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"Hello everyone! Tahu here, with my faithful companion Xplode!" "Faithful as long as you're paying me." "Right. Exactly. Well, we're here to announce something very exciting today!" "Super exciting." "Yep. So exciting, that Xplode is...literally...putting no effort into this at all." "...did you want me to throw confetti or something?" "At least make it sound like you care." "What exactly denotes caring?" "...I dunno...put some emotion into it. Yell a bit. Sound excited." *sigh* "...very well. A-HEM!" "..." "HEY GUYS! WE'RE DOING SOMETHING REALLY EXCITING TODAY! WOOOOOOOOOPPP!!" "..." "...I...feel foolish." "Right. Well, anyways, we're here with another one of our brilliant money making ideas! And, once again...we may or may not have stolen it from video games." "After our less than successful attempt to sell an Aftermath: 'Comedy of the Year' edition to you, we decided to pick up where we left off and give this another shot." "Only this time, it's much better! Because it's LIMITED." "Indeed, Tahu. Right now, we are offering a super exclusive LIMITED EDITION Aftermath 3, which you can pre-order now!" "This limited edition set comes with...the DIRECTOR'S CUT edition of Aftermath 3." "Which includes PMs of all MT's hilarious grammar mistakes that he edits out, as well as some of those painfully terrible ideas he had for A3 originally." "It also includes links to all of the images MT shamelessly ripped off Google in order to make banners and character designs!" "Needless to say, he wasn't a big fan of the idea. What else do we have, Tahu?" "Well, you'll also get the COMPLETE ORCHESTRATED SOUNDTRACK TO AFTERMATH 3!" "Which...considering it's a text comedy...doesn't include much." "IT DOES INCLUDE FULLY VOICED ONOMONOPIAS, though! You'll get a burned CD in the mail with some of the BEST voice acting you've heard in your life! At least...assuming the only piece of media you've ever encountered before is Metroid: Other M." "But that's not all, is it, Tahu?" "Heck no! It's not! You'll get the complete A3 ARTBOOK!" "...which, again, has nothing in it since it's a text comedy." "AND you'll get a complete limited edition statue of one of the new heroes!" "What does this new hero look like? YOU'LL HAVE TO BUY THE LIMITED EDITION TO FIND OUT!" "So, just in case we haven't convinced you that this set is a GREAT deal...let's recap all that you get! First: The DIRECTOR'S CUT of Aftermath 3!" "Which is MT's bad ideas." "The ORCHESTRATED SOUNDTRACK!" "Quite possibly the only orchestrated soundtrack ever to not require an orchestra." "The COMPLETE ARTBOOK!" "Without any art." "AND AN AWESOME STATUE OF THE NEW HERO! ME!" "Which is-wait what?" "Uh...oh. Whoops. I wasn't supposed to spoil that, was I?" "...you WHAT?!" "Yeah. I'm actually the main hero of A3 after all. Guess I wasn't supposed to leak that yet, huh?" "You CAN'T be the main hero of A3! It takes place like two thousand years in the future! You'll be a dysfunctional pile of recycled plastic by then!" "WHAT? TWO THOUSAND YEARS LATER?! WHY?!" "Dunno. The reason's probably in the director's cut for A3." "..." "Sorry, Tahu. Don't think you'll be appearing in it." "...ha! You think that's gonna stop me? A mere span of time! Forget it!" "...where are you going?" "To the freezer! I'm going to stick myself in cryostasis until two thousand years are up!" "...wait...what? The freezer won't last that long!" "..." "...nuts. He's already gone. Well, information's below, people! ORDER NOW! Hey, Tahu! Wait!" ======= TO ORDER YOUR EXTREMELY LIMITED EDITION AFTERMATH 3 NOW, CALL THE TOLL FREE NUMBER WITH YOUR OR A NEIGHBOR'S CREDIT CARD BELOW! 1-800-567-SCAM OR MAIL A CHECK FOR $13.37 TO 12345 PORT TOWN DRIVE, HYRULE, PLANET ZEBES ZIP: 86753-09 ORDER NOW! -MT
