Last week I went out with my family to an expensive restaurant. And I mean, high-class steakhouse expensive. This was because my great-uncle apparently likes expensive stuff and got us a gift card to an expensive place.

Here's the thing about my family: we don't fit in anywhere. Except maybe on a remote hiking trail or a camping site somewhere. And the thing about those places is that they are sparsely populated.

It's telling that we showed up to said resturant looking like we belonged there, all wearing T-shirts and jeans. We were still served anyway (I guess that it wasn't that fancy) by some guy with a mustache and a shirt and tie. We refused the adult beverages everyone else was drinking in favor of water, since we all don't drink. (I would have ordered a Sprite, but my parents would have bitten my head off if I did.)

And we had no idea what to order.

I ended up ordering Prime Rib since some pastor-guy had told me a story about how he had ended up eating it three times on three consecutive first-class flights home after his flight home got delayed in a big snafu. This is totally a valid reason to order Prime Rib.

I did not tell the mustached waiter about this reason. This was probably a good idea.

He asked me if I wanted horseradish. I had no idea what it was, so I said yes and put it on the side, thanks, in case it was horrible.

Then my family got out the Uno cards and started playing. We're in a fancy restaurant, being served prime rib, and we're playing Uno. And the waiter was really fast and kept interrupting us in the middle of our hand to bring us actual food.

The prime rib was quite good. I do, in fact, like horseradish. It came with salad, and some potatoes au gratin, which means loaded with life-shortening cream and cheese.

It cost like $30.00.

After I got home, my digestive system decided it was not a fan of it as much of my taste buds are. I think it was the horseradish.

I would have been happier, I decided, with a reasonably loaded ham-and-cheese sandwich from one of my favorite restaurants, and a bottle of Sprite.

Cost: $10.00.

It appears that I do not have an expensive taste in food.

I'm wondering how that may affect the rest of my life.