gif


You are suddenly the pastest Brian possible in this comic. You couldn't even get more paster than this guy right here. You succeed in forgetting that totally adorable baby picture of you from earlier which has no relevance and will probably never be significant.




[brian]: Be Even Paster Brian


1220.gif


You try be even paster Brian and fail miserably. The past remains obscured to you for the foreseeable future.



[brian]::::


1221.gif


Good gracious, look at this place! You had forgotten all about it until now. You are now in the HUB ROOM, the central location of your house thing. A few relics of your past still litter the hall. You fondly remember playing with all the ancillary control textiles as a youth. You used to play with these curtains all day. What a grand and not boring childhood you have had.


Just like in your room, all of the A.C.T. curtains are closed, save for one. You cannot possibly fathom why, since you seem to still be on lock-down. Calamity!

Edited by Makaru

20383310448_7d514f8ffa.jpg

 

Spoiler Alert

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 months later...
[brian]: Read the Notebook on the Floor

1222.gif

You take a gander at the notebook you lost before. You are bafflingly unsurprised at how much this has not changed. Staggeringly uninteresting, really. You could have sworn this would not have been altered by literally the dozens of people who are clearly not here.

You stick this bad boy back in your pocket for safe keeping.

[brian]: Ogle Horrifying Death Machine

1223.gif

What this thing? This is nothing more than one of the many maintenance drones that inhabit your home. Most of them are quite a bit smaller and less humanoid. This one has been a sort of pet project of yours, sporting many improvements and add-ons, such as your (patent-pending) HOLOJECTOR 9000 and advanced internal processor, sent to you on a boondoggle of a trade.

[brian]::::

1224.gif

1224b.gif

Sadly, it hasn't been working since you installed the latest component from Ray's Lil' Bro. You had to trash the old, incompatible memory banks with the new hardware. For now, your giant robomonstrosity is nothing more than a really cool and intimidating looking computer. I guess that's one more project you'll probably never finish!
[brian]: Quickly Retrieve Lewa

1225.gif

Oh man, is that who you think it is? Sir Bro Lewa Nuva, of the House of Air and Wind! This cool cat was your fave Bionicle character. I mean, his history is a little confusing, what with him being the youngest of all the identically aged Toa who sometimes spoke normal, but other times in "Tree-speak" that is also "Chute-Speak" which sometimes sounds Irish, but not really? This wacky dude got in all sorts of face-related trouble, what with infected masks and Krana, and all.

You're pretty sure Lewa was an allegory for teen acne and peer pressure. This makes perfect sense, and ain't no one can tell you otherwise.

[brian]: Move the Story Along

1226.gif

WHOOOOOOOOOOSH okay this is entirely pointless.

[brian]: Do Whatever it Takes

1227.gif

Whoops.
[brian]: Ignore Open Curtain, Enter Any Other

1232b.gif

 

We've tried this gag before. You attempt to push through the seemingly flimsy cloth partition only to smack your big flat face against the clearly impenetrable barrier. You should know by now that some doors just do not open, and any and all attempts to get through said door are fruitless endeavors for silly time-wasters. You're a big man on a big mission. You gots bigger fish to fry.

 

 

 

[brian]: Close the Curtain that is Open

1232c.gif

 

And what, get yourself stuck in just this room with your dead, robot butler? Not on your life! You continue to leave the enticingly inviting curtain open.

[brian]: Speak in Tree-Speak.

1237.gif

Lewa is your hero, and the way his people talk is still sort of adorable in their own stupid and annoying way, but you could never twist your tongue quite like that. You continue to talk like a perfect doofus.

[brian]: Captchalogue the Robot. The Whole Thing.

1233.gif

You are unable to remember how heavy this robot is, but it looks like it's just below the minimum weight tolerances of your sylladex! Unfortunately, this big bucket of dead weight is your only computer for the time being.

You swear once you get the chance, you're going to start carrying around five computers at any given time. Like a sensible person.

[brian]::::

1234.gif

It seems stuck. Maybe if you just jiggle it a little you can just...

[brian]::::
1235.gif
[brian]::::

1236.gif

The secret achievement counter reminds you that it still, and always has, existed. This fetching outfit is quite nice, and although there are days you imagine wearing it and taking on the heroic stature of the universally respected ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED POLICE, this set of finery remains locked for any but the most PATRIOTIC of Canadians. Until your heart physically resembled a maple leaf, you will find donning this suit quite impossible. Your sadness is physically palpable.

You stuff it into your clotheset anyway. A gentleman can dream.

[brian]: Attempt to fly.

1238.gif

You can fly just as well in real life as you can when you dream, which is not at all. You vividly recall that moment with your keen sense of imagination.

[brian]: Step on the Thing. Hope it's Not a Teleporter

1229.gif

The thing you hope is not a teleporter is indeed a teleporter. You totally forgot all about that time you fell asleep on it and had those CRAZY dreams. The teleporter teleports you away to somewhere else.

[brian]::::

1230.gif

Oh

[brian]::::

1231.gif

My

[brian]::::

1232.gif

Goodness

[brian]::::
1239.gif
[brian]::::
1240.gif
[brian]: Cry Maple Syrup Tears Because of the Countdown

1241.gif

What countdown could you be referring to?

[brian]::::

1242.gif

Oh.

[brian]: Be Flabbergasted

1243.gif

You will get right to being flabbergasted as soon as you finish being dumbfounded.

[brian]: Clean Up Those Bears

1244.gif

You tuck your knives safely back where they belong. You have a feeling you're going to be needing these soon.

[brian]: Try to Stop the Countdown by Destroying the Clock

1245.gif

You have a feeling that will be of absolutely no use. You wonder why a giant screen with a countdown teleported itself into your room in the EXACT position of what used to be your TV, when it would be much more efficient to simply hack into your TV and display the countdown, especially assuming that whoever is responsible for this is capable of hacking into a television set, which, given that they have teleportation technology, is a reasonable assumption.

Or it could have just been sitting behind the TV all this time. Who even knows!

[brian]: Let the Countdown Get to Zero to See What Happens

1246.gif


1246b.gif

You plan on doing that all while doing a series of other things. You figure whatever happens at zero will somehow be brought to your attention the moment the clock strickes nil. You imagine it involves a lot of structural damage and bodily harm. Countdowns almost always never end in candy and pony rides.

[brian]: Begin Singing

1247.gif

You've put it off long enough. Too bad your keyboard isn't plugged in. You could use some sick riffs to calm your nerves.

[brian]: WE'RE LEAVING TOGETHER
1248.gif

1248b.gif
[brian]: BUT STILL IT'S FAREWELL
1249.gif
[brian]: 'CUZ MAYBE WE'LL COME BACK
1250.gif

1250b.gif
[brian]: TO EARTH WHO CAN TELL
1251.gif
[brian]: I GUESS THERE'S NO ONE TO BLAME
1252.gif

1252b.gif

1252c.gif
[bRIAN]: WE'RE LEAVING GROUND
1253.gif
[bRIAN]: WILL THINGS EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN?
1254.gif

1254b.gif

1254c.gif
[bRIAN]: IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN
1255.gif
Edited by Makaru

20383310448_7d514f8ffa.jpg

 

Spoiler Alert

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[brian]: Fight droid to the death.

ClickForFlash.gif


[bRAIN]: Auto-Install

1258.gif



[bRAIN]::::

1259.gif


[bRAIN]::::

1260.gif


[bRAIN]::::

1261.gif


[bRAIN]: Forget about Brian

1262.gif

Impossible. You have saved every word Brian has ever spoken to you in your user preferences, like any good computer program should. Not a flippant remark has gone unnoted.



[bRAIN]::::

1263.gif


[bRAIN]::::

1264.gif



[bRAIN]::::

1265.gif


[bRAIN]::::

1266.gif


[bRAIN]::::

1267.gif

20383310448_7d514f8ffa.jpg

 

Spoiler Alert

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just so anyone who is using the board's software to follow this topic will know, we have discontinued the use of this topic for all updates because of its severely degraded state. You can still keep track of the comic's updates either by subscribing to the discussion/official thread where a link to the latest update on the mirror will be posted here, you can bookmark the comic itself here, or we have a handy dandy RSS feed you can subscribe to that will automatically tell you when new things are posted here. I'll probably go ahead and close this so that it can sink into obscurity forever. Thanks for reading so far, and I hope you'll continue to enjoy what we have next.

Edited by InnerRayg

webbanner.gif

Latest Update: STORM AND SAND

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...