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Five Bands

Pick 5 bands / artists that you love before reading the following questions: fun. The National The Airborne Toxic Event The Hold Steady Bright Eyes What was the first song you ever heard by 1?   "Walking the Dog". I still remember the day my best friend showed it to me..like..vividly. =P I had no idea that I had just been introduced to an artist that was gonna have such a huge impact on my life..it's weird, thinking back on it, that fun. wasn't ALWAYS a part of my life.   Is there a song b

Javi

Javi

The Weekenders

Oh, wow..BZPower is up..I can start using my pointless blog again.   So..pff..is anyone who used to read my blog still there? No? OHWELL! =)   Ah, wow..my last entry was in April, after I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. xD Oh, how things have changed..   I think I'm just gonna use her name, cos "my girlfriend" gets annoying..   Corrina and I have been dating for..about seven and a half months? Uhh..8 months on November 1st. =P Things are actually still going really, really great. ^.^ I

Javi

Javi

Everything Is Alright

Well..I realised that I haven't been on BZPower in around a month..so I figured I'd post something.   Uh, everything is going great with my girlfriend still..other than the fact that we haven't had too many chances to be together, and very few alone..but that should change next week. Her mom has a friend that's been living with them for the past few months, and he's moving out tomorrow..and her mom doesn't get home from work until 6PM..so I'm gonna start biking over to her house after school.

Javi

Javi

Kissed Her =)

Pff, I kept forgetting to reply to people's comments on my blog posts..I really wanted to..ah, well..it's been quite a few days; I'd feel odd going back to those now.   So - I kissed her yesterday! (Well, really, two days ago - Wednesday..) It was rather pleasant; my first kiss. Today (uhm, yesterday)..we kissed again..and I said something like "I don't think that was good enough, can I try again?" And after that, we just kept kissing over and over again for a long time - it seemed like a lon

Javi

Javi

Held Her Hand

So we hug as a hello/goodbye...but today was the first day I held her hand, and I believe the first time I've ever held hands at all (beyond jokingly, anyway)..and I was surprised at how pleasant it was, and how warm I felt from it..I didn't expect holding hands to be that nice.   I believe that just leaves kissing - I'm not ready for that, even though she more or less told me that she'd be ohkay with it...ehh..I think that's something to wait for the right time for. We're going to an amusemen

Javi

Javi

So I Have A Girlfriend Now

It's quite a complicated situation. She's the best friend I've ever had, and I've liked her since..October? November? I dunno..but she was dating my best friend until a few weeks ago (they'd been dating for nine months, since sometime last year, before I really started to become friends with her). Anyway..things weren't going so great for them for the last few months..it was practically like they weren't even dating..and I felt incredibly guilty for liking her so much while they were going out..

Javi

Javi

Viciously, Deliriously, Disgustingly Pleasant

The things that have not made sense...that I've known for a long time now...but seem perfectly clear right now.   First: I hate him. Not for anything he did to me, but for what he said about her, and for what it made her do to herself. And I wish I could make her see what a terrible person he really is, but I don't know how. I also remembered that I'm not him...for everything we both are, I'm not him. He hates kids..and in that, I can never be him.   Second: I love her. I don't know why, and s

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Javi

Sao Paolo

Things will never be the same, she took the blame and took it out on herself - and I will never forgive you for that.   Anyway...I got ungrounded, since my PE teacher very kindly allowed us to take a few of the tests that we hadn't finished..my grade went up to a B..and, as promised, I was ungrounded, although my social activity is still gonna be limited until after end-of-course assessments.

Javi

Javi

Failing Gym..

..and I got grounded for it. =/   It's a health/PE class, and we were on the health bit. We had open-book tests to take on our school's website - twenty-eight of them, I think, and a good five or six weeks to take them. I was doing really good with keeping up with it..but then there was that..and I spent most of the class talking to my best friend's girlfriend/one of my best friends...and by the time the last week before break rolled around, I quite simply did not want to work. So I figured I'd

Javi

Javi

So, Uh..

I don't know why I'm bothering to write this, since anyone who might have happened to read my blog has probably stopped checking. But eh.   Firstly: I never asked out that girl. At first because I was too nervous, and then later because I've been having feelings for someone else lately (only I can't have feelings for her). In any case, I blew it.   Second: The past month and a half has been terrible. And it's also been incredible. If there's one thing it's always been, though, it's busy..I wi

Javi

Javi

As I Understand It

In the event that my ridiculous amount of blog posts on the subject has not made it clear, here is the situation as I understand it:   - For whatever reason, she does not talk to me. And as soon as band is over, she will probably continue not talking to me unless I attempt to do something tonight. At least if I ask her out and she says no, I might be able to get a just friends and move on. Either way, she's really cool, and I'd like to be able to talk to her.   - I have no more time to procra

Javi

Javi

Things That I Believe Have To Come To An End

And that's how the world began...and that's how the world will end.  Unsurprisingly, I didn't ask her out. I didn't even try. I've decided that it's time to give up...as incredibly sweet, cute, funny, and lovable as she is, I can't bring myself to ask her out. She never responds to text messages (something I do kind of understand). But she also never talks to me unless she needs to ask something band-related, and she never makes eye contact. I actually turned around one time tonight and caught

Javi

Javi

The Good Society

Click I was rather proud of that at the time..I don't know exactly when the idea came to mind, but I really wanted to draw a mouse holding a balloon. Just got around to it yesterday. Drew it on paper, traced it and did all the shading and things in Adobe Flash. I'm not exactly sure what the "good society" is - I think it's something about society being able to achieve everything to the fullest of everyone's ability. Sounded like an interesting subject, anyway, so I named a song I wrote th

Javi

Javi

Three-legged Squirrel

I was talking to a close (girl) friend of mine, who reluctantly told me that I came up in a discussion between her and the girl I like. Apparently, she (the girl I like) compared me to a three-legged squirrel. "Interesting, but you feel bad for it at the same time". Apparently due to the fact that I look depressed all the time - something I didn't even realize..   I kind of find it funny, anyway. Though I don't know if I should be insulted or think something of it. Sounds more like something I

Javi

Javi

Things Are Looking Up

Well, not really. But I at least feel a little better than I have been lately.   Hung out with my friend's girlfriend and her friend on Saturday (my friend couldn't make it, so it was kinda weird). Still had a lot of fun, though. Definitely made me feel better than I had been.   Went over to another friend's house on Halloween. We supervised a bunch of little kids trick-or-treating, and then we spent the rest of the night wandering around the neighborhood talking.   I made up my mind to ask

Javi

Javi

Same Old Same Old Same Old Same Old Same Old Same...

Tired.  Guilty.  Paranoid.  Depressed.  Same old same old same old same..  I firmly believe that nothing ever changes, and everything repeats itself. Because this feels all too familiar. And two weeks from now, when she says no...I don't know how I'm going to deal with the miserable next three months.  Which will inevitably happen.  And there is simply nothing I can do that will make it otherwise.  Entry Song: Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths

Javi

Javi

Coming To A Close

Marching band is essentially over.   At some point over this season, I decided I liked it. Or that I wanted to give it a fair chance next year. And I think I'm gonna miss it, actually. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights...   The big problem is that this cuts me off from the girl I like, more or less. I need to really start talking to her as much as I can. Maybe start sitting with her at lunch...since she seems to not text all that much, I gotta f

Javi

Javi

Gotta Do Something! / Have An Enemy

..   have an enemy   For the most part, I'm okay with just about everyone - unless they do something to me, I don't really care/judge them. This kid hasn't really done much to me...I just really, really hate him. He's a narcissistic, egotistical, annoying #####. I hate everything about him - his appearance, voice, sense of humour, laugh...he completely disgusts me. (I don't hate him for no reason; he's always been nasty to me and I resent him for it.)   And I overheard him say that he likes the

Javi

Javi

Things Go

Haven't really made any progress...if anything, I've been talking to her less, which sucks. I think the problem is that she has an annoying habit for almost never remembering to bring her phone anywhere. So if I wanna talk to her, I gotta happen to text her at home...I need to just start hanging out with her a bit. it'd be much easier. She's so fun to talk to..   Also, sorry to everyone who's had pending trades for...probably a month now. -.- I'm desperately trying to not be lazy and get this

Javi

Javi

You Don't Know How Lovely You Are

Hate Coldplay all you want...The Scientist is still a beautiful song.   I don't understand my bouts of depression. It's not like anything's really happened, or changed, or maybe that's the problem. I don't really know...all I really want to do is curl up in bed and hope I don't ever have to wake up. I wish I could cry, but I don't seem to be capable of it anymore.   I think maybe I did this to myself...I haven't been like this in almost a year, and just this week it's been coming back...things

Javi

Javi

But I Don't Hate Myself Quite As Much Today

I asked her for her number tonight...she said she didn't have her phone on her (she doesn't know her number ), but to leave a note with my number on it in her locker. Which is a good thing, I guess, only that means she's got my number and I don't have hers, so it's really her decision if she even wants to talk to me..   Well, at least she hasn't avoided/rejected me at all. Which hopefully is a good thing, too. She'd have to be stupid not to realize I like her, though...my senior friend made it

Javi

Javi

I Really Hate Myself Some Days

-.-   I was talking to one of the few friends I made in marching band today...he mentioned that he was gonna ask a girl out. So I felt like I was obliged to tell him who I liked. He asked me if I would be mad if he just went up to her and said "Nick has a question for you" (of course I would be). And a couple seconds after that, she walked up and of course he says that I have something to ask her..and I had absolutely no clue what to say. "Oh hey, can I have your number?" That's not weird at al

Javi

Javi

For I Loved You Once ... Didn't I?

I went to an amusement park today with a group of friends...it was fun. It was me, my friend, his girlfriend, her friend, and a couple other friends of mine and his. It was all Halloween themed - lots of people jumping out at you in creepy costumes. Not all that scary, but still fun.   But, as seems to be custom for me whenever I do something social that's any fun at all, I got depressed almost right after. I was in a car with just me and then my friend and his girlfriend...she fell asleep rest

Javi

Javi

Small Problem (and A Haircut)

I only have 25GB of free space on my computer. -.- I think the big problem is the 106.06GBs of TV shows that I can't bring myself to delete...   External hard drive time!   --   Due to the fact that I had to put my curly...afro thing up in four pigtails on Friday to fit it in the marching band hat, I cut my hair short. I like it a lot better, actually. Every girl I've talked to said it looks cute, and that's all that matters to me. I had one dude who said I look like Shia LaBeouf. Which I g

Javi

Javi

I Hate These People

I can't take band anymore.   There's a few really great people, but then there are so many others that are just outright annoying. I don't like marching band at all. I'm in it because I was too scared to tell my mom that I didn't wanna do it.   STRIKE ONE - I got to Tuesday's band practice at 5:55. You need to be out on the field by 6:15. I get a "hurry up, you're gonna be late!"...mind your own business. It's really not your problem that I couldn't make it any earlier than that.   STRIKE TW

Javi

Javi

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