As I was pacing around the kitchen, eating crackers and wondering how to eat my orange without biting the peel, it suddenly occurred to me that I'm not a boy. As I pondered that thought, I also wondered what a day might be like for someone of the same height, age, and personality as me, but of the opposite gender. Then I scrapped the idea of the personality and height. So, let's go with a life in the day of some unfortunate fifteen-year-old boy...

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Well, this morning I, you know, woke myself up, which is kinda what I always do. I mean, I always wake up in the mornings, and if I didn't, I'd probably get up in the, like, afternoon or something. So I went downstairs and had a pop-tart and vowed never to write my homework on one unless I was desperate for the dog to eat my homework. Since I don't have a dog, I decided I'd better teach my cat to eat pop-tarts right away. Two minutes later, I slapped on some bandages and went outside.

So, I was outside wandering around when this reeeeeally cute girl walked by. I mean, she had four pairs of glasses and this short hair all on one side with purple streaks, and I immediately knew this was the girl I was destined to marry. The rest were all false alarms. So anyways, I shoved my way past the big guy standing next to her and looked up at her and asked, "Hi, want to eat a pop-tart with me or something?"

The big guy standing next to me looked kind of mad, so I told him, "Hey, chill, I'm just talking to your sister. Don't you want her to have any friends?"

Well, I guess I didn't see the frying pan in the girl's hand when I walked up to her, but I did see it right before it nearly hit me in the head. So I told her to be careful with it, because she doesn't want to hurt someone. Then her brother told me to go eat a pop-tart, and I realized I was hungry and thanked him for reminding me, then went inside and ate pop-tarts while I played on the Wii. And then someone told me I should go to bed because it was 3 AM, and then I looked at the clock and saw, hey, they were right! And since I'd been up so late already and wasn't very tired, I got some more pop-tarts and ate them all, and since they were gone I had some cereal, and then I played Lego Star Wars 2 on the X-box. And then the sun was rising, so I went to eat some pop-tarts for breakfast, but there weren't any, so I decided to go outside to see if that cute girl and her brother would walk by again. But they didn't, so I went inside to take a nap.

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Turakii