They have taken my signature to a far away land of pure evil! There, my signature will burn like an ice-cream sundae in a firey storm of potato salad.

You heard me.

Where has my signature really gone, you ask? Nobody knows for sure, but scientists believe it to be some sort of.... Alternate reality. In said reality, time doesn't matter. By Tuesday it will be Thursday, by Wednesday it will be August, and by Thursday it will be the end of time as we know it.

For that universe. Don't worry, we're safe.