Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'TBTTRAH'.
Found 9 results
-
The following is...well...a comedy. It's also a how to guide, but it's a comedy at heart. Or at least it thinks it is. Regardless of what it's defined as, read it to get to know the new BZP by the person who's been beta testing it. And by that I mean I've been on here ever since it came back. And by that I mean I've been here once or twice. So I don't know that much. Sorry. ====== Pridak: Hello today, everyone, and welcome back to the....new...sorta...BZP. Tahu: 'Tis wonderful to be back. Even with this new layout that was designed by someone who is very bad at it. Pridak: Hey now. I like it. Tahu: Oh yeah, there you go. When Pridak likes it, you know it's gotta be bad. Pridak: What's that supposed to mean? Tahu: Nothing. It means nothing. At all. Literally. Pridak: ... Tahu: AT ALL. Pridak: Anyways, we're here today to help get you up to date on some of BZP's new features, at least comedy wise. Tahu: First off is the archive. Not really new, since, y'know, it's old, but still noteworthy news. News about old stuff. Pridak: Shouldn't it be olds then? Instead of news? Tahu: ....no. Pridak: Why no- Tahu: This archive contains everything posted since BZP began, minus that which was destroyed in the dataclysm. It is obviously unpostable in, so for those of you that had, hmm, I don't know, a 1800 post 300 chapter + comedy going....well...sucks to be you. Pridak: He's rather bitter. Tahu: I am not. Pridak: The only big thing to point out here is that if you visit the archives, you will automatically be logged out when you return to the new BZP forums. Kinda annoying, but oh well. Tahu: Especially when you made your password 27 characters long. And you're only about 7 inches tall, so it takes you 12 minutes to type your password in the first place. Pridak: One of the next things we noticed is the new "following" button. It is in the top right corner of every topic, and people can "follow" topics. My guess this will become a new standard for judging comedy's popularity. Tahu: For those of you that want to give it a test run, head over to Aftermath 2, our comedy, and try it out. Actually, everyone do it, just to make sure you've got it down. Pridak: Brilliant way to make sure it works. Not that it wouldn't, but, you know, you want to anyway... Tahu: The individual forums themselves also have these sorts of "following" thingies. So enjoy BZP while it's still BZP, before it gets turned into...*shudder*...a social networking site. Pridak: We sit and eagerly await the "like" button. Tahu: Another cool feature we noticed was the new "reply notification." This will let you know when someone replies to a topic you've followed, or replies to a post you made. So for those of you who loved the RPG forum, but hated sitting there and reloading the page every 10 seconds to see if someone else responded...well...you have an early Christmas. Pridak: Back to new features you can find on most social networking sites, the personal messenger can also have multiple-people conversations. A cool idea for people who want to, say, plan a mass takeover of BZP. Tahu: Or just for people who don't like typing in other people's names and then pasting a PM that they want to send out to a group of people. Pridak: That's what I said. Tahu: I broadened it. Pridak: Whatever. Tahu: The last big thing to note is that, when posting topics, the "description" bar has been replaced with a "tag" bar. In essence, this allows you to "tag" topics into certain groups, similar to Wikipedia. Pridak: The idea is that you can search for all topics "tagged" with a certain word, and all the topics with that tag will show up, making finding what you want a bit easier. Although I will miss those description bars... Tahu: Miss them? How in the world will you miss them? All they ever were was some quote from the person's comedy. "Bob and Fred's Adventure! Description: "Look, Bob, a sandwich!" Pridak: ... Tahu: ...what? Pridak: And I thought I was in a bad mood. Ah well. That concludes our study of new items for today, people. If we find anything else interesting we'll post it here. -MT
-
K so, back in the days of old(and by that I mean April) I managed to glean some information that BZP's old forums would be...well...gone. Turned into archives, in other words. So I had quite a bit of time to...well...write a sequel to Aftermath, which was my very successful comedy on BZP before the server went down.I did so, and wrote a number of chapters for it to get a head start while I had free time. Point of all this being...if you request to be a GS, and then don't get any parts for a while...well...that's why.And of course all of this comedy series business was started by the original The Bionicles Try To Run A House, which was launched back in 2007 and was closed down in 2009. A1 ran from TBTTRAH's ending to now, and A2 picks up where A1 left off.CHAPTER INDEX(Thanks to Hubert for going to the effort to organize this): Prologue...There’s a certain legend that tells about a group of Bionicles. These toys weren’t really a being in the purest sense of the word, but they were existant just the same(whatever that means). They managed to come to life one day, about 8 years ago, and escaped from their confines in Legoland, California, to eventually come to live at a house in the southeast region of the United States.The Bionicles lived in what could be loosely defined as peace, led by a Tahu and a Tahu Nuva set. The group met friends over the years, including a Toa team called the Zehvor, a bunch of sadistic Barraki and Piraka led by the irritiable Pridak, and even a giant seemingly stuffed turtle that only went by the name “Omega.”...Chapter 1: Re-OpeningAt the house...On the back deck...Pridak: ....mmeeeehhhhh...Zaktan: Hey guys! (walks down the stairs to the deck)Xplode: ?Pridak: ...oh....it’s him.Xplode: Who?Pridak: Zaktan.Xplode: What’s wrong with Zaktan?Pridak: ...well....he’s....umm....hmmm.....Xplode: He’s......what?Pridak: He’s kinda...well....um....he’s a few peanuts short of a Planter’s factory.Xplode: ...what?Pridak: Y’know, he’s...um....he’s a few coins short of a 1-Up.Xplode: ...Pridak: He’s retarted.Xplode: Oh.Zaktan: Hey everyone...why the long faces?Xplode: We’re a little...annoyed...at this.Zaktan: ....annoyed at what?Pridak: Pulling the pool cover off.Zaktan: What?Xplode: Tahu assigned me to work with this moron to help pull the pool cover off and get it ready for summer. Summer’s just around the corner, you know.Zaktan: Yes, I’m aware that it is.Pridak: ...how in the world would you have any clue about the date?Zaktan: The wonderful invention called the “calender” enlightened me.Pridak: ....ah.Tahu: Hey! Pridak!Pridak: ...(looks up towards the back door)...yeah?Tahu: How’s it going?Xplode: Depends on what your expectations for our progress are.Pridak: If you expected him to be stupid, you won’t be disappointed.Xplode: Don’t make me push you in another fireplace.Tahu: ...well....um....I’m not one for huge expectations, but I was more or less hoping, y’know, that you two had at least moved the cover somewhat.Pridak: Oh, so all we have to do is move it a tiny bit? Very well. (walks over to the pool cover, still covering the pool)Tahu: ...Pridak: (shoves the pool cover an inch to the left)Xplode: ...Pridak: ...there. Moved. We’re done now, right?Tahu: You set your expectations too low.Pridak: And yet, I’m never disappointed.Tahu: Well, I’m going inside. (starts walking towards the door) Keep up the good work, or, in your case, start the good work.Xplode: You’re just going to leave me with this retard?Tahu: Yep. I’ve got a meeting.Pridak: With who? Who could possibly be more important then me?Tahu: (turns around) Well, for starters, there’s Takadox, Ehlek, Kopaka, Gali, Lewa, Hydraxon, Nocturn, Carapar, Hakann, Jaller, Hahli, Matoro, Kongu, Kopeke, Macku, Vakama, Nokama, Matau, Kalmah, Thok, Vezok, Vezon, Fenrakk, Umbra, Pohatu, Onu-Zaktan: I think you’ve made your point.Pridak: ...Tahu: ...oh.Pridak: Man...I’m like...depressed now.Tahu: Well, apologies for making you feel insignificant.Xplode: I accept on his behalf. But you still haven’t told us who this big meeting is with.Tahu: ...oh, right! I’m meeting with Toa MT and Hydraxon. We’re discussing potential vacation plans.Xplode: ...vacation?Pridak: Ooh! Yay! Yay! Not depressed anymore!Tahu: Well, good for you. Maybe when you finish pulling that pull cover off, you can come along. (heads inside the house)Xplode: ...Zaktan: ...Pridak: ...man....now I’m all depressed again.Inside...Brenmac: ....oh, the mail’s here.Ackar: Indeed it is.Levacius: What’s in it!? What’s in it?!Ackar: Hold on, hold on. Sheesh, are all you Zehvor this impatient?Levacius: No, just the ones of us that have packages coming in the mail.Brenmac: What package do you have coming?Levacius: Something very important.Brenmac: ....like?Levacius: Like you’re not allowed to know. Until it gets here, that is.Brenmac: ....Levacius: Hmm....looks like it didn’t come today.Ackar: Shame. Now can you two move out of the way so that I can bring this mail to Tahu Nuva like he wanted?Levacius: Oh. Yeah. Sorry. (moves out of the way)Ackar: Thank you. (walks down the hall with the mail)Brenmac: ...why are you being so secretive about this package?Levacius: Because it’s a surprise.Brenmac: ....a surprise?Levacius: (nods) Yep. It’s a surprise for Tahu.Brenmac: Oh, don’t tell me this is another one of your birthday surprises.Levacius: ...actually, it is. Why?Brenmac: Cause most of us remember what happened with your LAST surprise. Remember, the car that Tahu thought was possessed and he burned it as a response?Levacius: Meh. Don’t worry. He’ll love this one.Brenmac: You sure?Levacius: Yeah. Trust me. You don’t know Tahu like I do.Brenmac: ...hmm.FLASHBACK(One Year Ago)...Brenmac: ...are you SURE this is a good idea?Levacius: Don’t worry. He’ll love it.Brenmac: ...Levacius: Now, I’ll just stick the talking toucan in the engine, and whenever Tahu says something, he’ll at least have someone to talk back to him!Brenmac: ...I think he’s more liable to go crazy than actually like it.Levacius: Brenmac, trust me. You don’t know Tahu like I do.Brenmac: ...hmm.END OF FLASHBACK...Levacius: ...what is THAT look?Brenmac: Oh, nothing. Just reminiscing...and plotting a way to keep that package from ever reaching you?Levacius: ...what?Brenmac: Nothing.Meanwhile, inside...Tahu: Ah. Glad you could make it.MT: What’s this about, Tahu?Hydraxon: ...yeah.Tahu: Well, you two are the leaders of some of the most influential groups in the household, MT, you being the leader of the Zehvor.MT: ...Tahu: ....and Hydraxon....you being the leader of the association of the mentally retarted.Hydraxon: Hey!Tahu: So, anyways, since your groups will most likely determine how the rest of the house’s inhabitants will react, I figured I’d give you first notice.MT: First notice of what?Tahu: Well....we’re going on vacation.MT: ...cool.Hydraxon: Yeah.Tahu: But not just any vacation. We’re going....to Germany.Hydraxon: WHAT?!?MT: ...Tahu: Yep. We got the tickets purchased, and we’ll be leaving in a little less than a week.MT: ...wow, Tahu...that’s...amazing. You’ve always been so tight-fisted with your money...Hydraxon: I agree, it’s nice to see some generousity from you.Tahu: ...so...you would say you are surprised by this.MT: ...we are rather taken aback, yes.Tahu: I suppose you could say you did Nazi that coming.Hydraxon: ...MT: ...Tahu: :biggrin:MT: ...Hydraxon: ...Tahu: Ok, puns aside, we’re not going to Germany.MT: I knew it.Tahu: Because A: Barely anyone in this house can speak proper English, let alone German, and B: Because there’s no way in heck that we could afford a trip to Germany.MT: ...meh...Hydraxon: ...Tahu: So we’re going back to our luxury resort/hotel in Florida. And hopefully, this time, we won’t have our vacation interrupted by a stupid villain kidnapping me. Sound good?MT: Yeah.Hydraxon: ...Tahu: ....Hydraxon?Hydraxon: I still refuse to speak to you after that stupid pun.Tahu: ...you just talked to me.Hydraxon: (turns to MT) I still refuse to speak to that guy after his terrible pun.MT: ...Hydraxon: (whispers) Relay the message.MT: (turns back to Tahu) The honorable Mr. Hydraxon would like to inform you that he has undergone a vow of silence due to the-Tahu: I heard.MT: Just making you aware.Tahu: Right. Well, I would suggest that you more or less begin packing...these things always get dragged out into the last minute and then we’re never ready to go.Hydraxon: (whispers to MT)MT: ...Tahu: ...MT: The honorable Mr. Hydraxon would like to inform you that he and his team can be packed in a couple of hours.Tahu: Wonderful. And tell the “honorable” Mr. Hydraxon that he can speak to me. His mouth isn’t broken, and quite frankly, I hate him talking through you.Hydraxon: (whispers to MT)MT: ...Mr. Hydraxon would like to inform you that you are, in fact, a moron.Tahu: ...guess who’s not gonna be getting the window seat on the airplane.-MT
-
Hello, all! And welcome to AFTERMATH 3 A New Chapter of Trials This story takes place 2,400 years after Aftermath 2's ending, on two different planets, Planet Argnok and Planet Delarax. Chapters will alternate between the two planets. Planet Argnok: A world where, according to legend, all technology mysteriously vanished 2,400 years ago, this society is attempting to build itself back up to the standards of where it was before. The only life on this planet is located on a number of closely clustered islands floating on top of a quick-sand ocean. Planet Delarax: The Resistance, led by Toa Mesonak, continues to fight against the Dark Lord, a villain who has overrun the universe with a plague called Xenon. Despite rumors that Mesonak died several thousand years ago, he remains the largest opponent to the Dark Lord today. What mysteries lie behind Mesonak's supposed resurrection? Once again, Aftermath is an epicomedy of sorts, but I've decided to take a different approach to it this time, with the main humorous components of the comedy contained in character interactions instead of set pieces, allowing for the story to flow more evenly. It's an interesting experiment, so we'll find out how it goes. Hope you enjoy! Chapter 1, Argnok: A New Beginning "It has been said that you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Well, there was a third option, actually. Retire a hero and live the rest of your life in ease-ish. So went the story of the famed Toa JL. More than two thousand years ago, he took part in the efforts of a group to bury a legendary plague below the surface of this planet. Covered it entirely in a sea of quick sand. After doing so, he used the last of his power to lift several islands off the covered surface and send them floating upwards, creating a viable location to live for us villagers." "Oh, come on, mate. You don't believe those silly kind of stories, do ya?" "…no. I can't say I do. I wish I did, but it all seems far too unlikely to have actually happened." "Good. Ha. Was about to take ya out for a walk in the common sense park! Ha! Get it! Common sense park…man I'm funny." Vardan grabbed his sword and headed towards the exit of the arena. He had recently passed what was referred to as "the exam," or the test that all Matoran were required to pass in order to be granted the power of Toa. Garu, his longtime mentor and friend, would be proud. "Ha. Where ya going?" a grating voice called out. "I'm not quite done with ya yet!" Vardan turned around, and looked back at the Matoran. The odd fellow with the bizarre accent only referred to himself as "Rocket Matoran," and always carried an excessive amount of explosive devices with him. Despite the fact that he had his power as a Toa stripped from him years ago for "acts of vandalism involving rocket launchers," he still found a way to survive. "What is it?" Vardan asked, half exasperated. The new Toa of Fire had just finished a day of training in order to get used to his new powers, and was looking forward to doing nothing for a while. "I was wondering, mate, if you wouldn't mind helpin' me catch a criminal." "A..criminal?" "Yeah, mate. There's been a group of armed Matoran on the loose the past few nights. Robbing stores. Stealing things. Ya know." "No…I don't know." "Ah. Well, shame. Anyways, they're supposed to be meeting, of all places, here tonight." "…in the arena?" "Ya mate. Crazy, right?" "…sure…crazy…whatever." "Anyways, I'm going to camp out here and wait for them. Would you care to wait with me?" "Wait…for…how long again?" "Just until nightfall." "…that's…a really long time." "Nah, mate. We'll just sit in here and hide. Like this!" And with that, the Matoran leapt inside an oil drum sitting nearby and crouched inside. Vardan stood there, somewhat confused. "Wait! I know! I'll just hide in here and do a stake-out!" the Matoran exclaimed, getting excited. "…I think you'll probably just get arrested." "…" "In fact, you may not even have to hide in the drum to get arrested." "What do you mean? I'm not suspicious, mate!" the Matoran fired back, hopping out of the oil drum. Vardan sighed and moved back towards the exit. "Goodbye, Rocket Matoran." "Aw, that's how it is, huh? All right then! But don't come crying to me when you get robbed too! You'll be crying back here, and whining about how they stole your nail polish, and I'll tell you, 'Too bad, mate!' and you'll be like, 'but please, Mr. Rocket!,' and I'll be like-" "I don't HAVE nail polish!" Vardan shouted back, heading through the door and closing it behind him. "…man…nuts…and I really wanted to sit in this barrel, too." Vardan left the arena and headed back towards his house. When he got there, he was surprised to find another Matoran waiting for him. "Hello there!" the Matoran called. "Would you happen to know who lives at this residence?" "…yes." "Might I ask their name?" "You might, yes. "…" "…" "….who is it, then?" "It's me." The Matoran seemed taken aback, but regained his composure and continued. "Well then, sir! Might I interest you in our latest product?" "You might, yes." "It's a brand new bottle of nail polish! Look!" "…on second thought, you probably won't." "Aw, come on, mister!" the Matoran cried, her attempted air of professionalism crumbling before Vardan. "I waited here so long for someone to come to this house, and-" Vardan sighed. "Aren't you supposed to be selling nail polish to females, anyway?" "Well…yes, but…" "And there's one more problem," Vardan said, outstretching his hand. "I don't have any nails." "…but…but! It could be a great display item! On your shelf!" "Yes," Vardan muttered. "What self respecting masculine Toa wouldn't want his friends coming in and noticing a bottle of fingernail polish on his shelf?" "I knew you'd come around!" the Matoran interjected, her voice suddenly perking up. "How many bottles can I put you down for?" "Bottles?" Vardan asked. "I haven't even agreed to buy one yet!" "But..but…but…BUT! If you don't, then all this time will have gone for not-" The Matoran's sentence was interrupted by the sound of a large explosion. Vardan turned in the direction of the sound, noticing a pile of smoke rising from a building located several blocks away. "Picked a great day to become a Toa," Vardan mumbled sarcastically, as he took off towards the explosion. "Wait! Where are you going?" called the Matoran. "I haven't finished selling things to you yet!" "Did you not hear the explosion? I'm going to find out what that was!" Vardan responded, not taking the time to look back. "Ooh! An explosion? Where? I'm coming with you?" Vardan didn't hear the Matoran's response. By that time, he was already well out of hearing range. "…wait! Come back! I still have to sell you something, explosion or not! Hey! Did you know that nail polish is great for covering up explosion marks?" Vardan was the first Toa to arrive on the scene. After shoving aside several Matoran, he stumbled into a building filled with smoke, keeping his sword in his right hand while attempting to clear a path of vision with the other. "Hello? Anyone here?" He called out, attempting to fight his way through the large haze. "Is there anyone in here who needs help?" A low, mumbled grunt came from the back. "…hello?" Vardan asked again. "Was that someone? Hellloo-" A black flash suddenly flew through the air, knocking Vardan down. The Fire Toa spun up and whirled around in the opposite direction, to find himself in front of a large, black form, carrying a large sword and sprouting several tentacles. "Oh no…" Vardan said, half to himself. The being he was staring directly at was a Shade, a dark armored Toa that had lost their mind for unknown reasons. Despite lacking intelligence, these beings were often much stronger than an average Toa. Meeting one right off the bat was a nightmare for Vardan. Despite the Fire Toa's obvious fear, he stood up, and pointed his sword at the Shade. "…get back…" he ordered, his voice trembling. "If you don't, then we'll…we'll…" The Shade, oddly enough, seemed to obey. He turned around and walked right out of the building. Just when Vardan thought that he had managed to scare it off, however, the Shade grabbed a Matoran standing by, and lifted the helpless villager into the air." "Aaaaahhhh!!" the Matoran screamed. Vardan rushed forward, and the Shade took off running, the Matoran still in hand. Vardan continued in pursuit of the Shade against better judgment, knowing that he would likely lose badly in combat if it came to that. Still, something bothered him. This Shade's actions made no sense. All of the Shade's he had heard of had gone out of their way to attack Toa and Matoran, even against ridiculous odds. Why would one who clearly held the advantage suddenly flee? The Fire Toa shook off his doubts and sprinted faster. He would have time to consider these things later. He had a kidnapper to catch up with. -MT
-
The new fancy disclaimer: The following one shot has been written for the sake of humor and humor alone. The views expressed below do not necessarily reflect the views of the author, though if you like said views, feel free to credit them to the author. The author reserves all rights to file suit should an opportunity to make money appear; However, the author currently happens to lack funding for a lawyer, so everyone is probably safe for the time being. ====== Tahu: Hello, everyone! Takadox: Hey there! Tahu: It's been quite a while since we last did one of these one shots...mostly due to...being busy with stuff like running a mansion. At least, that's why I've been busy. How about you, Takadox? Takadox: ...I've been dead. I got killed off...remember? Tahu: ...ah. Right. Well, I suppose that's a pretty good excuse as well. Anyways, we're here today to celebrate "The Bionicles Try To Run a House" series turning six years old! Takadox: Indeed. Tahu: So...in true TBTTRAH fashion...we're going to take this time to thank everyone who's helped make this comedy into what it has become. Takadox: ...what has it become, exactly? Tahu: ...well...it's become...um...a kind of successful story in the midst of a struggling forum on a website about a line of children's toys? Takadox: ...so much to celebrate these days. Tahu: Anyways...I'll start off by thanking all the fans out there. We've had quite a few supporters throughout the years, and we sincerely appreciate every single one of you! Takadox: ...how many supporters have there been, exactly? Tahu: ...uh...like...maybe...a few dozen? I don't know... Takadox: Guess we'll have to wait a few years before Machinima comes calling to make us into a live action show. Tahu: We'd also like to thank the forums for a place to write a comedy in the first place, and for all the other writers in this particular forum for helping to build this comedies section into a place where we've been able to thrive for the past six years. Takadox: ... Tahu: And...I suppose the internet, for existing as well? That's kind of a necessity, I suppose. Takadox: They're always good. Tahu: Well...I think that wraps the thanks up. Anyone I left out, Takadox? Takadox: ...hmm...well, no...I think you pretty much mentioned everyone we should thank. Tahu: Good. In that case- Takadox: HOWEVER...there is someone I would like to NOT thank. Tahu: ...er...um...maybe that could wait until some other- Takadox: To that LAZY, NO GOOD AUTHOR OUT THERE...YOU KILLED ME OFF YOU FAT, TALENTLESS HACK! Tahu: ...uh... Takadox: YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS, AND YOU'LL DIE ALONE IN A DITCH OFF THE SIDE OF AN INTERSTATE! Tahu: ... Takadox: YOU BETTER REBOOT THIS SERIES SOON AND BRING ME BACK TO LIFE, OR I'M GOING TO COME FIND YOU AND END YOUR MISERABLE EXISTENCE EVEN SOONER! Tahu: ... Takadox: ...I HATE YOU! YOU AREN'T EVEN WORTH THE KEYBOARD YOU TYPE ON! YOU WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE WORST WRITER EVER...AND AFTER THAT...I'M GOING TO FIND SOME WAY TO TRASH YOUR REPUTATION EVEN MORE! Tahu: ...uh...Takadox- Takadox: I'M DONE! I'M DONE WITH YOU ALL! I'M MOVING TO ANOTHER COMEDY...WITH A REAL WRITER WHO HAS ACTUAL TALENT! HE'LL TREAT ME WITH THE RESPECT I DESERVE...AND NOT KILL ME OFF IN SOME POINTLESS SIDE SCENE! (storms out of the room) Tahu: ... *SLAM!* Tahu: ...er...hmm... Evil Tahu: (sticks his head in) He seems bitter. Tahu: AAHH!! Where did YOU come from? Evil Tahu: Hmm? Oh, I just stopped by to taste the celebratory cake. I got a new job haunting people in one of iBrow's comedies after I got killed off. Tahu: ... Evil Tahu: Anyways, tell him to just go find another job. It'll help him get over the bitterness...of being dead. Tahu: ...er...yeah...I'm sure he'll be really happy to hear that. Evil Tahu: Well, that's what I did. Tahu: ... Evil Tahu: ...anyways, I'm out. Tell MT his cake sucks. Tahu: ...you know what? Forget this. This celebration's over. There's no partying with a bunch of no fun dead guys like you. ====== Thanks to everyone who's made these last six years possible! It's been a great ride, and I'd wish for another six years just like it...but I that would suggest that I probably don't have a job at that point...so maybe just another good three years? -MT
-
"Hello everyone! Tahu here, with my faithful companion Xplode!" "Faithful as long as you're paying me." "Right. Exactly. Well, we're here to announce something very exciting today!" "Super exciting." "Yep. So exciting, that Xplode is...literally...putting no effort into this at all." "...did you want me to throw confetti or something?" "At least make it sound like you care." "What exactly denotes caring?" "...I dunno...put some emotion into it. Yell a bit. Sound excited." *sigh* "...very well. A-HEM!" "..." "HEY GUYS! WE'RE DOING SOMETHING REALLY EXCITING TODAY! WOOOOOOOOOPPP!!" "..." "...I...feel foolish." "Right. Well, anyways, we're here with another one of our brilliant money making ideas! And, once again...we may or may not have stolen it from video games." "After our less than successful attempt to sell an Aftermath: 'Comedy of the Year' edition to you, we decided to pick up where we left off and give this another shot." "Only this time, it's much better! Because it's LIMITED." "Indeed, Tahu. Right now, we are offering a super exclusive LIMITED EDITION Aftermath 3, which you can pre-order now!" "This limited edition set comes with...the DIRECTOR'S CUT edition of Aftermath 3." "Which includes PMs of all MT's hilarious grammar mistakes that he edits out, as well as some of those painfully terrible ideas he had for A3 originally." "It also includes links to all of the images MT shamelessly ripped off Google in order to make banners and character designs!" "Needless to say, he wasn't a big fan of the idea. What else do we have, Tahu?" "Well, you'll also get the COMPLETE ORCHESTRATED SOUNDTRACK TO AFTERMATH 3!" "Which...considering it's a text comedy...doesn't include much." "IT DOES INCLUDE FULLY VOICED ONOMONOPIAS, though! You'll get a burned CD in the mail with some of the BEST voice acting you've heard in your life! At least...assuming the only piece of media you've ever encountered before is Metroid: Other M." "But that's not all, is it, Tahu?" "Heck no! It's not! You'll get the complete A3 ARTBOOK!" "...which, again, has nothing in it since it's a text comedy." "AND you'll get a complete limited edition statue of one of the new heroes!" "What does this new hero look like? YOU'LL HAVE TO BUY THE LIMITED EDITION TO FIND OUT!" "So, just in case we haven't convinced you that this set is a GREAT deal...let's recap all that you get! First: The DIRECTOR'S CUT of Aftermath 3!" "Which is MT's bad ideas." "The ORCHESTRATED SOUNDTRACK!" "Quite possibly the only orchestrated soundtrack ever to not require an orchestra." "The COMPLETE ARTBOOK!" "Without any art." "AND AN AWESOME STATUE OF THE NEW HERO! ME!" "Which is-wait what?" "Uh...oh. Whoops. I wasn't supposed to spoil that, was I?" "...you WHAT?!" "Yeah. I'm actually the main hero of A3 after all. Guess I wasn't supposed to leak that yet, huh?" "You CAN'T be the main hero of A3! It takes place like two thousand years in the future! You'll be a dysfunctional pile of recycled plastic by then!" "WHAT? TWO THOUSAND YEARS LATER?! WHY?!" "Dunno. The reason's probably in the director's cut for A3." "..." "Sorry, Tahu. Don't think you'll be appearing in it." "...ha! You think that's gonna stop me? A mere span of time! Forget it!" "...where are you going?" "To the freezer! I'm going to stick myself in cryostasis until two thousand years are up!" "...wait...what? The freezer won't last that long!" "..." "...nuts. He's already gone. Well, information's below, people! ORDER NOW! Hey, Tahu! Wait!" ======= TO ORDER YOUR EXTREMELY LIMITED EDITION AFTERMATH 3 NOW, CALL THE TOLL FREE NUMBER WITH YOUR OR A NEIGHBOR'S CREDIT CARD BELOW! 1-800-567-SCAM OR MAIL A CHECK FOR $13.37 TO 12345 PORT TOWN DRIVE, HYRULE, PLANET ZEBES ZIP: 86753-09 ORDER NOW! -MT
-
If you guys followed MT's Aftermath closely, you'll know that JL is a new GS. Well, MT has big plans for him, being Keybearer and all. So, I decided to write about him before he joined the Toa Zehvor. And, well, since I already began around a few months ago, on HiPor: Empire of Pixels, where a few other comedy writers (MT Included) had been continuing their stuff. Anyways, enjoy. Also, here's the link to the first 10 chapters. Don't miss the prologue, and read the 1 "special" post which shows us how this relates to TBTTRAH. http://hipor.b1.jcink.com/index.php?showtopic=383&st=0 Chapter 11: LegacyJL moved forwards, and jumped. The cliff was low, and he could easily reach the ground below. He rolled, and sprinted. He looked at his visor. 1 of the Freelancers were fighting behind him, back on the cliff. Far in front of him, one of the Rogue Freelancers where there, running away.JL jumped, and took flight. He looked forwards, and while he chased, he recalled the events that had lead to this point.__________________________________________________---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------It had been 2 hours since they had first encountered the 5. Each of the Freelancers had worked as one, effectively defeating them... just barely. They had managed to run away, and JL knew that their tactics now were to take them out 1 by 1.JL: Here. The 5 of them are situated on this cliff. They have a temporary camp, and we have to catch them off guard.Primax: If they see us coming and have the preparations, they can easily run away. If they DID prepare with Freelancer Tactics, they will disappear. No finding them.Hexus: Fortunately for us, We're Freelancers too.JL: Unfortunately for us, they are at least twice as powerful. We're going to have to search for a Weakness. Alright. Hit them hard, fast, and surprising. How do we get up without being spotted?Hexus: .... A Diversion.JL: Who?10 Minutes later......JL: (Facepalm)Hexus: JUST FLY OVER TO THE CLIFF AND SEND BARRAGES OF RAIN, LIGHTNING AND WIND! ALSO, TRY TO GET A TSUNAMI!JL: I KNOW! JUST GET TO THE HILLSIDE! BUT THERES NO SEA HERE! GO! AND ###### YOU FOR MAKING ME THE DECOY!Primax: OK!!!!!!2 minutes later, and he was floating around the top of their cliff. Meanwhile, his team members continued around the hill, stealthily.JL: Hey! Get out of their, you lazy punks, and face me!Xenox: .... You. He told me to kill you. User of the storm.JL: You. Your name sounds funny.Xenox: You dare insult my name? Destiny gave it to me!JL: Yeah, well, no wonder everyones life is a joke.Xenox: Shut up!Xenox launches a barrage of xenon at JL, who barely evades it. In return, a gust of wind blasts back at Xenox, who barely stands his ground. The other 4 come out, intent on watching. On his HUD, JL spotted several of his teammates slowly walking up the hill, trying not to be heard or saw.Shade: All 5 of us will take you down easily! After all, its just one of you-Xenox: No! He will be defeated by me... ONLY!Shade: What did he do now....JL: I said his name sounded stupid...Shade: You know, I think our mother had autism or something, nameing us these weird doomsday names.JL: Don't you mean.... emo?Xenox: Alright. You're going down, mate!JL: Come at me!Xenox fires another volley of Xenon, and this time, JL floats downwards, making them all miss.JL: You know, going down actually makes my chances of winning much better. I mean, if I go down and you lose power, while I haven't really done anything except use my armor and keep air pressure stable under my feet, well, quoting you, "You're going down!"Xenox: Thats it. You're dead. Come down, and let us face off on the floor.JL: Why should I do that? I mean, come on! I can just hurl lightning and all of you can just die! Xenon is conductive, right?Xenox: Well, I guess you CAN stay up there.... if you want to continue being an arrogant fool, not knowing anything except what the IUPD told you, not knowing of what happened before you became such a warrior, not knowing who you were.JL:..........Xenox: After all, I know what happened. You lost all memory when you were recruited by the IUPD. I know what happened.JL: Tell me, and I'll come down.Xenox: What can make me think you will?Thunder rumbles.Xenox: Boasting, eh? Very well. Your history, presented to me by the bane of the universe, champion of Xenon, by the Dark Lord himself. And now, lets see you as we talk about you... to you! (Evil Grin)=========Xenox: You had the talent to be very powerful. That was why you were chosen. To be keybearer.JL: Beehairer? Just to let you know, I will never choose to cut a bee's hair. Even if I was bribed.Xenox: No, you cool dude! Keybearer!JL: I bear no keys. I lose them too well.Xenox: *Sigh* Look. You were chosen to hold a secret, and the power which opens it back up. However, there are some things which don't like that thing being opened. And, well, we decided to attack you.JL: Did I beat you really badly?Xenox: No. We beat you really badly.JL: Liar. Liar. Pants on fire.A thunderbolt slashed through the air, striking the tree Xenox was standing next to. The tree falls, and the newly created bonfire touches Xenox's groin.Xenox: ....... Dude. That's just wrong.JL: Shouldn't it hurt?Xenox: Your stupidity made me lose brain cells. I don't think I can feel pain.JL: ....... That. Was the worst comeback. Ever.Xenon covers up the Fire, and soon, The only thing left was the Gas. Xenox twirled around with it, until a gust of wind scattered it.JL: Talk.Xenox: Interested, mm? Anyways, you were given this power, hidden inside of you, and you were told to fight with your life to defend it. Obviously, the previous Keybearer thought you had enough time to get better with your powers. But nope. The forces of Xenon found you anyways. You fought with your life, knowing the cost, and you managed to defeat all the cannon fodder little Terna..... but then, you fainted from exhaustion. And before our reinforcements could reach you, the IUPD friends decided that your uncontrollable power of the storm....... must be controlled.JL: Uncontrollable? Not likely. I can use it just fine. The sea can do my bidding. The rain can form water too. Lightning can help me fight. So will the air. You could say, I am a 3 in 1. 3 powers confined as 1 element, to be controlled in unison.Xenox: But what happens when you let it rage? When you unleash so much power on it, on a storm, you can destroy a planet. Your element can be self sustaining as long as you make it strong enough. It can die out over time...... but if you just continue, you can change a metropolis planet into a place of rubble, a tourist site.JL: And so? This has to do with Xenon, my history, what?JL couldn't believe it. He had originally come here hoping to let the other Freelancers surround their enemies. And yet, he was hooked on this story. He was actually sending his teammates a message right now - "Don't attack yet."He was disobeying everything he should be doing. And yet, his teammates understood. He was lucky to have them as friends. He didn't want to lose them.Xenox: You were taken in, trained to be a warrior. And I must admit, you are strong. But Xenon is stronger than anything, and everything. You will fall, your secret will die with you, and no one will be left to stop The Dark Lord from his rampage.JL: No. If I fall, others can fight too. And there are things that can defeat your "undefeatable" substance.Xenox: Determination? Hope? Insanity? Stupidity? Cleverness? Trust me, people have tried, and they have failed. Even if they succeeded, The Dark Lord can rule. Even in Death, he can be brought back.JL: Oh yeah? How?Xenox: Oh, you don't want to know.JL: I've heard enough. You say I have a power - a key which can end all this.Xenox: Yes.---Shade: (Behind Xenox's back, whispering to his brothers) I think Xenox is insane. He actually talked to that big fat blob about this guy and his history?? Haha.Darkside: Well, I guess it couldn't hurt telling people of their origins. I would want to know.Sager: Let me guess. You want to slap our parents for naming you like an cool dude.Darkside: Yes.Sena: Wow. Darkside, we have a massive lifestory confrontation between two amazingly powered warriors, talking about their legacy, tension growing...... and you're talking about your mother?Darkside: I know, I know, I'm emotionally unstable-Sena: Nope. You are brain damaged.Darkside: Shush.--JL: Well, then, I guess I know what I need to know. I have a power which can stop this Xenon from spreading. But first, I need to know how it works.Xenox: You need us for that.JL: No. I don't. If I have to, I'll fight The Dark Lord himself to know more about myself. But, trust me - I will activate this power. Even if I lose my memory again, I'll do it. I'll find new friends, find the keyhole, and end it all, by myself or with friends. Preferably the latter.Xenox: Oh yeah? Well, then, I guess the talking is done-JL: And the fighting begins.Immediately, Xenon smashes into JL, knocking him down to the bottom of the cliff. Xenox jumps down after him, and JL runs, finally remembering what he was here for."Hey, guys, feel free to attack them whenever you can, I'll face this guy myself."
-
First, a little backstory about the origin of this "epicomedy", as it is supposed to be:Over a year ago, a few of my friends and I started a comedy known as "Almost There" about a group of Bionicles laying low at a hotel in Miami, Florida while on the run from police as well as the villainous Omega Mete and his Vahki. A writing team consisting of me, MT, TLhikan, Levacius and one other person was assembled and MT kicked things off. The plan was to have a rotation of authors in the order of MT, me, Tlhikan, the other guy, and Levacius. However, things did not go as planned and I wound up taking over the project for myself. I didn't get too far (mostly due to my laziness) before the forums shut down for several months and the original wound up in the archive. So, I'm starting this topic to continue the story.I will provide a link for the original, and I strongly advise that you read it first before reading the upcoming chapter. However, I even more strongly advise that you skip "Chapter 7" entirely as it not considered part of the continuity and is impossible to comprehend. Its writer is currently serving time in the Internet State Penitentiary for both that and his trolling.The original can be found here: http://www.bzpower.c...howtopic=324945Now, without further ado...Toa Zehvor Brenmac presents...An Omega Turtle Studios produtction...Almost There: The Continuation(Oh, and just so you know, since I'm starting right where I left off, this will start with Chapter 14 instead of Chapter 1.)Chapter 14: The Cleanup BeginsWhen we last left our heroes, they were leaving Levacius' destroyed lab and heading downstairs, all the while trying to determine how to get rid of the Gremlins that were infesting the hotel."Things have definitely changed around here." said Skidak. "In such a short span of time this place has gone from being a place of relaxation to a tourist's nightmare. I wonder who's fault that is." He looked to Brenmac, who was carrying the Mogwai Mohawk in one arm while the other held his sword, ready to slash at any Gremlins that might ambush them on their way to the lower levels. "Okay fine, I admit it. It is my fault." Replied Brenmac. "None of this would have happened if I hadn't let my Mogwai get wet. But I still don't know who's fault it is that Gizmo got wet in the first place." "Gizmo?" asked Skidak "My pet. That's the name of my Mogwai. My first one anyway." "First?" asked Skidak. "Yes. I recently went back in time to retrieve a second Mogwai named Earl to prevent him from becoming evil." "I see." said Skidak. "And what exactly are these things that are swarming our hotel anyway?""Gremlins." Brenmac answered. When Skidak gave him a second confused look, Brenmac explained. "A gremlin is basically a creature that likes to cause trouble. They were the result of genetic miscalculations by an alien scientist named Mogturmen. You see, all Mogwai were originally meant to be good and sweet, like Gizmo, but due to those miscalculations only one in every thousand wound up being that way while the rest wound up being mischievous and having the desire to mutate into a gremlin. Most of them succeed, and when they make contact with water, like Mogwai, they multiply. In order to make as many as there are here, one of more of them must have made contact with a lot of water." "So how do you kill them?" Skidak wanted to know. "Basically the same way you would kill a human." Brenmac answered. "Anything can be used. Swords, knives, blenders, microwaves, etcetera." "Even chainsaws?" Skidak asked, grinning. Brenmac nodded. "Yes. Even chainsaws." Turning to the rest of the group, he said. "Okay, the rest of you I want going around this hotel offing what gremlins you can. The only rule is to keep it discreet. Now, move out!" "And what will you do?" questioned Skidak "I will be looking for Tahu Nuva. Maybe he can help us somehow." With that, the group split, each going in a different direction. Brenmac went through the hallway until he reached the end of the corridor and gently set Mohawk on the floor. "I want you to go find your brothers. Once you've found them rendezvous back at my room. Since your a very intelligent creature, I assume you know where that is. Mohawk nodded as if he understood and ran off. Then Brenmac began his search for the house's co-leader.On a distant, barren planet an ancient spacecraft lay in ruins. Outside it, a blue sphere suddenly appeared then disappeared, revealing the three Makuta Artidax, Vahrak, and Dehvor. Artidax led the way into the ship until they were near the center, where he motioned the other two to stay put. Artidax entered the chamber which was bare except for a small lab table on the far side and a life-support chair in the very center. Artidax had only walked a few steps towards it when a clawed, three-fingered hand shot out from the right side and made a mation that Artidax knew meant that he should stop and speak. Kneeling, he began to speak. "My master, I have failed you. The Toa escaped the planet and the Xenon Core on earth is no more." In a voice that sounded both reptilian and alien at the same time, the creature answered. "No, you have not failed me. We have been merely...set back. You and your companions have made it to Earth, correct?" "Yes sir." Artidax replied. "And Toa MT is still there?" "To the farthest of our knowledge, yes." "Good. After all, you know that killing him is the key to freeing me from this chair to which he bound me over a decade ago." The creature continued. "As for the Xenon Core, there are secondary sources of Xenon hidden on Earth, but only one meddling furball knows of their locations, unwittingly." "Gizmo..." Artidax whispered. The creature turned to him, his red eyes filled with fury. "Do not even dare to mention his name! And if you do, do it where I can't hear you. It is because of him that I died almost twenty-five years ago, only to return and wind up stuck here, plotting my vengeance." "Yes, yes, sir." Artidax said nervously. Turning back to look at the wall, Artidax's master returned to calm. "Now go back to Earth and hunt. And do not stop until you've pried the location of the other sources from that wretched Mogwai's brain and Toa MT lies dead at your feet." Artidax nodded and quietly left the chamber, pondering to himself.Back at the hotel, Brenmac managed to find Tahu Nuva with Carapar on the top floor in his personal chamber. "Ah, Brenmac, come in." Tahu Nuva said upon seeing the Toa Zehvor. When Brenmac approached his desk, he asked of him, "So, what news?" "Nothing new, we haven't been able to do anything about it yet, but we're trying. The only thing is is that we only have a couple hours to do it." answered Brenmac. "I see." Tahu Nuva replied. "Well, do you know what kind of lawsuits we could be facing if we don't get these things out soon?" "Yes, I do but-"The three were distracted by a buzzing sound coming from one of the electrical outlets in one of the walls. With a flash of blue light, the Electric Gremlin shot out of it and tried to attack. Brenmac took out his sword to protect the house co-leader and found out that his sword could only channel and aborb elemental energy, but also contain beings made up of that sort of energy. Which is what happened after Brenmac unlimbered his blade. With the Electric Gremlin inside, the sword suddenly felt much heavier and waved around as if being attracted by an invisible magnet. Then Brenmac made to odd request to Carapar to sing into his sword. When Carapar did so, the sword vibrated and emmited a low-pitch noise, as if the Electric Gremlin inside was struggling to get out and sceaming in agony. Suddenly, the noise stopped and Brenmac's sword hung limply by his side. Tahu Nuva was covering his ears and groaning. "Why did make him do that?" He demanded. "Because I wanted to see if it would work. And what do you know, it did." Tahu Nuva got up from his seat. "Well I do know that something bad is going to happen if we don't get these pests out of here before the evening!" "Well then let's go." said Brenmac as he left the chamber, Tahu and Carapar in tow.Mogwai Mohawk turned another corner to see another long hallway. Well, to him it was long, as he wasn't much shorter thatn the Bionicles that he had recntly befriended. But something was different. There was a figure at the end of this one. Too tall to be another Mogwai of a Bionicle, but too short to be a human. What was it? Mohawk got his answer when the figure came close enough to reveal itself as the gremlin version of himself. He was obviously not here to be kind to his Mogwai self. No, he was here to kill him. All of a sudden, without warning, Mohawk's mohawk glowed blue and the Mogwai shot a blue beam of energy from his mouth. Mohawk didn't know it, but it was a side effect of the "G-Serum" he had lopped up earlier. His gremlin self managed to avoid the blast, however, and recklessly charged. Mohawk fired a second blast, this time more precise and it hit the gremlin in the misection, effectively seperating the body into two halves. As the top half was sent flying into the air and back down to Earth, the Mogwai fired another beam at the neck, sepeating the Gremlin's head from his torso. But the Mogwai Mohawk wanted to make sure his evil self was dead, and a fourth blast blew up the head, splattering green blood all over the walls.Then Mohawk turned and ran down the corridor, instinctively towards the control room, and certain that he was the only Mohawk in existence. Once he was gone, one of the hotel room doors opened and out came Omega Mete, holding the spider serum from Levacius' lab in his right hand, having arrived at the hotel via a small, undetectable ship and through a window. He had originally come here to spy on the Bionicles in secret, but now he had somewhat darker plans before his true one went into action. Picking up the torso of the deceased gremlin and glancing at the spider serum, he got an idea.-Zehvor Brenmac
-
The following is what is known as a one shot. It contains some sort of advice/life counseling that very rarely reflects the opinion of the author. Please do not be offended by it. None of it is meant to be taken seriously.Well, most of it, anyways.========Pridak: Hello there, everyone!Xplode: Pridak and me are here to-Vakama: Pridak and I!Xplode: ...I beg your pardon?Vakama: It's "Pridak and I!"Xplode: ...yes....yes of course...Pridak: Stupid grammar Nazi Turaga.Xplode: Anyways, we here at Aftermath, or, Aftermath 2, thanks to the lovely, absolutely wonderful, beautiful "update" of the servers, are always in favor of holding out on thinking about Christmas at least until after Thanksgiving.Pridak: Except for presents. Presents need lots of time to think about. Xplode: So, for the second straight year, we're here to tell you what we think you should buy for your friends, family, and, of course, us.Pridak: Pay attention to the last part.Xplode: First off on this list is: ParentsPridak: Parents are some of the most important people in your life, outside of us, so you should most definitely be considering what you can give to them.Xplode: Thinking creatively is probably your best bet for people who are fully able to buy anything you can, and then some. Pridak and I sat down and brainstormed...Pridak: ...Xplode: ...well, actually, we sat down and I brainstormed.Pridak: Hey! I helped too!Xplode: Are you kidding me? All you did was draw pictures of ponies for like 30 minutes, and then mumble "mhm" to every suggestion I came up with!Pridak: ...that's helpful.Xplode: Whatever. Anyways, some of..."our"...suggestions were along the lines of medical plans. Maybe an AARP package?Vakama: ...we're going to get a lot of nasty letters for this.Pridak: Think about the future. You could even buy them a lifetime membership in your local Bingo club for a long time in the future.Vakama: ...REALLY nasty letters.Xplode: Just use your head, and you'll be ok here.Pridak: The next group of people we thought about was: Siblings.Xplode: This group is obviously divided into two sections: The infidels and the chosen gender.Pridak: ...for fear of getting even more nasty letters, we won't specify which gender is which.Vakama: Thank the Lord.Pridak: JUST KIDDING!!! THEY BOTH SUCK!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA-Vakama: (facepalm)Xplode: For any brothers you may have, we suggest some sort of video game, since that appears to be all the rage these days.Vakama: Crazy whippersnappers and their fantasy worlds.Pridak: Hey, you! You're supposed to be editing this PSA, not talking over it!Vakama: ...Xplode: For the one who doesn't like video games, there's still plenty of fun things for them to do. Like Pridak and me-Vakama: "and I."Xplode: SHUT UP!!!!!Vakama: Just saying.Xplode: ...as I was saying, as Pridak and ME do in our free time.Vakama: *cringes*Xplode: For example, when the 360 or Wii isn't working, we'll often....um...Pridak: ...Xplode: ...we'll....umm....hmmm....Pridak: What DO we do in our free time when we aren't playing video games?Xplode: ...y'know what? Just buy them a video game machine. There. That takes care of the problem.Pridak: Right. Well, moving on to the...Xplode: ...Pridak: (bursts out laughing) HA!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!Xplode: What?Pridak: Look at this script card. It says that sisters are the "fairer" gender. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!Xplode: ...Pridak: HA...ha...heh....oh man...that's TOO funny.Vakama: I hate my job.Xplode: *Ahem* For sisters, well, we really have no idea what so ever.Pridak: Barbies? Are they still into barbies? Barbies are cool, right?Xplode: (turns to Pridak) You're a "My Little Pony" fan. You have NO right to make fun of Barbies.Pridak: Who was making fun of them? I was validating them as cool. Xplode: ...that was another thing about you I could have lived the rest of my life without knowing.Vakama: BACK TO THE SCRIPT!!!!Xplode: ...oh...yes. Well, um, long story short, we have no idea what to get for girls.Pridak: Barbie.Xplode: So just wing it. Or, if you rather, you can take your chances and ask Cleverbot. We don't particularly care. Make sure, however, if you do get a gift that you're unsure about, that you have a good getaway plan for escaping the ensuing carnage in the house.Pridak: Now moving on to FRIENDS! So much more fun to hang around than siblings.Xplode: Friends are a bit easier to buy for than brothers or sisters, since you actually WANT to buy a gift for them.Pridak: Really, though, in this case, it's all up to you. Buy them whatever they're interested in. Ask them. Just not too directly.Xplode: For example, if you want to buy them a T-Shirt, don't go straight up and ask them what size their neck is. That's far too obvious. Instead, go figure out what their wrist size is, and simply double that.Pridak: A human wrist's width is almost always approximately 1/2 the width of their neck. So just go figure out what neck size corresponds with what shirt size, and you'll be good to go!Xplode: However, we do not recommend using this tip with Endermen, Grunts, or Metroids. It is inneffective on these species.Pridak: Also, avoid blatantly asking the friend his wrist size. Find out in a roundabout way. Otherwise he may think that you're trying to buy handcuffs in his size.Xplode: Of course. And now, the final, and most important part of this..."show"...what to buy for US!!!Pridak: That's easy. You won't even have to buy it. Instead, go to your back, find whatever money you may have in savings, take it out, and ship it to our address! And here is the lovely address to send it to!!(Address blanked out to prevent anyone from actually trying to send money to Pridak. Worst idea ever)Xplode: There you are. Our guide to shopping this Christmas season. Well, that does it for us. We'll be back next time!Vakama: Unlike me.Pridak: Bye everyone!-MT
-
So yaa I lied. Again. I'm good at that. Instead of Monday or Thursday, Omegafest will begin on Tuesday, with the iBrow day. After that I'm not entirely sure, but there will be a couple of TBTTRAH days thrown in there to show some of the new stuff I've been working on(and believe me, there's a lot of new stuff). If you want to secure a day, just post here and say which day. Otherwise I'll assign one to you. -MT
