*Kidnaps Yoda from Traku's room.*

For today's blog entry, we made the decision to ask our dear little green friend Yoda a few questions, and then hold him for ransom. Now, don't confuse our local Jedi master with the other short, green guy who speaks rather oddly: Turaga Matau. Although treespeak and "try there is no" may sound, at first, like the same gibberish language, allow me to assure you that the two of them use completely different dialects.

Before we begin, allow me to warn you that Yoda is only capable of answering yes or no questions, due to a very unfortunate and nearly impossible accident he had a few days ago involving a Toa Nuparu set, a high silk hat, and a teabag. (However, he has firmly stated he does not want us to reveal any more about that incident at this time.) The only answers he can give are "yes," "no," "it will be," "try not do," "be wary," "hard to see," "maybe," and "ask later."

Here is the little green one himself:

Now, few may know this, but the bottom of Yoda's chair holds a secret compartment, from which responses may by transferred by way of a mind-link to a small cube floating inside the chair's interior. To read this requires shaking Mr. Yoda's chair (and of course, Yoda himself) upside-down in a most undignified manner, but we are quite certain he does not mind at all.

Now, on to the interview!

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First question: Mr. Yoda, would you ever consider becoming a member of BZPower? *Shakes Yoda.*

Yoda: It will be.

Why, that's amazing! When this happens, would your chosen username be "Yoda," by any chance?

Yoda: No.

Oh.

Yoda, is it true that your great aunt Myrtle betrayed your second cousin twice removed and took over the throne with the help of her evil assistant, Lance the Red-Eyed Turtle?

Yoda: It will be.

...

Are you angered, Yoda?

Yoda: Ask later.

Uhh...

Would you prefer me, and everyone reading this interview, to call you "oh great and mighty Yoda of whom I am not worthy of asking these miniscule questions"?

Yoda: Hard to see.

Is plain "Yoda" okay?

Yoda: Yes.

Speaking of vision, do you wear bifocals, Yoda? Off-camera, I mean.

Yoda: Ask later.

So...are you getting tired, Mr. Yoda?

Yoda: Ask later.

Only a few more questions, and then we're through. First, can you see the future, Yoda?

Yoda: Maybe.

Are you getting tired of these questions...yet?

Yoda: Try not do.

So, Mr. Yoda...uh, did you enjoy this interview?

Yoda: Hard to see.

Which brings me back to me earlier question...do you wear bifocals?

Yoda: No.

Would you like to be featured in future interviews?

Yoda: Be wary.

Should I take that as a no?

Yoda: No.

Do you think I should find something else to do now, Master Yoda?

Yoda: No.

That's okay, it's not like I had anything else to do anyways...Mr. Yoda, would you like to answer other BZPers' questions?

Yoda: It will be.

Is it true that you and Turaga Matau both understand each other's languages?

Yoda: No.

Have you ever played Lego Star Wars 2?

Yoda: Ask later.

A personal question: Are you really green?

Yoda: No.

Really!? What color are you, then? Red?

Yoda: No.

Blue?

Yoda: It will be.

So you're cold, are you?

Yoda: No.

Ooh, ooh! One more question. Have you ever used ellipses?

Yoda: Try not do.

You mean, we shouldn't use them?

Yoda: Ask later.

...

...

You mean, we shouldn't use them?

Yoda: Ask later.

...

...

Do you mean, we shouldn't use ellipses?

Yoda: It will be.

Did you know you're the most frustrating Star Wars toy in the world?

Yoda: It will be.

Could you just answer the question already?

Yoda: Ask later.

Do you want me to stop asking you questions now?

Yoda: No.

Do you want me to throw you against the wall, Oh Exasperating One?

Yoda: Ask later.

Can I do it now?

Yoda: Be wary.

How about now?

Yoda: Maybe.

Either give me a "yes" or a "no," or you will regret it.

Yoda: It will be---

*BONK!*

...

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was our interview with the Jedi Yoda. Every word is true to life and was really spoken by our little plastic (frustrating) green (annoying) wise (but still annoying) friend (not really).

Turakii

P.S. I tell you, it's the toys that are the worst.