Ah, there we go. Sorry for the inconvenience, but my premier membership expired. I bought lifetime premier membership, so now I can update again.

First of all... I had no internet for more than a day. Just like a lot of other people in my country, thanks to some kind of problem. It was so annoying.

Eh, it's not really what's on my mind, though..

What is on my mind, is something else.

To be honest, I feel like crud. I should feel good. I should feel better than good.

I have a nagging feeling that everything I've been working and fighting for, might be for nothing. I'm talking about love, of course. I do not know what to do. Continue my (possibly lifelong) search for her love? Or do nothing and feel myself wither away like a dying plant? I feel like I can't continue on without letting everyone know how I feel.

Sometimes it feels like I'm living in a fantasy world where everything seems so unreal. Everything appears as if it's within a hand's reach. And when I try to finally take the next step, everything comes crashing down onto my heart.

I will not let myself become the end of me, though. I just hope time will tell me what to do next. And I can only hope that in the end, things will go as they should.

Please let me know what's on your mind about this.