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The LEGO Movie: Dangerous Detour


Master Inika

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Scene: Middle of the night, Motel Bricks. EMMET is lying on the floor, trying to get comfortable in a multicolored bed made of LEGO pieces. Next to him, WYLDSTYLE is asleep in the main bed.

 

EMMET (mumbling to himself): Gah, the Brick Bed … Whose bright idea was it? No matter how I position myself, there’s a stud up my … *shifts to a new position he hadn’t tried before* Hey, this is pretty good. Now to get some shuteye.

Just as he sighs happily and closes his eyes, a rooster crows and the sun shines through the blinds.

WYLDSTYLE: Emmet, get up, it’s time to go. A Micro Manager could be on its way to this very motel!

EMMET: Wha – Oh, no fair!

EMMET quickly disassembles the Brick Bed and puts it in his bag. He and WYLDSTYLE leave the motel and are soon walking through a desert.

EMMET: Why can’t we just take a bus?

WYLDSTYLE: Because, Lord Business has cronies everywhere. We need to make this journey inconspicuously. We need to be vigilant.

EMMET: Right. Vigilant. Like ninjas.

EMMET starts jumping around and making stereotypical Kung-Fu noises and motions.

EMMET: Vigil –

EMMET jumps on the edge of a ravine, and it crumbles beneath him, causing him to plummet down.

EMMET: AHH!

WYLDSTYLE hears EMMET hit the ground with a hard thud.

EMMET: – nt.

WYLDSTYLE sighs with pity and looks to see there’s a bridge nearby. On the other side is a sign, but WYLDSTYLE can’t read it from where she is.

WYLDSTYLE: Hold on, it looks like there’s a map on the other side. I’ll cross over and see if it can help us.

WYLDSTYLE starts walking across the rickety bridge. EMMET’s voice faintly comes up from the ravine.

WYLDSTYLE: Almost across, don’t worry.

As WYLDSTYLE steps on the middlemost plank, it snaps beneath her foot, and she too falls into the ravine, landing next to EMMET.

EMMET: I said, “Does the sign say ‘Cross with care’?”

WYLDSTYLE: Ugh, probably. How did you know?

EMMET: My construction company built this bridge. Maybe if you were more vigilant, you’d have tried to listen to me when I was calling to you.

WYLDSTYLE: Shut up. Do you remember which way the surface is?

EMMET: Yes, it’s over that way.

EMMET points to a dark cave with a spiked entrance.

EMMET: The workers called it the Cave of Doom.

WYLDSTYLE: Why’d they call it that?

EMMET: Because it was discovered by archaeologist Professor Hubert Cornelius Doom.

WYLDSTYLE: Oh, I was a little worried for a moment.

EMMET: Yeah, Professor Doom named a lot of stuff after himself. Doom Island, the Valley of Doom, the Doom Peninsula, the Dainty Little Butterfly of Doom. A lot of people thought it was a sign that the Professor was a little conceited. When they told him, he called it the Doom complex.

WYLDSTYLE: Oh, you sure know a lot about Professor Doom. Maybe you can tell me more when we pass through the cave.

EMMET: Oh, it’s also called the Cave of Doom because of the poisonous snakes and falling stalactites and lack of oxygen and stuff.

WYLDSTYLE: Let’s just get this over with.

EMMET: Right.

The two are slowly and carefully walking through the barely-lit cave.

EMMET (to himself): I’m not afraid of the dark … I’m not afraid of the dark … Why would I be afraid of the dark? Nothing to be afraid of in here. Except … spiders, and scorpions … and butterflies.

WYLDSTYLE: Butterflies?

EMMET: Don’t judge me, those things are terrifying! With their big wings and poisonous fangs …

Suddenly, a loud ROAR booms through the cave.

WYLDSTYLE: What could that have been?

EMMET: I don’t know, but the way to the exit goes right in its direction.

They proceed until they bump into a rock formation. The formation begins to move, revealing itself to be the CRYSTAL KING from Power Miners. As the monster stands up, WYLDSTYLE and EMMET see the luxurious fluffy bed he’s sleeping on. The CRYSTAL KING falls back on it, only to roar in anger and stand back up.

WYLDSTYLE: It seems like, since he’s made of rock, he can’t sleep on a soft bed. It feels like a bed of rocks would to us.

EMMET: Or … a bed of bricks!

EMMET takes the pieces to the Brick Bed out of his bag and reassembles them by the CRYSTAL KING’s foot.

EMMET: Hey, big guy! Need a nap?

The CRYSTAL KING growls uneasily and looks at the bed, then sits on it, smashing the bed to pieces. He lets out an angry-sounding noise louder than ever and flails his arms.

WYLDSTYLE: Maybe I was wrong. Maybe, to a Rock Monster, soft is hard, and hard is harder!

EMMET and WYLDSTYLE realize the CRYSTAL KING is actually yawning and stretching, and he falls to the floor beside them, snoring happily. The crushed remains of the Brick Bed are visible.

WYLDSTYLE: Aww, Emmet that was really sweet of you.

EMMET: Whatever, I hated that –

EMMET looks at WYLDSTYLE smiling and flipping her hair picturesquely.

WYLDSTYLE: It was really nice of you to help him out.

EMMET: – hated, hated, um, I hated the idea of that poor creature unable to get the rest he needed.

There is a flutter of wings at the roof the cave.

WYLDSTYLE: What’s that?

EMMET: I’m not sure.

They both look up, and there is a swarm of saccharinely cute-looking butterflies.

WYLDSTYLE: Aww, they’re adorable.

EMMET: AHH!

The butterflies notice them and their cutesy appearances drastically change as they hiss, expose their poison-dripped fangs, and spread their spindly wings.

EMMET: Run for your life, Wyldstyle, it’s a swarm of Daintly Little Butterflies of Doom!

They both begin running as the swarm gives chase.

WYLDSTYLE: Why do they call them Dainty and Little?

EMMET: Named after Dr. Amelia Dainty Little, who discovered them with Prof. Doom on a joint expedition.

WYLDSTYLE: I guess she had a Doom complex, too?

The two see light at the end of the cave and sprint. They run out back into the desert while the butterflies hiss and fly back inside the cave when the light hits them.

EMMET: Whoo, glad that’s over.

WYLDSTYLE: You and me both. Let’s keep moving.

 

DELETED SCENE

Originally, this was going to be about Emmet and Wyldstyle teaming up with Star Wars characters. Here’s a gag I planned to use that I personally love and think you guys will too, even if it’s not part of my formal entry:

 

Scene: A Star Destroyer is floating through space. Inside, DARTH VADER walks purposefully into his communications room, kneels on one knee, and bows his head as a hologram of PRESIDENT BUSINESS beams up.

 

PRESIDENT BUSINESS: Hey, hey, hey, Vader! How’s the expedition coming along?

DARTH VADER: Very well, My Lord. We have not yet located the one called Emmet, but we have promising leads.

PRESIDENT BUSINESS: Thanks, you guys are the best. I knew I could count on you. Keep me posted, okay?

DARTH VADER: As you wish.

DARTH VADER stands up and turns around.

PRESIDENT BUSINESS: Whoa, were you crouching this whole time? In all of our transmissions?

DARTH VADER: Um, yes?

PRESIDENT BUSINESS: Wow, I just thought you were really short.

Edited by Master Inika

"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

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Well done! I like this entry. It's short, witty, and accessible. And I think you did a really good job with the character dynamics. It may have TOO few characters, since it only focuses on Emmet and Wyldstyle, but then again adding a third party might just take the punchiness away from their arguments. Good luck in the contest!

Formerly Lyichir: Rachira of Influence

Aanchir's and Meiko's brother

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Your entry has a really nice flow to it. You've really mastered the pacing, which makes this a great read. I really don't have much criticism to offer! Let's see...oh yeah, the final lines struck me as unnecessary. You set up this great reprise of a previous joke - "Named after Dr. Amelia Dainty Little, who discovered them with Prof. Doom on a joint expedition" - but the lines that follow, including the directions, take away from the punch. I would consider removing them, adding as short line in reply by Wyldstyle, and ending there. I think it would make for a more memorable ending.

 

Otherwise, I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for entering!

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