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My Master

Vezon Kardas Fenrakk Ignika Piraka

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2 replies to this topic

#1 Offline LockmanCapulet

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Posted Jan 22 2013 - 11:11 AM

My Master

By LockmanCapulet

 

I knew nothing but instinct before my master came.

 

When he first came to the altar-cave and touched the Life, I felt the power, the Life itself, flow into me from where his feet touched my back, where they did not move from. I felt my legs grow, my jaws expand, my fangs sharpen. I was no longer a little spawn spider. I had power. I was power. I felt… alive.

 

The Life made me know that I was to guard it, and that he was my master.

 

My master.

 

He was me and I was him. I knew what he was from and what made him, the weapon he had. He told me his story, how he fled the ones he came from and found me. I told him what I could remember of my life. We had one thing in common- before we found the Life (the Life found us?) we were both lost and without true purpose, despite our futile desires.

 

He knew me and my power. They were his, too. When we were attacked, we would get stronger. Most things could not hurt us. We were perfect to guard the Life.

 

The first six came, the ones my master came from. With the power he came from, my master made two of them one and made the one fight the others. He made the one into two again, and left them all asleep.

 

For now, my master- and the Life- were safe.

 

The next six came a short time after. They were better than the first. They had their own powers like the Life, but different. We fought them for longer than the other six. They pushed us back, and my master and I fell in the magma in the altar-cave. I thought we would die.

 

But we didn’t. My legs grew joints and claws, my body stretched, and wings grew from my back. I was a new creature. My master and I rose from the magma, startling the new six. He spoke to them, then we fought more. While we fought, one of the new six used his power to make the Life talk to my master. The Life wanted to be with one of the new six, not him.

 

Not my master.

 

My master was angered and made us fight even harder. The battle raged on for what seemed like forever. But then…

 

It all stopped.

 

The next thing I knew, my master was off of me. The Life was somewhere else. I was free, and I was powerful. I flew to the surface, knowing that I needed him no longer.

 

Him, my master.

 

I knew nothing but instinct after my master left.


Edited by LockmanCapulet, Jan 26 2013 - 11:56 AM.

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#2 Offline Grandmaster Lehvorak

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Posted Jan 24 2013 - 10:41 PM

[color=#000080;]Interesting story, it kinda took me a while to figure out who the creature the story was based upon, but I remember! It has been a long time since I last heard of that creature. It was interesting, but something about the beginning needs to be fixed because it didn't really hook me into the story until I got into the middle.[/color]

 

[color=#000080;]Lehvorak[/color]


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#3 Offline LockmanCapulet

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Posted Jan 26 2013 - 11:53 AM

[color=rgb(0,0,128);]Interesting story, it kinda took me a while to figure out who the creature the story was based upon, but I remember! It has been a long time since I last heard of that creature. It was interesting, but something about the beginning needs to be fixed because it didn't really hook me into the story until I got into the middle.[/color]

 

[color=rgb(0,0,128);]Lehvorak[/color]

 

Thank you for the feedback! I added a few lines to the beginning to clarify the speaker's identity and to more clearly illustrate Fenrakk's relationship with Vezon.


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