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Arch-Angel

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Blog Entries posted by Arch-Angel

  1. Arch-Angel
    Today and yesterday couldn't have been worse in the condition of my body with this cold/fever plus sinus.
     
    Yesterday was such a mess, plus me not being able to call Barnes & Noble for the answer as to whether or not I got my job annoyed me as well because I was KO'd on my bed. My nose has been leaking like a faucet for the past 56 hours. Last night, I was up until 1:40 AM doing a history project for the sake of actually passing, and having to wake up at 5:40 AM the very same morning.
     
    Today, though, had an unhealthy atmosphere. Sure I got to talk to my friend more, but other people decide to push me to my limit. Let's start with Mr. Foley.
     
    Mr. Foley is almost stoic in his speech and expression, if not completely stoic. He's fair in just about every matter he's involved in.
     
    Today, we had second lunch, where we go to for a half hour in the two hour block and do our lunch thing. I'm in an on-again, off-again conversation with a Marine who had his stand set up in the middle of the Brazil/Puerto Rico side of the cafeteria. I talk to him somewhat, et cetera et cetera, he makes two girls down forty knee push-ups (I was going to tell him to do the elevated ones), and so I forgot that after lunch, we'd spend the remainder of the period in the Library on the other side of the school.
     
    ...Of course, I forget, make it down to the hall, and realize that I'm suppose to be in the Library. Head over there, middle of the introduction the librarian is giving for our research project (I'm researching Alcohol and the physiological affects on the human body) and we get started on our research.
     
    You know when you need to blow your nose and you rather not do it in the class because it'll sound disgusting (and you're insecure that way and hate the fact)? Well...
     
    Fifteen minutes in, I need to blow my nose because the faucet is on again. I come up to him, he obviously thinks I was going to cut class due to the fact I was late, and doesn't let me. Why come to class late by five minutes and not cut class? If you're late, might as well go all out. I explain myself as to why I was late, doesn't buy it, then he tells me that this is the only time I have to research the project because he doubts I'll do it at home (I don't blame him), and doesn't let me.
     
    I asked the librarian if I could have a tissue, and I wipe my nose, nevertheless, the faucet is still on.
     
    An hour later, English is going smoothly. My teacher talks about the research paper (trust me, this won't be the last one coming) we're doing on any topic we'd like to know more about. I'm thinking Rodney King Riots or Martin Luther King Jr. I'm leaning towards MLK.
     
    The class is in freedom of discussion and this couldn't-be-more-of-a-apathetic-little-brat (and Mr. McNeill calls her a brat openly to the class, and he's not wrong) and I get into some kind of argument.
     
    At the very end, she shoots back with, "Get a life."
     
    There isn't really any good comeback to that I can think of without shouting at her or giving her a slap to the face her parents should've gave to the spoiled girl when she was younger (maybe then she'd have SOME respect).
     
    "I had a life, "I said, "I had a girlfriend.... and then she left."
     
    "And then she left, " she says, rubbing the cold, hard fact into my soul like a wet towel of acid.
     
    I silence myself. My mind rushes with thoughts of Bionigirl and how much I miss her. I tried to ignore the pain, continually encouraging myself that someday I'll talk to her again.
     
    Love just doesn't work that way.
     
    I throw myself in deep thought to drown out the world, yet notice the watering of my eyes, ready to unleash the heavy tears inside that have built up like a dam. It hurts thinking of it right now.
     
    Karley. I miss you.
     
    Hold on, watering again...
     
    ###### its so hard to control.
     
    The bell rings, and it signals our cell gates being open and our prison freedom is granted for seventeen and a half hours.
     
    I wait outside on the steps for the bus to come, because George is usually late and the guys just stand around and talk. The usual insults, comedy, nothing we truly mean, and I talk with this freshman kid who runs his mouth too often and purposely offends. As I'm bagging on him, one of the guys on the bus, I believe his name is Bryan, starts bagging on me about me being immature. Of course I know what he means. I'm usually immature to the guys (Josh and Phil) because they can get you in that care-free comedic mood. Bryan, on the other hand, likes to start arguments and uses his fists to add his exclamation point. He provokes me happily, even saying, "Wanna fight?" which I decline, because thanks to MLK, I'm trying to avoid getting into any heated brawl. He continues his insults, his comebacks that add nothing to his argument, and smiles the entire time.
     
    Thing is, I bet he could beat me. I know I have all the motivation to take him on without question, but I'm sure he's shoot his fists faster and harder. Remember, I'm a grappler/wrestler, not a boxer.
     
    I sit at the front of the bus, away from him. The seats wouldn't provide enough room to fight him if one did occur, so I avoided him. I talk with George and me and this other girl Sam talk about our 'Back in da day' time, meaning the 90s. It started with a Magic School Bus reference, and went on from there.
     
    I just had some chicken soup, taking a break from writing in this entry. Feel much better.
     
    Thursday is looking good now. Hopefully it will.
     
    ~AA
  2. Arch-Angel
    I should listen to Taki more often. I got more friends, I'm still not findng my way around school, but hey...
     
    Oh, and my grades might rise.
     
    Geometry makes sense to me. Before, I was dealing with Geometry from 20 years ago (that Cousulor said he hasn't seen that kind of Geometry since then) and now I'm ACTUALLY DOING MATH. With numbers!
     
    I'm going to join the Wrestling Team in the Middle Weight Devision. The coach said they need more Middle Weights, so he's proud to see me join. I'm putting my A-Game into it.
     
    Evenutally it'll all come crashing down. I haven't been to church since I moved, and knowing me, I wn't handle it well at all without my God.
     
    Thanks for cheering me up guys, hoping for a bright future!
     
    ~AA
  3. Arch-Angel
    We went on the highway to get to work.
     
    Flashbacks of the seventh grade flew across my head.
     
    Fred was a freshman going into sophomore year. He was an immigrant, and went to my church. Friends with my sister, and always cared. I barely knew him. I just heard he was the one Christian Brazi that people loved because his smile never left his face. He always asked how your family was, whether he personally knew them or not.
     
    He would be 19 or 20 today.
     
    I believe it was May 29th, 2005... He was coming home from church in Boston inside his friend's Eclipse. His friend was tired, as it was 1 AM, and he needed someone to keep him company to talk to and keep him awake, otherwise he slept at the wheel. Fred, like the good friend he was, died a good friend keeping his friend company.
     
    The night before, rain poured down hard like it did today in Massachusetts. The Mass Pike was extremely wet, and the driver was young and didn't care if he was going 90 on a 75 mph zone.
     
    They hydroplaned into a light pole, which tipped over, killing Fred almost instantly.
     
    The next day, I cried for a death for the first time.
     
    Since then, I've tried to be Fred. I do what I can to put a smile on one's face and remain serious in the end. Some of my close friends think it'll be my downfall trying so hard, but Fred was able to do it, and he's my role model.
     
    The dark clouds and the cold drops of rain only suited me.
     
    In Memory of Fred
     
    1990 - 2005
     
    ~AA
  4. Arch-Angel
    Right now, I turned off my music to type this.
     
    The past two days have been a bit difficult. Doing my homework, doing chores, hanging out with friends, and doing what I have to do on BZP.
     
    But everyday, exhausted or not, I sit down on this chair and listen to my music.
     
    I'm pretty sure not many of you listen to Hip-Hop, Rap, or R&B. Most of you have your,"92% of people have moved on to rap, if you're one of the 8% the listens to real music, put this in your profile/blog/signature."
     
    Now thats just rude.
     
    You see us hating you? No. We like a beat like you like a guitar. You say Rap and Hip-Hop isn't music?
     
    Its entertaining, it has emotion, it has lyrics. Its music.
     
    I say you stop hatin'. You can listen to your music, I'll listen to mine.
     
    "45% of people have moved on to Rap and Hip-Hop, another 45% still listens to rock. If you are one of the 10% that Party Like A Rockstar, put this in your profile/blog/signature."
     

  5. Arch-Angel
    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'.
     
    Today's song is one that I enjoyed listening too. Suggested by my friend Jack_Skellington, I truly love this song. Its late so I won't give you my thoughts this time, just know, its a great song.
     
    These Walls by Teddy Geiger.
     

  6. Arch-Angel
    You remember the 'I Miss' entry I made on Monday. Well, I asked my mom to call him, see if he wanted to talk to me. He said he wasn't ready to talk to me, that he was still upset at what I said to him. My mom had mixed feelings herself, she wanted me to talk to my dad and apologize, and when she heard that from him, she was a bit ticked. The fact he was upset over that, when he's done so much more worse to us.
     
    I'm truly confused as to what to think.
     
    Just right now, my mom got the mail and with it, a letter from dad. She opened it as I watched, showing three checks. One of the 140 dollars he owed me (he had to borrow some money momentarily to settle some debt in his bank account), another one for 56 dollars being the money I earned last Monday (the day before the... you know... thing), and the Child Support check for 180 dollars.
     
    I feel like he's settling his debt to me and getting rid of me.
     
    I fear it'll be a month or more until I hear his voice again...
     
    ...Sometimes I wish I can forget about him.
     
    ~AA
  7. Arch-Angel
    After praying for the apartment we need, the apartment we couldn't afford, the apartment that surpassed our dreams of getting, prayer came through, and we will soon move in.
     
    My sister's boyfriend had the 6000 dollars to loan to us. We will paid him back piece by piece befre he leaves for Brazil, but good news is, we aren't living in my friend's apartment.
     
    About the whole Punch-To-The-Jaw thing, the whole thing has blown out of porportion. I have been asked too many questions today in school, and NC is shooting of his mouth.
     
    Removed. -Kohaku
     

  8. Arch-Angel
    Tomorrow is the 54th Weekly Blog Award I've been aimming for for weeks. Its going to be a heart-pounder...
     
    The passed two days have no been fun... at all. All except getting my uncle and aunt from the Logan Airport today then eating at a Brazilian Buffet was the most exciting thing I've done.
     
    Although, there was this one incident yesterday.
     
    That morning I was running very late. Just got the amount of sleep I needed to get through the day without taking a desk nap (meaning sleeping during school) but with one problem.
     
    I had 15 minutes before the bus left and I needed to shave with the add-on I didn't check for everything I needed for the day.
     
    Making a good shave in the morning (being as tired as I can be and trying to be aware of the clock too) is a good 10 minutes at least. I don't shave at night cause I don't like 5 o'clock shadows.
     
    5 minutes left. At least I got my clothes ready. Grabbed my watch, jacket, money, body spray, deodorant...
     
    "Where's my freakin' wallet?"
     
    My wallet contains no money. Nothing valuable unless you want a High School Discount Card and a CVS Extra Care Card. Maybe the American Eagle Points Card thingy.
     
    But the one thing I need the most...
     
    The keycard.
     
    You see, if you are reading this post for the first time, or have just started reading this long and emotionally distraught blog from start to finish, then I guess I should tell you now that I live in an 3-bedroom apartment. Hard to find, hard to afford, trust me, borrowing 6 grand and slowly paying it back isn't easy. But the important thing about the story here, I live in a freakin' apartment.
     
    If you ever been to an apartment complex before, whether visiting a friend so you could use their pool pass during the summer or you actually live in one, then you know that you either have a code to punch in to get in or a keycard to swipe so the door would be unlocked temperarily.
     
    I, my friend, leave it in my wallet. And I only misplace my wallet, never lose it (not yet anyways).
     
    I decide to forget about it and hope that the door stays unlocked after closing from the last person to walk inside (occasionally it happens) and go on ahead to chase the bus.
     
    I don't make half-way before I see the bus taking off.
     
    I go home, kind guy leaves the door open for me as he's stepping out, I tell madre, she's irratated, and in an hour, I head to school.
     
    Fast forward, I get off the bus, an the entire time, I'm worrying about how to get in. I hope the door is open in that rare state, or I come around just as someone's coming in.
     
    Well, no such luck.
     
    I'm in the lobby entrance hoping for someone to come in or head out.
     
    Finally, a car goes inside the garage. I sowly get out of the lobby, wait for the person to get close to the door.
     
    Its a reddish-hair elderly lady. Not majorly old, but plenty old enough to be under the catagory "More-Life-Expericenced" so my mind automatically sets to much respect for her.
     
    "Excuse me, could you open the door for me?"
     
    "Why?"
     
    "I forgot my wallet in my apartment, which has my card."
     
    "What apartment?"
     
    "122."
     
    "Well, your name should be on the list."
     
    "We haven't lived here long, and they didn't change the papers."
     
    We are referring to the list on the wall of the last names of supposely everyone that lives here along with a number to call to that person's phone.
     
    We go to that list in the lobby entrance and of course, my name isn't there.
     
    "Your name isn't here."
     
    "Ma'am, I have my key right here. I live on the first floor. I just forgot my card."
     
    She looks at me with these eyes, thinking she knows I'm lying, and says in a voice that people say just to tick another person off...
     
    "You don't live here."
     
    Slap to the face! Thats just rude. She then said the following.
     
    "I'm sorry, but I can't let you in."
     
    You see, if she only just said that, that would be fine. But no, she's right, I'm wrong, end of the line. She walks out of the Lobby Entrance and goes through the Garage Entrance just to make sure I don't go in.
     
    I understand why she didn't let me in, but to speak in an attitude like that is inexcusable.
     
    Lesson for All: Never become that person.
     
    Song of the Day tomorrow...
     

  9. Arch-Angel
    Ryuu

    Ryuu, otherwise known as Korey, is my friend from High School. She's got a lot of heart, and a lot of problems in life. Struggling to balance her relationship with her boyfriend whom her evil parents want them to split, she has to deal with me. Ryuu's one of the best friends you could have. Don't get on her bad side though, there is no benefit to that.

    Oh. And she likes to glomp me. A lot.

    You can talk to Ryuu on AIM, her screenname is WingedWindWalker.

    ~AA
  10. Arch-Angel
    My Memorial Day Weekend was...
     
    fun.
     
    Saturday was a beautiful day. So beautiful, I wish I was where the tornadoes were. Its a guilty feeling. I always wanted to know the experience of being at Ground Zero of a tornado disaster. Its a horrible thing to go through I'm sure.
     
    Keep them in your prayers...
     
    I was called up by an old church friend, Saulo. He was a second father to me when I was younger, now more of a good friend. He always invited me to play baseball (and keep in mine we're Brazilian Soccer Natives!) when he remembers, but before I usually had something else planned for the day. Saturday though, I had nothing to do, and I now have a growing love for baseball. Love the sport...
     
    That basically wraps up Saturday in a nut shell.
     
    Sunday was GREAT. Ended beautifully too. I went back to my hometown Maynard for Fellowship Sunday at church (service followed by lunch, maybe a movie, a game of Scribble...) and right after finishing my lunch, I said goodbye and headed downtown...
     
    After passing by some familiar faces, and finding out that both my good friends Tom and Josh weren't home, I decide to try one more person...
     
    Casey was on his grass driveway, finishing up washing his family's car. We talk and et cetera, like the good old days. In a nutshell, I spent the day with him, and found out about the exercise play Wii Sports can bring!
     
    Love boxing...
     
    After a good fun day, I head home and talk to the girl I've been dying to talk to. You know who you are. *coughBionigirlcough*
     
    Yesterday was nothing short but a day to think about the future, as in today. The entire weekend this was the main thought.
     
    What will happen on Tuesday of May 27th?
     
    Nothing.
     
    Absolutely nothing related to the last entry.
     
    I guess the prayer worked. Thank you everyone, and thank God.
     
    ~AA
  11. Arch-Angel
    The passed few days have been the definition of a hollow week.
     
    Yes, I just made that term up. It speaks for itself. Use it.
     
    I, as usual, think, go to school, temporarily go into a coma, make myself look like the the kind of guy you look forward to seeing in class and never hearing from again, come home, talk, and continue my day gaining body fat as I drink a fresh bottle of Diet Pepsi which I miraculously was able to obtain.
     
    A social life.
     
    I wish I could have a social life again!
     
    For any of you out there hating the fact you live in a small town, love it. Because everything is so close, no friend is too far, and if you got the money, the local restaurant is one of your favorite hang-outs.
     
    In bigger towns, they'll ask you five minutes within the first conversation, "You smoke?"
     
    To which I reply, "Nah man. Straight edge."
     
    "Oh."
     
    Social life in big new town (I've technically grew up in as a kid), ciao.
     
    Seriously now, its the saddest thing that for the past 90 years, destroying your body is the most fun a teen can have. I might as well put a .357 on the side on my temple a pull the trigger or learning how to fly off my apartment building's roof (the key is to throw yourself at the ground and miss apparently...). Accept with alcohol, marijuana and everything else in between, its a much slower process.
     
    I had a research paper to do on alcohol (who said I did it?) and I was surprised and happy to know the truth about alcohol's effects on the body. It's literally a poison people.
     
    But I heard plenty of stories... the one that stuck out was at a party, girl passed out and threw up, so they stripped her down and throw her in the shower when the true fact is THEY SHOULD HAVE SEEK MEDICAL FREAKIN' EMERGENCY.
     
    These aren't myths. Truth sucks, thats why we have lies.
     
    I have to say, I'm glad I sacrificed my social life to stay straight edge.
     
     
     
     
    For the past two days, I've been strongly tempted and attempted to kick two certain classmates right in the jaw.
     
    Yes, I was planning to do it. The past two days.
     
    Jeremie believes that I can't kick up to his height.
     
    So I told him to step back and brought my foot to where his jaw was. He said that was up to his chest.
     
    But then again, it wasn't the karate kick I've been practicing with. Roundhouses aren't really my cup of ###-whoopingtea.
     
    What Jeremie and his gorilla amigo Jack do now are 'love taps'. Where they slap me in the butt as if we've been friends playing sports since preschool. First of all, I hardly know the guy. He and Jack have no right to do that to me. I don't know after our talk he'll actually take me seriously, but if he doesn't, like those love taps I'm gonna take a shot at one of their jaws when they least expect it. I don't care if they're being friendly after the love tap, I'm gonna introduce him to some size 10 and a half Reebok plus one foot attached to a Brazilian leg.
     
    And if you know Brazilians, you know our kicks.
     

     
    ~AA
  12. Arch-Angel
    This started out as a simple discussion yesterday that somewhere in the middle ended up as an interview.
     
    NOTE: He wanted me to correct his chat-speak for this one.
     

    Just so you know, Toaraga PMed me.
     
    Speaking of the Moderator, Toaraga's B-Day is.... TODAY!
     

  13. Arch-Angel
    Currently, right now as I start writing this it is 2:50 PM. Here in Kamchatka, Russia its 7:50 AM.
     
    Why am I in Russia?
     
    It just got to the point where I don't count the number of hours I've slept or how late I stayed up.
     
    I'm going by time zones.
     
    Last night was BAD. After waking up at 3:30 PM and going about my day routinely (which was easy since I live on BZP now <<) I try going to sleep. My eyes hurt from reading my book and the lack of light with it, so I figured that was enough.
     
    But my biological clock was like, "Why you wanna sleep? You haven't even been up 12 hours yet. Its like, 5 PM."
     
    "No, its 1 AM, and everything around me shows it. Dark out, mama's snortin', computer's off and I ain't watching TV."
     
    "You're bored, do something."
     
    "I'll shank you."
     
    "You mean yourself."
     
    "I'm becoming schizophrenic."
     
    "But those with schizophrenia don't know they're schizo."
     
    "But if I deny it, I'm leaving myself open for the accusation."
     
    "Heck of a rut we ran into, huh mate?"
     
    "Shut up Jack, you may be one of my personalities, but you aren't called for right now."
     
    Jack Sparrow... don't ask.
     
    I decide to go back on my computer at around 3 AM, for what reason, is unknown. On AIM, I find a conversation with Janus, who's experiencing my problem (the sleeping part, not the not/not schizo) and after I said bonsoir (I got bored on the comp with no one to talk to and nothing to do) I returned to bed, continuously thinking about just everything going on in my life right now. The Father/Son hiatus, school, the reason why I'm up, et cetera. At around 4 AM and going on my computer again ( ) and going back to bed again ( ) I look outside to the sky, see if I can count the stars...
     
    I don't see no stars, only the big one that separates night and day, the freakin' sun.
     
    I curse under my breath (or maybe it was full on not caring who heard me volume) and started thinking as to where my body was in the world. I knew it was on the western side of the world, with Europe, Eurasia, and Asia, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I'd thought I'd make educated guesses at shoot for either England, Israel, and Japan.
     
    I started laughing in sorrow as I heard the morning commute starting.
     
    At 6 AM, I decided to see if a different location would help. The couch was option 1 out of 1. I throw myself on it, and in the most uncomfortable way, sleep.
     
    Around 8 AM my mom finds me, and in my Smeag & Niki feeling (10 points to anyone that gets that) I explain to her I only felt asleep at 6 AM. Love my mom, she cares so much. I felt worry in here.
     
    <3 mi madre.
     
    She told me to sleep on her bed, and if you know her mattress, it'll put you to comatose in under 10 minutes.
     
    Boom, out like a light I go and I wake up at 2:30 PM. My eyes are still sore, and I feel like its 10:30 AM. Oh wait, if you look here IT IS.
     
    I'm gonna take some Advil PM tonight, I really the KO.
     
    ~AA
  14. Arch-Angel
    I missed school today for the simple reasons that one, my mom doesn't want to drive me to school because she's too tired, and two, I woke up at 7, an the bus leaves five minutes before that.
     
    But what I find as one of the most difficult tasks a new kid can have is this.
     
    Finding someplace to sit.
     
    Yes, I do have my fantasies that a table of cute girls call me and I'm back in business flirting, but thats never the case (unless I happen to model, which isn't likely either)
     
    Though there is this cute girl in my Geometry class that had a conversation with...
     
    Anyways, yesterday I sit at the table with the Brazilian(s) I recognize. It isn't easy. I have to wander around for 20 seconds looking like an cool dude with my eyes searching every table. But eventually I found one... too bad the table of Brazilian girls was full.
     
    Another thing, as much as I want to, I don't think it'll happen. I keep talking to Taki about this, I can't keep it out of my mind... I really want a Blog of the Week Award. But I might as well give up and just keep updating this thing.
     
    Over and out...
     

  15. Arch-Angel
    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.

    The past two days haven't exactly been peaceful. I got a virus on my computer which went ahead an downloaded more. Still now, I am still taking care of current viruses. Though I'm feeling better now that most of the stressful ones were taken care of. As the virus search continues, I don't worry 'bout a thing. 'Cause every little thing is gonna be all right.
     
    Today's song is the song my mother sung when she needed to cool down during the Divorce Age. I found the song, and proudly hum it or sing the lyrics quiety as I go.
     
    Three Little Birds by Bob Marley.
     

  16. Arch-Angel
    Today... Black Friday...
     
    All I got was two more things to add to my Christmas/Birthday List (B-Day on Dec. 19th) and I want a Diet Pepsi, and a 2007 Dodge Charger R/T Radio Control scale 1:6 (meaning it six times smaller than actual car) that mp3 player adaptable. Would look beautiful, and not to mention fun to play with in my room, apartment, apartment floor, parking lot, garage, the highway (maybe not) or any other flat surfaces.
     
    Thing is, its 80 bucks.
     
    But that shall not bring me down!
     
    Another thing, Black Friday is a hoax. All they were actually selling were fake Christmas trees at 200 and 300 bucks. Thats my week's pay full time back in the summer! Only thing I got on sale was the book 'I Am Legend' that was made into a movie by Will Smith (Coming out Dec. 14th), and I hear it follows the book accurately enough, unlike 'I,Robot' (which the book sucked) and I got me a Hot Wheel's 99 cent Dodge Charger SRT8 1:64 just to make me feel better.
     
    Anywho, whats truly ticking me off is the live event in Boston on Dec. 11th. Its WWE Smackdown! and ECW on the same night, and three tickets are 155 bucks! Should've bought them this morning when they were closer and cheaper!
     
    Around this time of year, all that matter is the money...
     
    Gotta find a job...
     
    COMMENT ME!!
     

     

  17. Arch-Angel
    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    Come on people, I know you know that you have songs for this blog. Necro has been a real big help in this.
     

     
    Sunshine of your Love by Cream
     
    ~AA

  18. Arch-Angel
    The way my life is going, I feel like a fish out of water. So long my life has had tradegy. So long, I've faced pain and trouble.
     
    But now... what's going on?
     
    I feel out of my territory. I'm not in the Bottomless Pit of my life. I feel like I'm wasting my life away.
     
    I miss my friends. If I didn't have problems to speak of, they did. Mi Amigos, all of them. Especially my friend, Josh. He is like a brother to me. Heck, we joke together about how we're going to be Tag Team Champions on the WWE. And how I'm going to be The World Heavyweight Champion and all, and he's gonna beat me for it. We laugh on and on...
     
    But now... I miss him like family.
     
    The thing is... I can't find peace within my peace.
     
    I have no fun, I have no true happiness, and I have no problem.
     
    I know someone is going to say, "Enjoy it while it lasts." But I can't enjoy it. I'm not in my element. Its like an imbalance in my life.
     
    I have more Yang then I do Yin right now, and I hate it.
     

     
     
  19. Arch-Angel
    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     

     
     
    Where The Streets Have No Name by U2
     
    ~AA
  20. Arch-Angel
    That picture...
     
    *sigh*
     
    There is a guy in my Lifetime Activies class (an elective) who messes around me.
     
    Why?
     
    Who knows.
     
    He(Jeremy) and his friend Jack have been pulling at my nerves for a while. We finished archery, but yesterday they just reached the limit.
     
    Jack starts poking me with the bow from behind, I turn around and push away the bow, fake a roundhouse close to his face and Jeremy came around and took his bow and stuck it in my butt. He ran away a bit as soon as I turned around and Jack tried to imitate the same thing. Then Ms. Sowa, our teach, got everything needed done and we offically started class.
     
    Today, before class, he came by and teased me yet again about wearing the same thing. I don't sweat in archery, and haven't since I've started wearing the dark green tee and shorts in the middle of our time spent in archery, included with either knee braces or Ace bandage (which I'm still wearing around both knees). My friend Jon defended me, asking why they tease people. Jeremy said he only teased me, and I told him if he continued to tease me, I would kick his face off. He said he'd love to see me do that with my messed up knees.
     
    I almost did. 80% of me was going to do it.
     
    Well, self restraint continues to stay strong... for now...
     
    ~AA
  21. Arch-Angel
    Saturday:
     
    Mom got mad. Very mad. I thought I got it from Dad's side of the family, but apparently my mother takes the cake.
     
    She wanted to spend "Quality Time" with her "Family".
     
    If you know my opinon on this being a family, then it would be easier for you to follow.
     
    My sister and I both disgreed with my mom to go to beach in Rhode Island an hour and a half away. Its too long, and it isn't worth the trip. Its a record high day, the beach WILL be crowded, and three hours of it will be spent go there and back.
     
    And she gets mad.
     
    We end up going to have breakfast at a restaurant, Bickford's(at 1 PM) and lunch at a Friendly's which took a near hour to get our food. And while I was eating, a dsable woman was staring at my plate the entire time, a foot away(glass window thingy sparated us from the table as is Friendly's style)
     
    It was a completely loss. Before Friendly's, we went shopping at TJ Maxx to pass the time and digest a crummy breakfast. And after Lunch/Dinner, got me some new sneakers.
     

     
    Something like those.
     
    Sunday:
     
    Spent the whole day waiting to watch Summer Slam on Pay-Per-View at my friend's house.
     
    It was worth the 40 bucks (I didn't spend) to watch!
     
    The matches were great, and only left one and a half disappointments. Umaga didn't lose his Intercontinetal title, which wouldn't bother me. But Batista won the match via disqualifition! The titles can't switch hands unless its by pin fall or submission. The Great Kahli knew this, and in fear of losing the title, hit Batista with a chair to the back to lose, yet retain.
     
    But best of all, John Cena made me five bucks richer when he beat Randy Orton!
     

     
    Yep... it was a great moment...
     
    Monday:
     
    I woke up at 12 PM, which isn't my choice in time with school starting tomorrow, and I've coming back at around 11 from Monday Night Raw isn't going to help. I'm going to get ready to leave to buy a poster, and get some exercise also.
     
    I hope lost noticeable weight this summer...
     
    Well, bye y'all!
     

  22. Arch-Angel
    Why hasn't anyone made a song?
    That can fit my heart
    Give hope
    For a brand new start
     
    That can make me whole...
    Again...
     
    I had my love
    break me for
    Happiness...
     
    Sweet as an angel
    From the heavens above
    She broke me
    So I could
    love...
     
    Over the mountains
    Through the seas
    I know that she
    can see me
    crying on my knees
    because she has
    set me
    free.
     
    Never shall I forget that day
    When we broke up, in a loving way
    My heart smashed
    My drink turned ash
     
    And I laid... shattered...
     
    Over the mountains
    Through the seas
    I know that she
    can see me
    crying on my knees
    because she has
    set me
    free.
     
    The sun shined
    weeks on end
    But the rain pouring
    on my head
     
    Single and
    Hating it
    Every single moment
    I live.
     
    Over the mountains
    Through the seas
    I know that she
    can see me
    crying on my knees
    because she has
    set me
    free.
     
    I'm still young
    I've got time
    love is there
    for me to find
    but search is hard
    a painful task
    who can see me
    under the mask?
     
    Not those girls
    They see lies
    A dove outside
    a crow inside
    Lying through my heart
    am I
     
    Over the mountains
    Through the seas
    I know that she
    can see me
    crying on my knees
    because she has
    set me
    free.
     
    Over the mountains
    Through the seas
    I know that she
    can see me
    crying on my knees
    because she has
    set me
    free.
  23. Arch-Angel
    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    Today's song goes out to all the Maj users out there.
     
    Kinda in a way to rub it in yo face. >=)
     
    -SZ-, you and I probably find this one a favorite...
     
    So Long and Thanks for all he Fish by The Dophins of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
     
    So long and thanks for all the pics
    So sad that it should come to this
    We tried to warn you all but oh dear
     
    You may not share our intellect
    Which might explain your disrespect
    For the photobucket images
    all around you
     
    So long, so long and thanks
    for all the pics
     
    Brickshelf's about to be destroyed
    There's no point getting all annoyed
    Lie back and let the files dissolve
     
    Despite those pics of 'mazing art
    We thought that most of you were smart
    Especially tiny avs and your
    chibi MOCee's
     
    So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
    So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
     
    So long, so long and thanks
    for all the pics
     
    (yeah)
     
    So long and thanks for all the pics
    So sad that it should come to this
    We tried to warn you all but oh dear
     
    (oh dear)
     
    Despite those pics of 'mazing art
    We thought that most of you were smart
    Especially tiny avs and your
    chibi MOCee's
     
    So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
    So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
     
    So long, so long and thanks
    for all the pics!
     
    ~AA
  24. Arch-Angel
    It seems unavoidable. And I see it coming.
     
    Once its close to fall, everyone is falling in love.
     
    Maybe its called "Fall" not for the leaves afterall.
     
    Anyways, I might as well tell you about the girl.
     
    This girl is new this year, and she's cute. Everyone keep telling me how hot she is and all, but don't like her for that. Heck, I don't think I like like her at all for that matter.
     
    I'll tell you how it started first off.
     
    First day of school, everyone is talking about this new brazilian girl and how she's hot and all.
    I'm thinking,"Okay, I bet I can spot her right off the bat."
    I can. And I do. You should know (read first blog entry).
    She can understand very little English, and that goes for her speech too. When she sat behind me in History, and tried to tell the teacher about her Language difficulty, I turn around, and in a cool way, asked in Portuguese,"Brazilian huh?"
     
    She sighed in relief,"Finally!"
     
    From what I learned then on was great. She's 17, lived in America for two months, formerly lived in a city south of my Brazilian State Sao Paulo, and she likes Big Macs! Not a fan of the latter, but there is more to her.
     
    Thing is, I haven't known her long enough. I maybe street bred, but I'm different from the other guys. I like(d) Bionicle, I like to read, I like to get to know a girl first.
     
    Maybe BZP only know the true me.
     
    But to tell you all the truth, I haven't felt feelings for a girl since the beginning of July. I've felt empty.
     
    I feel... Fearless.
     
    Maybe thats why I welcome danger with a open hand.
     
    If I die like this, then I go with little regret.
     

  25. Arch-Angel
    We're in Manhattan, New York City. The air is cold, the snow hasn't fell, and Christmas was going on with or without the traditional weather. The Bar and Grill was packed. The warm air, the fake wood settings, the music in the background no one is listening to, and not to mention the food is great.
     
    My mom, sister, and I sit next to the entrance, next to many people we don't know but hey, its Christmas.
     
    Some of my friends are around, but only the ones I barely talk to. Juan just walked out of the bathroom, Steph is on the other side of the restaurant eating with her family. Judging by the big smile on her face, she's having a good time.
     
    I then see him at the table next to hers, alone, looking at me.
     
    Ignoring it was hard, but I tried my best. He was the last person I wanted to see on Christmas.
     
    He comes behind my mom, surprising her, and pulls up a chair. He starts talking like nothing happened. My mom and sister are without facial expression. The words coming out of his mouth were amazing. Amazing in a way that he's actually got the guts to say it.
     
    "Dad, if you don't leave now, I'm going beat the #### out of you."
     
    "You can't do that!" He laughs, "I'm your dad! You couldn't hurt me!"
     
    I get up from my seat, pushing the table in front of me.
     
    "You want to go, #####? Huh? I'll kick your ### right now!"
     
    He looks surprised, almost like he didn't understand.
     
    I stand on my seat, jump over my mom who's blocking my way out and I ask the question again. He gets up and tries to leave through the door. I kick him between the legs unsuccessfully and then reach my arm around and punch him in the privates. He stops, absorbing the pain and backs into the side of the door with hinges. The effect of the shot was still there, and I took advantage. I punched the right side of his face. Felt like I did nothing. I did it again. Nothing. Again and again, I continued it, letting out every ounce of hate I had to him for that night. Two years I've been waiting to do this, and I finally got him.
     
    I stopped, and he goes to the door instantly and disappears in the darkness of the night.
     
     
     
    The Explorer rode down Manhattan like all the other cars, peaceful and causally. Sure, there wasn't any snow, but no one was openly complaining.
     
    The flashing lights on the other lane instantly told me the story.
     
    My mom finds a bridge connecting to the other side, and I already know what happened. The police grab me and push me to the side of a building and interrogate me, somehow knowing who I was. I answer their questions, and I'm let go.
     
    The next day, during breakfast in our hotel room, I asked how dad was after the accident last night. Sis told me why he was drinking. He was drunk because he thought the only person in the world the still loved him now hated him. Mom told me he purposely drove into the other car, in an attempt at suicide. He succeeded.
     
    I go outside the hotel building and start screaming in sadness. It was my fault. All of it.
     
    I go on my sister's laptop, head onto BZP. My blog has changed. Somehow my account was hacked and a noob was having a field day humiliating me.
     
    Go on AIM, IM Kex, ask him to tell B6 to ban me.
     
    I log off, and never sign on again.
     
    I woke up. It was 1 PM. My mind was rushing.
     
    Did it happen?
     
    I spent the next five minutes on the bed, still thinking.
     
    It felt all real.
     
    My mom beeps her car outside, and I move the shades, window being right next to my bed.
     
    I go downstairs, open the lobby door for her, and she's a little angry I was still sleeping.
     
    We go into the apartment, I give her the story in short terms, and I cry.
     
    I cried, and cried and cried. I killed my dad in a dream, on Christmas 2008. I had my head on her shoulder as she hugged me tight, continuing to tell me it was only a dream.
     
    I felt like I did it. Was it just thoughts in my head or desires of my heart?
     
    I have yet to crack a smile today. I don't think I want to.
     
    I can't look my mom in the eye for some reason. Am I ashamed to do so? I don't think I can look at anyone's face right now. I just can't.
     
    ~AA
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