Bionicle Guru

Remember "troutwar" links? I sort of do, since I went so far as to mention it in my comedy, "BORNICLE." I think they were links people put in their sigs that led to bad pages or (in most cases) a silly picture of a trout. They caught the link-clicker off guard. If I a misremembering, somebody please rectify my crumbling memories. Well, that's it for the retrospective. I was reminded of it while re-reading sections of "BORNICLE." I hope everyone is having a good day on BZPower and in real life (go outside! Get some sunshine!). I wish I could also frolic and enjoy this wonderful Friday, but alas, I'm trapped at work until 5 PM. I did get paid today, and although Illinois taxes gouged me again, I am still happy for what I got. To celebrate, I had some BK for lunch today. Triple Whopper = carnivorous delight. Before signing off for now, I have a fun fact. Did you know BZP used to have annual "Year in Review" articles at the end of each year? They stopped doing this in 2004, and it has sadly never returned.

You're going to love this. NEW TRON: Legacy Trailer (released 7/22/10) December 17 cannot come fast enough! I envy those people at Comic-con right now who are virtually immersed in all things "TRON" right now. Enjoy, Bionicle Guru UPDATE: It appears that previous link was a temporary one for a promotion's sake. I've added a new one that should work. Big ups to Waffles for catching that.

So I'm typing this while on my lunch break at work. See how much I care about you guys and girls? Anyway, in my quest to make this blog just as peevishly annoying as those of the "regulars" on BZP, I've added some obnoxious content blogs to distract you from my writing, which has now been unduly crunched. I know you love it. I stared for a long time at BORNICLE last night. I think I will update it soon because all the nice replies posted afterward without a single person whining about where the next update was going to happen. Thank you; I really appreciate the unspoken patience. More to come soon regarding TRON: Legacy! At 1:30 PM Central time, something BIG is going to happen. Check out www.flynnlives.com/identityraid. End of Line, Bionicle Guru

As an addendum to my previous post: I request a star rating for my blog while it's temporarily active. I don't care if you want to give me one star or five. I'll take either fame or infamy. It's just a blog. Go back to your lemonade, Bionicle Guru.

It was the best part of my lunch sandwich. Collectible, yet a bit sharp in flavor. Time dilation effects were minimal once I got the thing into my stomach.

Betcha' didn't see this one coming! I decided to be fun and update my blog for no reason other than because I can. I'm sure you are all brimming with questions for me. So I will answer them for now. Better get your own questions or comments in while you can. Chances are that I won't be able to update this blog again until next year (And by then, I might be dead, for all you know, so no time like the present). FAQ Q: Where have you been? A: College, dude! Actually, it isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm one year away from graduating with a degree in Mechanical Engineering, and while I've learned a lot and had a great education, those first few years were really tough, boring, and sometimes depressing. Naturally, I lost the motivation to post on BZP often, although I kept collecting BIONICLE fervently in spite of predictions of not being able to. Q: Well, what about BORNICLE? A: Yeah, what about it??? I'm currently in negotiations to sell the movie rights to Viacom. OK, that is a lie. I'm actually accepting a settlement payment from LEGO for ceasing to produce BORNICLE, as it tarnishes the reputation of one of their most treasured brand names. Didn't believe that one either, eh? Well, the truth of the matter is this. As it stands, BORNICLE is slowly moving forward again. Evidence lies in a couple of recent additions (i.e May 2010) concerning the origins of the Toga Losa and their training at the hands of Hytaxon. The recent hiatus is actually a grieving period for me, since the results of the last Comedy Forum contest proved that I am completely lacking in comedic talent and that my former fans have abandoned me. That or everyone currently reading BZP comedies has lowered their standards so far as to accept whatever won that contest as "funny." Note that I have no idea who won; only that I lost. Hence the angst. I'll stop crying now. You don't respond to PM's/can't send you a PM! A: Um, buy me a lifetime Premier Membership! The data-hording scalawags have limited the amount of messages I can keep, so once it fills up, I'm forced to delete stuff. Some things I cannot delete though, so I'm holding out for some random generosity. Frankly, I like not receiving PM's, since they tend to be kind of obnoxious at times. Q: Why do you refer to them as "PM's"? A: Simple. Because, my dear children, if I referred to them as "Pms" like most BZPer's do, I'd be inadvertently sending all male message-recipients an undeserved punishment that most girls endure monthly. I'm not that rude. Q: How do you feel about BIONICLE's end? A: How do you think I feel!? The story is still going on, so I am grateful for that. Love the direction this new "The Powers that Be" serial is going. Also glad in a way my wallet won't have to endure additional spending. So maybe it is a good thing. I'll miss it dearly, and I will always treasure those toys. Even the Hordika. Yeah, I went there. Q: What about Hero Factory? A: A sick joke on my psyche! At first, I tried to write it off as childish story-wise and step backward for LEGO set design-wise. However, now that I see them in stores, that little voice of curiosity is whispering to me, "BIONICLE GURU, BUY WILLIAM FURNO. It's just one set. It won't hurt. You may not even like it that much. You aren't betraying BIONICLE. Go on. It feels good; the power. You can get lost in it..." And now that I realize the open-ended storyline allows for massive imaginary play opportunities, as opposed to the more structured world of BIONICLE, it becomes even more tempting. But I will wait for a sale. Or surprise gift. Whatever comes first. Must fight the voice in my head! Q: What else is new? A: Well, I'm currently working in Chicago for the summer. It is an internship, and it pays well, not to mention all the stuff I am learning. Chicago is an awesome city. Three Lego stores, a great art museum, excellent food, and even some random Transformers running around (yeah, I saw Shia "Sam Witwicky" LaBeouf running around downtown from invisible Decepticons). I've seen Inception, and it has been the best film I've seen all year, though I am hoping that TRON: Legacy outdoes it. As if you couldn't tell I am a TRON fan. Well, that is it for now, folks. I go back to school for my last year in late August, but the time is coming again where I shall be more active in the online Lego community. I hope BZP doesn't go to pot in the meantime. I hope you enjoyed this comedic interview of sorts. Until next time, stay cool, don't brown-nose, and brakalatabassata FEED MEEEEEE! -The Bionicle Guru

Yes, a nice, large, coffee-table book. "The Art of BIONICLE." Huge, glossy pages covered with concept drawings, paintings, early CGI renderings of the toys, advertisements, promotional images, box art, you name it. I'd pay premium if it was mostly (like, at least 75%) images never-before-seen by the public. Kind of like that stuff that popped up on the Advance website by Christian Faber. Although we have already seen those, having them in a larger size would be a lot better. Though I know this won't happen, if this kind of book was released next year, I'd probably buy it over the entire range of purported BIONICLE Stars sets being released. I am a HUGE fan of conceptual art, as I think pieces such as those, so-called works-in-progress, really reveal a lot of open imagination that ends up being trimmed or left on the cutting room floor entirely when the final product, be it a movie, TV show, video game, or even a toy line like BIONICLE, is released.

Boy, I can only imagine. I hear they feed patrons well and in good amounts in restaurants across the water. I wish I could visit the UK one day.

What is going on with the comics this year? I am really concerned, because since 2006, we've lacked a physical Bionicle comic in January. While an online supplement in January 2007 somewhat made up for this, it just was not the same. There is a gap in my collection now, unless I print off color sheets of the online comic. But now, with this year setting the stage for the final battle between the Toa Nuva and the Brotherhood of the Makuta, the story should be quite expansive. There is no January comic, and the first book of the year, concerning the Phantoka, is not even available for another couple of months. And if there is no May-June comic, what are we supposed to do then? Is everything just going to "explode" towards Fall 2008? Or did I misunderstand your post? Sorry if I did. I just really like the setup for this year with the wonderful website, four-minute retrospective video, awesome online serials, and of course, the return of the Toa Nuva. It hinted at an awesome story to come. But here we are in mid-February, and there is absolutely no concrete story to speak of concerning the Toa Nuva and the Makuta. Any clarification would be most appreciated.

Ummm...some of us still try to elevate the art of Bionicle parody (if elevate is even the right word here), but you see, it is hard to see the forest for the trees when some of the best trees keep getting pushed to the rear of the forest by BZPers.

I can only wonder excitedly if the Toa Nuva will inadvertenly encounter their old foes. This reminds me; the one big BIONICLE mystery that I would like to see revealed is the nature of the relationship between the Bohrok/Bahrag and the Toa Nuva. Even four years later, Gahdok's (or was it Cahdok?) enigmatic line, "You dared to oppose your brothers!" keeps me up on some nights. Two different groups, each serving different purposes; how could they ever be linked?

The server is really killing my blogging game here on BZPower. I had a nice entry written up a few days ago to post here, but since the server decided to lag, I lost all of it. Naturally, I lost the desire to retype the entry, so all my fellow readers get is what I am writing now. But in short, yes, I have come back from Pittsburgh and CMU. I made a lot of new friends and strengthened some old friendships. Much fun was had, and now I am back in my dreary home. I start school next week, and with classes like AP Calculus, AP Physics, and AP English Literature, I have quite a bit of work to do. Not to mention, I have to apply to college this year and finally move out into the world. Yikes. Bionicle-wise, I am very impressed with my two Toa Inika, and I declare the Inika to be the best set of six Bionicle figures to date (beating out the Piraka who beat out the Toa Metru who beat out the Rahkshi who beat out the Toa Nuva who beat out the original Toa). BORNICLE writing will resume soon. Readers should check that out for something new I am planning to do with the way I add chapters. This should be interesting. Until next time, Bionicle Guru

Like the title says, I am still in Pittsburgh. I am not posting any BORNICLE chapters until mid-August, though I have established no particular date yet. I was walking in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood and one store had a huge display of kids' Lego creations. They were all either Star Wars, Harry Potter, or Bionicle-themed. The Bionicle MOCs were absolutely pathetic, but I found creative humor in each. The best one had to be two models named "The Sidoracks [sic] Are Talking." It was basically two mutated Visorak placed in front of one another. Even my friends, who have no idea as to what Bionicle is, thought that model was hilarious. I have not gotten to draw in awhile. That is somewhat disconcerting, but I will live with it. For now. That is all.

Well well well. I lost Art Contest 11. Surprise surprise. It goes to show that the age of accurate-to-set drawings has yet to come. In happier news, I am in Pittsburgh, living on the awesome CMU campus preparing for college life. So far, the activities have been pretty crazy. A hypnotist of sorts came the first night and guessed many people's locker combinations and names. I thought it was all rigged, until he picked people that I knew personally would not pretend to go along with a charlatan's charade. The next day (yesterday) was a drag due to the SAT test, but it culminated in a loud, perky, sweat-fest known as Playfair. Basically, a dude on stage tried to makes us all in the Pre-College programs become good friends. Pfft. Well, I have six weeks. Let what may come, come (I hate using the same word twice). Some random kid was wearing a Lego T-shirt; specifically, an old, Johnny Thunder Amazon Adventurers shirt from 1999. I gave him a high-five just for being a Lego fan (Adventurers in 1999 paled in comparision to their 1998 Egyptian predecessors). I already have homework. Ugh. Blechh. ACKK PhhhpppT! The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. I'm out. Peace, The Bionicle Guru in Pittsburgh.

This sounds very nice. I never really read Bionicle short story fanfics, since the few I did read were -so- fantastic (and I use the definition of the word that means a tendency towards ridiculous and outlandish). I think this will be very fun. I do not know if I will be able to enter (I am kind of busy too), but I will try my best.

Well, I am not complaining, but a BIG part of the reason I never posted the dozens of pieces of Bionicle artwork I have is because I always assumed everybody would just ignore it because they did not know who I was on BZP. I -really- went out of tradition by entering the contest with "Be Kold." At first, I kept telling myself, "no, Bionicle Guru. What makes you think you would even win the preliminaries?" But eventually, I decided that I had a good enough idea, and my skills are only getting better with the pencil, so I whipped up an entry. With a lot of luck (I think), I won my poll (only by one vote). I probably will not win the contest (for reasons stated elsewhere), but I like to think I, the unknown Bionicle draw-er (that is probably not a word) "beat the system" and managed to defeat a "well-known" Bionicle artist in one poll. I takes what I can gets.

When not passing his time on BZPower writing BORNICLE, posting unheeded wisdom, or losing Artwork and LGD forum contests, the person who you are familiar with as Bionicle Guru leads a wholly dissimilar life. Many would never guess as to his BZP membership, much less his interest in Bionicle. But anyway, did you know that: He likes to play tennis, and though he is only a veritable noob at the spot (we are talking not even a full year's experience), is getting better all the time.He likes a wide variety of music, though it is mainly of the rock and roll genre. Favorites include the Beatles, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Yes, Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, Red Hot Chili Peppers, U2, and many othersHe has the power of Mimicry, which allows him to imitate most people, celebrities, and noises.He likes chicken. Lots of chicken. Even live chicken.Of course, BG also has a softer side (for the ladies), a dark side (for the unjust and cruel), and a passive side (sometimes, I do not try to be the life of the party, so to speak). And he keeps several blogs, this BZP version being his latest. Currently, he is facing a big move up north to CMU in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. There he will live for six weeks taking courses that will prepare him for his senior year in high school. That is all for now. I probably have to take a shower to clean all the sweat I worked up at tennis practice today.

TEST COMMENT

This is the third time I have become a Premier Member of BZPower, and the benefits only get better and better. It does upset me that I never earned my proto points from good deeds on the forums; only by monetary payment have I allowed myself to appear as an "Outstanding BZP Citizen." So kids, there is a lesson in that. Do not let appearances deceive you. Just because someone seems cool, honest, "outstanding," or smart on the Internet does not indicate IN THE LEAST that they are truly like that. With that statement, I leave my first nugget of partial wisdom. Of course, some of you are reading this already nodding your heads, "Of course, BG, we knew this. When will you update BORNICLE? Are you going to win AC11? Will you post in my topic???" Well, changing gears here, I have already updated BORNICLE. Just click my signature banner and then click on the last page. You will find it there, waiting for you. And from the looks of it right now, I may not win AC11. C'est la vie!. You cannot win them all, and I hardly expected to succeed against the "artists" of BZPower. First of all, I must explain my style in drawing anything BIONICLE. People seem to always say I stay true to the set. However, many also say this and hint that this may be a bad thing. How so? When I received Tahu in March of 2001, I felt compelled to draw him. Sure, I could have given the Toa of Fire googly, anthromorphic eyes, a wan smile, human proportions, and five-fingered hands. But did I? If you know me in the least, then this a hearty NO. I drew Tahu exactly as I saw him. Naturally, I posed my model, but it looked just like him, albeit at that point in my life, I could not shade at all. However, two items of note stick out at me when I look at this early drawing. 1: The two fingers in Tahu's "hand" are curved inward at definite point. Did I envision fingers? 2: A strange black wire extends from behind Tahu's head and follows the neck down into the chest cavity. Was I trying to roboticize Bionicle? If the two conclusions contradict each other, then something is not right in the logic. The real answer is (and I can only say this after drawing Bionicle characters for over five years) that my style adapts to the individual characteristics of a character. Take Thok in my "Be Kold" poster. He looks pretty much like the set, eh? But some things stand out. 1: His spine/arm spines all have the characteristic spikes. But unlike the set version, each and every one of them comes to a sharp point (a safety hazard for young children, gasp!). 2: Thok's teeth are all sharp and deadly. 3: The ice pick comes to a sharp point and edge 4: Many points on the armor are sharpened. 5: Yes, I gave his Zamor launcher hand four fingers and a thumb. 6: At each ball joint connection, small strands of muscle and living tissue can be seen enveloping the ball. There are other differences, but I think my point is clear. Clearly, I want to stay true to the model. I think a big problem with BZP "artists" is that they only see the sets as a starting point for their drawings to evolve from. This is not necessarily a bad idea, and has yielded some wonderful results. However, much of this kind of extrapolation has muddled Bionicle, in my opinion. For example, why give Bionicle characters human sight organs when they look so cool and natural with the sharp, glowing, monocolored eyes that were given to them in the sets? Sure, many of us have an affinity for homo sapiens (it is our species, after all), so it is natural to want to make Bionicle conform to more human ideals of shape and form. I mean, little old ladies want their dogs to wear clothes and have their cats eat from a plate at the dinner table every night. Is this so wrong?? Well, perhaps little Fido will object if the feel of shoes on his paws irks him, but Bionicle sets are no living things. We can make them human in drawings or in real life (I shudder to think of some little sister out there, taking her older brother's Toa Nuju and placing Barbie clothes upon his armor), but I finally am getting the guts to say this. Give accurate-to-set Bionicle drawings a chance. Bionicle sets are pieces of art in themselves. They bring an exciting aesthetic design that cannot be found anywhere else in Lego, much less the world. It is fine if you want to change your Gali portrait so that she has armor conforming to her non-existant mammaries or if you want your Matoran to be the same size as Toa. But give accurate-to-set Bionicle drawings a chance. In the right hands, they can create the same magic within one when glimpsing a new Bionicle set. After all, is it not the sets that we fell in love with, NOT the stylized drawings? It probably is too late for "Be Kold." But it is not too late to start a movement. I am not saying I am right. I am saying I want accurate-to-set drawings to be just as accepted for its values as any other form of Bionicle art. Oh, and it depends on whether or not Jupiter is aligned with Sirius if I post in your topic or not. Chew on that for a while, eh? The Bionicle Guru

So it does pay to check out these blogs...and I dare say, that is an intriguing title for BL #6. Could it refer to the lost land sunken beneath Voya Nui...Metru Nui...or even a new island wilderness in which Matoran long ago began the process of building a mighty city much like Metru Nui, but for some reason, mysteriously stopped? The mind boggles.