Great attempt. Don't see how the neck is too wide, it's very natural imho. The only real problem I'd find with it is that the ear sticks out too much from the hair. I'd say to cover it a bit more.
Your style of drawing is awesome. The subjects look most like mutants, distorced beings (in a good way). I'd say that the only improvement would be shadings... but I do know they are a pain in the... um... you know.