I See Dead Batteries...
Entry posted by Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
623 views
Allow me to begin this entry on a reasonably sane note:
Ninja snowflakes fighting crazy moldy socks.
That over, let's get on to the point.
There is a plague spreading about the forum. A terrible, multi-colored plague. It's unbelievably contagious, and although not deadly, it can take weeks to sufficiently recover.
The name of this plague?
Ellipses.
Shocking, yes, and certainly not what you were expecting---but true. Look around you. How many members do you see using these regularly, in random places, as though it is normal? None of them, none of them suspect they have fallen victim to the forum's most terrible virus, and none of them know the worst part...there's almost not-quite but still possibly a slight chance and yet practically...no cure!
Only time can help. Time, and, if you're lucky, a top-notch human-sized Vahi. Unfortunately, it turns out these are very, very rare and almost impossible to get for under a very large amount of money.
So, what can you do to prevent from falling to this terrible, dreaded disease?
'Tis simple. First, disable your personal messenger. If you must, and must, reply to a topic, use as few words as possible, and make sure nobody can reply to you. For otherwise, you may find yourself drawn into a conversation with another member...and then, too late, realize they themselves have the sickness.
If it's possible for you at this time, shut off your internet, crawl under your bed, block out the light with your slippers, and remain for as long as you can without fainting from starvation. Speak nary a word to anyone.
It's little precautions like this that can save your life.
Turakii
P.S. Some question why I, multiple times, mentioned other members, but never myself. That is quite a good question, and certainly one worth considering answering. Allow me to explain by way of an interpretive dance...
28 Comments
Recommended Comments