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Another old comedy for you all! This one was also released back in '06, a little later than TNI. It is a spoof of the first Bionicle Legends novel, Island of Doom, but was eventually abandoned when the idea for QFTCJP/Comedicle came around. Of my early comedies, this one is probably the least awful, but that isn't saying a whole lot. Ah, well, here it is anyway. (NOTE: Everything below this point is copied verbatim from the original) Well, this is my latest comedy, and the first ever spoof of Bionicle Legends#1! WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS. Since this is never been done before, it should be original! And so... CHARACTERS--Island of Metru Nui THE OLD GEEZERS (I mean, Turaga) Dume--Elder of Metru Nui, who's name happens to sound like 'Doom', and was once impersonated by Makuta...blah blah blah...you know that already. Nuju, Vakama, Nokama, Onewa, Whenua, Matau--Former Toa Morons--er, METRU, and Turaga of the villages of the island of Metru Nui (except Vakama, whose home got blown up by Rahkshi) Vakama: Nuju: Hey, Lewa0111! How come we don't get our own bio things? Lewa0111: I don't know, ask GregF. GregF: THE MATORAN Jaller--A guy with a Lhikan's Hau, he now serves as Captain of the (nonexistent) Ta-Metru Guard, and is also extremely dumb (but not as dumb as Krekka) Krekka: Muuuuuuuuhhhhhh... Nidhiki: It's 'Duh', not 'Muh'! Krekka: Muuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh... Matoro--Translator of Turaga Nuju, and a nerd. THE TOA Tahu: That's Toa NUVA! Takanuva--Toa of Weirdness Tahu Nuva--Toa Nuva of Fire Gali Nuva--Toa Nuva of Water Pohatu Nuva--Toa Nuva of Stone Onua-- Reader #1: Sheesh, we get the idea! '__ Nuva, Toa Nuva of __' every time! Just get to the book! Lewa0111: Okay, okay... ISLAND OF VOYA NUI THE MATORAN-- Garan--Onu-Matoran leader of the resistance Balta: Hey! Aren't the red guys supposed to be the leader? Garan: Yeah, but Lego is trying to get the other ones to sell better. Balta: Huh? Garan: Never mind. Balta: Whatever. Kazi--Ko-Matoran who is also a nerd. Velika--Po-Matoran inventor(and also the first non-carver Po-Matoran) Dalu--Ga-Matoran Fighter Piruk--Le-Matoran Crybaby THE PIRATES PIRAKA Zaktan--Green leader of the Piraka , made up of thousands of Rice Krispies ™ Hakann--Crimson-armored Piraka, who likes to jump into lava Reidak--Ebon (which isn't really a color) -armored Piraka, who is dumbER than Krekka and Jaller combined Reidak: Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Lewa0111: Exactly. Avak--Tan-armored Piraka Avak: Hey! They get all kinds of cool-sounding colors, and I get 'Tan'? What kind of cool color is that? 3 LETTERS, people! Come on! Lewa0111: Shut up, or I'll stuff you in a Dumpster. Avak: Thok--White-armored Piraka who likes to bite boulders in half for fun. Vezok: That's my line! Lewa0111: Get out of here. Narrator: And so, that was how Vezok got removed from the Character List. Reader #2: Really? I have always wondered about that... Chapter 0: Introduction. *At a private conference in the middle of nowhere* Tahu: Am I in trouble? I hope not! Gali: You big crybaby, you're not in trouble? We just saved the island! Tahu: I'm in trouble! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Gali: Whatever. Kopaka: ... Onua: You know, you're allowed to say other stuff besides, '...' Kopaka: ... Dume: SHUT UP! Kopaka: ... Dume: That means YOU, Kopaka! Kopaka: Dume: Thank you. One thousand years ago, the Great Spirit Metru Nui-- Nokama: It's MATA Nui! Dume: Yeah. I knew that, I was just...testing you! Lewa: Sure... Dume: Anyway, it is said that you Toa Nuva are destined to one day awaken Met--er...MATA Nui and restore peace to the galaxy. Obi-Wan Kenobi: Hey! That's the Jedi mission! Go find your own! Dume: Where'd you come from? Obi-Wan: *Obi-wan disappears* Dume: Okay, now that that's over, I have studied the stars (which are really not there, since we are underground) and have consulted with Turaga Nuju, who agrees with my findings. Vakama: He's the only one... Dume: ANYWAY, he'll tell you now. Nuju: Click click whistle beep weird sound! Pohatu: Umm...why did he say 'weird sound'? Matoro: Because that's the way GregF made it. Anyway, he says that the stars say...GALI HAS A CRUSH ON LEWA?!?!?!?!? Gali: SFX: SLAP! Matoro: AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!1!!one1 *flies out the window* Dume: Anyway, that wasn't what I was talking about. I meant the other one, *in monotone* the one about Mata Nui dying. All Toa: WHAT? Dume: So? It's been in METRU NUI TODAY ™ for weeks! GregF: There are no magazines in BIONICLE! Except the Lego Magazine. You can read that. Lewa0111: Get out of here before I sic my lawyer on you. GregF: AAHHHH! Lawyers! RUN! *hides in a corner* Lewa0111: I love doing that. Gali: Anyway, what can we do to save him? Dume: Just get rid of the lawyers. Gali: I meant Mata Nui. SFX: SLAP! Dume: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! *lands on top of Matoro* Lewa: Great. Now we don't know how to save him. I'm mad at you. Gali: No, don't be! I'll undo it. !PLAS :XFS *orotaM fo pot no sdnal* !hhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA :emuD Gali: Is that better? Lewa: Of course! Dume: SHUT UP!! As I was saying, all you have to do is go to the Island of Doom and find a Mask of Light. Takanuva: I found it! *pulls mask off his face, and turns back into Takua* Aww! Dume: I meant LIFE, not LIGHT. Takanuva: *puts mask back on* Is this it? *holds up LIFE board game* Dume: Get him out of here. Gali: Okay! SFX: SLAP! Takanuva: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!! *lands on top of Matoro and Dume's shadow* Everyone: Thank you! Tahu: Anyway, what happens if we get an owie? Those hurt! *trips* Mommy! Owowowowowowow! Wait--I don't have a Mommy! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Gali: You big baby! Tahu: WAAAAAAAHHHH!! Dume: Do not cry for this task, Tahu. The stars are there for all to see, including your nonexistent mommy. Lewa: Tell Takanuva to come with us! Dume: No! If Takanuva goes with you, he will annoy you to death before you reach the mask! He must stay here and annoy me instead. Toa: Next: Chapter One!
If the entry title is confusing, that's the level naming scheme for Doom/IoD. "E" stands for "Episode", "M" stands for "Map". E1M5 in IoD is going to be set in a series of mining tunnels, and is certainly the most customized level the game will have to offer, featuring a number of lifts/elevators, a mutagenic river, and a few teleports as well. The music is going to be fast-paced as well; something that'll probably make you want to run faster through the winding claustrophobic tunnels while toasting everything with a Midak Skyblaster. So why am I hyping all this up? Because I'm finally getting close to finishing design work for it. Honestly, though, it's one of the levels I'm most excited about.
Island of Doom Story: You are a lone Toa, with no known past and no planned future. You make a living in the Matoran Universe by being a treasure hunter. Travelling to the farthest charted regions of the Matoran world, you collect important artifacts or other items sought by many in order to gain profit. When there is word that six traitorous Skakdi thieves have found the Mask of Shadows and left for Voya Nui shortly after, you trek posthaste to the forgotten island in search of Makuta's coveted mask. When you arrive, you find the island barren. Your Toa canister washes up on the shores of a massive fortress, no doubt where the Skakdi thieves have hidden the mask. Armed with only a pistol, you make your way into the Piraka's stronghold... In short, Island of Doom is a first-person-shooter that my brother (Tifosi 94) and I are working on creating. The game takes place in an alternate universe. Just how alternate that universe is will be revealed at the end of the game. Software Info: Besides the obvious title reference to Doom, which is arguably the original first-person-shooter, Island of Doom is being constructed using an improved, freeware source-port of the game's original engine: ZDoom. While the original Doom ran in DOS, ZDoom can run in Windows XP and Vista, and revives the classic Doom for gameplay in newer versions of Windows. Another popular aspect of Doom that ZDoom revives was the amount of customizable features the game had. With the right tools, one could completely convert Doom into another game entirely. That's what my brother and I are doing in the creation of "Island of Doom", in an attempt to make a groundbreaking Bionicle FPS game. Gameplay Info: Because Island of Doom (IoD) uses the same engine that powers Doom, many of the controls and gameplay features are the same. However, we're looking to change a number of aspects of Doom gameplay in order to make it feel more original while still keeping the classic Doom gameplay intact. There will be five varying settings of difficulty to select from, depending on your experience with FPS games. IoD will feature nine playable levels, set in a variety of locations inside the Piraka stronghold; you'll be fighting through a laboratory, through underground tunnels, and at one point you may even come across the very room in which the Toa Nuva were imprisoned. The game has a variety of enemies for your character to fight, including Bohrok, Vahki, Rahkshi, and even the dreaded Makuta. Your aresenal includes a number of weapons from Bionicle lore, like a zamor sphere launcher or a Midak Skyblaster, as well as a few original weapons, such as the KS40 and Nynrah Shotgun. I'd like to stress that despite being a first-person-shooter, IoD will be no more violent than many existing fan-fictions here on BZP. Other Info: Right now, we're targeting a release date sometime around December. The game is well on track with no plans of being cancelled, as we are somewhere past halfway completed. IoD should run properly on most Windows operating systems. There is a patch that can run ZDoom on Macintosh, but we have no plans to integrate that into development as we have no Macintosh operating systems to test it on. The final download size for the game will be no more than 40MB, maybe less, so it shouldn't use a whole lot of space compared to other computer games. So yeah, that's Island of Doom in a nutshell. If you have any questions, just drop a comment. Every once in a while I'll probably post a few dev status updates here, as well as any more info on the release of the game.