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Mass Defect 7: A Wedding and a Funeral?


Janus

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blog-0689469001359442791.jpgBeing that last entry was totally non-canon and didn't count at all (what, did you actually think it was that easy to get the bad end? NO) let's move on with the amazing adventures of Commander Wenglestum Sparklepants Shepard

 

After a moment of thinking, Wenglestum has perfect clarity of thought and responds to the Doctor, explaining quite clearly what her job is, and how soldiers get hurt because of reasons. She naturally snaps at him and gets all upset. Jeese, how rude?

i_dont.jpg

It's then that Wenglestum looks into Jenkins face and suddenly he can't control himself anymore. The secrets, the lies--it's all too much. What he feels must be public and to heck with the consequences! With sweaty palms Wenglestum bends down to pop the question....

 

 

...and promptly gets dragged into the Captain's office by some Turian Spectre thing. JEESE DOESN'T ANYONE BELIEVE IN ROMANCE ANYMORE?

 

Anyhow the Spectre proceeds to blab on about how the mission isn't really just boring stuff, but maybe exciting stuff will also happen, and then without warning the Captain appears in his quarters (What are the odds???) and explains that it's even BETTER, Wenglestum himself is under review for Spectre status himself! He supposes he'll let the whole yanking-away-from-his-fiance slide this time--I mean he might get the power to do whatever he wants! One could almost say he would get to skirt the rules--perhaps because of his money!

 

But suddenly Wenglestum is snapped out of his reverie, as the navigator patches through a feed from Eden Prime (the planet they were going to visit I guess?) and lots of people are dying. Wenglestum also has to suppress a giggle at what seems to be a soldier dressed in white and pink armor? I mean, how Gauche!

 

Shortly later Kaidan and Jenkins are on the surface of Eden Prime--and it has certainly seen better days. They wander around for a bit (because seriously, Wenglestum's sense of direction is terrible. There's a reason he's not the navigator of the Normandy--and also why people don't let him drive the Normandy) before Jenkins lets his PASSION get the best of him and runs ahead of the rest of the team--and is cruelly cut down in his prime.

 

Wenglestum stops for a moment, his entire world ending as he watches his fiance fall under a hail of bullets. Full of rage and sadness he shoots the floating robot things before running over to inspect the body of his beloved. It's time to make a choice--the entire mission is counting on him.

 

 

1. He deserves a burial - It was Wenglestum's fiance for heaven's sake--he at least deserves that much, right?

2. We can't help him now - The cold hard reality is that they're in the middle of an active war zone, and as much as he meant, he's done.

3. Forget about him - Wenglestum can't deal with what just happened. He has to rationalize the damage that's been done to his life and treat him like any other soldier.

 

"Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn"

"WIN A FREE TRIP TO TAHITI" (We won, we won, we won!)

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