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Hello, all! And welcome to AFTERMATH 3 A New Chapter of Trials This story takes place 2,400 years after Aftermath 2's ending, on two different planets, Planet Argnok and Planet Delarax. Chapters will alternate between the two planets. Planet Argnok: A world where, according to legend, all technology mysteriously vanished 2,400 years ago, this society is attempting to build itself back up to the standards of where it was before. The only life on this planet is located on a number of closely clustered islands floating on top of a quick-sand ocean. Planet Delarax: The Resistance, led by Toa Mesonak, continues to fight against the Dark Lord, a villain who has overrun the universe with a plague called Xenon. Despite rumors that Mesonak died several thousand years ago, he remains the largest opponent to the Dark Lord today. What mysteries lie behind Mesonak's supposed resurrection? Once again, Aftermath is an epicomedy of sorts, but I've decided to take a different approach to it this time, with the main humorous components of the comedy contained in character interactions instead of set pieces, allowing for the story to flow more evenly. It's an interesting experiment, so we'll find out how it goes. Hope you enjoy! Chapter 1, Argnok: A New Beginning "It has been said that you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Well, there was a third option, actually. Retire a hero and live the rest of your life in ease-ish. So went the story of the famed Toa JL. More than two thousand years ago, he took part in the efforts of a group to bury a legendary plague below the surface of this planet. Covered it entirely in a sea of quick sand. After doing so, he used the last of his power to lift several islands off the covered surface and send them floating upwards, creating a viable location to live for us villagers." "Oh, come on, mate. You don't believe those silly kind of stories, do ya?" "…no. I can't say I do. I wish I did, but it all seems far too unlikely to have actually happened." "Good. Ha. Was about to take ya out for a walk in the common sense park! Ha! Get it! Common sense park…man I'm funny." Vardan grabbed his sword and headed towards the exit of the arena. He had recently passed what was referred to as "the exam," or the test that all Matoran were required to pass in order to be granted the power of Toa. Garu, his longtime mentor and friend, would be proud. "Ha. Where ya going?" a grating voice called out. "I'm not quite done with ya yet!" Vardan turned around, and looked back at the Matoran. The odd fellow with the bizarre accent only referred to himself as "Rocket Matoran," and always carried an excessive amount of explosive devices with him. Despite the fact that he had his power as a Toa stripped from him years ago for "acts of vandalism involving rocket launchers," he still found a way to survive. "What is it?" Vardan asked, half exasperated. The new Toa of Fire had just finished a day of training in order to get used to his new powers, and was looking forward to doing nothing for a while. "I was wondering, mate, if you wouldn't mind helpin' me catch a criminal." "A..criminal?" "Yeah, mate. There's been a group of armed Matoran on the loose the past few nights. Robbing stores. Stealing things. Ya know." "No…I don't know." "Ah. Well, shame. Anyways, they're supposed to be meeting, of all places, here tonight." "…in the arena?" "Ya mate. Crazy, right?" "…sure…crazy…whatever." "Anyways, I'm going to camp out here and wait for them. Would you care to wait with me?" "Wait…for…how long again?" "Just until nightfall." "…that's…a really long time." "Nah, mate. We'll just sit in here and hide. Like this!" And with that, the Matoran leapt inside an oil drum sitting nearby and crouched inside. Vardan stood there, somewhat confused. "Wait! I know! I'll just hide in here and do a stake-out!" the Matoran exclaimed, getting excited. "…I think you'll probably just get arrested." "…" "In fact, you may not even have to hide in the drum to get arrested." "What do you mean? I'm not suspicious, mate!" the Matoran fired back, hopping out of the oil drum. Vardan sighed and moved back towards the exit. "Goodbye, Rocket Matoran." "Aw, that's how it is, huh? All right then! But don't come crying to me when you get robbed too! You'll be crying back here, and whining about how they stole your nail polish, and I'll tell you, 'Too bad, mate!' and you'll be like, 'but please, Mr. Rocket!,' and I'll be like-" "I don't HAVE nail polish!" Vardan shouted back, heading through the door and closing it behind him. "…man…nuts…and I really wanted to sit in this barrel, too." Vardan left the arena and headed back towards his house. When he got there, he was surprised to find another Matoran waiting for him. "Hello there!" the Matoran called. "Would you happen to know who lives at this residence?" "…yes." "Might I ask their name?" "You might, yes. "…" "…" "….who is it, then?" "It's me." The Matoran seemed taken aback, but regained his composure and continued. "Well then, sir! Might I interest you in our latest product?" "You might, yes." "It's a brand new bottle of nail polish! Look!" "…on second thought, you probably won't." "Aw, come on, mister!" the Matoran cried, her attempted air of professionalism crumbling before Vardan. "I waited here so long for someone to come to this house, and-" Vardan sighed. "Aren't you supposed to be selling nail polish to females, anyway?" "Well…yes, but…" "And there's one more problem," Vardan said, outstretching his hand. "I don't have any nails." "…but…but! It could be a great display item! On your shelf!" "Yes," Vardan muttered. "What self respecting masculine Toa wouldn't want his friends coming in and noticing a bottle of fingernail polish on his shelf?" "I knew you'd come around!" the Matoran interjected, her voice suddenly perking up. "How many bottles can I put you down for?" "Bottles?" Vardan asked. "I haven't even agreed to buy one yet!" "But..but…but…BUT! If you don't, then all this time will have gone for not-" The Matoran's sentence was interrupted by the sound of a large explosion. Vardan turned in the direction of the sound, noticing a pile of smoke rising from a building located several blocks away. "Picked a great day to become a Toa," Vardan mumbled sarcastically, as he took off towards the explosion. "Wait! Where are you going?" called the Matoran. "I haven't finished selling things to you yet!" "Did you not hear the explosion? I'm going to find out what that was!" Vardan responded, not taking the time to look back. "Ooh! An explosion? Where? I'm coming with you?" Vardan didn't hear the Matoran's response. By that time, he was already well out of hearing range. "…wait! Come back! I still have to sell you something, explosion or not! Hey! Did you know that nail polish is great for covering up explosion marks?" Vardan was the first Toa to arrive on the scene. After shoving aside several Matoran, he stumbled into a building filled with smoke, keeping his sword in his right hand while attempting to clear a path of vision with the other. "Hello? Anyone here?" He called out, attempting to fight his way through the large haze. "Is there anyone in here who needs help?" A low, mumbled grunt came from the back. "…hello?" Vardan asked again. "Was that someone? Hellloo-" A black flash suddenly flew through the air, knocking Vardan down. The Fire Toa spun up and whirled around in the opposite direction, to find himself in front of a large, black form, carrying a large sword and sprouting several tentacles. "Oh no…" Vardan said, half to himself. The being he was staring directly at was a Shade, a dark armored Toa that had lost their mind for unknown reasons. Despite lacking intelligence, these beings were often much stronger than an average Toa. Meeting one right off the bat was a nightmare for Vardan. Despite the Fire Toa's obvious fear, he stood up, and pointed his sword at the Shade. "…get back…" he ordered, his voice trembling. "If you don't, then we'll…we'll…" The Shade, oddly enough, seemed to obey. He turned around and walked right out of the building. Just when Vardan thought that he had managed to scare it off, however, the Shade grabbed a Matoran standing by, and lifted the helpless villager into the air." "Aaaaahhhh!!" the Matoran screamed. Vardan rushed forward, and the Shade took off running, the Matoran still in hand. Vardan continued in pursuit of the Shade against better judgment, knowing that he would likely lose badly in combat if it came to that. Still, something bothered him. This Shade's actions made no sense. All of the Shade's he had heard of had gone out of their way to attack Toa and Matoran, even against ridiculous odds. Why would one who clearly held the advantage suddenly flee? The Fire Toa shook off his doubts and sprinted faster. He would have time to consider these things later. He had a kidnapper to catch up with. -MT
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"Hello everyone! Tahu here, with my faithful companion Xplode!" "Faithful as long as you're paying me." "Right. Exactly. Well, we're here to announce something very exciting today!" "Super exciting." "Yep. So exciting, that Xplode is...literally...putting no effort into this at all." "...did you want me to throw confetti or something?" "At least make it sound like you care." "What exactly denotes caring?" "...I dunno...put some emotion into it. Yell a bit. Sound excited." *sigh* "...very well. A-HEM!" "..." "HEY GUYS! WE'RE DOING SOMETHING REALLY EXCITING TODAY! WOOOOOOOOOPPP!!" "..." "...I...feel foolish." "Right. Well, anyways, we're here with another one of our brilliant money making ideas! And, once again...we may or may not have stolen it from video games." "After our less than successful attempt to sell an Aftermath: 'Comedy of the Year' edition to you, we decided to pick up where we left off and give this another shot." "Only this time, it's much better! Because it's LIMITED." "Indeed, Tahu. Right now, we are offering a super exclusive LIMITED EDITION Aftermath 3, which you can pre-order now!" "This limited edition set comes with...the DIRECTOR'S CUT edition of Aftermath 3." "Which includes PMs of all MT's hilarious grammar mistakes that he edits out, as well as some of those painfully terrible ideas he had for A3 originally." "It also includes links to all of the images MT shamelessly ripped off Google in order to make banners and character designs!" "Needless to say, he wasn't a big fan of the idea. What else do we have, Tahu?" "Well, you'll also get the COMPLETE ORCHESTRATED SOUNDTRACK TO AFTERMATH 3!" "Which...considering it's a text comedy...doesn't include much." "IT DOES INCLUDE FULLY VOICED ONOMONOPIAS, though! You'll get a burned CD in the mail with some of the BEST voice acting you've heard in your life! At least...assuming the only piece of media you've ever encountered before is Metroid: Other M." "But that's not all, is it, Tahu?" "Heck no! It's not! You'll get the complete A3 ARTBOOK!" "...which, again, has nothing in it since it's a text comedy." "AND you'll get a complete limited edition statue of one of the new heroes!" "What does this new hero look like? YOU'LL HAVE TO BUY THE LIMITED EDITION TO FIND OUT!" "So, just in case we haven't convinced you that this set is a GREAT deal...let's recap all that you get! First: The DIRECTOR'S CUT of Aftermath 3!" "Which is MT's bad ideas." "The ORCHESTRATED SOUNDTRACK!" "Quite possibly the only orchestrated soundtrack ever to not require an orchestra." "The COMPLETE ARTBOOK!" "Without any art." "AND AN AWESOME STATUE OF THE NEW HERO! ME!" "Which is-wait what?" "Uh...oh. Whoops. I wasn't supposed to spoil that, was I?" "...you WHAT?!" "Yeah. I'm actually the main hero of A3 after all. Guess I wasn't supposed to leak that yet, huh?" "You CAN'T be the main hero of A3! It takes place like two thousand years in the future! You'll be a dysfunctional pile of recycled plastic by then!" "WHAT? TWO THOUSAND YEARS LATER?! WHY?!" "Dunno. The reason's probably in the director's cut for A3." "..." "Sorry, Tahu. Don't think you'll be appearing in it." "...ha! You think that's gonna stop me? A mere span of time! Forget it!" "...where are you going?" "To the freezer! I'm going to stick myself in cryostasis until two thousand years are up!" "...wait...what? The freezer won't last that long!" "..." "...nuts. He's already gone. Well, information's below, people! ORDER NOW! Hey, Tahu! Wait!" ======= TO ORDER YOUR EXTREMELY LIMITED EDITION AFTERMATH 3 NOW, CALL THE TOLL FREE NUMBER WITH YOUR OR A NEIGHBOR'S CREDIT CARD BELOW! 1-800-567-SCAM OR MAIL A CHECK FOR $13.37 TO 12345 PORT TOWN DRIVE, HYRULE, PLANET ZEBES ZIP: 86753-09 ORDER NOW! -MT
