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BionicleBean

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Blog Entries posted by BionicleBean

  1. BionicleBean

    more than meets the eye

    By BionicleBean,


    Bean Blog
    So, i'm not sure what to put here anymore (spoilers: it won't be another movie review) but i may as well talk about some things
    I'm Trans! (She/Her/Hers) It took me a few years to recognize it, but now i feel a lot happier than i used to- I feel like i'm the real me, for the first time in years.
    I had been talking with my friends for a while and they helped me realize who i am, and i couldn't have done it without them.
    i do intend to start HRT but the UK is pretty awful for this kind of thing lol, so i'm most likely gonna be waiting 5 years or so to just join the waiting list.
    Until then, i've been thinking of posting some more things here, getting the use of my BZP account yknow? I have a lot of Mocs i've yet to share with you all (i dare say my skills have improved a bit since i last frequented these boards) and i look forward to interacting with you all once more!
    -Bean
  2. BionicleBean
    It appears that BZP makes a triumphant return.
    So, what have i been doing over the past few days?
    Well, i was surprised by the emergence of a new trailer for Kirby And the Forgotten Land, and even more surprised by the release of a 3 level-long demo for the game. The demo shows off new features like "Mouthful Mode", which you either love or hate. (I love it) The game really reminds me of Kirby's Blowout Blast, most likely due to both games having B I G  K I R B Y
     
    (Also, both are 3d)
    I've also been preparing for another Ye Olde Not-So-Good Film Review. 
    Uh, wow, that entry was a lot shorter than i thought it'd be. Oh well! See ya later!
    -Heyzorks
  5. BionicleBean

    Some Stuff + Ben

    By BionicleBean,

    Evening, chaps. another Blog from me. so.... i have recently been playing Hollow Knight. it'll make you use your head for thinking on the spot to get out of tight situations, then it'll make you cry tears out of the eyes of that same head. so, i'm enjoying it!
    In other news....
     
    well recently i thought i'd try Stud io for the first time and made this little fella.

    Well, i made like 10 of him. his name's Ben.
     
    See ya!
    -Heyzorks
  6. BionicleBean

    New Year + Update

    By BionicleBean,

    Well, we lived through 2021. it was a good year, and a bad year. it had some good stuff, and some bad stuff. i hope 2022 will be just as good, if not better. also, 2022 sounds so futuristic, right? so. you are most likely wondering: What does this have to do with "Updates"? There is "update" in the title of this entry. Well, it's a bit of a life update. i'm not going to finish the Christmas Tree review. i'm sorry, i just don't think i can take it anymore. i paused the film at this moment and realized i might go crazy if i watched anymore of this.

    Yeah, this face sums up my thoughts on this film.
    Maybe i'll complete the review next Christmas. I will be focusing my attention towards reviewing other bad films, and more non-review content. so, all the best wishes for the new year.
    -Heyzorks
  7. BionicleBean
    ...why i am i still doing this? i could be having a Christmas party, or baking a cake, or posting something nice and helpful, or.....
    Ah, screw it. 
    The Christmas Tree is a 1991 animated film about a bunch of orphans: 

    who believe that a pine tree will grant them a family. 
    They live under the evil rule of Ms. Mavilda:

    Who hates them and stuff because she's evil. the film begins by explaining that every time the town's mayor donates to the orphanage, she takes the money and gambles it all away with her friends because she is a villain.

    Why does the mayor keep giving her this money? because she has some nice clothing which she puts on whichever children she's going to show off to the mayor, which convinces him that the kids have nice things and live pleasantly, then once he's left she puts the clothing back in the cupboard and leaves the kids back in their ragged clothes. the film then shows and says that a couple with two kids have moved to this town (which doesn't appear to be in any definable era, it has steam trains and but also neon lights.) in search of a better life. they go to the mayor of the town, who says that the father can work at the lumber mill if he lives in a boarding house without his children and wife while they go live at Mavilda's orphanage. How this is a "better" life is unclear. so they agree to this weird deal, and the wife (named Judy) and kids (a boy and a girl, Pappy and Lily respectively) go to the orphanage. Judy now works at the orphanage as Ms Mavilda's assistant .the children (Judy's)are made to sleep in the same room as the other orphans. .They befriend the other children.

    Yes, they do look like that. in fact, the movement of the characters reminds me of the Zelda CD-I animations. So the orphans and Judy make friends. they explain to her about the sacred tree, then they tell her about their dog (i forgot to mention they have a dog called licorice) then there is a montage of Judy building a swing and slide for the orphans near the tree (who is named Mrs. Hopewell for some reason.)  Ms Mavilda is infuriated at this and yells at Judy for this and then lets her off because she was doing all this after her working hours. another montage ensues showing Judy and the kids having fun around their sacred tree. The yet another montage happens and the narrator says that it's now Christmas time. So mayor gives Mavilda the money and tells her it's for the kids's Christmas presents. Judy is offered to help Mavilda choose something nice for the kids, but that means Mavilda won't get to spend all the money on gambling. So Judy goes upstairs to tell the kids about this money and such, while Mavilda calls her friends on the phone: "Hello? Frank? Mavilda. Do you feel lucky tonight? hahahaha evil laughter hahaha" Upstairs, Judy tells the kids all about Christmas because Ms Mavilda is apparently so cruel she doesn't even tell them about Christmas and it's various traditions. Mavilda is still gambling, and apparently failing to win anything. Judy tells the kids about Santa, and how he lets good boys and girls make a wish for Christmas, and how he can do anything. The kids tell Judy their Christmas wishes and then Judy says she's gonna write a letter to Santa telling him about all the wishes. Ms Mavilda, meanwhile, appears to be winning whatever game she and her friends are playing. Then it is revealed that one of her friends (named Helen) has five cards of the same suit, which apparently wins her the game. Mavilda is infuriated, and we cut to a scene of her waking up the next day. She complains about a hangover (apparently she got drunk the previous night, go figure.) And then hears a knock on her door, signifying that Judy is there. Mavilda realizes that without the money, she can't buy new clothes for the children.(she has a brief conversation with herself to come to this conclusion.) Judy comes in and asks about the shopping trip, and Mavilda tells her that they won't be going. In this scene Mavilda's mood changes rather frequently, from angry: "Don't let the children play outside!!" to cruel: "Be sure to tell them the 'good news' about the clothes!"
     
    I don't want to review this ALL today, so keep yer eyes out for part 2 of the review soon. 
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlFtMxG6mnY
    watch it here,  and maybe comment about what you think i should talk about in part 2.
    Merry Christmas!
  9. BionicleBean
    Well, here we are. The Christmas Brigade. The sequel to The Christmas Light. So, the first film was bad enough in it's 22 minutes runtime, but the sequel- is over 60 minutes.
    This film is possibly worse than it's predecessor. The plot goes that Santa, Burton, Jennifer and Isaac are now...a secret agency? they refer to themselves as the Christmas Brigade, who apparently have agents all over the world.  The film begins with a camera shot of Santa's Workshop (which looks like a prison) and an infuriating song that goes something like: The Christmas Brigade brings the magic of Christmas to every day of the year! That's Right! Every day of the year! Oh yeah! Patrolling the skies above the planet earth, the Christmas Brigade has proved it's worth!
    so after this musical monstrosity is completed, we cut to Santa's Sled 2, which you may remember. And then we see the gang: Burton, Isaac and Jennifer. Immediately after stating that The Christmas Brigade must bring the magic of Christmas to every day of the year, Burton tries to make a joke: "Hey Jen, what kind of a girl does a burger like? Any, as long as she's named Patty!" This is either a terrible attempt at humor or flirting. hopefully the first one. Then Burton says how much he loves this pick up line joke. So then Santa interrupts and says to them through a speaker: "Come in, Christmas Brigade. It's a beautiful night tonight, I've never seen a prettier Christmas eve. The Christmas Light is strong this year. I can feel it." Santa then explains how powerful and good the Christmas light is. Then Sled 2 gets a message from one of their agents: a small French child named Pierre who tells them(with an obviously fake french accent): "A strange ship has appeared at ze Eiffel tow-er! It is shaking!" The tower begins to violently shake as Santa yells at his agents to get over there, at light-speed. Christmas Light-speed. so after approximately 1 second they decide to slow down. Then the tower begins to shrink. Then Pierre starts to fall, and X (the small weird flying robot thing they have) saves Pierre. them, Jennifer says how much she is glad that she kept faith in the Christmas Light. Then Isaac says: "It was X who saved him, not the Christmas Light." Then this religious discussion is interrupted by the moderators when they wonder who was in that ship that made the tower shrink.  So, later (they actually have a screen that says "Later..." that shows when they can't be bothered to animate something ) Then Isaac says he has invented a device called the Power Belt, which allows him to clip through walls. The others are amazed at this. Then Isaac says that the device can also shrink and freeze things, but these functions aren't perfected and could backfire. Then he shrinks Burton for some reason. He says to Burton: "On the practical side, you can now comb your hair and tie your shoes at the same time."  Go figure. Then Jennifer and Isaac start arguing and Burton lightens the mood with another "Joke" : "What did the burger say to the topping who couldn't keep up? Ketchup! get it, Catch up? i just love that one! Ha ha!" Then we cut to Santa's Prison-looking-fortress-workshop and he gets a call from a junior member (of the Brigade) known as Johnny Johnson. he says that the Golden Gate Bridge is being orbited by a strange ship, the same one we saw earlier. Then Santa warns Johnny Johnny to get off the bridge, And tells The Brigade to get over there. Jennifer replies with: "this is the Christmas Brigade, i'm in charge." Then Isaac says "this is the Christmas Brigade, i'm in charge." Sadly, not even Burton's Burger flirting can lighten the mood this time. Then Santa ask where Burton is (Burton is apparently the leader of this particular squad) and Jennifer says that Isaac shrunk him. So then they yeet of to the Bridge, to see what's going on. They ask: "There's the ship, but who's in there?" Then we are introduced to the Villain of the piece: Doctor D.  He says: Dr. D is the name, and i'm Dr. D! This is my ship, The Dart!" We cut to a shot of a weird ray attached to his ship, which he says: "This is the Transducer-Reducer!" Then he states that: I don't just play with my competition, I crush them! And you, sirs, are my competition." Jennifer says he sounds like a nutcase, which he does, the voice actor makes him sound weird. oh yeah, Dr. D has a purple mustache. Why? Because why not! So Isaac somehow gathers the information that Dr. D can restore things to their original size, and clips through the wall to challenge him. Dr D says that he intends to shrink everything down that is important to people (Oh no, he's gonna shrink The Lego Group!) And put them in his wonders of the world display case. "Call it, a Christmas present to myself." He says. Then Dr D says that he's going to bring misery to every day of the year, to which Isaac says is impractical. Then Isaac gets mind controlled, because Dr. D wants him for assistance in his evil plans. Then he begins telling him his tragic backstory about how fat he was and how he had to iron his clothes in the driveway and that his last picture had to be taken from a satellite. Then he says he has a wonderful retirement plan. So D and his mind-controlled servant go off to the Christmas Complex (Santa's prison). Then we get a 4 second long scene of Isaac floating up to Santa's prison, because now he can do that.  So he and D shrink Santa because and put him on a plant because they are evil. Apparently Santa needs to get rid of the mini Transducer-Reducer that was placed in his office, "Before it midnight, 12 o' clock.", when it will activate and shrink the Christmas Complex forever.  Then Isaac says to Jennifer that he will now help Dr D because "You guys have a lousy benefits package, And retirement plan." Then Dr D says that he plans to be the richest and thinnest man in the world. "Just look at me, i have the body of an 18 year-old!" Then Jennifer roasts him. Christmas roasts him. "Well if you do, you'd better give it back, 'cause you've ruined it." You know what? I'll just type out this next dialogue without commentary. it's too good to miss:
    D: "Dear, dear, you are cute. i love just 3 things, power, money and both! Money may not buy you love, but it does put you in a very good negotiating position."
    Jennifer: "Well i guess you have your standards. They're just low. But you are a big success at being a failure."
    Then she roasts Isaac as well:
    Jennifer: Isaac, if you ever need a friend...."
    Isaac: "Yeah?"
    Jennifer:" Buy a dog!"
    This is the only good dialogue in the whole film.
    So, Jennifer and Burton try to contact Santa, but he has been shrunk and now cannot reach the speaker.
    Burton and Jennifer go back to the Christmas Complex to talk to Santa.  After clipping through the walls, They find he isn't there. Except, he is, Only too small to be seen, poor thing. Santa tries and fails to communicate with them. Jennifer and Burton clip through a few walls to try and find him, and they fail. Burton laments that he can "just see the headlines now", and we get to see these headlines:
    WHERE'S SANTA?
    scandal in the brigade!
    and
    NO CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR!
    " i think he's cuter this size"
    -Jennifer
    Meanwhile, tiny Santa falls of of a plant he was standing on, and onto the floor. So Santa then encounters beetles. Singing beetles. These beetles mention how short their life is and sing about it.  Then a song worse than Burton's explosive rant fills our ears.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5971prpADA
    so watch this and behold.
    Well after that abomination of a song the beetles carry Santa up to Santa's desk. Santa can now reach the speaker, and can communicate with Burton and Jennifer.
    Santa says that he is now smaller than a pea, and that Burton is a giant compared to him. We then cut to The Dart, where Isaac and Dr. D have hacked into Santa's Communication device with their Mad Hacker Xtreme Kool Skillz and notice he is communicating with Burton and Jennifer. He tells Isaac to shrink The Dart And fly right in(To Santa's complex ). They do this , and then an incredible chase scene begins, with a shrunk Dart and Sled 2 (for some reason they also shrunk, go figure.) chasing each other through Santa's office. But, Egad! There's only 5 minutes left before "it 12 o' clock, midnight"! So the mini Transducer-Reducer placed in Santa's office is about to go off! Then D and Isaac fly out of the complex and send out their Evil Robot (Who is just a recolored X) To chase after X. Then X gets shot by Z (the evil robot) And then D tells Isaac to fire the Death Ray (Which apparently he has now for some reason) at Sled 2. Santa tells Jennifer and Burton that there was a great disturbance in the Christmas Light and that they must keep faith. Then, in the most underwhelming attack sequence ever, the Death Ray is fired and Sled 2 spirals out of control while The Complex is shrunk by Dr. D. Then Isaac starts talking about how great D's retirement plan is, before D reminds him about profit sharing and at this point i don't want to review this anymore. and yet i do.  So D gloats about how he has destroyed Christmas and bla bla bla evil plan stuff. Then in Sled 2 Burton mentions how the Christmas Light saved them and returns to normal size because Christmas Light or something. Then  Dr. D shrinks the Sled 2 into his wonders of the world display case. Then he starts talking about his freaking annoying backstory and how he lost 120 pounds and he had an attorney who helped him get a divorce, all of which has NO RELEVANCE to the actual "Plot" of the film.  Then Dr. D starts using burger-related flirting techniques  riddles and tells Burton some weird thing about a burger who could tell his fortune. Then a screen which says "LATER......" Pops up, then disappears and Isaac communicates with Sled 2 via weird speaker thingy and says that the mind control device is broken and that Dr D is asleep, and how that they can escape if they hit the wall at Christmas Light speed,  they'l able able to get out. Jennifer initially doesn't believe Isaac, but then Dr. D appears and says the same thing Isaac told Jennifer to Isaac, only to say that if they actually do that Sled 2 will explode.  Then Burton has an epiphany that the answer to D's joke/riddle is a Medium Hamburger. (he says "I just love that one, i just love it!") then he realizes that they have to hit the wall at Christmas light speed Medium to get out. They do this and yeet out of the case and crash into one of The Dart's control levers. Then they freeze Dr D's ship (with the power belts,remember?). So then instead of explaining how everything got back to normal, Santa just says that everything is now back to normal.  Burton then makes another burger joke: "What kind of dance does a burger do? the Jar Jar! I just love that one, i mean i just LOVE it!" I don't even understand anymore. I just want to finish the review. Then they start singing their Christmas Brigade song, again.  Then Santa announces that everyone is invited to a Christmas Party where Jennifer and her "Sister" (Just a recolored version of her model) Sing Christmas songs for 20 minutes.  Then they recap THE ENTIRE FIRST FILM ALL OVER AGAIN. BY JUST PLAYING IT AGAIN. I am beginning to hate this film. Then Jennifer and her sister sing the CHRISTMAS BRIGADE SONG AGAIN.  Then the film ends- But wait! They have to sing The Christmas Brigade song AGAIN! Then, the film FINALLY ends for real.
     
    I'm glad that's over.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xhUWu7A7Ro
      Watch the whole thing here, and comment below about your "favourite" parts!
  10. BionicleBean
    I love Christmas time. Snow, Elves, Hot drinks, Grinch-proofing the house- and Christmas films. I'll bet you've seen some Christmas films in your time. Some good, and some bad. Well, i have discovered a very, very weird film indeed. It is Called: The Christmas Light, from 1995. So, what is this film? It is an animated film that revolves around Santa, who's workshop's toy production is behind, for reasons unknown. So he goes to see one of his elves (Named Isaac) Who has invented a machine that can create toy trains. This machine does it's job very efficiently, And Santa puts it in use. Then, A voice screams at Santa to "come see me in my office now!" Then Santa sighs, And says: "Let's go see what Burton wants this time...." It is now we are introduced to Burton, an inventor elf. As he paces around his "Office" we get some incredible dialogue:" All of the elves dislike Burton. some dislike him more than others, but they all dislike him." Now, this is where the film starts to get Weird.  As soon as Santa and Isaac enter Burton's office he says something about how amazing he is and how he is now better than Santa and anyone else. So Burton shows off what looks like a 3D printer, which prints a train- Which promptly explodes. Why, you ask? Because why not! Then Santa says that he can't give children explosives, and that the machine is just too dangerous. then Burton has a meltdown:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USZL46yLbpg
    The above is a clip from the film, so you can hear this "musical" masterpiece. Have you watched it? Good, now we can continue. so Burton then is replicated as an ice statue by his own 3D printer. Why? Because Why not! Isaac says a few words to commemorate Burton: He's gone, Burton's gone, poor Burton." without actually sounding sincere whatsoever. Then Isaac breaks the statue because he's stupid and Burton's broken ice statue (which somehow contains his conscience) transforms into a flying magic evil snowman who has the most ominous and threatening name ever:
    Snowman.
    yes, he's literally just called snowman. Why? Because why not! So Isaac then tells Santa that he has a secret invention, which is a weird spaceship with a small robot called "X" who guides them through the sky. The device has an amazingly creative name:
    Sled 2.
     
    so then Santa goes in Sled 2 to pursue Snowman. But woe, the Snowman's evil ice magic has made it too snowy for them to see. Then Santa says that "The Christmas Light" always guides him. so, naturally, Santa does the logical thing and teleports into a random house and abducts a small girl for some reason( teh reason is revealed later). The girl's name is Jennifer, and she agrees to go with Santa because: "She has had many dreams about Santa, but she knows this is the real thing." So they chase the Snowman and meet up with him. Snowman has turned into a giant flying head now, Who threatens them in a very ominous way. Then Santa's small robot thing traps Snowman, somehow. then Isaac says: "Santa, say the word and X will destroy him." Then Jennifer says: "No, Santa! That would kill Burton!" Santa thinks about this for a while. Then Santa says: No, Isaac call X off." So Snowman is spared. Then he turns into a Master hand look-alike and bashes the Sled 2. Then Sled 2 crashes. While Santa and Isaac try to repair the ship, Jennifer sneaks out to try and talk to Snowman. Then, to try and reason with him, they have a rap battle. kindof.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0lIrJ1MLMY
    So, Watch this now. Then Burton melts. Jennifer and Santa and Isaac all grieve over Snowman. Then Burton re-appears because Christmas magic. Then Burton says he's sorry for trying to kill them and that was a big mistake. then Santa says: "We would have made a big mistake too, if it wasn't for Jennifer!". Take this in. If it wasn't for Jennifer to tell Santa otherwise, He would have killed Burton.
     
    so, then they all go back to Santa's workshop. the end.
    you can watch  the whole film here, and experience it yourself.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKIH4EPjoMw
    There's also a sequel that's infinitely worse.
  11. BionicleBean
    Well, it's simple as a, b, c. 
    i plug the hue animation camera into the PC i use, then load up the software that comes with it. I place the black curtain (anyone who has watched my videos will probably be familiar with said curtain) for use as a background.  then i go into my building room and spend 2-3 minutes choosing what to animate with. then i begin using the camera and software, often drinking large quantities of water to hydrate myself. when i'm done i usually upload it to my youtube channel, with some exceptions such as projects that would take several days to animate.
    If you have any tips or whether this was helpful, please let me know in the comments.
  12. BionicleBean

    Super Kirby Clash

    By BionicleBean,

    i know what you're most likely thinking: Y ZORK R U TALKIN BOUT DIS 2 YEAR OL GAME
    well, i have a wee story to tell you. i never liked this game all that much. it was just...well too microtransaction-y for my liking. but recently, i've started playing the game again. why? because i recently finished Deltarune chapter 1 and chapter 2, and i was hungry for more RPGs. i remembered super Kirby clash, so i started playing it again. it still far too microtransaction-y for my tastes, but i realised it had a beautiful soundtrack. King D-mind, boss fight 2, Nightmare, all great tracks. i just never took the time to appreciate them, because i was too busy with trying to defeat the boss before the timer went out and i had to pay 3 gem apples to continue.
  13. BionicleBean
    It's Showtime!
    Well, this be my blog. so, currently i'm working on stopmotions, ever since i got a stopmotion camera. Now i can make crazy animations with various figures and toys. If you have any ideas for bionicle related stopmotions, maybe comment 'em down below. Thanks, You've been a wonderful audience. Goodbye for now!
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