My minivan has a one-in-eight chance of being involved in an accident!

Well, except I don't own one.

But it still has a one-in-eight chance of having an accident!

A staff member was viewing my profile.

I probably shouldn't have hacked my own account...

Indiscreetly counterfeited in the exact likeness of such yarn added to the reviews concerning the most recent set of musings in the collection of Sumiki's thoughts:

Sumiki, alas, at the tenebrous hour, did find it unwise to permit himself to absolve memory of his most secure verbal key. For it was the key that granted that great gift of trust, of solicitude, of frankness and honesty, of earnesty. That verbal key, so sophiscated, so beautifully crafted, so as to permit access into that matrix of creativity, that wondrous machine, electrically connected to many other such devices, in a technological display of utmost intellgence, the magnum opus of the homosapien creaturekind.

In his cerebral lapse, the aforementioned knowledge of the unlocking element did vanish, yet foreseeing this event he had the prudence, or perhaps foolishness, though nary shall it be discerned by mortal reason as to which of those two, that he allowed such vital information to pass into the claws of one Lhikevikk. Lhikevikk, that eccentric acquaintance, whose nome de plume doth haunt the minds of those who search out the magnum opus of the homosapien creaturekind. For it was that bizarre entity who seized upon such knowledge, and took it upon himself to exert that power for his own demented purposes.

At the centre of the nocturnal timeframe, half past into an an even more tenebrous hour, the being awaited the cerebral lapse of self-awareness prophesied by the unfortunate comrade of his. His organs of vision shifted asynchronously, searching out the vicinity for potential risk of testimony, of evidence circumstancial, anecdotal and empirical. Silently, he stalked forward, his visual organs bejeweled with contemplation of the sensational act of limited sanity he was preparing himself to execute. Locking his sight onto the luminous surface, radiating the knowledge of that matrix of creativity, he set his digits to execise the power bestowed on him by his oblivious accomplice. Appliying pressure to the lettered quadraliterals on the device below te luminous surface, he typographically inputted the knowledge so bestowed on him, of that complex verbal key designed as a countersign of trust, so that the wondrous machine would be deceived, believing erroneously that its faithful comrade Sumiki was requesting its services.

His act of trickery complete, he began to seek out the information locked inside the wondrous machine. Most fortuitously, he happened upon a certain arrangment of the miniscule points of colour on the luminous surface, the arrangement being that which detailed the musings of its proper owner. Reaching out for the control device, zoologically named, he shifted its location, so that a small irregular figure, displayed on the luminous surface, might alter its own position to that of rectangular shape marked in modern script with words detailing a command to create a new collection of thoughts to be displayed on that list of collections which rightfully displayed those of Sumiki. Applying pressure to the upper left corner of the zoologically named control device, the luminous surface transformed in response to a different display, this one requesting the typographical input of a new collection of thoughts. Returning to the lettered quadraliterals below, he concocted a vichyssoise of verbiage that could only come from such a perturbed mind as his, bearing little rational congruance and being most incoherent.

His act of madness complete, Lhikevikk, returned to the unconscious Sumiki. Being wary so as not to disturb his slumber, he discreetly related a ficticious account of how it was Sumiki who had written such a raving. Escaping surreptitously, Lhikevikk left Sumiki in the utterly incorrect notion that it was himself who hath typographically inputted such nonsense.

...

what the heck did i just write

GUYS.

 

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TYPE SOMETHING I PREVIOUSLY TYPED.

 

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TYPE SOMETHING I MIGHT HAVE TYPED SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE.

 

RAAAAAAAAAAAEG.

 

-

Best one so far, though I wouldn't use so much cpas lock.

Has anyone else ever noticed how ridiculous those signs on low-hanging door frames are? "Watch Your Head", they order. But it's a physical impossibility! You can't really watch your head, based on the placement of your eyes (technically, you can watch your eyelids, which are a part of your head, but I don't count that).

And even if you COULD watch your head, what help would that be? Okay, so I see a low-hanging door frame ahead. I intently watch my head, because the sign tells me to. Dum de dum de doo, okay, I should be - *bonk* OW! What help was THAT?!

So really, these signs should just read "Beware the Low-Hanging Door Frame". But I guess that's not really catchy. :/

...I think I actually would write that.

Yes, that was the idea. XD