Jedi Knight Krazy

I can second the need for proof-reading - some parts of these were actually difficult to read and ambiguous due to the errors.

This was a really good chapter! During the first half, I was getting bored, but I think that was the point, because the main character was bored too, even if for different reasons; it's always a good thing when the reader feels the same way as a character. Then Val came in, which launched a comical, entertaining conversation that took an even more interesting turn because the things that Joe avoided mentioning were the only things I actually knew about him at that point - which meant that a lot of other aspects of his character came out, but his lies were comically obvious (as a reader).

I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes... most interestingly to me , what's got Silver concerned about Joe's date? (Besides the usual immortal-loves-mortal disaster seen in every fantasy ever)

I really enjoyed this. It's interesting how you can write so much about the nature of death with a character (or several characters) who are immortal. The generic names give the story a slight fairy-tale quality, but not in a way that's unrealistic - it makes you wonder if this actually is the original Joe Schmoe, for example, and the reason we consider Joe Schmoe to be a silly made-up name is that we've heard cliches, based on myth, based on legend, based on the real person. It's almost Harry Potter-like in that respect, in that it defines the cliche rather than merely participating.

I have a couple of critiques:

• There seems to be a bit of a typo: "She was immortal purely by the virtue of not again." I can't fathom what this means, so I can only guess that it was mean to end with "not dying".
  
• John Silver seems like a perfectly level-headed individual at first, until he starts throwing temper tantrums. You use calm, controlled language to describe his actions, which makes his first outburst (kicking the wall and screaming) seem to come out of nowhere. It's really jarring. I think you missed a lot of an opportunity to show a growing resentment for Smith's actions, especially since this is a first-person story.
  
• Would Smith's response to pain really be apathy to that level? I logically know that I won't die from most of my own injuries, but it doesn't stop me from emphatically avoiding the pain and responding with anger to anyone that might happen to be causing it. Smith clearly can feel pain (he complains about being sore, and the embers in his face makes him wake up), so his apathy when Silver is attacking him doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
  

...Why is ATGC written on the wall? I don't remember Marie writing it...

She did write it, earlier in the game; when people were talking about DNA sequence or so.

 

JKK: 4. We tried that. =P

If I remember right, you just skipped the keys that didn't click, you didn't actually transpose the music.

And yeah, the DNA was just silliness.

1. Have we established that Lloth is possessing Marie? IIRC, there's still serious debate over that.

6. The soda is gone stop asking about it.

1. Established was probably the wrong word, but at this point it seems to be the most likely scenario to me. Point is, Marie's not hurt, and we should be asking who we just told her to kill.

6. My mistake, I thought that it was in the blender after they retrieved the key.

Another Marie theory: It's possible that she's a robot built from the old Marie's memories and personality. See Terminator: Salvation. That would explain why she listens to us, we're her operators! She won't go against anything DADDY said because it's her programming. It would explain the static and text corruption in fizzle mode. Plus, the whole "Progress blocked/remove block" thing was eerily robot-like.

Edit: And av, I don't think it's marble because a while back, Marie specifically held it in her hand to see if it would eventually warm up. It didn't.

(Granted, if she's a robot, or dead, she wouldn't have any body heat to warm it up)

Hey, I'm new to this. Reading through the entire topic in two days, I had a lot of ideas.

1. (Most recently) I don't think that's Marie's blood in the crate room. Think about it... "Progress blocked." We told her to "remove the block". Then there was blood. We've already established that Marie is probably possessed by this Lloth. She just killed somebody.

2. We're in fizzle mode right now, yet the game is playable. Don't you think we should go investigate the places that were different in the last fizzle mode?

3. Why is some blood black and some blood red in this game? I understand not.

4. Remember that sheet music and the piano? Why not transpose it to fit on the clicking keys?

5. When you got the fizzle-hint to open Ruby, the red symbol inside looked a lot like that red diamond on the creepy drawing in the room next to the piano room. Maybe we should check that out?

6. Gato has told us that we can't drink the Titanium Pure Energy because it's warm (and old). Why not chill it with the Coolstone? Worth a shot.

Hey, quick tip on the trial (Ah, too late, you bought it, oh well)

Play Singleplayer in Offline mode! It saves your 7 hours for playing the good stuff like multiplayer.

Desktop: Windows 7, nVidia GTS 250 512MB

And quite happy with it.

Incorrect: Bionicle Rex "likes vakama horkida!!!!!1" Vakama Horkida is not the same as Vakama Hordika... ++Krazy++