...and Star Trek Colon Into Darkness becomes a much better movie. Why?

1.

 

My crew is my family, Kirk. Is there anything that you would not do for your family?

That's the Captain speaking, right there.

2.

"Khan" was basically the hero anyway - he exposed a corrupt, war-mongering admiral, went toe-to-toe with the Federation to save his friends, and got shot in the back by Kirk and Scotty. Keep Burgerking Custardbath in the role, and it's just Sherlock Goes to Space with thirty minutes of desperately scrambling to make him the villain at the end.

Swap Mal in, and it's just another day at the office.

3.

[All glory to the greatest webcomic on Earth. Fan poster by offsite artist deino-erd.]