I can open a pickle jar.

 

I can also rip open the temporal fabric of this world, resulting in a universe-wide disaster were easily 40% of all living things will be killed, 55% will be horrible rabid and mutated, and the 5% percent of people left will have to fend for ourselves.

 

Interested?

Sounds like you're a video game designer who works on those cliche zombie-apocalypse games.

 

And actually, if the temporal fabric was torn... well, we have no clue what would happen. It'd probably involve paradoxes. Lots and lots of paradoxes. The temporal corruption might spread out from the anomaly point, and corrupt the whole universe, or it might be instantaneous, depending on any available temporal paradoxes looping through temporality. Or it may not move anywhere, and be isolated to a single anomaly at the point of creation... Or elsewhere, should the spacial plane be damaged. And as for what the corrupted universe would be like is unknown as well. No one knows what happens when you create a paradox. And don't count on any TV show to be accurate. XD

 

I can hold a realistic discussion on temporal physics. Do you like that?

 

...Your cleaning up my brains that just splattered on the wall.

I apologize; I do have the tendency to cause that to happen an unusually large amount of times.

 

And I'm noticing some inaccuracies in what I stated; When I said, "No one knows what happens when you create a paradox," I didn't actually go and check to see if there has been a recent, dominant theory regarding the physics of temporal paradoxes which would define their behavior, but I can only expect so much knowledge when we haven't actually created one. Or, at least, I'm not aware that anyone has created one, and I tend to know more about science progression than the average member of the population does. However, if one had been created, I'd expect it to be much more obvious than something able to be kept secret, as how would you actually keep people from knowing about a flaw in the universe? And it would have to be kept as secret as possible, as knowledge about temporal paradoxial physics would be an incredible breakthrough in science; and the obvious lack of knowledge thereof in more easily reachable science knowledge repositories leads to the conclusion that temporal paradoxial physics knowledge is currently unknown. Naturally, the paradox could be something completely unexpected (by me, at least), and possibly be easily manipulatable (or, at least, small), or something else entirely; and that could make the knowledge easily secret-able. Thus, the actual result of a tear in temporal fabric would be known (should someone or some group be able to obtain knowledge from studying the paradox) by some (those with the proper top-secret credentials to be allowed to know about the temporal anomaly), but not us, so we can not come to a physics-law-defined conclusion as to what said temporal fabric tear would create, destroy, or whatever else.

 

Please note, I am not a certified expert on these matters; I just know a lot.

 

I also apologize in advance for any more exploded brains that this causes.

*brain explosion*

 

and I can't open a pickle jar.

Not anymore, you can't.

~

I can open a pickle jar.

 

I can also rip open the temporal fabric of this world, resulting in a universe-wide disaster were easily 40% of all living things will be killed, 55% will be horrible rabid and mutated, and the 5% percent of people left will have to fend for ourselves.

 

Interested?

Sounds like you're a video game designer who works on those cliche zombie-apocalypse games.

 

And actually, if the temporal fabric was torn... well, we have no clue what would happen. It'd probably involve paradoxes. Lots and lots of paradoxes. The temporal corruption might spread out from the anomaly point, and corrupt the whole universe, or it might be instantaneous, depending on any available temporal paradoxes looping through temporality. Or it may not move anywhere, and be isolated to a single anomaly at the point of creation... Or elsewhere, should the spacial plane be damaged. And as for what the corrupted universe would be like is unknown as well. No one knows what happens when you create a paradox. And don't count on any TV show to be accurate. XD

 

I can hold a realistic discussion on temporal physics. Do you like that?

 

...Your cleaning up my brains that just splattered on the wall.

I apologize; I do have the tendency to cause that to happen an unusually large amount of times.

 

And I'm noticing some inaccuracies in what I stated; When I said, "No one knows what happens when you create a paradox," I didn't actually go and check to see if there has been a recent, dominant theory regarding the physics of temporal paradoxes which would define their behavior, but I can only expect so much knowledge when we haven't actually created one. Or, at least, I'm not aware that anyone has created one, and I tend to know more about science progression than the average member of the population does. However, if one had been created, I'd expect it to be much more obvious than something able to be kept secret, as how would you actually keep people from knowing about a flaw in the universe? And it would have to be kept as secret as possible, as knowledge about temporal paradoxial physics would be an incredible breakthrough in science; and the obvious lack of knowledge thereof in more easily reachable science knowledge repositories leads to the conclusion that temporal paradoxial physics knowledge is currently unknown. Naturally, the paradox could be something completely unexpected (by me, at least), and possibly be easily manipulatable (or, at least, small), or something else entirely; and that could make the knowledge easily secret-able. Thus, the actual result of a tear in temporal fabric would be known (should someone or some group be able to obtain knowledge from studying the paradox) by some (those with the proper top-secret credentials to be allowed to know about the temporal anomaly), but not us, so we can not come to a physics-law-defined conclusion as to what said temporal fabric tear would create, destroy, or whatever else.

 

Please note, I am not a certified expert on these matters; I just know a lot.

 

I also apologize in advance for any more exploded brains that this causes.

*brain explosion*

 

and I can't open a pickle jar.

Feel free to talk as much as you want now. Every part of my body that could explode just did.

I can open a pickle jar.

 

I can also rip open the temporal fabric of this world, resulting in a universe-wide disaster were easily 40% of all living things will be killed, 55% will be horrible rabid and mutated, and the 5% percent of people left will have to fend for ourselves.

 

Interested?

Sounds like you're a video game designer who works on those cliche zombie-apocalypse games.

 

And actually, if the temporal fabric was torn... well, we have no clue what would happen. It'd probably involve paradoxes. Lots and lots of paradoxes. The temporal corruption might spread out from the anomaly point, and corrupt the whole universe, or it might be instantaneous, depending on any available temporal paradoxes looping through temporality. Or it may not move anywhere, and be isolated to a single anomaly at the point of creation... Or elsewhere, should the spacial plane be damaged. And as for what the corrupted universe would be like is unknown as well. No one knows what happens when you create a paradox. And don't count on any TV show to be accurate. XD

 

I can hold a realistic discussion on temporal physics. Do you like that?

 

...Your cleaning up my brains that just splattered on the wall.

I apologize; I do have the tendency to cause that to happen an unusually large amount of times.

 

And I'm noticing some inaccuracies in what I stated; When I said, "No one knows what happens when you create a paradox," I didn't actually go and check to see if there has been a recent, dominant theory regarding the physics of temporal paradoxes which would define their behavior, but I can only expect so much knowledge when we haven't actually created one. Or, at least, I'm not aware that anyone has created one, and I tend to know more about science progression than the average member of the population does. However, if one had been created, I'd expect it to be much more obvious than something able to be kept secret, as how would you actually keep people from knowing about a flaw in the universe? And it would have to be kept as secret as possible, as knowledge about temporal paradoxial physics would be an incredible breakthrough in science; and the obvious lack of knowledge thereof in more easily reachable science knowledge repositories leads to the conclusion that temporal paradoxial physics knowledge is currently unknown. Naturally, the paradox could be something completely unexpected (by me, at least), and possibly be easily manipulatable (or, at least, small), or something else entirely; and that could make the knowledge easily secret-able. Thus, the actual result of a tear in temporal fabric would be known (should someone or some group be able to obtain knowledge from studying the paradox) by some (those with the proper top-secret credentials to be allowed to know about the temporal anomaly), but not us, so we can not come to a physics-law-defined conclusion as to what said temporal fabric tear would create, destroy, or whatever else.

 

Please note, I am not a certified expert on these matters; I just know a lot.

 

I also apologize in advance for any more exploded brains that this causes.

*brain explosion*

 

and I can't open a pickle jar.

 

Feel free to talk as much as you want now. Every part of my body that could explode just did.

I'm assuming that means there aren't any remaining contiguous atoms from your body in existence. Generally, when someone is made of verbally-triggerable combustible organic materials, it composes all of their body, leading to, at maximum, total annihilation. Thus, you would be mentally communic...

Oh, never mind; before I demolish the server! XD

I can open a pickle jar.

 

I can also rip open the temporal fabric of this world, resulting in a universe-wide disaster were easily 40% of all living things will be killed, 55% will be horrible rabid and mutated, and the 5% percent of people left will have to fend for ourselves.

 

Interested?

Sounds like you're a video game designer who works on those cliche zombie-apocalypse games.

 

And actually, if the temporal fabric was torn... well, we have no clue what would happen. It'd probably involve paradoxes. Lots and lots of paradoxes. The temporal corruption might spread out from the anomaly point, and corrupt the whole universe, or it might be instantaneous, depending on any available temporal paradoxes looping through temporality. Or it may not move anywhere, and be isolated to a single anomaly at the point of creation... Or elsewhere, should the spacial plane be damaged. And as for what the corrupted universe would be like is unknown as well. No one knows what happens when you create a paradox. And don't count on any TV show to be accurate. XD

 

I can hold a realistic discussion on temporal physics. Do you like that?

 

...Your cleaning up my brains that just splattered on the wall.

I apologize; I do have the tendency to cause that to happen an unusually large amount of times.

 

And I'm noticing some inaccuracies in what I stated; When I said, "No one knows what happens when you create a paradox," I didn't actually go and check to see if there has been a recent, dominant theory regarding the physics of temporal paradoxes which would define their behavior, but I can only expect so much knowledge when we haven't actually created one. Or, at least, I'm not aware that anyone has created one, and I tend to know more about science progression than the average member of the population does. However, if one had been created, I'd expect it to be much more obvious than something able to be kept secret, as how would you actually keep people from knowing about a flaw in the universe? And it would have to be kept as secret as possible, as knowledge about temporal paradoxial physics would be an incredible breakthrough in science; and the obvious lack of knowledge thereof in more easily reachable science knowledge repositories leads to the conclusion that temporal paradoxial physics knowledge is currently unknown. Naturally, the paradox could be something completely unexpected (by me, at least), and possibly be easily manipulatable (or, at least, small), or something else entirely; and that could make the knowledge easily secret-able. Thus, the actual result of a tear in temporal fabric would be known (should someone or some group be able to obtain knowledge from studying the paradox) by some (those with the proper top-secret credentials to be allowed to know about the temporal anomaly), but not us, so we can not come to a physics-law-defined conclusion as to what said temporal fabric tear would create, destroy, or whatever else.

 

Please note, I am not a certified expert on these matters; I just know a lot.

 

I also apologize in advance for any more exploded brains that this causes.

*brain explosion*

 

and I can't open a pickle jar.

 

Feel free to talk as much as you want now. Every part of my body that could explode just did.

I'm assuming that means there aren't any remaining contiguous atoms from your body in existence. Generally, when someone is made of verbally-triggerable combustible organic materials, it composes all of their body, leading to, at maximum, total annihilation. Thus, you would be mentally communic...

 

Oh, never mind; before I demolish the server! XD

Wait, whose brain exploded? It just said, "brain explosion", so it could be anyone. It's probably the server. It has a weak brain. Now we're all doomed.

I can open a pickle jar.

 

I can also rip open the temporal fabric of this world, resulting in a universe-wide disaster were easily 40% of all living things will be killed, 55% will be horrible rabid and mutated, and the 5% percent of people left will have to fend for ourselves.

 

Interested?

Sounds like you're a video game designer who works on those cliche zombie-apocalypse games.

 

And actually, if the temporal fabric was torn... well, we have no clue what would happen. It'd probably involve paradoxes. Lots and lots of paradoxes. The temporal corruption might spread out from the anomaly point, and corrupt the whole universe, or it might be instantaneous, depending on any available temporal paradoxes looping through temporality. Or it may not move anywhere, and be isolated to a single anomaly at the point of creation... Or elsewhere, should the spacial plane be damaged. And as for what the corrupted universe would be like is unknown as well. No one knows what happens when you create a paradox. And don't count on any TV show to be accurate. XD

 

I can hold a realistic discussion on temporal physics. Do you like that?

 

...Your cleaning up my brains that just splattered on the wall.

I apologize; I do have the tendency to cause that to happen an unusually large amount of times.

 

And I'm noticing some inaccuracies in what I stated; When I said, "No one knows what happens when you create a paradox," I didn't actually go and check to see if there has been a recent, dominant theory regarding the physics of temporal paradoxes which would define their behavior, but I can only expect so much knowledge when we haven't actually created one. Or, at least, I'm not aware that anyone has created one, and I tend to know more about science progression than the average member of the population does. However, if one had been created, I'd expect it to be much more obvious than something able to be kept secret, as how would you actually keep people from knowing about a flaw in the universe? And it would have to be kept as secret as possible, as knowledge about temporal paradoxial physics would be an incredible breakthrough in science; and the obvious lack of knowledge thereof in more easily reachable science knowledge repositories leads to the conclusion that temporal paradoxial physics knowledge is currently unknown. Naturally, the paradox could be something completely unexpected (by me, at least), and possibly be easily manipulatable (or, at least, small), or something else entirely; and that could make the knowledge easily secret-able. Thus, the actual result of a tear in temporal fabric would be known (should someone or some group be able to obtain knowledge from studying the paradox) by some (those with the proper top-secret credentials to be allowed to know about the temporal anomaly), but not us, so we can not come to a physics-law-defined conclusion as to what said temporal fabric tear would create, destroy, or whatever else.

 

Please note, I am not a certified expert on these matters; I just know a lot.

 

I also apologize in advance for any more exploded brains that this causes.

*brain explosion*

 

and I can't open a pickle jar.

 

Feel free to talk as much as you want now. Every part of my body that could explode just did.

I'm assuming that means there aren't any remaining contiguous atoms from your body in existence. Generally, when someone is made of verbally-triggerable combustible organic materials, it composes all of their body, leading to, at maximum, total annihilation. Thus, you would be mentally communic...

 

Oh, never mind; before I demolish the server! XD

I can cook Thornax stew

~Terakk